Jaded by the whole sex thing

[calranthe]

Fallout 3, Fallout NV, Oblivion and Skyrim, all of my games are corrupted beyond belief thanks to wonderful and creative people around here, I love the darker side the fantastical.

 

Why did this happen, when did certain dials get turned and the games became more fun and important in a sexual way than real life.

 

*registry messed up and is completely convinced at the moment that my FNV is in a directory it isn't so steam is re-installing and thus I have time on my hands*

 

At 26 I was a virgin, the right girl just had not come along, one night when I was not looking I met my future wife, we did all the normal things if seven times a day was normal we lived like there was no tomorrow, going out within minutes moved in within weeks and engaged within three months.

 

On that first night we shared and told each other all our deepest and darkest kinks spent 13 hours from 8pm to 9am talking it all out.

 

Even back then we both loved hentai bdsm D/s we explored it all, we both seemed to have a talent for it, we took in girls my wife being bisexual meant we got to share lots of fun, our bond was so great insecurity ego or jealousy never came in to it, over the next 17 years we looked after 178 girls, I can not say if I was a good Master because to me that title has no meaning beyond what the  girl I am looking after feels.

 

My wife got ill and so we cut down our play time, we still took in girls and looked after them, set ourselves a hard limit of two girls at a time.

 

At this moment some of you may be thinking bullshit, others thinking this sounds like a wet dream, this was way before D/s and bdsm became "fashionable".

 

The sex was great and it was not just sex we explored nearly every fetish and naughty fun kink, you could imagine.

 

Being a so called Master or Dominant is really hard work, it will burn you out, I doubt there is actually more than 100 people in this world who should be doing that roll no matter how many play at it.

 

Or should I say to be a good Dominant, you see when a girl or boy comes to you, then you need to realize what you are getting in to this human being is gifting you with there life, another human being is offering herself to you beyond love beyond the vows of a wedding this person becomes yours it should humble you, you should be honored by this priceless gift.

 

I have taken completely broken girls and taught them who they really are, helped girls get through college and university so then comes the test of you of the metal that makes you.

 

Absolute power over another human being can be the most addictive drug you will ever taste but yes you are tested, that moment when after six or 12 months when you have helped her to become who she should be, you could keep her a willing slave who will do everything you ask nothing will be denied or do you ask that question once again what is best for her, to release her and watch as she leaves on a plane to a new job or life  knowing she is protected and safe.

 

I have very few regrets and those are out weighed by the many joys.

 

If I was to name one it would be how much I learned about myself while looking after a true pain slut, that is not a derogatory title it is one she gave herself, beyond bdsm there is some rare few who reach pure bliss from pain who can take far more than anyone else, I broke  five canes, three paddles and killed four hand made heavy leather whips over 18 months, we could go for a two hour session sweat dripping of both our bodies and the next morning hardly a mark on her, her skins regenerative ability was amazing she used to pout and sulk at work the following week if the hidden marks were fading.

 

I finally found her limit though see she had darker fantasies than most involving being stabbed and beaten she was also a stable human being this was not to do with a past hurt or self loathing it was just part of who she was, well I wasn't about to actually do real harm to someone but I had been practicing erotic hypnosis for two years so with her permission I tried something special, it came down to this anything I said with a certain code word (safe guards in place) her mind would 100% believe was real, the first time I ran my finger down her arm and she could actually feel the skin burning as if I was using a hot poker and when I touched her stomach she felt what it was like to be stabbed, lets just say her curiosity was stated.

 

42 years old now and this last year I said goodbye to the last girl we were looking after, the whole scene with all the "players" these days pisses us both off way too much to be involved anymore.

 

We still give advice and help out on a couple of forums or yahoo but things change.

 

As my wifes illness got worse my focus shifted towards less time consuming interests, one of the most fun things we do now is, I will take over her pc and she mine, then we will mod each others bethesda games with a particular kink or darkness and suprise each other.

 

It can be a lot of fun to log on to your game load up your favourite char doing quests and have weird and wonderful things happen that you had no planning involvement in.

 

So has anyone else had experiences like this ?