As 2008 was starting to move along, I was in a bit of a professional slump all of a sudden. My story on Bertie was done (as was Bertie).

 

 

And it was still radio silence from my scientist friend.

 

 

I wondered what kinds of crazy things he was doing in that lab of his.

 

 

I usually flew out to meet with my publisher at the end of the week once or twice a month, and I liked to make a stop in Magnolia on the way back. While I was enjoying a drink at the hotel bar, Military Investigator Maggie Justus plopped down at my table.

 

 

She told me as the killer she was chasing seemed to have gone quiet, she thought she was going to be transferred out soon.

 

 

"Sorry to see you go," I told her, half-honestly.

 

 

"Before I go, I think I'm going to have a little fun to remember this burg by," she said. "Your friends Pedro and Joao? They have a bet on between them about which one of them can get in my pants first."

 

 

"How do you know that?"

 

 

"I'm military intelligence, and let's be honest, I'm one of the best. I have my ways. Plus, Joao's seduction game has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer."

 

 

"But, I was thinking it would be funny if neither one of of them wins. You know, I've always been a fan of your work. Both the written kind, and, you know, what you did on video a while back."

 

 

I knew where this was going.

 

 

After, when we were cuddling in bed, she teased me some more about Pedro and Joao: "Like I said, neither one of them wins."

 

 

"Right, I won, that's what you're saying?"

 

 

"Oh, you're definitely a champ, but no, I was thinking they could tie."

 

 

"I was thinking, maybe I could manufacture some reason why they both need to meet up here at the hotel."

 

 

"They aren't sure why, but they come in the room they've been told to."

 

 

"And who do they find? Me, waiting for them. Not with an arrest warrant, but with this hot pussy you just went to town on."

 

 

"I'd make them spitroast me."

 

 

"And DP me."

 

 

"Then I'd suck them both off."

 

 

"In my fantasy, they'd find this embarrassing, but honestly, I bet it wouldn't be the first time they've done it."

 

 

"Until they both blew their loads all over my face."

 

 

"I think that would be extremely hot, don't you? And neither one of them gets to win the bet."

 

 

My God, this was one freaky military investigator.

 

Anyway, this was the point I was really starting to drink too much.

 

 

I didn't recognize it at the time, of course.

 

 

But no matter what I was doing around the house, I always had a drink in my hand.

 

 

Sometimes, when I was sampling my wine that I'd been making, I didn't even bother dirtying a glass.

 

 

But then, one night, I did something insane. I got buck naked, stumbled out of my house, and went looking to party. At least, that's what I'm gathering from the report the booking officer gave me. I was completely blacked out the entire time.

 

 

I guess it involved a lot of noise and a lot of bothering other people, and I came back with a nasty bruise on my face, and had no idea how it got there, but eventually they were kind enough to drop the public indecency charge, and let me pay a small fine for violating the local noise ordinance.

 

But, of course, I kept drinking.

 

 

And then it hit me: inspiration! I sat down at the computer, and wrote my best work ever, a screenplay that would once again make me famous, in one night.

 

 

That's right. I was drunk as a goddamned skunk the night I wrote red.

 

Since it's time to talk about that film, I should note that Erin was going through some things at the time. The newborn was barely a year old, and Marco had been caught by the paparazzi out with his side piece (or one of them, I guess).

 

 

Erin's publicist had her give a big speech that alternatively asked for privacy...

 

 

...and defended Marco as accused without proof...

 

 

...and promised that she'd get through this no matter what.

 

 

How? She'd have to think about that. Probably dive deeper into her art.

 

 

So, anyway, finally I had a spark in the work world, but the climax (so to speak) of this chapter is what I saw on the internet. I knew that Lucy's first video was dropping, and I loaded up her site to watch it.

 

 

Just as promised, she and Joe had flipped the script, so to speak, and she was playing the older girlfriend back from college to wish her boyfriend a happy 18th birthday.

 

 

I guess they had decided the stepsister angle was too weird. Anyway, it was pretty hot porn, if a bit standard, but then, after they'd fucked a bit...

 

 

...the door opened, and she brought in her new friend from college to make Joe's birthday extra special!

 

 

Problem was, when they showed her face.

 

 

I immediately recognized her.

 

 

It was Pedro's stepdaughter, Kami! The one I'd caught having the affair with Bertie, but then didn't publicize for Pedro's sake.

 

 

I guess she'd decided to go into porn, now, and when she ran away to live with "friends," Lucy and Joe were whom she was talking about.

 

 

So, well, of course I kept watching. It was hot as fuck.

 

 

And when Joe started fucking Kami, I could tell this girl definitely had what it took to make it in...well, I would say porn, but honestly, anything sex. Anything sex she could be a star in.

 

 

Then Joe started to alternate between them. He was impressive, himself. So much stamina. But then, he was still 18.

 

 

Then it was time for the big finale, and all three of them were top notch.

 

 

So, I asked myself, do I tell Pedro about this? How do I tell Pedro about this?

 

Instead, I went out to the bar to mix another drink.

 

 

And sat back at my desk, and clicked "Replay."