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Looking for an idiom/proverb EDIT: Now I'm looking for titles


Hitman69

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Posted

Idiom has been found, now I'm looking for titles to chapters 5 and 6, check the 13th post in this thread for details.

 

 

Well, I'm at a loss.

you see, I'm trying to write a story, but I can't seem to find the right words at the moment. I'm looking for an idiom or proverb that effectively means the same as "That's the straw that broke the camel's back"

I can't seem to make that particular idiom work, in the story. So, effectively, I need another, meaning the same.

I already have "The final nail in the coffin" but that doesn't work either.

 

Any help is greatly appreciated.

Posted

All of them good (apart from maybe the last one from Dreamer, that's a bit too much, really). Problem is, I can't see them fitting in any better.

Also, I absolutely love the one from Searinglich, can't use it, though.

 

If it helps, I can sketch the situation up for you, might make finding the right one easier.

 

The idea is basically that the main girl (Khajiit) just found out she's pregnant. She's running around in her tribe, trying to find her mate (an Imperial). What she doesn't know is that he had just left the tribe.

 

When she eventually gives up and goes home, her best friend is waiting for her there, and tells her that he's okay, but that he left, which sends her over the brink. (I might use that one as a placeholder).

She starts crying, and her friend asks what's wrong.

Sobbing, she tells her she's pregnant. (This is also where the reader would discover that she is pregnant)

 

 

For now, it's not that important, as I want to build a buffer first, so I can release a chapter each day for a week or so. I'm busy right now with chapter four.

 

This thing is kind of a nitpick, but I'm a bit OCD, when it comes to these kinds of details.

Posted

"it broke the floodgates that held back her emotions"

 

"it shattered her control and let loose a wave of tears"

 

"it strickened her and she could no longer hold back her grief."

 

Searinglich has the gist of it. Liken her emotion to a storm or a flood that is being held back by her control/will and the news is that which breaks the control and lets it loose.

Posted

"it broke the floodgates that held back her emotions"

That's almost exactly what I'm looking for, so I think I'll use that one, unless someone comes up with an even better one.

Thanks for all the help.

 

Also, Searinglich, you're quite the poetic one, aren't you?

Posted

"The wave of her emotions crashed against the wall of her will and sent it crumbling into the sea of her tears."

Not sure if that counts, but it sounded alright in my head.

Also, it's not that i'm poetic, it's that I view life in a different perspective.

Where as some people prefer to watch the sun set, I prefer to see it rise.

To put it simply, Normal people build castles on the ground, but I build them in the sky.

Posted

"The wave of her emotions crashed against the wall of her will and sent it crumbling into the sea of her tears."

Not sure if that counts' date=' but it sounded alright in my head.

[/quote']

Would replace the last 'the' by 'a', then it sounds very well. 'Fraid it is a bit too long for my tastes, though.

 

Also' date=' it's not that i'm poetic, it's that I view life in a different perspective.

[/quote']

Isn't viewing life differently the base of a poetic thinker?

 

You really have a way with words.

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

So, I've gotten through writing chapter 4 (actually, I already was done with that at least a month ago), and I'm busy writing number 5.

Number 5 won't have any sexual content, and will be about the child of the previous girl (said child's name is Flora). Her mother left Flora with her familiar, because of impending doom for the tribe. It has been about 4 years, so the girl is about five, when the tiger gets killed, and she gets taken in by an ex-slaver. This chapter will be mostly about her growing up, but I'm already stuck on the title, and would appreciate any suggestions. I'm mostly looking for stuff with a double layer, but anything else is fine too.

 

To give the titles of the first four chapters:

 

Ashira's catch

Chasing tail

New life

An eventful day

 

 

I'm also looking for a title for the sixth chapter, which'll be about her first time. Point is, it's non-con, and on top of that, the dog is involved. :angel:

I have some ideas, but I can't decide.

What I've gotten so far are these two:

 

Flora's deflowering/deflowering Flora

(Like) a dog with a bone

 

I'd like suggestions for that as well.

 

Thanks in advanced.

Posted

Here's two I that happened upon my train of thought

Not the best but I just thought of them just now

 

Chapter 5: Floral Cascade

Chapter 6: Rough Bend

 

I'll think of some more when my head isn't cluttered with nonsensical ramblings like how can a scale turn an arrow upside foward diagonal.

Posted

I'll think of some more when my head isn't cluttered with nonsensical ramblings like how can a scale turn an arrow upside foward diagonal.

:huh: Wait, what? Care to elaborate on that?

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