Elrindir's Discount Magic Items v2 September 21 2015

There's not enough merriment in Skyrim. Sorry, Cicero doesn't count. Where's the funny stuff?
So here's this little thing. It's not exactly funny, but it can be mistaken for vaguely humorous in a dim light.

 

Description:
This mod adds some new dialogue to a couple of NPCs, and some new items too.

 

What magic turns cheese to wine?
Speak to Elrindir at the Drunken Huntsman in Whiterun.

 

Discount Magic Items!
Elrindir also has some nifty, oh-so-helpful gear for sale.

 

The Why Of Questing
Speak to Seren in Dawnstar. She may have a new quest for you. Or maybe not.

 

Serendipitous Silversmith Stupidity
Kerah of Markarth has a job for you.

 

This is one of those mods you install, try out, say "Huh!" to yourself, and uninstall to clear up space in your load order.
Give it ten minutes and hopefully it'll elicit a chuckle or two, and that's about it.

 

Requirements:
Fuz-Ro-D'oh and its own requirements (SKSE).
Oh, and Skyrim. In case you were confused.

 

Special thanks to:
Monty Python, for the cheese skit. And other skits.
Rich Berlew, for a more circumstantially appropriate end to the cheese skit.
Terry Pratchett, for CMOT Dibbler.
Docclox, for mistakenly referring to the Drunken Huntsman as a "pub" leading to the whole idea in the first place.
Jfraser and SkyrimLL for invaluable advice about how to use the CK without setting fire to the motherboard.
Jfraser, SkyrimLL, Jordisslave, and Thermius for testing out yet another one of my little peccadillos.
TES5Edit for being so much better than the CK at making seq files. I mean, seriously now.
Probably a couple of other people I've forgotten.

 

To-do list:
Eh, I dunno... not much, really.
Maybe go in and fix emotion levels.
I should really also add "not enough money" checks so you can't get away with getting items for free.
I also need to fix the scroll - missing a casting effect.
I should also add in an actual magic effect for the gauntlets. And the horn, and the wand, ring...
Add some more sketches! Why not?
Actually, I guess there's a sizeable list of things to do. And they will get done! Eventually. Some day.

 

Testimonials:
Apparently the thing to do these days is to put user testicles testimonials in the description page. So here are some glowing quotes about this and other Content Consumer mods:
The author must be barking mad. - Gilvas Barelo
So buggy you'd think you were in an anthill. - Caius Cosades
Meh. - Divayth Fyr
What is your damage? - Ruran Stoine
You should be ashamed of yourself. - Nevena Ules
After installing, computer grew arms and tried to strangle me. 0/10 stars, Would Not Recommend. - Raesa Pullia
Is this your first time at a keyboard? - Falura Llervu
I don't believe I've ever seen code this badly written. - Zabamund
Truly the greatest thing ever, and I am not getting paid to say this. Really. Honest. We done here? Good, now where's my money? - Danoso Andrano

 

FAQ:
Generally "FAQ" requires questions to be asked frequently. In this case, I'm trying to anticipate questions instead.

 

Q: I'm having a problem with this mod.
A: That is certainly possible. I'm a newb to modding. Leave a comment in the support thread and I'll get back to you. I can't guarantee I can fix a problem, but I'll do my best.

 

Q: I have a question about this or any other mod. Should I PM you?
A: No, please. Use the support thread. That's what it is there for.

 

Q: Your mod conflicts with <other mod>.
A: That is highly unlikely, although I suppose if anything does massive renovations to Elrindir it's certainly possible. In general, for stuff like this, put whichever one you want more lower on the list.

 

Q: Can I suggest <feature>?
A: Yes please! I can't guarantee the request will get into the mod, because as I've said I'm not very good at modding, but I'll certainly consider it!

 

Q: Where shall I contact you about adding in <feature>?
A: The support thread, please.

 

Q: Can I translate your mod?
A: Certainly! I didn't write it with any sort of translation in mind, though, and I do tend to use American English idioms and phrasing, so... good luck! Go ahead and post your translation in the support thread and I will link to it in the download page. If you do make a translation, be a lamb and either send me the file so I can upload it, or at least post a link so I can add it to the description.

 

Q: Can I or you upload this to another site?
A: I'd rather you didn't. If I want it uploaded elsewhere, I'll do so myself. Chances are this one will end up on Nexus at some point.

 

Q: Can I patch your mod?
A: I'd rather you didn't, if only because that'd make multiple versions sitting on the internet somewhere, and if I ever get bug reports or questions about it, tracking down which version is being talked about is a pain. Not to mention that a "patch" may well add stuff or remove stuff I don't want added or removed. In short... patch away if you wish, but don't post the patch if you please.

 

Q: I love this mod! How can I show my appreciation?
A: Leave me a "thank you" in the support thread, that'd be wonderful.

 

Q: I hate this mod, and I'd like to tell you why!
A: Sorry to hear that, but I'd be happy to hear your complaint. Leave it in the support thread.

 

Q: You do seem to be a bit obsessed with the support thread. Any particular reason?
A: I just feel that spending a PM on a simple suggestion, request, comment, or complaint is a bit outlandish. The support thread is there for a reason.

 

Q: Can I ask you about how you made this mod?
A: Yes you can.

 

Q: Where?
A: ...In the support thread.

 

Q: What about...
A: Look, is this going to be about contacting me in any way about this or any other mod?

 

Q: No, I can't say it is.
A: Ah! Go on then.

 

Q: Thank you. What about making changes to some of the dialogue here?
A: You have got to be kidding me.

 

Q: No, I'm quite serious.
A: IN THE SUPPORT THREAD!

 

Q: There's no need to yell.
A: Apparently there is! The support thread! That's where comments and notifications and complaints and messages and suggestions and requests and compliments and discussions about the bloody weather go! In the support thread!

 

Q: How about...
A: Look, I've had just about enough of this. If you ask one more thing about this mod I'll bean you with a brick, see if I don't.

 

Q: I was just...
A: No! I don't want to hear it! Now... do you have anything else to say?

 

Q: Yes. I was wondering...
A: Yesssssssss?

 

Q: If I have a question about your Devious Manual mod, where should that question go?
A: ...

 

Q: Hello?
A: Your question about the Devious Manual should go in the Devious Manual's support thread.

 

Q: Aha! That last link was to this mod's support thread! Got you!
A: Fuck off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Changelog:

• v1: Initial upload
• v2: Added new dialogue to Kerah, Rustlief, and Seren.