She has always been this way.

It is all She knows.

She protects Herself by eliminating potential heartbreak and pain.

Because She's come to realize that no amount of physical pain can compare to the pain of rejection.

Or the pain of losing something She loves with all that She is.

She is not a real woman.

She isn't even a real human being.

She is the resault of years of programing.

Sometimes She feels She is being minipulated by external forces She can not see.

It makes Her wonder if She's even in control.

She can not stomach the thought.

She MUST always to be in control.

The greatest way to be in control is to fool Her victims into thinking that they are in control.

But She is careful not to lose at Her own game.

She keeps an open mind and open eyes for the higher ups desguising themselves as the victim,

in hopes of Her lowering Her gaurd, and foolishly treading into their striking distance.

All to have the last laugh.

Perhaps She is being a bit paranoid?

NO!

Paranoid is what they call Her to disrupt Her silence,

to throw Her off guard, to weaken Her defences.

But She has always been ruled by instinct.

She is very maticulous about finding irregularities in everything.

Which usualy has the opposite desired effect.

But rather safe than sorry, She believes.

She isn't as emotionless and cold as She'd lead you to believe.

Little things hurt her.

Like being excluded and perpously disregaurded,

or being verbaly abused, She'd prefer to be savagely beaten than to be called a b*tch.

But you could never tell, because She'd never give you the opportunity to understand Her.

She loves to play the mysterious and misunderstood super villan everybody hates.

... She has just had a moment of lucidity reading what She'd written.

She has just realized that She loves misery.

It all makes sense to Her now.

Perhaps She has lived far too long in such an unhappy state that She has grown acustomed to it?

Accepted it?

Perhaps She should run away from home...