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Key:

 

Regulus Clarius (Imperial)
Maja Hearthmaiden (Nord)
Aleri Sevoran (Dunmer)

 

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13 Rain's Hand, 4E 202.

 

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...

 

*knock knock*

 

Regulus?

 

... Come in.

 

...

 

Morning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Morning... are you okay?

 

Yeah... I was yelling again, wasn't I?

 

Screaming.

 

Screaming?

 

Mm... the bodies near Fort Sejanus again?

 

Yeah, same dream again. Guess Vaermina wasn't done the first time...

 

Seriously, I was screaming? ... Too much to ask that I didn't wake youse up, at least?

 

Just me. Aleri'd already gotten up a little bit ago.

 

Ah... well, sorry Maja.

 

It's fine... ... Are you sure you're alright? You look like you've barely slept.

 

Yeah. It was a... bit of a rough night...

 

Ah... I'm fine. I am fine. I've, uh... ... I've lived with these bad nights for almost three decades now. At least now it's just the occasional bad night, relatively speaking. You should've...

 

...

 

Heh. You should've seen me back in the day, when I was at my absolute worst. I was a very wretched sight to behold then, still a mess. Still am, I suppose, but... this? This I can handle, honestly. I would've killed for this back then.

 

...

 

... Can't honestly say that's a joke, either.

 

...

 

*sigh*

 

I am fine. Just... probably best I take it easy today. Got a pounding headache right now...

 

It's a nice rainy day outside, good an excuse as any to stay inside and not do much, mm?

 

Well, I need to head into Whiterun later to meet with the foreman, get everything finished up. But then the day's pretty much open for whatever after that. Since I'm up now... might as well start heading over. You want to come with?

 

I wouldn't mind a walk in the rain to help wake me up, yeah. I'll get geared up...

 

Same.

 

 

 

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Yeah, I'm thinking we're gonna be in here for a little bit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

At least everything's taken care of now, so... no rush.

 

Mm...

 

Us stuck in a cave while we wait out a storm. Now how's that for a familiar situation?

 

Heh, yup.

 

...

 

Hey, Regulus?

 

Mm?

 

Mind if I ask a... more personal question, since we're waiting?

 

Pff, we're still at those kinds of boundaries these days? Ask freely.

 

Heh. A more... delicate question, I guess would be a better way to put it.

 

I've always been curious, regarding the Great War. Rather, regarding the people in it, affected by it, and so on. I've just always... I'm always interested in hearing people's thoughts from that time, especially the time before the war. Their recollections and such. I was just an infant when the war ended, so... Solstheim's isolation notwithstanding, I was still essentially raised in the aftermath.

 

I... I guess I'm interested because it was such a different time back then, or so I've been told.

 

It kinda was, yeah. I'm sure things were quiet in Solstheim, and Divines know the mainland's no stranger to war, but... well, it's called the Great War for a reason. We hadn't had something of its magnitude for quite some time.

 

Well, my question to you... ... Do you ever regret fighting in the War?

 

Regret it?

 

Or... I guess another way of putting it; knowing what you know now, knowing how the fighting would affect you... would you still do it? Still enlist in the Legion, still go to war?

 

Hm... That's a good question, actually. Hm...

 

...

 

...

 

Against my better judgement, I'd have to say yes, I would.

 

I didn't enlist with delusions of grandeur or anything; I knew what I was getting into, more or less. I mean, nothing can truly prepare you mentally for that kind of thing, but... I still figured it wasn't going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination. But I knew I had to do my part. The Dominion are not a foe to leave unchecked.

 

All heroics aside, I knew what I was in for and I knew it had to be done. But, if there's one thing I do regret...

 

Gwenevere?

 

Gwenevere.

 

Look, I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself. I knew then that the war would probably do my head in if I managed to survive it, I don't regret that per se. But I do regret how my behaviour because of it then affected her, if that makes sense.

 

I...

 

*sigh*

 

...

 

... She put up with so damned much from me. I mean, Divines bless her for her compassion, she understood the state I was in, gods know we were both trying so hard to pull my mess together. We thought we could make it work, you know? About to be married, we were trying for a child, we were saving up so we could move out of our shack, we...

 

... We thought it would focus me, finally get my mind off the war, and it... it seemed for all the world like it would've, it seemed like I was actually getting better. I was so... happy. We were happy. But then I just... got worse, and worse, and... I guess I wasn't really getting better in the first place, I was just deluding myself because I wanted to believe it could work. And finally I couldn't be there mentally for her anymore, and everything just...

 

...

 

It wasn't fair to her, you know? She chose to put up with my baggage for so long, but it still wasn't fair to her, she deserved better than that, better than me. And by the Nine I hope she did find someone good for her when we broke off. But I will always regret putting her through that.

 

You two, you're lucky, you've never seen me like I was back then. It's taken me the longest time to get back to some... basic semblance of normalcy. The depression, the anger, the hallucinations... I've had them all. I still have issues, this morning case in point. But I used to be worse, and Gwenevere bore the brunt. That is what I regret about fighting in the War.

 

...

 

...

 

... Heh. Suppose it's fitting. Today's the 13th, isn't it?

 

It is. Why?

 

Day of the Dead, back in Daggerfall. Obviously a long ways from here, but... well, ghosts of the past haunting us now, still sort of the same concept...

 

....

 

Anyways...

 

Anyways.

 

Anyways. Heh.

 

Rain's backing off a bit, looks like. Think we'd best get moving while we can.