Aithne's Story part 62 - The Steadfast Servant
Aithne came to her senses some unknown time later to the smell of tea. Jazbay, her favorite. She peeked up to find Merks sitting in silence across from her, a teapot and cups placed neatly on the table between them. As she sniffed and lifted her head, Merks picked up the teapot and poured some into the cup nearest her. His mind was a maze of emotions but Aithne blocked them out β she did not want to know what he was thinking.
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He had already proven to be the only one in this new reality to have any concern for her at all, and, it turned out, he was really good at his self-proclaimed job as her servant; he always seemed to show up with exactly what she needed when she needed it. He never pushed, rarely spoke, and left her alone when his task was complete. Whatever supernatural linchpin has colored his youth, it had made irrevocable changes to the man he turned out to be. Although βmanβ was pushing it β he had been twenty-five when Aithne had, in her arrogance, killed everyone, which meant he would only be eighteen or nineteen now.
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Aithne sighed as she sat back and sipped the tea (lightly honeyed to the exact amount she liked. The bastard.) and studied the man-child. He did not meet her eyes, keeping his studiously on the table, as if he sensed her deep loathing of other-him.
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βDo you happen to know where Soren is right now?β
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Merks blinked and glanced up, then dropped his gaze again as he ran a hand through his hair. βHe always sups on the roof above his suite at this time of day, my Lady.β
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βDoes he then? Does he take his time?β
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βWhen the weather is good, yes, my Lady. A couple hours, at least.β
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βGood to hear.β Aithne set her cup on its saucer and scrubbed a hand over her still-swollen face. βI am going to pay his room a little visit β there is a book there that I need β then I am leaving the college.β
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Merks sat up with a motion abrupt enough that it caused the table to shake. Tea sloshed out of the cups, but he didnβt seem to notice. βLeaving, my Lady? Iβll go with you!β
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βNo, you need to continue your studies. We talked about this.β
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βButβ¦then who will be your escort?β
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Aithne frowned. βEscort? I donβt need an escort.β
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βBut you do, my Lady. Itβs the law.β
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βIβ¦β Aithne blinked. βWhat? What law?β
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This seemed to give Merks momentary pause, but then he shrugged. βThe law that says women must have a male escort outside of cities and towns.β
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βWHAT?!β
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Merks cringed back but continued, βIt was put in place right after the civil war started. Toβ¦protect them. Women. Fromβ¦β he gestured, but he didnβt need to continue β who knew better than Aithne what could happen to a lone woman?
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Still.
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βThis is some oxshit.β
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βYes, my Lady.β Merksβ head resumed its bowed position. βItβ¦it wasnβt meant for women likeβ¦well, like you. Of course. Butβ¦β
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Aithne sighed and considered her options. Assuming they would check for these things at the city gates, she could forgo the inspections and questions by simply flying into the middle of town. But that would attract a lot of attention she didnβt really want. Besides, the college had a strict rule about flying (or any other flashy spells) in cities β they were still mired in bad publicity from the quake that had destroyed most of the town of Winterhold.
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Of course, she wasnβt really part of the college.
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Still.
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βHow is your flying?β
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Merks looked taken aback, and she could sense the spike of surprise and, more concerning, fear that shot through him. βIβ¦β
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He reddened and Aithne frowned and opened her mind to his for just enough of a peek to discover, βYouβre afraid of heights?!β
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Merks gasped as Aithne bit her tongue while just managing not to cover her mouth with her hand.
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βHowβ¦how didβ¦β
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Aithne shook her head, stalling as her mind raced, but settled on the only answer she could think of. βI just guessed. From your reaction.β A pause as her brain caught up. βMost students love flying, donβt they?β
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Merks had been fearless, and the best flyer in the school, including the teachers, last time. What could have happened to make him hate it now?
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βItβsβ¦Iβm sorry, I know itβs strange. Iβ¦β He paused, then gathered himself and spoke in quick bursts, as if that would make his confession easier. βI have a recurring nightmare. Iβve had it as long as I can remember, even longer thanβ¦than my visions of you. It is strange, because in the dream I am on top of this very building. But I didnβt come here until I was five.
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βIt is this building, I swear it, onlyβ¦it is different. It has taken massive damage. Most of the observation deck isβ¦just gone. I am standing on the edge of what remains of the deck, overlooking the ocean. I am looking forβ¦something, but I donβt know what. Then there is a giant boom and everything turns bright white, so bright I canβt even see.
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βWhen I can see again, Iβ¦β He stopped, took a deep breath. His face had turned pale, nearly stark white. ββ¦When I can see again, what I see are the rocks at the base of the college. I have two, maybe three seconds to watch them rush toward me and thenβ¦β
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A pause and Aithne found she was holding her breath. She forced it out, then squeaked, βAnd then?β
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Merks shrugged. βI wake up screaming. It is the exact same every time.β
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They sat in silence for a long time as guilt and anguish took turns rolling through her body. Merks remembered, at least a little, the destruction of the college. He just didnβt know that she had been responsible for it. She, supposed Archmage, supposed dragon slayer, supposed protector. She, who had failed and doomed him, along with the rest of those under her care.
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She took a deep, unsteady breath and forced herself to hold back her tears this time. She did not deserve grief. She had not earned the right to mourn. It took her several breaths before she was able to speak in a calm voice.
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βVery well. We shall go together. I donβt suppose you have access to horses? I thought not. Pity.β She sighed and stood. βGather what you need and meet me on the dueling pitch in an hour.β He nodded as he stood up as well and began gathering the tea set. Aithne began to step around him, but paused and added, βAnd stop looking at the ground when youβre around me. You arenβt some peasant groveling before a Lord. If weβre going to travel together, weβre doing it asβ¦β
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She paused. As what? Not as a couple, obviously. As equals? But he insisted on the servant role, so that didnβt really fit. As friends?
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Divines, no.
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ββ¦as people. Regular people. Understood?β
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Merks nodded, eyes still on the floor, then, at an Urag-like growl from Aithne, lifted his head and nodded again. βYes. I understand, my Lady. Iβ¦thank you.β
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She nodded as she resumed her path toward the door, then remembered the Archmage and, instead of walking, made the gestures while picturing his room and, with a flash, she was there.
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βSee, my love?β She mumbled as she hurried to the bookshelves and started yanking down books. βHis wards are terrible.β
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Moments later, arms loaded, she blinked into Urag (and, apparently, Coletteβs) suite, dropped off all but two of the books by his (and, apparently, Coletteβs) bed, then blinked back to her suite and starting stuffing things in her bag. She would have liked to study some more β there were so many things she still did not know! β but she just couldnβt be here. Not when Urag was so close by.
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But, no, that was not correct. He was not close by. Not her Urag. Every time she saw thisβ¦this caricature of her lost love, a small piece of her soul snapped off and shattered, never to be recovered. In time, she would be just as lost as she had been under Borkulβs heavy thumb.
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Or, rather, dick. Although, come to think of it, his massive thumbs had rather resembled somewhat askew dicks. Aithne laughed at a sudden vision of Borkul waving hands lined with flaccid dicks.
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Then a sigh as she shoved the last book into the bag, covered it with a spare shirt, and tied the bag closed. She hated to leave what she had long considered home, but she just couldnβt be here.
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Not when Urag was so far away.
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Edited by jfraser
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