Meet Cyrus
Once an immigrant college kid with big dreams, now a crooked cop with zero morals and way too much dick for his own good. His coworkers laugh at his bullshit stories—like getting shot in the ass, botching drug busts, or planting fake evidence—because Cyrus somehow manages to fuck up and win at the same time.

But his true reputation? The bedroom. Cyrus is a full-blown jigolo with a badge. He arrests hookers, throws them in jail, and “collects evidence” with his dick. One’s already knocked up, and let’s be honest—she’s probably not the last. Meanwhile, his actual girlfriend has no clue, because Cyrus is also busy railing his roommate, turning their apartment into a nonstop porno set.

So yeah, Cyrus is chaos incarnate: a dirty badge, a dirty dick, and a dirty secret in every corner. He’s the kind of scumbag who’ll make you laugh, gag, and wonder how the hell this man is still breathing free air. Screenshots below—because you can’t make this shit up.

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