Hello everyone! I have made an adult VN

[GibbyGiblet]

 

Welcome to my game: LOST FAMILY!

After subscribing to many high profile adult games and waiting for the next release(s)
all I have felt was disappointment. The love i saw from the game(s)
then turned into a cash grab with little to no content on further releases.
So naturally, I decided to self-teach myself to make an adult game.
(Just boring background of me!)

 

You are a 21 year old who of no fault of his own, get's thrown into a Post-apocalyptic world.

Now, you have a choice as a player;

 

Do you want to uphold the old world beliefs and moralities?

OR
Do you want to conform and adapt to the harsh world you are now in?

The choice is yours!

 

The game will have plenty of moral choices which as a player, will have you questioning yourself.
You are free to do what you want in the game as the game will evolve with you!

If you decide you want to pirate the paid builds of the game until you feel
satisfied i really don't mind!

 

I understand asking for peoples hard earned money is asking alot!

All i ask is that if you think my game deserves backing. please,
show me some support and back me!

 

The first build is now available on my patreon along with screenshots and more information.

You can find that on:

 

Domination anal lesbian voyeurism exhibitionism group sex (MMF, MFF and more) BDSM (spanking, bondage, etc)

 

https://www.patreon.com/GibbyGiblet

 

CHECK IT OUT!

 

Sorry, if i don't reply straight away. Working solo!

 

Thank you,

Gibby.

[Bobster6]

Don't usually try first releases but had nothing better to do, and I do like the post apocalyptic theme.

 

Spoiler

First, I will commend you for at least using decent grammar and spelling.

 

But your storytelling... you took way too much time trying to introduce the characters. I was bored and felt that the MC contradicted himself a few times. The premise that your father left the family without support is not possible in the western world. It pushed the believability factor pretty low, and all the time spent discussing the issue in the story was unnecessary. Your family members are straight out of the porn game tropes list. Naive younger sister, bitchy older sister, and a somehow way too young and hot mother.  And in the final scene of the intro when it goes to black it seems like your mother is being raped by someone? Yeah, this doesn't seem like something I want to come back to.

 

Your renders are generally serviceable but the scenes are rather bland. The mother and older daughter look fine, but the younger daughter's eyes make her look like an ugly alien.

 

I don't want to discourage you from continuing your story but you should edit the introduction story. There is an adage in writing that "Less is More". And I really suggest you redesign the younger sister,

 

[BeWilder]

Hi there.

 

Good for you in taking up a project for yourself. Nice to see that kind of drive in people.

 

I think Bobster6 has made some good points, especially about the trope characters, but nothing that can't be improved as you go. I would recommend like he did to make sure you're characters stand out beyond those flat archetypes. People always say "I will" or "they will become really unique in time" but it usually is little more than a pleasantry and little else. You really do have to work at it to make it happen so please do. And on that point, while time spent with them does indeed help progress them, there is plenty that can be done in the short term to make sure they do stand out.... otherwise people might just not invest the time, you know? Contrary to Bobster6's opinion however, I quite like the design of the characters, particularly the older sister. The younger one could use a touch up around the face, maybe, but I don't think a total redesign is needed. That's my opinion on the matter anyway.

As for that point about the ending... what can I say? Rape is rape... it's certainly not my thing but some people may like it. You'd be better off marking that as in the game, even if it is avoidable (I'd make it that way if I were you but I am not you so it's really your choice), so people know what they are getting into. Anything else on that topic I'm not getting into today.

All in all, its a nice try and I hope you keep at it. These things can be a constant effort to make and keep a modicum of quality but I can tell you from experience it is also just as rewarding when you get each release out. I'll keep an eye on this form time to time and if you can keep it going and make improvements when needed, I think you can have something to be proud of in due time.

All the best man,

 

-beWilder