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Key:

Regulus Clarius (Imperial)
Maja Hearthmaiden (Nord)



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3 Rain's Hand, 4E 202.








I know you're back there. Just... deep in thought, is all.

Mm. Hence my not disturbing you. Besides... I'm sitting here looking at a beautiful woman. Status quo back here could be a lot worse.

Hm. Flatterer.

Truth-teller.

... What's on your mind?

Ahh... just, looking back I suppose. Been busy lately, putting finishing touches on the house, restoring those old shrines... And now that we have some downtime for a couple of days, I... guess i'm just looking at how far I've come. What I've been through, where I am now. Reminiscing.

Not of something entirely pleasant, I gather from your expression. Anything you want to talk about?

Hmm...

*sigh*



I, uh...

...

...



Hm. Twenty... twenty-eight years ago now, just about. Imperial City's been taken by the Dominion, General Jonna leads reinforcements from Skyrim to link up with what remains of Emperor Mede's forces -- ... which... I forgot, you were there for. Sorry. Kind of up in my head for a moment there.

Mm.

So, all that aside... My mother enlisted. She'd been in the Legion when she was younger, got into mercenary work afterwards, and always stayed sharp. Even taught me everything she could. She wanted to put that prowess to good use, do her part to help stop the Dominion's advance. I was... nine years old at the time, I think. Not really old enough to fully comprehend the war, but...

You got that something was going on at least.

Mm. My parents raised me pretty grounded, down to earth. I knew about the bad things that were happening over the years. I knew she was going off to fight those bad things, and I more or less understood the... possibility that she might not come back. I understood. I didn't like it in the slightest, but... I understood. As best nine-year-old me could, at any rate.

She went with a group of other recruits going through a pass in the Jeralls, heading down to fall in with the rest of the army. Father took me up to a small cliffside overlooking the pass, to... to see her off...

...

...

And that was the last time I ever saw her.

...

...

... They never recovered the body?

No, they... they did. Brought it back, father helped bury her. I... stayed home. I never saw her body, I never...







I didn't want to see her like... that. I knew she was dead, I wasn't in denial about that. I knew she was gone.

I guess I just didn't want to... tarnish the memory, you know? I wanted to at least hold onto that.

Mmm. I know the feeling.

She wasn't really one for trinkets - exceptions for the little things my father made of course. All things considered, I... didn't really have much physically to remember her by. This amulet was hers; my father's a devoted Dibella worshipper and mother joined in later on, he made the amulet for her. But that's about it. We kept her uniform and weaponry, but they didn't really mean anything to me, they were just her tools of war, it wasn't her. This is her to me, and my memory is her, and that's all I really have.

...

I don't know, sometimes i wonder if I should've been there, at the burial. Should've seen her. Given her those final respects...

Either way, I don't think anyone could really blame you; hard enough losing a parent as an adult, let alone a child who's only ever known a life with them.

I do think your mother would've wanted you to do what's right for yourself first and foremost. If that means holing up in a little personal space for yourself so you can process everything, so be it. The War broke a lot of us.

*sigh* I know... Still.

Mm. Still.

...

I try not to think about it, for that very reason. Hate getting stuck in the loop of, uh... of "what if?", you know? "Should I have?". It's a little late at this point to do anything about the past. But it's been on my mind all day, so...

Sounds like you needed to get it off your chest, then.

True... I am feeling a little better about it now, talking about it. I've told the others a little bit over the years, but... not everything. Never really wanted to talk about it all that much.

But, it seems it was something I needed to talk about, then.

So... thanks for hearing me out.

No worries.

...

And... Hm... Well, for what it's worth, don't forget I was reassigned to General Jonna's detachment when everyone linked up. Who was your mother, out of curiosity?

Aelis Hearthland. Why, did you know her?

Name doesn't ring a bell, no. But it is entirely possible I fought alongside her without knowing who she was.

In any case, I bring this up because I got to see firsthand how you Nords fight. You make them tough up here, I gotta give you that. You just would not go down. I saw a man, had... six... I think seven arrows sticking out of him, and a mage had speared his arm with an ice spike. Some of the arrows looked like they'd hit vital organs. He was bleeding out, he was dying, and he knew it.

He still kept going. He was putting every last measure of strength he had into fighting, into taking as many Dominion soldiers down with him as he could. And he did; he put down three more after I got to him and incapacitated a fourth before finally collapsing. I walked over and finished off the fourth for him... more of a gesture than anything, he was bleeding out fast and I was too spent to heal him. But it was still a final... a final something for him.

And pretty much all the Nords I saw were like that. They were beaten and battered this way and that, and they held steadfast. The Dominion soldiers fleeing the Imperial City could do little more than crash upon our shields like ocean waves on a cliffside, before being cut down like wheat.

And I have no doubt your mother went down fighting just the same. She was fighting for you, for your lands, for everything. We were all fighting for everything, if we lost the war then that was it, that was the show, there wouldn't even be the Concordat to keep the peace. We'd just be subjugated and slaughtered like cattle. It'd be the Ayleids all over again.

However your mother died, if she was even half the warrior that it sounds like she was, she would've gone down hard. She would've gone down fighting. She would've well and truly earned her place in Sovngarde.

There's a lot of things in life I'm uncertain of, and... will probably go to my grave with no more certainty than I have now. That's just life, really. But I'm pretty sure your mother died well.

Again, for what it's worth.

It's worth a lot to me... thanks.

...

...

...

Anyways. It's dark out. And chilly. Let's get inside and warm up before we catch frostbite or something.

Heh. Your bed or mine?

Yours. My room doesn't have a fireplace.

You alright?

Yeah. I'm good now.