[WIP] SexLab Stories Rumors

[Zydar]

Hey, I got an idea! How about a crazy NPC that spoofs various shortcomings of Skyrim and it's sex mods in the vein of M'aiq the Liar? I think this community is self-aware enough to have a laugh at itself

 

Ideas:

"Some say working at an inn can lead to slavery. I've worked various inns for years and nothing like that happened."

"I was enslaved once. It was pretty boring, just sex and whippings. And sometimes dancing." 

"So many people have slaves these days. I tried having a few of my own, but it never quite worked out."

"I heard there was a whole guild of slavers somewhere in Skyrim, but I could never find them."

"Romance is overrated. If you want to have sex with someone, you just tell him so. Or maybe wait until he rapes you..."

"Many people threaten to enslave me. I submitted to some of them, but they always say they need more time to figure things out first."

"Want to look young? Cover as much skin as you can! All these old people in the cities still look eighteen years old under their clothes. Must be something in the air..."

"You'd think having sex is simple, but you'd be surprised how hard it is for some men to put their cock in the right place..."

 

Or have it as part of M'aiq the Liar's line? I'm already reading your ideas in his voice and speech so might as well lol

 

[DeepBlueFrog]

 

Hey, I got an idea! How about a crazy NPC that spoofs various shortcomings of Skyrim and it's sex mods in the vein of M'aiq the Liar? I think this community is self-aware enough to have a laugh at itself

 

Ideas:

"Some say working at an inn can lead to slavery. I've worked various inns for years and nothing like that happened."

"I was enslaved once. It was pretty boring, just sex and whippings. And sometimes dancing." 

"So many people have slaves these days. I tried having a few of my own, but it never quite worked out."

"I heard there was a whole guild of slavers somewhere in Skyrim, but I could never find them."

"Romance is overrated. If you want to have sex with someone, you just tell him so. Or maybe wait until he rapes you..."

"Many people threaten to enslave me. I submitted to some of them, but they always say they need more time to figure things out first."

"Want to look young? Cover as much skin as you can! All these old people in the cities still look eighteen years old under their clothes. Must be something in the air..."

"You'd think having sex is simple, but you'd be surprised how hard it is for some men to put their cock in the right place..."

 

Or have it as part of M'aiq the Liar's line? I'm already reading your ideas in his voice and speech so might as well lol

 

 

 

I started adding them to Stories, with conditions depending on faction, location, gender and so on.

 

I can try to reserve some of the most quirky comments to M'aiq only.

 

All comments will appear under a dedicated topic: Have you heard of any good stories recently?

 

They don't do anything really except adding some lore and flavor.

[threeddd33]

 

 

Hey, I got an idea! How about a crazy NPC that spoofs various shortcomings of Skyrim and it's sex mods in the vein of M'aiq the Liar? I think this community is self-aware enough to have a laugh at itself

 

Ideas:

"Some say working at an inn can lead to slavery. I've worked various inns for years and nothing like that happened."

"I was enslaved once. It was pretty boring, just sex and whippings. And sometimes dancing." 

"So many people have slaves these days. I tried having a few of my own, but it never quite worked out."

"I heard there was a whole guild of slavers somewhere in Skyrim, but I could never find them."

"Romance is overrated. If you want to have sex with someone, you just tell him so. Or maybe wait until he rapes you..."

"Many people threaten to enslave me. I submitted to some of them, but they always say they need more time to figure things out first."

"Want to look young? Cover as much skin as you can! All these old people in the cities still look eighteen years old under their clothes. Must be something in the air..."

"You'd think having sex is simple, but you'd be surprised how hard it is for some men to put their cock in the right place..."

 

Or have it as part of M'aiq the Liar's line? I'm already reading your ideas in his voice and speech so might as well lol

 

 

 

I started adding them to Stories, with conditions depending on faction, location, gender and so on.

 

I can try to reserve some of the most quirky comments to M'aiq only.

 

All comments will appear under a dedicated topic: Have you heard of any good stories recently?

 

They don't do anything really except adding some lore and flavor.

 

 

These were some ideas from last year for having a standup comedian(s) (vaudvilleian) in the various taverns, but it could still work in this rumors mod.  They could be expanded to cover rumors on PC or NPC kinks I guess.... these were more for the prostitution mod.

 

Rodney Drugarfield:  "Hey I'm not saying this Dragonborn is vain, but she does remind me of my wife.  When we make love she calls out her own name!"

 

Local Bard on the drums:  <<bdrmmmmtssss>>

 

Rodney Drugarfield: "The Dragonborn said she wanted to give her husband a good time the other night.... she gave him a coupon for 10% off."

 

Local Bard on the drums:  <<bdrmmmmtssss>>

 

Rodney Drugarfield: "Nah... who am I kidding, everyone in Riften loves the Dragonborn....  as soon as they rob a rich merchant."

 

Local Bard on the drums:  <<bdrmmmmtssss>>

 

Rodney Drugarfield: "You know,  recently the Dragonborn invented a brand new Shout.....  Next!"

 

Local Bard on the drums:  <<bdrmmmmtssss>>

 

Rodney Drugarfield: "That room upstairs is like the local outhouse... if you want your turn you need to knock on the door and holler, 'Hey buddy, did you fall in in there?""

 

Local Bard on the drums:  <<bdrmmmmtssss>>

 

[pinky6225]

Any chance you could change the "I've a bad feeling about this" follower dialogue they say about deep and dark places if you bang them in the deep and dark place

[DeepBlueFrog]

Thanks again for all the suggestions!

 

Edit: I am about 3/4 done adding most of these to Stories. They go a long way to give the mod its name.

 

If you want to participate, these are topics that have not been covered yet.

 

- Defeat / submit 
- SD/Slave trade
- Milking 
- Pregnancy
- Dragons (for Sexlab Amorous Adventures)
- Werevolves
- Civil War
- Thalmors
- Nords
- Imperials
- Bretons
- Orcs
- Redguards
- High elves
- Wood elves
- Dark elves
- Companions
- Vigilants
- Priests
- Grey Beards

 

[carnifex]

Werewolves/Companions:

-Last night, I swear I heard howling and screaming from around Jorrvaskr. The morning after, I've found this Aela lass passed out, naked and stinking like a wet dog. Don't let her hear it, but I think she likes dogs way too much...

-Be wary of the werewolves lurking in the wilds, for they are as lustful as they are bloodthirsty. You'd do wise to hire a strong warrior, like one of the Companions, to protect yourself in the forests.

-You can see Aela and Skjor sneaking out of town almost every night. Guess they like having their fun in the wilderness, if you know what I mean...

-I've heard that werewolves are constantly horny. Those you can find lurking the woods are the ones whose minds snapped from the never-ending lust.

 

Greybeards:

-I wonder if Ulfric really loves Talos so much, or if he left High Hrothgar because one of the monks took a special liking to him, if you know what I mean...

-Ever wonder about them Greybeards? A couple old men holed up in a giant castle, almost no visitors... they must really miss a good shag.

-Many people across Skyrim donate food to the Greybeards... If I was one of them, locked in this monastery with only other wrinkled old men, I'd appreciate it if someone donated a whore once in a while.

 

Vigilants:

-Not so long, Vigilants weren't just content to catch Daedra worshipers, they would also parade them naked and restrained around all Skyrim. Where's the mercy of Stendarr in that?

-Be careful around them Vigilants of Stendarr. It's easy enough to accuse someone of Daedra worship, and I'm sure many of them wouldn't mind "interrogating" a fine girl like yourself.

 

Thalmor:

-I don't believe the elves would make such a ruckus over which gods we worship. This frail, ugly bunch is making an excuse for capturing young, hale Nords of all stripes for "entertainment", if you ask me.

[DeepBlueFrog]

Thanks!

 

I added them.

 

 

[dominozx]

Thanks!

 

I added them.

I was wondering when you plan to release it ?;p 

[nameless701]

 

Thanks!

 

I added them.

I was wondering when you plan to release it ?;p 

 

 

When it is done

[DeepBlueFrog]

 

 

Thanks!

 

I added them.

I was wondering when you plan to release it ?;p 

 

 

When it is done

 

 

 

Soon... I still have some dialogues to add to E.L.L.E and maybe some updates to the Milk Farm.

[dominozx]

 

 

 

Thanks!

 

I added them.

I was wondering when you plan to release it ?;p 

 

 

When it is done

 

 

 

Soon... I still have some dialogues to add to E.L.L.E and maybe some updates to the Milk Farm.

 

Nice!! im waiting so bad for this haha ;p

[Saeros]

so, I'm having fun with PSQ (Player Succubus Quest) by ojanen

The mod gives you the chance to become a succubus and it's great! what I wanted for my female character.

 

The only "problem" I found is the lack of a story.. to become Succubus, just press a button in MCM menu.

it would be nice to implement a SexLab Story where Sanguine makes you the gift of this power  .. would be cool!

(maybe you should contact ojanen for this)

 

bye!

S.

 

 

[DeepBlueFrog]

 

so, I'm having fun with PSQ (Player Succubus Quest) by ojanen

The mod gives you the chance to become a succubus and it's great! what I wanted for my female character.

 

The only "problem" I found is the lack of a story.. to become Succubus, just press a button in MCM menu.

it would be nice to implement a SexLab Story where Sanguine makes you the gift of this power  .. would be cool!

(maybe you should contact ojanen for this)

 

bye!

S.

 

 

I already started working with him to add that capability to Hormones.

 

With PSQ enabled and Hormones Succubus mode enabled as well, sex with Dremoras (including Sanguine), will increase your daedric corruption. After a certain point, it triggers a full PSQ switch (i.e. Hormones triggers 'Become Succubus' in PSQ automatically).

[Content Consumer]

Race dialog for prostitutes (can make dialog check to see if they're wearing tavern/wench clothes?)

 

Nords - I hate sex with Nord men. They don't seem to care how cold it is, like it's some point of pride to fuck outside in the middle of a blizzard.

 

Imperials - Damn Imperials. From the cosmopolitan heartland of the empire, fine, but they all insist on trying to woo me first. Time is money and I don't like sitting listening to poetry when we can just get it over with so I can get to my next customer.

 

Bretons - If I have to roleplay a "maiden of the Reach" one more time while he plays "conquering Forsworn" I'm going to give that Breton bastard a right ding across the ear...

 

Orcs - Rough sex I'm used to. Sometimes the customer likes to play rapist, fine. But if one more Orc man with those huge tusks tries to tongue me, I'll end up scarred and bleeding.

 

Redguards - I don't mind sex with Redguards, mostly. The whole loud warrior's battle cry when they cum gets on my nerves a bit, though.

 

High elves - Altmer are my preferred clients. On quick and off just as quick, drop the money on the nightstand and leave, that's their way.

 

Wood elves - I guess there's a reason they're called "wood" Elves. Hard as wood and slow, so slow... it's not often a woman in my line of work experiences that kind of pleasure.

 

Dark elves - Damn grey-skins. Sexwise they're nothing special, but the glowing red eyes really creep me out in the middle of the night.

 

Argonians - Never had an Argonian client. I'm not even sure if they have the right equipment!

 

Khajiit - Khajiit. They've got spikes on their penises. Hurts like hell when they go in, hurts even worse when they pull out.

[Content Consumer]

Priests

 

Whiterun - I heard that Jennsen, the priest at the Temple of Kynareth, takes advantage of people who go in for healing.

Whiterun - They say that the priestess Ahlam at the Temple of Kynareth is into wierd bondage stuff. I'm not going there for healing any more.

Whiterun - I heard Anders talking yesterday, something about bones, or bone walking... I'd actually swear he said something about needing a boner.

Whiterun - I heard something about Danica needing someone's wood to keep the citizens of Whiterun content. Something like that, anyway.

Whiterun - Heimskr is so obsessed with Talos, sometimes you'd think he wants to fuck the statue.

 

Riften - Alessandra, that priestess who works in the hall of the dead here, is really into necrophilia. I'd stay away if I were you.

Riften - I'm not so sure about that Dinya Balu. Priestess of the goddess of Love and all, and you know what they say about Dunmer women. Wanton, the lot of them.

Riften - I was in the tavern last night when Maramal came in, ranting, as usual. This time it was about the promiscuity of Skyrim's women and how they're causing the dragons to attack. Last week it was about the importance of chastity belts.

Riften - I don't know where she gets it, but that Talos priestess Nura Snow-Shod has been selling excellent cheese lately.

 

Dawnstar - There's a new priest of Mara in town. Name's Erandur. Says he's here to stop the nightmares, but I heard he's just trying to get into Karita's dreams, if you know what I mean.

 

Windhelm - Helgird always stays down in her crypts, or wandering the gravestones. What she needs is a good fuck, maybe she'd get out more.

Windhelm - I heard that Jora and Lortheim are on the outs with each other. They're having a sort of hateful competition with each other, see who can betray their marriage vows the most.

 

Markarth - Those priestesses at the Temple of Dibella sure are a pretty bunch. Anwen's my favorite. What a looker!

Markarth - The way I hear it, Brother Verulus is into necrophilia. I think he's keeping the hall of the dead locked up because he's in there, defiling the bodies of our ancestors.

Markarth - Hah, "mother" Hamal, not. I'd like to know how those priestesses can carnally worship Dibella so often without getting pregnant.

Markarth - Orla, that priestess of Dibella, sure is willing to give religious instruction. All kinds of instruction. All night long.

Markarth - Senna has been accusing everyone who enters the temple of fondling the statuary lately. Best keep clear till she gets it out of her system.

 

Solitude - You didn't hear it from me, but they're saying that Freir and Rorlund hold nightly orgies at the temple. I'm thinking of checking it out some time.

Solitude - Freir asked me yesterday which of the Divines I worship most. Tried to convince me to switch to Dibella worship. Don't know why.

Solitude - Rorlund's been going around with a smile on his face lately. Ever since Silana Petreia came back from her required tutelage at the temple of Dibella in Markarth.

Solitude - I just bumped into Silana Petreia. Literally. Whoo, she's got a body on her, eh?

 

Falkreath - It's a scandal, that's what it is. Runil? And Kust? Living together? And they're not even married! For shame.

 

[DeepBlueFrog]

@Content_consumer - Thanks a lot. These lines will be part of the release.

[Content Consumer]

I'm always happy to think up ideas that make more work for other people. 

[Saeros]

 

 

so, I'm having fun with PSQ (Player Succubus Quest) by ojanen

The mod gives you the chance to become a succubus and it's great! what I wanted for my female character.

 

The only "problem" I found is the lack of a story.. to become Succubus, just press a button in MCM menu.

it would be nice to implement a SexLab Story where Sanguine makes you the gift of this power  .. would be cool!

(maybe you should contact ojanen for this)

 

bye!

S.

 

 

I already started working with him to add that capability to Hormones.

 

With PSQ enabled and Hormones Succubus mode enabled as well, sex with Dremoras (including Sanguine), will increase your daedric corruption. After a certain point, it triggers a full PSQ switch (i.e. Hormones triggers 'Become Succubus' in PSQ automatically).

 

 

that's cool!

(I had not noticed this, my mistake..)

I used hormones in the past, but I removed it in my last playthrough to test other mods...

I am looking forward for this update! 

 

S.

[DeepBlueFrog]

99% of the rumors posted in this thread are now part of SexLab Stories (0.5 was released today).

 

Ask NPCs is they have 'heard any story recently'.

[DeepBlueFrog]

And this is what the rumors look like in game.

 

Many thanks again for the contributions!

[Content Consumer]

No idea if you're still following this, or if you have any plans to add rumors specific to M'aiq, (or plans to never touch M'aiq no matter what), but I was just inspired to write these:

 

What does it mean to combine bodies? Bodies plus bodies is still pregnancy.

Too much masturbation can be dangerous. M'aiq once jerked off twice in a row and bent his cock.

Much snow in Skyrim. Enough snow. It looks like falling semen. M'aiq does not want any more.

Skyrim was once the land of much clothing. Now, not so much.

Breasts jiggle. Why worry about how much. M'aiq thinks bare breasts are pretty.

M'aiq has one cock, it's all he needs. What if it breaks? M'aiq would have to be very unlucky.

M'aiq is always in search of virgins, yet finds none. Where could they have gone?

M'aiq hears many stories of the prostitutes... yet few of them are true.

M'aiq saw a mudcrab's penis the other day. Horrible things!

M'aiq does not understand what is so impressive about shouting. M'aiq can shout whenever he wants. M'aiq would be more impressed with sucking. (thank you Jordisslave)

Why do soldiers bother with masturbation? One is pleasured best by sex with real people.

Something strange happens to Khajiit when they arrive in Skyrim. They all get horny.

Werebears? Where? Bears? Men that are bears? M'aiq approves.

Dragons were never gone. They had just stopped reproducing for quite some time.

M'aiq once climbed High Hrothgar. So many rapes by animals, he lost count!

M'aiq does not remember his first love. Perhaps he never had one.

M'aiq is very practical. He has no need for condoms.

Nord's skin is very smooth. This sometimes makes M'aiq excited.

Some like taking friends on adventures. M'aiq thinks being alone is better. Less possibility of unwanted pregnancy.

Some say Alduin is Akatosh. Some say M'aiq is a great lover. One of those things is true.

It does not matter to M'aiq how strong or smart one is. It only matters how large one's member is.

M'aiq was put in a cage once. Not very pleasant. You should think about that once in a while.

Nords are so serious about breasts. So many breasts. M'aiq thinks they wish they had six nipples like Khajiit.

M'aiq loves the people of Skyrim. Many interesting ways they have to fuck each other.

M'aiq can mate anywhere in the land. Some lazy types mate in beds. It is all the same to M'aiq.

Once M'aiq got in trouble in Riften, and was put in the Riften jail. It was good for M'aiq.

M'aiq has heard it is dangerous to be your fucktoy.

M'aiq knows why the Falmer are aroused. It has nothing to do with the fact that the males outnumber the females by a factor of six. Really.

M'aiq's father was also called M'aiq. As was M'aiq's father's father. M'aiq suspects that his family tree may have a few kinks in it.

How does one know there was (I have no idea how to finish this)

Don't try fucking if you wield a weapon. You will only hurt your partner. Much better to grab fair skin anyway.

M'aiq has heard that the people of Skyrim are better looking than the ones in Cyrodiil. M'aiq only cares about the women, though. All women are beautiful to him.

 

The people of Skyrim are more open-minded about certain things than people in other places. (wanted to say the people of LL are more open minded than the people in nexus, but no).

 

M'aiq is tired now. Go fuck somebody else.

[DeepBlueFrog]

Thanks!

 

I will revisit this and tap into this new batch of rumors next time i work on Stories.

[Ciscero]

Just a thought: Maybe it would be better to change the dialog option from "Heard any good stories recently" to something along the lines of "What's on your mind?" Some of these responses (such as the one about the argonian client or seeing the player in the stocks) aren't really things someone would say when asked about stories, so a more general question might be better.

[Content Consumer]

Heroine in Distress:

They say that a researcher named Hjioriik is working on experiments involving spiders out near Mixwater Mill. Something to do with making them run an obstacle course or something. Might be worth checking out.

 

Darkwind Island:

I heard that a group of bandits overran an Imperial settlement on an island up north. They say the bandits are looking for new recruits.

 

Pet Collar:

Have you seen those new restraint collars? Apparently, they make you want to tear your clothes off when wearing them! That'd be a sight to see...

 

Trapped in Rubber:

A courier passed through here a couple days ago, said she was headed for Brittleshin Pass. Funniest thing - she was dressed head to foot in shiny, squeaky black stuff.

 

Devious Traps:

It is said that some dastardly people trap their chests with certain devices. When the trap is triggered, these devices spring out and wrap the thief in metal and leather.

 

Skooma Whore:

My cousin told me that there's a new brothel at the Mixwater Mill, in Eastmarch. He said the working girls are cheap, but they seemed a little muddled in the head.

 

Bestial Essence:

There's another new shop opening in Falkreath hold. An alchemist's shop, and the owner has been looking for special secret ingredients for powerful potions and the like.

 

 

[Old Book]

I'm sure this topic is long expired, but:
Icicle Valley:
"They say there's a mage in Icicle Valley who has enslaved a dozen female adventurers!"

"They say the lord of Icicle Valley has assembled an army of female Dremora!"

"They say the School for Spellcasting in Icicle Valley has spells for conjuring naked nymphs!"

Mt Peril:
 

"There's some sort of huge mage meeting going on in Mt Peril, up north-west of Solitude."

"They say the fortress of Mt Peril is managed and defended by beautiful women."

Ol Arrow Knee:
"Blue Elves have been seen in Smuggler's Haven. I wonder if they're Sea Elves?"
 

"Piracy is a terrible problem in Northern waters, and the pirates treat female prisoners most unkindly."