She wishes that those who read Her blog keep an open mind.
She had no intentions of revealing Her thoughts to the public.
Only to a few close friends She'd make on LoversLab.
But She has none, and She is eager to see if anybody out there shares a similar discontent.
Perhaps She isn't as alone as She thinks She is?
She has always been this way.
It is all She knows.
She protects Herself by eliminating potential heartbreak and pain.
Because She's come to realize that no amount of physical pain can compare to the pain of rejection.
Or the pain of losing something She loves with all that She is.
She is not a real woman.
She isn't even a real human being.
She is the resault of years of programing.
Sometimes She feels She is being minipulated by external forces She can not see.
It makes Her wonder if
She hasn't been feeling well these past few days.
She spends Her mornings sitting on the fountain,
with Her forehead resting on Her forearms and Her eyelids half closed.
She wonders what the sadists are up to.
She has skipped school today to submerge Her body under the duvet.
Only Her eyes are aren't covered.
She hasn't eaten, and feels no need to.
She is all alone today, She does not mind it,
She just wishes Kurt were here to order around.
She has little to say today.
S
She will not miss him this time.
He should stay away for good!
She hates him, he feels nothing for Her.
But every time he spreads his wings, She can not control Her emotions.
She finds Herself stumbling into his direction,
as though he'd take off at any moment.
He makes Her feel safe.
He makes Her feel special.
He makes Her feel Important and loved.
Just long enough for Her anger to diminish,
and transmute into pain.
As he unlaces Her fingers from his neck.
"I love you." His
They attempt to stare Her down once again, but their eyes aren't as fierce as Hers.
They feel the anger resonate from Hers.
"She has never been afraid of prying eyes, remember?"
And even less so for their empty stares.
Their impudent grins quickly subside into an odd expression She can't quite explain.
The expression one makes when one smells something maloudorous?
But She knows that this small victory won't last...
She wishes that they would grow up, or at least change their tactic
"Two Fifths In?"
She turns 18 in a short while, not too far from now.
She does not look foward to it, too many painful, lonely memories.
Why celebrate the reality of drawing one year colser to Her death? She wonders...
She has never been afraid of prying eyes nor curled down lips. So keep an open mind.
She's also never been the type to spoon feed Her audience as you may have noticed.
Mystery makes life more interesting. But She steers off path now.
"Two Fifths In"
The very se
