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Discovery

hana120

Entry posted by hana120 in Discovering an unknown world

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Part 1

 

What can two women from a distant country and another time do? ....

 

.... in a modern, futuristic city...

 

of a modern age.....

 

... especially for two women with atypical looks and incredible physiques...

 

 

 

 

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.... the two women chose a strange place to rest....

 

 

 

...two men behind them were watching and talking about them....

 

...maybe the beginning of an adventure....

 

 

what the future holds for them.... and especially these two men....

 

 

 

...will the beautiful and cute Azurie end up in bed with one of these men...

 

 

 

...she who has always been able to resist men and push back their advances...

 

 

 

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.... There's nothing like a nice quiet restaurant to recover from your emotions...

 

 

 

.... friends talk about Skyrim again....

 

 

 

and especially this strange world....

 

 

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Azurie...have you ever thought about being in bed with a man?

 

 


.... no...I don't want to think about that kind of thing ....
it's disgusting ....

 

 


I see ... men must have had countless spleens with you *slightly laughs*.

 

 


.... yes

Edited by hana120

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GusCrow

GusCrow

Posted

Nice blog, Hana.

 

My feedback:

Try to write less in each balloon and bigger. So it's easier to read. Also choose smoother colors with good contrast for the dialogues.
For me when a story have too much text, becomes boring. So the text is important but not exaggerated like a book :D

Good luck and thanks for share your perv adventures.

hana120

hana120

Posted

17 minutes ago, GusCrow said:

Nice blog, Hana.

 

My feedback:

Try to write less in each balloon and bigger. So it's easier to read. Also choose smoother colors with good contrast for the dialogues.
For me when a story have too much text, becomes boring. So the text is important but not exaggerated like a book :D

Good luck and thanks for share your perv adventures.

Haha. Thank you.
Where did you say it was a pervert's adventure? ?
Just kidding. ?
In the next two chapters, it's going to get a lot more serious.
Thanks for the advice. I'd do less text in the bubbles and a bit more text outside the pictures. 
So people can still understand what's going on.
And I would choose better colours.
I had chosen purple/pink at first to match Rayya and Azurie.
But I'd go for something else .... less flashy.

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