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A personal issue

Cpt_Cooky

By Cpt_Cooky,
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Guest endgameaddiction

Guest endgameaddiction

Posted
Posted

First of all, I doubt you are in love with your friend's girlfriend. Sounds to me you are obsessed with her and her qualities that makes her even more attractive. If it means not much to you jumping all over this girl, you need to call it off with your current girl friend before you really damage her.

 

Some real advice: I hope you aren't looking for anything serious with this female you are obsessed with. If she cheats on her man, she'll cheat on you.

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Kendo 2

Kendo 2

Posted
Posted

Hey all!

 

i done gone and lost my damn mind!! I gone n fallen for one my friend's girlfriends!! Hes been my friend for a month or so and then he went away for 3 months during which time I went and fell for his girlfriend. She gorgeous (like 9/10), owns her own business [based on her own personal interests, cute, smart, hot, intelligent, funny, fun, kind, loves animals, seriously shes like a fucking ad for a perfect girlfriend. Ive never seen a woman with such a perfect mix of personality and sex appeal. Shes driving me nuts. Like I want to beat my skull against a concrete wall when I see him(my friend) with her.

 

Help guys. I have a girlfriend and I do love her but Im in love with this other girl too!! What do I do!?!?! And for all the idealists in the audience... yes you can be in love with two women/people simultaneously. No, it isnt logical. Thats what makes it fucking torture!!! AHHH!!!!  

Mature thing to do:  Do nothing.  Acting on your base desire will hurt 4 people.  And if your current girl friend has seen you around this other girl then she already knows you're lusting after her.  Women can sense those things, she just hasn't said anything.  The girl you're lusting after probably knows too.  Men are not subtle and you're only fooling yourself if you think you're being slick and clever.

Selfish thing to do:  Go for it.  Break your girlfriend's heart, enrage your male friend and sleep with a girl who's morals allow her to cheat on her boyfriend.  I don't want a woman in my life like that and you don't either.

Option: Wait for them to break up and IF you are single too THEN you persue her.

Reality Check:  She's not 'perfect' and I can promise you some man somewhere is tired of her passive-aggressive woman bullshit.  So are you a grown up or a self-sabotaging selfish little kid?

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Sarathis

Sarathis

Posted
Posted

Short answer, bros before hos, man. Go get the other girl you're in love with.

???? Sounds like you're saying that friends are more important, and then you say go after your fiend's girlfriend.

 

You got the gist of it but didn't read the TC's entire post. He says in the second paragraph that he's in love with two girls, his friend's gf and some other woman. I'm saying he should leave his friend to his own happiness and go elsewhere for love. If he likes his friend and loves his friend's gf, then he should put their happiness before his own. ESPECIALLY if he already has someone else to love.

 

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Subject2Host

Subject2Host

Posted
Posted

Well, this is never an easy predicament. The best way to start is to assess pros and cons. There's always the fact that moving from a relationship with one girl to another might be an upgrade, but is there anything right off the bat you can say would be a good reason to leave whoever you're already with? If there isn't really anything apparent that you can say you don't like about them, my only suggestion to get out of it without being an asshole is to very slowly and cautiously spend less and less time with the person, so as to diminish their interest in you.

 

As for getting with a girl someone else is already in a relationship with, if the person they're with is going to or regularly spends very large amounts of time away from them, it could be as easy as asking your friend if they might be willing to let you have a shot at her, being that he hardly gets to manage his relationship. Of course, when doing that, you would need to appear very humble and serious in your approach. Don't go up to him saying, "Yo dawg, lemme get a taste of dat girl you got.". If he flat out says no, especially if it's in a rather mean way, you'll just have to forget about it unless something bad happens between them. If he doesn't flat out say no, but rejects in a hesitant way, accept that for now and let him think about it. Make sure of course to end the conversation with that sort of vibe. "Think about it, ok? I really like her.".

 

You could also try asking the girl herself, but in an indirect way. You could try asking how things are between her and your friend. That could provide incite on what you might be able to get away with.

 

Now, if you do actually manage to get with her, I'd also recommend not doing anything serious with her any time soon. Start with basic dates and having get-togethers to have fun. This'll also help those involved in this whole thing not go thinking, were they to hear about it somehow, that you might have wanted to get with her solely to suffice your "craziness". Even if she was single and you weren't in a relationship, I'd take it slow regardless. Relationships forged by lust are rarely long-lasting.


 

Short answer, bros before hos, man. Go get the other girl you're in love with.

???? Sounds like you're saying that friends are more important, and then you say go after your fiend's girlfriend.

 

You got the gist of it but didn't read the TC's entire post. He says in the second paragraph that he's in love with two girls, his friend's gf and some other woman. I'm saying he should leave his friend to his own happiness and go elsewhere for love. If he likes his friend and loves his friend's gf, then he should put their happiness before his own. ESPECIALLY if he already has someone else to love.
 

 

Alrighty, nvm. And I did read that. It's just you worded your sentence a little weird.

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Kendo 2

Kendo 2

Posted
Posted
 

And who knows? The girl the OP is praising may have evil intentions by leading him along.

You're a mysogynist.  Women don't have evil intentions.  It is always the guy's fault.  :P

 

Well, this is never an easy predicament. The best way to start is to assess pros and cons. 

There are no 'pros' to this situation.  It is NOT okay to have the morals of a monkey.

As for getting with a girl someone else is already in a relationship with, if the person they're with is going to or regularly spends very large amounts of time away from them, it could be as easy as asking your friend if they might be willing to let you have a shot at her, being that he hardly gets to manage his relationship. Of course, when doing that, you would need to appear very humble and serious in your approach. Don't go up to him saying, "Yo dawg, lemme get a taste of dat girl you got.". If he flat out says no, especially if it's in a rather mean way, you'll just have to forget about it unless something bad happens between them. If he doesn't flat out say no, but rejects in a hesitant way, accept that for now and let him think about it. Make sure of course to end the conversation with that sort of vibe. "Think about it, ok? I really like her.".

*cast self in role as boyfriend of the 'perfect' girl in question*

"Lemme get this straight.  Did you just ask me for PERMISSION NAIL MY GIRLFRIEND?  Are you fucking high?"

 
If a man said something like that to me (no matter how he phrased it) one of two things would happen;
#1.  if he has a little bit of size on him, someone is going to the hospital (him or me).  I don't know what world you live in but men don't say shit like that to one another without consequences.  'derp yur gurl is hawt' = getting your ass beat.
#2.  if he is a little Millennial douche who will file charges if anyone touches him then I'll call HIS girlfriend and let her know HER boyfriend just asked for permission to bang MY girlfriend... and then she can deal with it.
 
Either way, Romeo is gonna pay the piper.
 

You could also try asking the girl herself, but in an indirect way. 

Unhuh.  That's when she tells her boyfirend that his horndog buddy was prying.  (see #1 or # 2 above)  That's also when she calls the other girlfriend and drops Romeo in hot oil for a good frying...because that's what girls do.

 

That could provide incite on what you might be able to get away with.

"Get away with..."  Are you for fucking real?  Are you that much of a sociopath it's okay to give out advice like that?  You just tried to give the OP the OK to do what he thinks he wants to do and fuck the RL consequences.

There is an axiom in life, 'Do the right thing and if you can't the right thing do the next right thing.'  How would you feel if one of your friends was lusting after your girl and someone else gave him tips on how to seal the deal?  That's just what you did, and you suck.

 

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Faceless0ne

Faceless0ne

Posted
Posted

Hey all!

 

i done gone and lost my damn mind!! I gone n fallen for one my friend's girlfriends!! Hes been my friend for a month or so and then he went away for 3 months during which time I went and fell for his girlfriend. She gorgeous (like 9/10), owns her own business [based on her own personal interests, cute, smart, hot, intelligent, funny, fun, kind, loves animals, seriously shes like a fucking ad for a perfect girlfriend. Ive never seen a woman with such a perfect mix of personality and sex appeal. Shes driving me nuts. Like I want to beat my skull against a concrete wall when I see him(my friend) with her.

 

Help guys. I have a girlfriend and I do love her but Im in love with this other girl too!! What do I do!?!?! And for all the idealists in the audience... yes you can be in love with two women/people simultaneously. No, it isnt logical. Thats what makes it fucking torture!!! AHHH!!!!  

 

 

 

Love is just a cheat of nature to kickstart reproduction.

 

Most might view it cruel, but your inner animal is telling you (if that other girl is really that hot) that she's a better specimen than your current one.

 

So be like nature wants you to be or how society wants you to be.

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Kendo 2

Kendo 2

Posted
Posted

@ CptCooky

This is a prime opportunity for you to reconnect with your current girlfriend and stop your wandering eye.

 

Not a big deal for you:

*Buy her a CD of her favorite band and do a simple gift wrap.  "I was thinking about you."

*Send her a modest bouquet and make sure she gets it at work or where other girls can witness her getting it (so they can squeal and be girls and she will be the center of attention).  On the card just say 'Thinking about you.'

*Pay attention to her.

*Buy her a gift card for a full of session of pampering (massage, tanning, waxing, manicure, pedicure,ect.)

*Actually sit down and write her a letter with pen and paper.  (Electronic messages are just that, they are intangible.)

*Go with her and PAY for her hair cuts.

*The 'ambush buy'.  If she's looking at something in mall, BUY IT FOR HER (as long as it's not priced stupid).  The make up counter is solid gold.

 

Thought planning and cash:

*Buy her a $350.00 pair of posh earrings (chocolate pearls are nice) and simply give them to her without ceremony.  "I was thinking about you." and just hand her the box.

*Do your on-line research for dinner at a real restaruant that serves at least 5 courses (know what wine you'll be ordering for the meal!). Make the reservations for about 5 pm so you can avoid the lunch and dinner crowd.  Be sure to ask for a table away from the kitchen or bar (too much noise.)  Chances are you'll be one of the first tables the maître d' gets so be sure to slip him a crisp and neatly folded twenty.  If you bought her pearls, the pause after the main course and before desert IS the time to give them to her.

 

In other words, the stuff you wanna do with your friend's girlfriend you need to be doing with your own.  Stop tweaking and focus on what 's good, not what could be.

 

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legendarytoyou

legendarytoyou

Posted
Posted

I value loyalty above all else and surrendering to your desires is not only frowned on by me but a lot of people.  Take a cold shower, don't think about that other girl and focus on the girl who loves you.  Trust me that's something you don't want to lose because its rare.

 

Remember what Colonel Robert F. Sink said in Band of Brothers, "Remember boys, flies spread disease; so keep yours closed."

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