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Elrindir's Discount Magic Items v2


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There's not enough merriment in Skyrim. Sorry, Cicero doesn't count. Where's the funny stuff?
So here's this little thing. It's not exactly funny, but it can be mistaken for vaguely humorous in a dim light.

 

Description:
This mod adds some new dialogue to a couple of NPCs, and some new items too.

 

What magic turns cheese to wine?
Speak to Elrindir at the Drunken Huntsman in Whiterun.

 

Discount Magic Items!
Elrindir also has some nifty, oh-so-helpful gear for sale.

 

The Why Of Questing
Speak to Seren in Dawnstar. She may have a new quest for you. Or maybe not.

 

Serendipitous Silversmith Stupidity
Kerah of Markarth has a job for you.

 

This is one of those mods you install, try out, say "Huh!" to yourself, and uninstall to clear up space in your load order.
Give it ten minutes and hopefully it'll elicit a chuckle or two, and that's about it.

 

Requirements:
Fuz-Ro-D'oh and its own requirements (SKSE).
Oh, and Skyrim. In case you were confused.

 

Special thanks to:
Monty Python, for the cheese skit. And other skits.
Rich Berlew, for a more circumstantially appropriate end to the cheese skit.
Terry Pratchett, for CMOT Dibbler.
Docclox, for mistakenly referring to the Drunken Huntsman as a "pub" leading to the whole idea in the first place.
Jfraser and SkyrimLL for invaluable advice about how to use the CK without setting fire to the motherboard.
Jfraser, SkyrimLL, Jordisslave, and Thermius for testing out yet another one of my little peccadillos.
TES5Edit for being so much better than the CK at making seq files. I mean, seriously now.
Probably a couple of other people I've forgotten.

 

To-do list:
Eh, I dunno... not much, really.
Maybe go in and fix emotion levels.
I should really also add "not enough money" checks so you can't get away with getting items for free.
I also need to fix the scroll - missing a casting effect.
I should also add in an actual magic effect for the gauntlets. And the horn, and the wand, ring...
Add some more sketches! Why not? :D :lol::D:lol::D:lol::D
Actually, I guess there's a sizeable list of things to do. And they will get done! Eventually. Some day.

 

Testimonials:
Apparently the thing to do these days is to put user testicles testimonials in the description page. So here are some glowing quotes about this and other Content Consumer mods:
The author must be barking mad. - Gilvas Barelo
So buggy you'd think you were in an anthill. - Caius Cosades
Meh. - Divayth Fyr
What is your damage? - Ruran Stoine
You should be ashamed of yourself. - Nevena Ules
After installing, computer grew arms and tried to strangle me. 0/10 stars, Would Not Recommend. - Raesa Pullia
Is this your first time at a keyboard? - Falura Llervu
I don't believe I've ever seen code this badly written. - Zabamund
Truly the greatest thing ever, and I am not getting paid to say this. Really. Honest. We done here? Good, now where's my money? - Danoso Andrano

 

FAQ:
Generally "FAQ" requires questions to be asked frequently. In this case, I'm trying to anticipate questions instead.

 

Q: I'm having a problem with this mod.
A: That is certainly possible. I'm a newb to modding. Leave a comment in the support thread and I'll get back to you. I can't guarantee I can fix a problem, but I'll do my best. :)

 

Q: I have a question about this or any other mod. Should I PM you?
A: No, please. Use the support thread. That's what it is there for.

 

Q: Your mod conflicts with <other mod>.
A: That is highly unlikely, although I suppose if anything does massive renovations to Elrindir it's certainly possible. In general, for stuff like this, put whichever one you want more lower on the list.

 

Q: Can I suggest <feature>?
A: Yes please! I can't guarantee the request will get into the mod, because as I've said I'm not very good at modding, but I'll certainly consider it!

 

Q: Where shall I contact you about adding in <feature>?
A: The support thread, please.

 

Q: Can I translate your mod?
A: Certainly! I didn't write it with any sort of translation in mind, though, and I do tend to use American English idioms and phrasing, so... good luck! Go ahead and post your translation in the support thread and I will link to it in the download page. If you do make a translation, be a lamb and either send me the file so I can upload it, or at least post a link so I can add it to the description.

 

Q: Can I or you upload this to another site?
A: I'd rather you didn't. If I want it uploaded elsewhere, I'll do so myself. Chances are this one will end up on Nexus at some point.

 

Q: Can I patch your mod?
A: I'd rather you didn't, if only because that'd make multiple versions sitting on the internet somewhere, and if I ever get bug reports or questions about it, tracking down which version is being talked about is a pain. Not to mention that a "patch" may well add stuff or remove stuff I don't want added or removed. In short... patch away if you wish, but don't post the patch if you please.

 

Q: I love this mod! How can I show my appreciation?
A: Leave me a "thank you" in the support thread, that'd be wonderful.

 

Q: I hate this mod, and I'd like to tell you why!
A: Sorry to hear that, but I'd be happy to hear your complaint. Leave it in the support thread.

 

Q: You do seem to be a bit obsessed with the support thread. Any particular reason?
A: I just feel that spending a PM on a simple suggestion, request, comment, or complaint is a bit outlandish. The support thread is there for a reason.

 

Q: Can I ask you about how you made this mod?
A: Yes you can.

 

Q: Where?
A: ...In the support thread.

 

Q: What about...
A: Look, is this going to be about contacting me in any way about this or any other mod?

 

Q: No, I can't say it is.
A: Ah! Go on then.

 

Q: Thank you. What about making changes to some of the dialogue here?
A: You have got to be kidding me.

 

Q: No, I'm quite serious.
A: IN THE SUPPORT THREAD!

 

Q: There's no need to yell.
A: Apparently there is! The support thread! That's where comments and notifications and complaints and messages and suggestions and requests and compliments and discussions about the bloody weather go! In the support thread!

 

Q: How about...
A: Look, I've had just about enough of this. If you ask one more thing about this mod I'll bean you with a brick, see if I don't.

 

Q: I was just...
A: No! I don't want to hear it! Now... do you have anything else to say?

 

Q: Yes. I was wondering...
A: Yesssssssss?

 

Q: If I have a question about your Devious Manual mod, where should that question go?
A: ...

 

Q: Hello?
A: Your question about the Devious Manual should go in the Devious Manual's support thread.

 

Q: Aha! That last link was to this mod's support thread! Got you!
A: Fuck off.

 

 

 


What I have learned:
1. onEquipped() event is part of the object script, and not only for armors. Nice!
2. Dialogue emotion types need to be set higher than 50 to be visible. I'll get around to fixing it one of these days.

 

 

 

Changelog:

  • v1: Initial upload
  • v2: Added new dialogue to Kerah, Rustlief, and Seren.


  • Submitter
  • Submitted
    09/11/2015
  • Category
  • Requires
    Fuz ro d-oh, SKSE, Skyrim
  • Special Edition Compatible

 

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kinda gave it away with your first thanks, didn't you? also, next I want the book skit and, my all time favorite, the argument sketch. Plus "How Not to be Seen".

 

Guess I did at that, didn't I? Ah well. Nobody ever reads the OP anyway.

 

The Book Sketch is a good one - maybe Urag gro-Shub? Or is he too serious for such a thing?

Argument sketch... who's a good candidate?

 

I can't think of any way I could reasonably do "how not to be seen." Too bad...

Link to comment

how not to be seen could just be a scene, with an npc being the narrator. "This demonstrates the value of not being seen."

 

While I'm at it, I might as well add in a couple of my older ideas for vaguely humorous stuff too.

All dialogue, of course, because that's pretty much all I do.

Link to comment

File Name: Elrindir's Discount Magic Items v1 - September 12 2015

File Submitter: Content Consumer

File Submitted: 12 Sep 2015

File Category: Other

Requires: Fuz ro d-oh, SKSE, Skyrim

 

~snipy~

 

What I have learned:

1. onEquipped() event is part of the object script, and not only for armors. Nice!

2. Dialogue emotion types need to be set higher than 50 to be visible. I'll get around to fixing it one of these days.

download.png

Click here to download this file

 

I did not know No. 2 either, ... so what happens at say 40?

 

You forgot to add another FAQ

Q: Can I patch your mod?

Link to comment

So...if I'm understanding your FAQ correctly, I'm supposed to say something about the weather here. It's dark. Probably cloudy. It rained a lot yesterday, so it's probably still pretty wet.

 

Tonight's forecast: Dark. Continued mostly dark with some widely-scattered light in the morning.

 

thank you :shy: 

 

...You're welcome?

Glad you like it!

 

 

I did not know No. 2 either, ... so what happens at say 40?

 

You forgot to add another FAQ

Q: Can I patch your mod?

 

 

That's going in my FAQ.  :D

 

At 50, it's barely visible, at least as far as I can tell, bear in mind my eyes aren't perfect.

I seem to remember doing emotion in dialogue for a couple of topics in the Devious Manual, and I set it to around 60-80 depending on circumstances if I'm not mistaken.

 

Anything above 80 always seemed to do weird things to facial expressions, like raising the eyebrows through the forehead, or making cheeks look like lumpy jowls, that kind of thing.

I'm not sure what putting it to 40 would do. Probably nothing much, I imagine... isn't it a magnitude scale? I.E. 0 is nothing, 100 is maximum, 50 is default? I'd guess that at 40 it would look pretty much like "neutral" no matter what you put it at.

 

Not sure, though... if it's not magnitude, it's probably based on position or something. So "happy" at 50 looks sort of neutral, at 100 makes the smile wider than the actual face so it looks like the top half of the head is being cut off, and at 0 turns the mouth into a tiny dot reminiscent of a BESM character. Just a guess...

 

I normally just go for the default of Neutral at 50 because I'm too damn lazy to actually change it, and I figure with unvoiced dialogue people are going to be looking at the text more than the character's face.

 

But I've been told that emotion is more than just the face, it also determines posture and some idles, so I'm going to be doing emotion from now on in topics.

Link to comment

For the not seen.... how about the mage from the college who run's around thinking he's got the invisibility spell active?

 

Oh and I went ahead and gave it a 5 star, now I guess I need to install it.

 

Edit: now that I think about it...

Why not move all the skits to different instructors and workers at the college and rename the mod...

 

The College of Montey

 

Well anyway...

 

Oh add some Benny Hill type skits in the background (there should be enough females to have chasing around an old guy right?)...

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For the not seen.... how about the mage from the college who run's around thinking he's got the invisibility spell active?

 

Oh and I went ahead and gave it a 5 star, now I guess I need to install it.

 

Edit: now that I think about it...

Why not move all the skits to different instructors and workers at the college and rename the mod...

 

The College of Montey

 

Well anyway...

 

Oh add some Benny Hill type skits in the background (there should be enough females to have chasing around an old guy right?)...

 

I wonder if I can get Yakety Sax to play while doing it?  :lol:

 

Theres a bug in your mod, Elrindir has a spider name Gub following him what do???

 

I'll kill it with the mighty Daedric Artifact known as "Rettawsylf!"

 

 

Theres a bug in your mod, Elrindir has a spider name Gub following him what do???

I don't think that's from this mod. All this does is add dialogue and "magical" equipment.

 

 

Hey, why the quotes around "magical?" They are! All items guaranteed genuine magical equipment or double your money back!

Guarantee does not apply in or around Cyrodiil, Morrowind, Skyrim, High Rock, Hammerfell, Orsinium, Summerset, Valenwood, Elsweyr, Black Marsh, or anywhere in Akavir, Aldmeris, Atmora, Cathnoquey, Esroniet, Pyandonea, Roscrea, Thras, Yneslea, Yokuda, or anywhere in Aetherius. Some exclusions may apply. No exchanges allowed. If you contest these limitations you should be advised that we have a huge, bloodthirsty legal department that thrives on the pained screams of litigants.

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