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Yesterday was... something.

Before I start detailing what occurred yesterday, I need to catch the reader up on a few things so that this all makes more sense.


1. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was 8 and it has led me to have some different quirks that most people don't expect from others.


2. My parents, who were my foundational support while together even when they fought, divorced toward the end of 2019 but due to COVID, the finalization was postponed until August 2020.


3. Despite knowing deep down that my father never accepted my "disability", I chose to stay with him but only because the house he was getting to keep was my home my entire life and I knew no different.


4. I finally left to live with my mother in early August of this year, soon after dad finally got fed up with my issues and tried to kill me with a wooden chair.


5. Instead of being a nice father and allowing me to gather the rest of my stuff from the house and leave, he chose to fight me for it all in a legal battle that cost my mother and him a lot of money for nothing.


6. The things he got away with stealing from me (at least 60 different things) were deeply personal and sentimental to me.


... And one of those things was the Casper candelabra I'd had since I was 2 years old. My mother purchased it for me during a Halloween outing to Walmart that year. 26 years later and he still had no scratches, no fading, no broken lights and his original cord still in perfect working condition. I was so young when I got him that some part of me really came to believe that Halloween couldn't fully arrive for me without him and Halloween is my favorite day of the year. When he was not returned in any of the boxes that my dad put out in the front yard on both occasions that pickup was allowed, I was crushed. I realized that I might have to face Halloween without his cheerful glow for what felt like the first time ever since I do not remember much of Halloween the year before I got him. The epiphany made me way too uncomfortable, so I tried my best to push it aside as much as I could and tried to act like I'd forgotten all about it. However, that was not doable yesterday afternoon. In the middle of watching 31 Days of Halloween on FreeForm, suddenly there was that old familiar Universal Studios logo and that high-pitched, musical howl. I instantly knew what movie was coming on before the cameras even lit up enough to reveal the kids on bikes heading toward Whipstaff Manor with their camera. It felt like my whole world crumbled in that instant and all I could do was yell a single expletive before I broke down in a mound of tears and convulsing sobs. The emotional pain of remembering everything my father had recently put me through by seeing Casper coming on reduced me to that level. Remembering the loss of one of my favorite Halloween pieces reminded me really fast that my father did the things he did from 2019 until this last August. I freaked out. It took me most of the movie to calm myself down.

casper candelabra.jpg


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