So last night I paid a return visit to Vault 95. I'd called in there earlier with Piper on my way down to the Glowing Sea. This time I'm trying to get into Cait's knickers. Hence the reason for the visit.

I set out to teleport fast travel there, not even sneaking before I hit the "go" button. Then, when I'm looking at the loading screen and it's too late to do anything about it, I thought "hang on - isn't this the one that's heavily fortified by Gunners?"

Well of course it is. And I arrived standing up. What joy.

Although as it turned out, things didn't start too badly. We arrived, I dropped to a crouch and when all hell didn't immediately break loose, I began to think I'd got away with it. Then while I was pondering the best way to approach the problem, we started to draw fire. Quite a lot of, in fact. So I dropped the nearest Gunner boy, spent a banked critical blowing the leg off an assaultron, and then turned tail and ran hell-for-leather. Same old same old, really.

I got myself into cover, or shielded by the brow of a hill at any rate, and dropped back into stealth. The top level stealth perk is supposed to make distant enemies lose sight of you - I'm not sure it isn't bugged because I've barely had time to think "what next?" when a head appears over the top of the hill. It's that damn assultron! Apparently I didn't drop it after all.

I rectify this by emptying Deliverance (who calls a gun "Deliverer" anyway?) into the robot's chest cavity, and then I reload and spend a couple more rounds dropping another Gunner. Then I notice the robot is still twitching. No, it's not, it's the other assultron, the one I kneecapped, crawling over the hill. And suddenly there are three or four gunners firing energy weapons at me, and it's time to once again employ my favourite tactic: Run!

So I hide behind another hill, pop the first Gunner to poke his head up and leg it once again.

By this time I've managed to circle back to the other side of the vault entrance, and most of the pack are still trying to work out where I went. I cap one particular gunner who's being (briefly) far too clever for his own good, and then use a critical to take care of the sniper on top of the vault entrance. I can't target his buddy, so I sneak up the gantry intent on very quiet mayhem only to discover that the buddy is one of these damn shop window mannequins. I should have remembered that from my last visit.

About this time, Cait catches up with me. Not sure what she's been doing, but I'm sure she's been having fun on her own. By my estimates there should be another three or four gunners that I've not picked off yet, but none of them are in evidence. I decide to enter the damn vault before the survivors turn up.

I shoot the lone guard left on the vault entrance, take the elevator, pick off the gunner girl patrolling the hallway, shoot out the combat inhibitor on a Gutsy robot and get Cait to open the locked door and turn off the turrets. We're in!

The rest of the vault is pretty straight-forward. The only real hitch is on a lower lever where one of the turrets hasn't got the memo and opens fire. By the time I've sorted that out, three senior gunners are firing from cover and I resort to number 2 favourite tactic: duck out from behind cover, shoot the nearest head several times, then duck back. Repeat until you run out of heads, or no longer have one of your own. Luckily in this case I get the former outcome.

Apart from that, it all goes smoothly, and it's not until I'm back in the elevator with a much happier Cait in tow when I realise that all the gunners I didn't kill will be waiting at the entrance. Turns out I needn't have worried - nothing there but a modest pile of bodies. Wait, is that something twitching? Of course it is! It's the damn legless assaultron from the start, still trying to drag itself over to me. I put it out of it's misery before it gets close enough to do anything antisocial. Like explode.

Then there's nothing left to do but loot the bodies and head back to Sanctuary to dump the accumulated junk from the run. Time to think about how I'm going to romance Cait now that drunkenly cavorting naked round Diamond City is no longer on the table.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is what I call playing Fallout! Runs like that are what I want from this game. It's taken me this long to get past the force-fed baby sentiment, but when it finally gets going, there's a lot of fun to be had here.