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Go Llamas! - Chapter 4 (OLD)


freebreadalpaca

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Note: I wasn't happy with the old version. I thought it was too similar to the previous chapter. So I went ahead and re-wrote it. The old chapter is still available if you wish to view it.

 

Go Llamas - Chapter 4

The day after Bella's gangbang with Malcolm, Wolfgang and the rest of the team and she's feeling sore all over. And regret. The whole situation has gotten out of hand and she needs to put an end to things.

 

Spoiler

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HOLY SHIT does LL not like editing blog posts ?

Edited by freebreadalpaca

3 Comments


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I am enjoying this story, keep up the good work. How you rewrote this chapter is much better.  

 

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Just caught up. I also agree that this was overall an improvement. Maybe the previous part 4 script highlighted it but I think you are better off with less or at least more broken up sex.
Still good though, even though it was sex the framing of marital sex being unsatisfying does a better job to frame Bella's... probably a bit too eager sluttery.

Oh and although from the cut part 4, I do particularly like the frame of Bella calling out goodbye to her son. Probably the best single frame summary of Bella's mental state.

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22 hours ago, fish75 said:

I am enjoying this story, keep up the good work. How you rewrote this chapter is much better.  

 

 

5 hours ago, malvic said:

Just caught up. I also agree that this was overall an improvement. Maybe the previous part 4 script highlighted it but I think you are better off with less or at least more broken up sex.
Still good though, even though it was sex the framing of marital sex being unsatisfying does a better job to frame Bella's... probably a bit too eager sluttery.

Oh and although from the cut part 4, I do particularly like the frame of Bella calling out goodbye to her son. Probably the best single frame summary of Bella's mental state.

 

Thanks for the feedback!

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