Sup Everyone!

 

Allow me to introduce myself.

 

My name is Diego, and I have little problem...

 

 

Narrator Diego: ...pun intended. 'Cause this comically short king over here is actually big, BIG trouble. And his name...

 

 

...is Blake.

 

Narrator Diego: You see, this was him when we first met. I was running interviews to select a new roommate and he seamed like a very chill guy. Apparently he's a software developer for a company that make NSFW games and I guess a thought he would let me try them for free, he, he.

 

Narrator Diego: Funny, nerdy, a bit cocky but over all very outgoing. Sure, he looked dangerously handsome and my grandma always said to beware of the pretty ones but I thought that since he was basically a Hobbit he wasn't gonna take many girls from me.

 

 

...spoiler alert, turns out girls weren't going to be a problem at all. 

 

 

Narrator Diego: So there we go. I had a new roommate and between work and classes I didn't see him at all for a few days until one morning I walked into the kitchen and there she was...

 

Narrator Diego: ...An hourglass shaped baddie looking at the sunrise.

 

 

Narrator Diego: At first I thought she might be Blake's girlfriend but I went on and assumed she was his sister or something so I was about to take my chances when...

 

Diego: Gorgeous view, huh?

 

 

Blake: Mmmm! Gorgeous indeed. You are ripped, huh?

 

 

Diego: Fuck, Blake? I...I thought...I thought

 

Blake: You thought what, big guy?

 

Diego: I...I thought you hair was shorter, ha, ha.-"fuck am I saying?"

 

 

Blake: Oh! Ha, ha. Yeah! Here, let me show you...

 

 

Narrator Diego: There...

 

...right fucking there...

 

 

Blake: Looks good on me, right?

 

Narrator Diego: ...that was the first time that bastard made me skip a heart beat.

 

 

Narrator Diego: And just like that my existence became a nightmare. Every certainty I had of my sexuality flew out the window.

 

Narrator Diego: He even ruined the gym for me, I mean look at him...

 

 

Narrator Diego: ...since when are dudes built like that? Is ridiculous!

 

 

Narrator Diego: It wasn't long until he brought the first guy home and I swear It felt like a shot in the balls. Every time I new guy walked into the house all I cloud think of was to open their guts with a rusty razor...

 

...and for what? I mean, they didn't do shit to me, right?

 

I'M NO EVEN INTO DUDES!

 

 

Narrator Diego: What's worse is...I think he has noticed I can't stop looking at him and...he's began to tease me a lot...

 

 

Narrator Diego: Usually he just stares at me playing cute with those big blue eyes...

 

 

Narrator Diego: ...but these days it's gotten more...clear.

 

Usually I just pretend I don't like it or I don't pay attention but...it's getting hard to ignore.

 

Narrator Diego: Honestly guys...I think I might just be about to snap and...

 

 

Narrator Diego: ...I'm afraid of what might happen if I do.

 

Diego: Hey, What are you playing, bro? Looks cool.

 

Blake: It's a fighting game called Sexxxy Fighter. Wanna brawl with me for a bit, Diego?

 

 

Diego: Sure! Gimme that, Imma woop your ass right now.

 

Blake: Ptsss! You wish

 

 

Diego: See? I'm beating you up real easy, ha, ha.

 

Blake: Yeah? Defend yourself from this, then...

 

Diego: Yo stop...

 

 

Diego: ...STOP WITH YOUR FUCKING GAMES, DUDE.

 

Blake: Wow! So much aggression. Did I struck a nerve? *chuckles*

 

Diego: I'm tired of you teasing me all the time. Stop touching me like that.

 

Blake: You don't like me being a little playful around you, Diego?

 

Diego: No. It's fucking weird. It's...

 

 

Blake: Well if you hate it so much then why do you have such a massive boner right now, love?

 

Diego: What? Oh fuck!

 

 

Diego: Oh my god. This is so inappropriate. I'm sorry, bro. I've been under so much stress lately I...

 

 

Blake: Here...

 

Diego: What the...you...you are hung...

 

Blake: See? It's okay to get excited around you hot friends sometimes. It's only normal. 

 

 

Blake: Now take your pants off and let me see yours.

 

Diego: I...I think I gotta go, I'm sorry for almost hitting you Blake. It wasn't cool. I think I'm going to bed...

 

 

Diego: YO WHA...

 

Blake: I said "let me see it". What's the problem big guy? Are you afraid I might be bigger?

 

 

Blake: Oh my god you have a caterpillar down there, don't you?

 

Ha, ha, ha! It's okay big guy. I can be your top ha, ha, ha!

 

 

Narrator Diego: Like I said...

 

...I don't know what will happen when I finally snap.

 

 

Diego: Pfff! Who do you think you are talking to, son? Would you call this a caterpillar? You would have to grow another dick to start comparing to m...

 

 

Blake: *DROPS VIOLENTLY* FUCKING FINALLY, DUDE!

 

 

Diego: You...you are not surprised?

 

 

Blake: Gosh! Do you think I am stupid? Do you think it isn't obvious you that you were packing a meat loaf down there? I had to trick you into giving it to me.

 

 

Diego: W...fuck....wait! I'm not into dudes.

 

Blake: Yeah? The why your cock look like it could cut through diamonds, love?

 

 

Diego: "This bitch is working the head and it feels like my whole body is melting. I...I don't think I..."

 

Blake: So? Do you want this or not? Do you want me or no?

 

Diego: "I...I don't think I can..."

 

 

Blake: I think we both know how this ends.

 

Diego: "I don't think I can resist anymore"

 

 

Diego: Fucking hell, dude...

 

 

Diego: I can't believe my roomate is giving me my dream blowjob.

 

Blake: *GAG* Do you like it, love?

 

Diego: Hell yeah, bro.

 

Blake: Too bad...

 

 

Diego: Hey! Where the fuck are you going? You can't blue ball me like that...

 

Blake: I asked you if you wanted me and you stood there in silence like a fucking loser.

 

so I'm going to let my hair lose, since you like it so much, and I'm going to give you one last chance to figure the fuck out...

 

 

 

 

Blake: ...if you can handle this or not.

 

 

Diego: Fuck, you are such a tease. I thought it was you who said we knew were this was going.

 

Blake: I want to hear you say it *hmh*

 

Diego: I fucking want you bro. I fucking need to taste you Blake.

 

 

Blake: Then taste me alright...

 

 

Blake: Right there. Work this brat's ass hole, baby.

 

 

Diego: I can't fucking wait any longer, bro.

 

Blake: Fuck, I've been waiting so long for this. Fuck me, baby. Have no mercy of my little boy pussy.

 

 

Blake: OH MY GOD!

 

Diego: Gosh, dude. You are so light.

 

 

Diego: You are like the world's greatest fuck toy...

 

Blake: Mmmh! Moron...

 

 

Diego: I can't control myself.

 

Blake: Use me baby.

 

 

Blake: Gosh I feel so sexy right now, this is so hot.

 

 

Diego: Damn, bro. You ride it like a fucking pro.

 

Blake: Yeah?... Then I hope you are ready for this.

 

 

Blake: Then I hope you are ready for this.

 

 

Blake: Oh my God, Look at you. So eager to please. Are you trying to impress me?

 

Diego: My roommate deserves all the best I can give him, that's all.

 

 

Diego: Now come here and let me show you.

 

Blake: OH FFFFFUUUUCKK, BABY!!! *HMFH* I...WAIT...OH MY GOD...

 

 

Blake: ...Wait...Diego, wait, baby....WAIT! I...I'M GONNA COME!! 

 

...I'M GONNA COME...*HUMPF*...AND MY DICK IS POINTING TO MY...*GASP*

 

 

Diego: Fuck me, dude. That was explosive. I wish you could see your face right now.

 

Blake: This is all you fault, idiot.

 

Diego: Damn you look so cute covered in your own cum.

 

Blake: Fucking moron! Get off me! Let me go.

 

Diego: OH no, none of that. Come here.

 

 

Blake: What the fuck, what are you doing?

 

Diego: We are going to clean you up and take the party upstairs. I'm not finished.

 

Blake: Oh my god. You are such a dork..

 

 

Blake: What's wrong, big guy? Did your confidence fly out the window? Am I too much for you now?

 

 

Blake: OH...FUCK...ME!!!!

 

Diego: That will teach you to respect your owner. This dick owns this boy pussy you hear me?

 

Blake: Y...OH GOD...YEAS DADDY. HARDER PLEASE.

 

 

Blake: I WANT YOU TO TAME ME, BABY, PLEASE!

 

 

Blake: I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS, THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD.

 

 

Blake: You were right baby. I am the world's greatest fuck toy. Use me, daddy.

 

 

 

Diego: Fuck! you have such a slutty expression on your face.

 

Blake: Stop teasing me.

 

 

Diego: You know what, bro. Your balls are kinda cute, ngl...

 

Blake: and they taste amazing too, if you want to try them...

 

Diego: Yeah, I'm not ready for that...

 

Blake: *chuckles* I had to try.

 

 

Blake: *HUMPF* YES...HARDER...YES!

 

 

 

Diego: FUCK...BLAKE...I THINK I'M GOING TO NUT.

 

Blake: YES! COME FOR ME, BABY. GLAZE MY FUCKING FACE!

 

 

 

Diego: FUCK I CAN'T STOP COMING!!

 

 

Blake: Fuuuck meee dude! What the fuck? You fucking showered me. What the hell?

 

Diego: What...*pant*...what can I say...*pant*

 

...that was the best fuck of my life.

 

Blake: Oh, look at you so sweet all of a sudden.

 

Diego: So, what do you say we take a shower together?

 

Blake: Are you crazy? A shower with you and your wild horse cock sounds dangerous. No, thank you.

 

 

Blake: Hey! Where are you going?

 

Diego: You can take that shower while I go call for pizza delivery. I'm fucking starving.

 

Blake: *muffled* but I really wanted to take that shower with you, dummy.

 

 

Blake: Baby wait! I changed my mind. Pizza sounds good, tho.

 

 

 

Narrator Diego: Yep! I finally fucking lost it...

 

...and I gotta say...

 

...I couldn't be happier.