Amren

You've come back, and with my Fathers sword no less

Angela Healing-Hands

I have

Amren

You are truly a woman of your word

Angela Healing-Hands

I am

Amren

300 gold is what we agreed on yes?

Angela Healing-Hands

Amren

Alright, gold for the sword then

Angela Healing-Hands

Here we--

Amren

Hmm, no no wait.

Angela Healing-Hands

Something wrong?

Amren

I've been thinking about this for sometime now, you are a fine Hero to Skyrim friend. Doing this great deed for me was no easy task, I have had much time to think on this

Angela Healing-Hands

On what?

Amren

I'm offering you a chance to keep the blade.

Angela Healing-Hands

Keep it and still get the gold?

Amren

No, I'll keep the gold and you keep the Blade

Angela Healing-Hands

Hmm, nah I'll take the gold thanks

Amren

Hero please, you are too kind but this weapon will serve you better then I

Angela Healing-Hands

Hmm, yeah I'm pretty tough but still I'd like the gold please

Amren

Hmm, are you sure Hero?

Angela Healing-Hands

Yes, the gold PLEASE

Amren

I do not think you understand what I'm saying

Angela Healing-Hands

Oh I don't think you understand that I want the gold, not this sword

Amren

The Blade is for a hero, you are a Hero

Angela Healing-Hands

Yeah yeah, gold please

Amren

Take the sword

Angela Healing-Hands

Again, no thank you. Here is your Sword, hand me my gold

Amren

Hero please--

Angela Healing-Hands

Okay, okay listen to me and listen carefully. I don't want this rusty piece of CRAP! Okay, it can barely cut cheese! You have any idea how useless it is? I got it from a low level quest idiot in a low level town. The weapons and gear I'm rocking right now are hundreds of levels above this SHITTY THING!

Amren

What are you saying hero?

Angela Healing-Hands

I'm saying, give me the coin

Amren

Are you sure Hero?

Angela Healing-Hands

Oh, I HATE SHITTY FETCH QUESTS!

Amren

A fine weapon for a fine lady

Angela Healing-Hands

Listen here Amren, give me 300 gold, and take your shitty sword OR ELSE!

Amren

Or... else?

Angela Healing-Hands

I'm trying to be nice here, REALLY nice, so the 300 gold

Amren

Y-yes.. of course

Angela Healing-Hands

Thank you

Amren

T-thank you Hero

Angela Healing-Hands

Good day... idiot  

 

 

Sometime later...

Angela

Gods give me strength

Angela

Skyrim really is home to all kinds of idiots

Angela

That idiot is lucky to be alive

Mercy

Well... who got your panties in a twist?

Angela

An idiotic man

Mercy

Heh, I should have known. What did he do to upset the Great Angela Healing-Hands? Who is known for her kindness and patience of a Saint

Angela

He hired me to fetch his long lost Family Blade and then tried to get me to keep it over the agreed sum of gold

Mercy

Oh?

Angela

I swear Mercy, I was about 5 seconds from hitting him with his rusty weapon

Mercy

Hah! I wish you had, I'd have loved to see it

Angela

Gods.... I'm so angry!

Mercy

Hey hey... focus on my voice, everything is okay now. You can let it out now

Angela

I'm... sorry Mercy, it has been a long day and I've not eaten or slept in a while. Forgive me and my words, I am so tired

Mercy

Hmm, how about I make you some breakfast while you climb into bed?

Angela

Well I am quite hungry, and I have missed our bed a lot

Mercy

I'll cook you anything you want babe, name it

Angela

Hmm, I could go for some buttered bread with bacon and beans hmm...

Wait a second... Mercy... what has gotten into you all of a sudden?

Mercy

Nothing, I'm just being supportive of my lover. Okay see while you were away doing Hero things I've been reading this book on how to be more...

Oh how did it put it?

Angela

Loving?

Mercy

Yes, something like that. The book contains advice and shit... so here I am trying to be supportive and loving for my family

Angela

Huh, really?

Mercy

Yeah, you were right Ange. I've gotta grow up sometime

Angela

Mercy I love you more then anything and the fact you are trying to improve yourself only shows how much you love me too. For this I am grateful

Mercy

Hey don't mock me!

Angela

I'm not, you misunderstand me.

Mercy

Oh, so you really like that I'm making an effort?

Angela

I love it

Mercy

Heh, well you may have also noticed that I've not tried not to jump into having sex with you straight away? The book said sex should be a cherished opportunity and not wasted or rushed.

Angela

Your naked though?

Mercy

I'm always naked for fuck sake!

Angela

Hah, there she is

Mercy

Damn you, I was doing so well as well

Angela

Yeah you were

Mercy

I'll get you for this

Angela

How so?

Mercy

You'll see

Angela

So, breakfast then?

Mercy

Make you own damn-- No... no I'm not give up, fuck this is so hard.

Angela... honey would you like some breakfast?

Angela

Yes please

Mercy

Then I'll make you breakfast, after we have lots of sex because fuck am I GIVING UP SEX!!! That book can burn in Oblivion for all I care!

Angela

I think as a Cleric I can redeem one sin from your soul

Mercy

Meaning?

Angela

You can fuck me all you want

Mercy

Angela

Anytime, anywhere with anyone

Mercy

OH!

Angela

I love you

Mercy

And I love you too

Angela

Now, fuck me!

Mercy

Hah, never thought you'd ask

Angela

Make me scream so loud that the Greybeards hear me

Mercy

Oh, they will hear you

Angela

My turn

Mercy

Alright, give it your best shot, see if you can handle me

Angela

I think I can handle you

Mercy

I'll be waiting

Angela

I know just the thing you need

Mercy

Oh?

Angela

ANAL ATTACK!

Mercy

HEY!

Angela

Your one weakness

Mercy

Fuck you!

Angela

Oh no, I'm the one fucking you

Mercy

Heh shut up

Angela

<Heavy Breathing> I... think... that's enough sex... for today

Mercy

<Heavy breathing> For once.... I agree... with you

Angela

Gods... I'm going to need... a bath

Mercy

As am... I

Angela

You were... wonderful by the way

Mercy

I was?

Angela

Yes, sex with you... is always the best sex ever

Mercy

Heh, good.

Angela

Weird question though, where did you get these strapon ons?

Mercy

Relax, they are just normal strap ons with powerful illusion spells on built in.

They look weird yeah but they are just like a joke sex toy or some shit, I think there cute by the way

Angela

So, this is the book huh?

Mercy

HEY! Give it here

Angela

Now now, Mercy behave yourself

Mercy

Oh great, here you go

Angela

You want to make this work, you'll need my support as well.

Okay, so like how far are you into this thing?

Mercy

I think it was page 431... no wait! Page... 531.

Fuck! I knew I should have got a bookmark

Angela

Lets see here.... oh! Relationship goals. Interesting...

Mercy

Can you just kill me know?

Angela

Later I can, now shh your lips I'm reading

Mercy

I knew I'd regret buying that book

Angela

Bought or stole?

Mercy

I... bought it, well traded it

Angela

Traded, with what?

Mercy

Uh... my... Guide on Summoning Deadly Daedra... I signed it too.

Turns out the weirdo behind the counter was a fan or some shit

Angela

Huh, well that means a lot coming from you. Thank you

Mercy

Yeah yeah get to reading, while I'm planning my suicide 

Angela

And that is a great example of why you should think before you speak

Mercy

You know how I tick, I'm a dark person inside, I tend to say dark shit okay.

Get over it

Angela

Right. So, what is the long term goal of this relationship to you?

Mercy

Angela

Oh, I think you do.

You want to fuck me, fuck me and oh yeah fuck me

Mercy

Not in that order though

Angela

Heh, well we can not really settle down and have a family, or even get married.

Mercy

Why not?

Angela

HEY!

Mercy

Once you have decided that your romantic partner and you are ready to take the next step in your relationship, Marriage is the next option.

Angela

Okay... and the point?

Mercy

The point is, why not?

Angela

I'll give you a million reasons why not. First we are the same soul, same person with two twisted personalities opposite one another, secondly it's incest--

Mercy

Thought you did not consider me your incestuous lover?

Angela

Not now... but we get married and we are technically yeah family

Mercy

I don't think that is how it works

Angela

Oh Gods give me strength, you are not serious about this?

Mercy

When am I ever serious?

Angela

Mercy... okay, what would our wedding look like then?

Mercy

Me in Black, you in White... a few friends

Angela

A few knifes against throats, a few tears.... Gods, you think the Temple of Mara would allow that? Think I'd allow it?

Mercy

You'd have to

Angela

Fuck me

Mercy

Already have

Angela

Mercy... please think about this, for once. People already think we are Sisters if they see us getting married then well we could get chased out of Skyrim or worse executed or worth

Mercy

Whats worse then death, you mean like double death?

Angela

Gods...

Mercy

Relax, it would be quiet wedding. A few trusted friends, though the Priest would have to be "convinced" to wed us. I think it would be nice

Angela

So you want to do this? Get married?

Mercy

Hey the book said it, not me

Angela

Marriage is important, it is a scared tradition

Mercy

Blah blah blah

Angela

Look, I'll think about it but...

Mercy

What would you picture then?

Angela

For our wedding if we had one?

Mercy

Yes

Angela

Like you said, a few trusted friends, quiet place away from eye sight... you in a loving black dress just revealing enough to keep it classy... it would be nice I guess. Heh... Cake, wedding rings... Love in the air... smiles

Mercy

Angela... will you marry me?

 

 

!!!TO BE CONTINUED!!!