The Pun Thread!

[Guest]

Post your favorite puns! Ones that make people laugh or make people shake their heads and yell out WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

 

Also, I'm not limiting this to puns, post anything satirical!

 

Here are some:

 

Trust Sleepy's, for the rest of your life!

 

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran!

 

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

[D_KNIGHT_PEN]

pies are squared. (if you don't understand pi*r^2)

[Kuroshu]

This one is from Highschool of the Dead.

"Do you enjoy getting girls wet?"

[Guest]

Here's one:

 

(Say this on May 4): Did you know that today is Star wars day? "May the 4th be with you!"

[sammythesquirrel]

i'd go with this but all my puns require illustrations since they come from Piers Anthony novels

[Guest]

^You could always try taking pictures and then posted them here

 

Here's a pun:

 

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

This thread is so much PUN!

[Guest]

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

[Guest]

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

[Guest]

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

[sammythesquirrel]

a physic midget escaped from prison makeing headlines: SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE

bicycles cant stand on their own they are two tired

such a waste he has a photographic memory but its not fully developed

all atheists are part of a non-prophet organisation

ever been to a shotgun wedding? they say its a wife-or-death kind of thing

go ahead keep pushing the envelope its still stationary

why do prisoners love periods? they mark the end of the sentence

for us girls marriage is like being int eh witness protection program we always get a new name and a dress

[Guest]

...This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman... She, of course, turns him down. Not willing, to give up, he pleads with her... "C'mon lady, I'm a fun guy..."

[Guest]

...This horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, buddy, why the long face...

[wampa]

There was the person who sent ten different puns to

friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

[Guest]

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

[wampa]

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)

^you also already said that one mad god

[Guest]

^ My bad, thanks. Fixed.

 

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

[wampa]

dont know if we r goin with pics to but heres 1 a friend just sent me

 

[sammythesquirrel]

^NICE

[wampa]

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." ba dum tssh

[sammythesquirrel]

man killed in cross fire as bamboo shoots

[sammythesquirrel]

I'M A TEPEE IM A WIGWAM IM A TEPEE IM A WIGWAM dude relax your too tents

[Guest]

A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.

[wampa]

What do you get when you mix a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite

[Guest]

I dropped out of my communism class because of lousy Marx.

[lolerzness]

Librarian : Can i borrow your DICKtionary?