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Introduction


DomDate

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BLOG DESCRIPTION : Short

 

​A Q&A resource for MOD creators who wish to research real-world BDSM considerations when developing their properties.

 

​A resource for the curious, and portal for the adventurous into the real world of fetishism.

 

 

 

CREDENTIALS :

 

I go by the name of DomDate. I have been an active fetishist since 1994. I became fully involved with the BDSM community in 2002. I am a Dominant, or "DOM". I have retained one regular girl throughout, and have been part of two polyamorous* relationships over the years - the most recent ending a few months ago. The first involved an additional girl as a 24/7 submissive, and the second relationship included these same considerations plus a vanilla** male counter-part who observed and also acted as an additional love-interest for my girl.

 

I am known to many hard-core scene members in my immediate locality and it's surrounding areas (in person - not as an anonymous net identity), and am considered in good standing within the community. This area comprises (in Canada) The Niagara Region, The Golden Horseshoe, The GTO, Guelph/Kitchener/Waterloo and (in America) Fort Eerie and Buffalo.

 

I have been an attender of public venues, private parties and assorted group social events. I have manufactured and regularly use fetish gear and possess a thorough understanding of their safe-use practices. I was mentored*** by Lady Lavender of the Niagara Golden Horseshoe. I am well versed in the psychology of the lifestyle.

 

My credentials can be confirmed here : Fetlife.com ****

 

 

 

BLOG DESCRIPTION : Long (or, what's the point?)

 

A substantial portion of the mods I've encountered here on Lover's Lab deal with an assortment of fetish ideals or situations. These range from offerings that I've participated in the real-life counter-parts of, to the outlandishly fantastical. Of course a game is the perfect environment for fantasy.

 

​I see this phenomena of recurrent BDSM themes as an example of a generally growing curiosity in the lifestyle. As such, I find myself in the unique position of being someone who mods extensively, is actively developing my own mods, and also has a presence in a well-established real-world fetish community.

 

I'm certain some of our contributors also share this position, but there was a void that could be filled and I've decided to act.

 

What I specifically hope to accomplish with this blog is two-fold in purpose. For non-lifestyle fetish mod developers, I'd like to offer my experience. If you have lifestyle-oriented questions, I may be able to guide you. For the curious and possibly bold gamers out there who think that they may like to transition into the real world of fetishism I will to the best of my abilities direct you in discovering venues in your own locality, initial safe-practices, and answer questions that you have about what to expect.

 

I am generally a smart-assed individual, but I'll try to play this blog as straight as I can. ;)

 

Even though I have tried hard to authenticate myself as a trust-worthy and authoritative individual, I entreat you to never take my word as final. There are many great resources out on the net, and you should always check your facts. I am speaking specifically to curious real-world seekers. Believe that it is a dangerous world full of predators and conduct a slow, well-informed immersion. Don't be over-eager. You do NOT know that you are capable of swimming the waters, simply because you are dipping your toe in. The smallest interactions may have life-lasting effects. Take it slow and make sure that they are building, not damaging ones.

 

 

BLOG - FUTURE STRUCTURE :

 

I'm going to try to address a single topic per entry, so that this does not become too long in the tooth. Topics will be decided based on your responses and question to previous topics. You can also request a topic via the comments section or through a PM if you wish to remain anonymous.

 

 

UP NEXT :

 

I've opened the can of worms, so the next entry will deal specifically with joining the real-world fetish community. I want you to play safely, after all. I'll discuss how to find your local community, initial integration safe-practices, and challenge you to examine your motivations and intentions honestly.

 

Future entries will include topics such as the psychology of BDSM and why people find it's practice rewarding, and the hard-line differences between gaming and practice including the dangers of familiarity with fantasy-based exposures on the mindset prior to joining a community.

 

And of course, your suggestions and questions.

 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES :

 

These are a few. My initial offerings are of sites in which I am personally familiar with the people involved, and therefore feel confident in offering their information to you. I will from time to time add to this list, and a link to this entry will be included with every post - so occasionally check back to see what's new. If you can recommend a site which you feel deserves to be here, let me know.. ;)

 

FetLife - This is an extremely large community. It is considered the BDSM equivalent to Facebook. In addition to a large established community, it also offers a wealth of information on any fetish-related topic you can think of. Bear in mind though that anyone can create a topic. Always do follow-up research. Feel free to send me a friend request. Make sure to identify yourself as hailing from LL!

 

ENBC - Contains a great strater's guide, in addition to workshop and event listings for Southern Ontario.

 

The Darkside - A podcast dedicated to all things BDSM related.

 

Ontario Kink - This site features interviews and hosts guest blog highlights. MasterMatt hosts, and is someone I respect for having done great things to keep the under 30s crowd safe and informed.

 

 

 

 

 


 

NOTES:

* An espousal arrangement involving multiple, sexually active partners

** An individual who does not participate in fetish activity

*** An Individual who trains a fetishist in both physical and mental safe practices, trains self-awareness and guides the inductee in integration (the degree of mentor involvement is individual and may not encompass all of these points).

**** This is the Facebook of the fetish scene. Yes it does require membership but the site does not require any personal information, will not send unsolicited information nor share/sell anything you choose to publish. You can delete your membership immediately after confirming if you wish. If you are a fan of Ashal, then you will also be a fan of Baku. Both are committed to an open, safe resource.

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EDITED: I did not notice that the spell-checker switched polyamorous  to polygamous. Corrected before the authorities showed up at my front door... *whew*   ;)

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