thorinx Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I'm sure, since this is my second bite at the apple, I will get flamed off this site for this rant, and have my membership revoked, but at this point I’m totally prepared for that eventuality. Let me start out by saying I’m a tourist. I’m a visitor who’s read hundreds of thousands of words. Checked thousands of threads. But I am in no way a contributor. So this perspective comes from the “Other”. So, here goes. Are there, in fact, ANY steamy, sexy, romantic, Skyrim mods that I can download on (or via) Lovers Lab? You know a quest? Or maybe a complex companion? A mod with any saucy fun in it? With dirty content? Some kind of sexy porn time adventure? Is there even one? Here’s why I ask, I’ve been coming here for a little over a year, and I have never, not once, found a mod I wanted to download at this site. When I first started coming I would check every 8 hours or so, like I would Skyrim Nexus and other sites, thinking holy Fuck Nugget look at all the crazy shit these guys are making over here. It is going to be Skyrim porn Nirvana. Then I noticed the programmers and artists, who would actually have to make this shit, would quickly douse us in nipple freezing ice baths of reality. The frenzied mod descriptions began to sound premature at best and pure fantasy at worst. Programmers intoned things like, "Bethesda this, and development time that. Animation engines… and all new architecture. Standards have to be set. And development tools aren’t even released yet." So I settled into checking back once every two weeks. Then once a month. And now less. Much much less. But at this point in time, Bethesda has finished their game. Lots of development tools are done. SKSE, Fores New Idols, MCM and other tools are proliferating and in fact most are old news. The body mods and beautification mods are in gold master as far as I’m concerned (that’s you Caliente), and yet where are those saucy mods I was hoping for? Perhaps I should back up a little bit, before I throw my nuts completely into this meat grinder. Personally, a lot of what is discussed on Lovers Lab is not really my thing. I don’t want a crossbow that shoots bolts with bondage collars, so I can reel in some screaming fish merchant, and skull fuck her while she sobs for mercy. Nor do I want finishing moves that allow me to do the flying butt scissors, soaring across a dungeon where I will land balls deep in a werewolf’s ass, and then, presumably, fuck it to death. And I especially don’t want a cowboy hat that I can flap around over my head, whilst yipping, and riding a wooly mammoth with its trunk trumpeting the Skyrim theme song even though it is shoved entirely up my ass. Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy hundreds of thousands of words have been typed describing things like this in semen drenched detail in every corner of Lovers Lab. And God bless every rumination of Lactating Mammary Monsters. Milk Squirting explained in minute (sublime) detail. How moo-sauce should dribble forth from every crack and cranny of Whiterun covering us all in creamy goodness, whilst bowlegged Vagina-SaurusRex Creatures (with super real pubic hair) might stampede the countryside with zeppelin shaped boobies, rattling the earth as they go, begging players to fly through the air and land balls deep in their assholes. (Phew… That was probably the greatest paragraph I’ve ever typed.) Alas, that is not really what I’m into. I just want some sexy quests. What I’m after is some naughty/romantic content. You know, sexy themes, a dirty rendezvous, some expanded marriage functionality (so sneaking out and getting some on the side feels kind of raunchy). Being relatively fetishless a hetro male (I know, woefully inadequate imagination), I want some hot chicks talking dirty to me, and looking slutty. But I also want some girls who play hard to get. And make me work for their affections. In short, I want some quests (limited ones would be fine). I want some hot companions that make me work hard to get their jeans off (voice acting optional but preferred). That’s what I want from sexy quests. That’s my thing. I would point out that there are basically 0 sexy quests and companions getting created on this site catering to my tastes. But I would also note, that there is exactly 0 getting created to anyone’s taste either. To give an idea of the kind of thing I’m talking about, think Lylvieve Sisters. http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/mods/15680/? For me, this Mod is basically perfect. Hot chicks, racy story, a little questing. Sure its buggy as fuck, and it’s not part of a Marriage story or Companion Story. But it was made more than a year ago. It was abandoned more than 6 months ago. I’ve never seen a good sexy story or companion mod on this website that came close to this one. It’s hard for me to process that the best (only) sexy Skyrim mod I’ve ever seen is a little talked about, never recommended, abandoned mod on Skyrim Nexus. Certainly not something I can click on the front page of Lovers Lab, (Because there is no such thing as a front page on Lovers Lab). Which brings me back to my original question, are there any sexy story mods on Lover’s Lab? Is there even one? And if the answer is “YES, there is.” Can someone please tell me where to look? Where is that magical place where the following useful information (and nothing more) is prominently displayed (not buried in some 45 page thread) with clickable links (preferably with pictures) that goes a little something like this: Dark Daedric Romance: Learn of Heinsker's brutal past at the hands of cruel temple folk. Uncover why he lashes himself to sleep after a nightmarish teen imprisonment in Daedric Hell Hole. Convince him to trust you. Then convince him to shave. And if you’re lucky you’ll mend his broken soul and he’ll buttfuck you behind Jorrvaskr. To Dowload Click Here. Futinari Strap On: Play a female character and use your magic ding dong like you were born male at character creation. To Dowload Click Here. Saucy Ysolde: New quest line where you gather sexy-time toys and clothes as you try to convince Ysolde it’s not the Meat it’s the Motion. A lot of motion. Sideways motion. To Dowload Click Here. Mammoth Balls: Make your balls into Mammoth Balls. Huge! Fuzzy! Huggable! Works in Wear Bear form as well! To Dowload Click Here. I know there is a Skyrim Adult Download section. Its called: Downloads - Skyrim Adult & Sex Mods But I’ve never found anything to download. I’ve waded through thousands of cum filled, diddle worthy descriptions of labia shape and high resolution pubic hair (fffttt something in my teeth). I have found a few nice pics of armor I’ve already downloaded off the Nexus or elsewhere. I’ve seen some strap on retextures and the like, but otherwise I have NEVER found a single sexy time story or companion mod to download. Nor a magical “DOWNLOAD SECTION” which shows anything worth downloading, for instance: NUTROCKET: Use your Schlong (or Futinari Strap On) as a crossbow. Shoot Jizz Javalins! To Dowload Click Here. Don’t get me wrong. I know there are serious people who are working seriously hard on some super serious architecture that will be the bedrock for our SkyPornTropolis of tomorrow. But I’m pretty sure that is years from now. I’m equally sure that helping out with “Pre Alpha testing on Queef Grenade with Pheromone Shrapnel,” which make everyone in blast distance suddenly strip naked and bum rush every man, woman and donkey in sight, with the express purpose of fucking them to death, will indeed someday be a brick in the road to a dream we all share. But for fucks sake, can I get me a porn mod on Lover’s Lab or not? Now, I assume most will say, “Well we have to get the sex animations animated and working in our framework, before we can make any fun sexy mods.” Honestly, the 3D sex is the final pay off to a good story or companion mod. When the (lame) 3D sex animations start, you know the fun part is prolly in the past. Not that I want to miss a little 3D Anal Pot Stirring mind you, but I can live without it, (or if I’m suffering from poor impulse control I can go scurrying off to Reddit as needed). A year ago we (The entire mod consuming community) had one great (fade to black) naughty mod to download, Lylvieve Sisters. ONE. In the last year? None. Personally, I’d be fucking overjoyed to have 10 naughty quests that fade to black and I use my own imagination, (And Reddit) rather than wait another year or 5 for what I imagine will be clunky chunky robotic sex animations when they do finally arrive. And fuck it, if modders are worried about this, I’m sure we can strip out the fade to black THEN, and slap on some visual porn when the SkyPornTropolis tech is available for Christ’s sakes. Come on folks, let’s make some sex stories. Ok. So there it is. I put my nuts in the meat grinder. Tell me what a fucking uninformed idiot I am. And how ungrateful I am to the titans Building SkyPornTropoils. I understand. SkyPornTropolis sounds like a wonderful endeavor. There would be awesome marriage functionality and quests. Slut hot Companions with orbital quests that make me feel ashamed of the hair on my palms. I can just picture the animations… Donkey Punch with a side of eyes zooming out of their sockets. Wind milling titties. Weeping girls choking on my piglet in a blanket. And who knows what the fuck else. But imagine, if this site had a decent front page where we could click to download a naughty mod say once a month? If there where a place worth clicking, I might even click some dark-ass shit I’d never planned to enjoy, but can't stop myself from clicking. A single Mod you script could turn me, (meat and potatoes me), on to things I'd never believed erotic. Perhaps some brilliant quest mod with fantastic writing and sexy psychology, could make me find themes I don’t even currently like, downright tantalizing. BDSM. Bestiality. Slavery. Cow Girls & Milk Maids, to name a few. Who knows, some brilliant mod writer might even make into a fetishist. (Can you say Extra Knuckle on her Big Toe, Baby!) I can only dream. But, if I’m going to be honest, It’s far more likely that there will never be a front page on Lover's Lab. Its far more likely that there will never be anything worth clicking. And I will eventually just stop checking Lovers Lab, stop playing Skyrim altogether and never see any of the porn-tastic content Lover’s Labbers constantly dream about (and type about) making someday. I’m confident I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’m also sure I’m not the only one drifting away from this site because there is nothing, (no matter how much easier these technologies are to work with.) worth clicking on at Lovers Lab. (Who knows, I might even stir up a useful conversation before I get flamed off for good that the site developers will consider creating a front page Download Mod section for this site like Nexus or other mod download sites some day, and put it front and center so that visitors, like me, start enjoying the fruits of these modders labors. Allowing tourists to download like fucking crazy the stuff that’s getting made here.)\
gregathit Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 You had your answer from members, contributors, moderators and even the site owner in your last thread and yet you post the same idiotic flame baiting bullshit again? Which part of get off your ass and contribute do you not get? You want stuff but are not willing to participate in making it, so stop with the wall of texts already as no one gives a shit. Yes, there are a few valid points in your massive rant, but WTF do you think all the flame bullshit you tacked on does to help your case? Find a way to help or you are just part of the problem. Thread Locked.
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