A bit of lore writing that I would love some critique on

[Guest]

Recently, I've been doing some basic writing of the lore for the Elder Scrolls world and would love to hear what you'll think. I dont really have any plans on publishing it anywhere but I still want to know what people fell about what could be improved

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/17m0iVif9_-k-yq7ZYC7dG2vko6TpJvTnw0aUQJ6r4Oo/edit?usp=drivesdk

 

 

[obonelayer]

This is really good stuff. Hoping you’re still interested in updating it because I kinda have some ideas too lol 

[ElderOGCS]

Very late to the topic but I love this kind of NSFW worldbuilding stuff. Could probably use a more clear structure to avoid repetition I guess.(Like some racial and regional kinda touch on the same subjects)

I tried to fill in some of the blanks and it's a lot fun really. Just wondering if you have worked more on this.

Edited January 2, 2024 by ElderOGCS

[Guest]

On 12/31/2023 at 4:45 AM, ElderOGCS said:

Very late to the topic but I love this kind of NSFW worldbuilding stuff. Could probably use a more clear structure to avoid repetition I guess.(Like some racial and regional kinda touch the same subjects)

I tried to fill in some of the blanks and it's a lot fun really. Just wondering if you have worked more on this.

I wanted each section to be readable alone so I specifically wrote it to be a little repetitive. it also helps to keep things internally consistent. What do you mean by racial and regional touch? thank you for your interest. this project has become more and more difficult to work on as I've lost more and more free time, but I may come back to it soon.

Edited January 1, 2024 by ashesIIashes

[ElderOGCS]

1 hour ago, ashesIIashes said:

I wanted each section to be readable alone so I specifically wrote it to be a little repetitive. it also helps to keep things internally consistent. What do you mean by racial and regional touch? thank you for your interest. this project has become more and more difficult to work on as I've lost more and more free time, but I may come back to it soon.

Oh I mean the Factions/Guilds/Laws part, like Imperials and Empire, Orcs and Orc strongholds/Orsinium, or just the races and their home provinces. I feel like sometimes they serve as context for each other a lot and it's probably better to place them close together or merge them kinda? (I meant "touch on" the same subject)

 

When trying to fill in more details, I kinda have to shift between descriptions of regional culture vs racial culture, those are very intertwined but still different.

 

Another suggestion I have is maybe making a version that can be considered "in-universe texts"(which really just means removing "real world references", words like "you would expect from a medieval society" for example ), I know there are flavor texts that happen in-universe(and I add some short stories to the already finished sections), but having the entire piece read more like an AU wiki would be cool.(Or maybe even in-universe books that scholars wrote) Again, just personal preferences, since that will make it easier to integrate your great work into the game, it also kinda gave me the idea of rewriting some in-game books with the AU spin.(Keep the general structure and story intact but reframe in a NSFW way.)

 

I came up with some premises for the remaining parts(mainly the races), maybe we can discuss it in DMs or something?(Again, just some brainstorming, nothing needs to come out of it.)

[Guest]

On 1/1/2024 at 8:32 PM, ElderOGCS said:

Oh I mean the Factions/Guilds/Laws part, like Imperials and Empire, Orcs and Orc strongholds/Orsinium, or just the races and their home provinces. I feel like sometimes they serve as context for each other a lot and it's probably better to place them close together or merge them kinda? (I meant "touch on" the same subject)

 

When trying to fill in more details, I kinda have to shift between descriptions of regional culture vs racial culture, those are very intertwined but still different.

 

Another suggestion I have is maybe making a version that can be considered "in-universe texts"(which really just means removing "real world references", words like "you would expect from a medieval society" for example ), I know there are flavor texts that happen in-universe(and I add some short stories to the already finished sections), but having the entire piece read more like an AU wiki would be cool.(Or maybe even in-universe books that scholars wrote) Again, just personal preferences, since that will make it easier to integrate your great work into the game, it also kinda gave me the idea of rewriting some in-game books with the AU spin.(Keep the general structure and story intact but reframe in a NSFW way.)

 

I came up with some premises for the remaining parts(mainly the races), maybe we can discuss it in DMs or something?(Again, just some brainstorming, nothing needs to come out of it.)

I'm ok with you DMing me about stuff. I do agree that combining like-like information is probably a good idea, but I feel like I might be a bit far in the setup to turn back now. I do have a big problem with writing stuff "in-universe" as it limits me to writing in that person's POV and only with their knowledge. It also means what is written may not be 100% correct as the character may be wrong about many things. I'll have to include biases and a writing style that isn't my own. it's way too many hurdles and not really my goal here. wouldn't mean I wouldn't want to do it in the future, however.

 

I will say, that if you're interested, I don't mind adding you as a writer and helping me out. I know it's a big ask, but the offer is on the table.

Edited January 3, 2024 by ashesIIashes