Employee Handbook
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On Being A Good Little Pony - A Guide For New S.L.U.T.s.
Welcome to The Company. We are sure that you will enjoy your life as a Skyrim Licenced Universal Transport girl. This book contains a few simple rules to help you have the best possible time as you help Our Company grow and prosper. We just know that you will be anxious and eager to help!
Customer Satisfaction
As a S.L.U.T. girl your first and constant care is customer satisfaction. A happy customer is a repeat customer, and repeat customers pay all of our wages!
Remember! Nothing is too much trouble for one of our Ponies if it means putting a smile on the face of a customer!
Goods And Equipment
Our customers care about they goods they entrust to our keeping. As such it is every S.L.U.T.'s responsibility to see, not only that their packages get where the customer wants them to go, but also that they emerge from the process in absolute tip-top condition! As a Good Little Pony, we just know that you are going to give this your absolute best efforts, and that as a result we will seldom, if ever, be forced to dock your wages to pay for damages and pilfering.
Of course, it isn't just the customer's goods that need looking after! It is essential that company vehicles remain in tip-top condition, and it is your responsibility to look after your cart while you are In Service. Oh, isn't this all so exciting!
Tack And Livery
All of our Ponies are issued with a full compliment of Tack and Harness when they venture out into the field. We are sure you appreciate how vitally important it is that these continue to be worn at all times while you are In Service.
After all, you DO want to look your best for our customers, don't you?
Attitude
A Good Little Pony is cheerful, compliant and eager to please. Nothing makes such a good impression as an alert posture, a bright smile and a willingness to go that extra mile if that's what it takes to get a good Customer Review.
We have faith in our Ponies and we just know that you are going to bring an awful lot of pleasure into the lives of our customers!
Promptness
Our customers want what they've paid for and they want it right away. As a Good Little Pony, it is your job to see that they get it: where they
want it, when they want it, and however they want it.
Remember: The Customer Is Always Right!
Recompense
At S.L.U.T.S., we belive in Good Pay For Hard Work. For each delivery run, you can expect to be paid an amount equal to one third the value of your cargo. Isn't that generous! And the more valuable the cargo, the more you get paid.
Of course, high valued cargoes are only available to Ponies who have proven themsevles to be reliable and helpful, but as a Good Little Pony, we feel sure that you will soon be earning Top Septim!
Insubordination
From time to time, every Pony needs a touch of discipline in her life to remind her of her duties. Even Good Little Ponies can have Bad Days, and backchat, insubordination and even violence are sadly not unknown.
When these things happens, it is our sad duty to supply firm correction. Most commonly this is by means of deductions to a Pony's pay, but for serious infractions, corporal punishment may also be administered.
At The Company, we prefer The Carrot to The Stick, and we are sure that soon, you will too! So be the Best Little Pony that you can, and you never need worry about these horrible, horrible things.
Arrears
Occasionally, a Pony may find herself with more deductions that she has earned from a particular run. As Pony that owes money to The Company, we know you will be eager to make up any shortfall. In these circumstances, your Handler will be only too happy to find you additional loads to haul until matters are set to rights.
This is unlikely to affect Ponies that keep in mind the rules of this handbook, but if it does, rest assured The Company will undertake to take care of a Pony's needs in the event that she be kept In Service for an extended period.
In Conclusion
As a Good Little Pony, you are bright, enthusiastic and willing to please, always willing to put the customer first and do everything in your power to take care of his goods. We just know that you're going to have a lot of fun, and that your time with us will be long and oh, so fulfilling!
Now put a smile on your face, and go out and make someone happy!
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