You want to know about my time as an apprentice in Winterhold? Well, it wasn't what I expected I can tell you that.

 

So let's see. My mother had decided to pay for my education in Winterhold. Up to there, I had lived with her in Camlorn where she was a high end prostitute and she wanted me to be able to choose a different path in life than her. Still, she was probably far better off than someone in her trade would have been in Skyrim, the sociely there being far less phalocratic than the nord one. However I had no notion about that at that time. Anyway, despite her profession, I had been pretty sheltered myself, knowing of her activities but a virgin myself eventhough I knew far more than she suspected about sex since I had taken to spy on her when she was with her clients.

 

 

Considering my education, I was well written and knew my calculus, Still, I was far from being what one would call a scholar. Since I was considered very pretty and knew my letters, I probably could have married a wealthy man, become a smith or a miller's wife maybe, or even a noble's mistress. However, I had a strong magic ability. I had learned my mother's only magical talent, which was a cosmetic spell allowing you to change your hair color and its length, and I had taught myself a hovering light spell. Furthermore, having learned to read with some fantasy novels that some of my mother's patron had given me, I had a fascination with the "adventurer's life" and wanted to be one.

 

 

So I had told my mother that I wanted to become a mage. Obviously, she didn't know about the whole adventurer thing or she probably would have forbidden me from leaving her side and married me me to one of her wealthy client's son, but she could picture me as a court magus or an enchantment merchant so she agreed to it.

It might appear strange that I went to Skyrim, of all places to learn magic, but in fact, Winterhold was known as one of the few places where one could study magic officially, without needing any political screening or family ties. As usual, High Rock and it's different magic academy was a nest of vipers, you had to be an elf (more than me) to study magic in the aldmeri dominion, and the imperial synode was as political if not more than the breton's mage guilds. Deeming me too naive to survive these places, my mother then chose to send me to Winterhold. As for me, the very romantic notions that I had about skyrim as a wild place where adventurers could roam the land freely made me agree with her choice if not with her reasoning.

 

 

I traveled from Camlorn to Northpoint by caravan and took a boat there to Winterhold. When I arrived there, I had more or less 200 septims left, and nothing apart from the 2 or 3 dresses that I had brought with me. The cold was searing and night was falling when I finally step foot on Skyrim's ground for the first time. There, I finally laid eyes on the college, towering above me on top of a lone rock tooth like an ominous castle out of one of my light novels. That was gorgeous. Seeing it, I could already picture me as a great sorceress, adulated by the poors and the weak, bane of monsters and evil bandits...

 

 

On the other hand, if I was impressed by the college, the "city" next to it was quite the disappointment. I had read about it on my way here, how it had been an important trade point, but that it had fallen on hard times since some sort of tempest or something, well frankly, fallen on hard times was putting it lightly. It was almost a ghost town with no more than maybe ten houses that still appeared to be in use, the rest of the town made up of snow covered ruins... And by the Eight, I was litterally freezing!

 

 

Since I didn't feel like knocking on the college's doors while it was night, I hurriedly found my way to the only inn of the town and went there, using a little more of what was left of my money to get a meal and a room. It is there, going to sit to get my meal that I saw one of these outrageous adverts for the first time.

 

 

There, right in a tavern, a big announcements of a slave sale. And not only that, but there was a picture, probably created by some kind of magical contraption that depicted a naked woman covered in chains. Was that allowed in skyrim? Usual enough that it could be displayed in an inn for all to see? In what I had read I didn't remember any places in the Empire or its old provinces where slavery was legal. I mean who knew what happened in the aldmeri dominion, but here in Skyrim?

After that, I really didn't feel hungry any more. Shocked, and let's face it a bit flustered by that image, I stood up to go to my room when someone that I hadn't seen approach called for me.

"You are new here, aren't you? This one would have noticed such a pretty girl in this dreadful town if you lived here."

 

 

Looking back, I saw a grey furred khajitt with a drooping mustach, dressed in a flamboyant red attire looking at me. Feeling Shy, I couldn't hold his gaze. I wasn't used to khajitts, I had seen some already but had never really talked to one. Also, eventhough he appeared well dressed and educated, I couldn't help but feeling something feral, almost predatory in the way he was looking at me.

"Hi... I... My name is Shanilia. And yes I just arrived from a boat."

"From a boat, Here to see the college this one thinks. J'zargo could take you there tonight, he lives there you see, he is one of the mages."

J'zargo? Was that his name? And he was a mage? From the college? Such luck, maybe he could help me become a student there!

"I... Yes I would love to see it, you see I am here to... Ah!"

 

 

I was cut short mid sentence when I fetl his hand land on my bottom. Dumbfounded, I didn't know how to react.

"Good, follow J'Zargo to his room. Much more confortable than this lousy inn. There, this one will see what treasures you hide under this ugly dress, and give you so much pleasure you can never go back to sleeping with any shave skin and their smooth little pee pee. And if you make J'Zargo happy too, he will reward you handsomely, mm? J'zargo is pretty rich you know?"

What? Her wanted to make love to me? Saying that he would pay me?

"Ah! Please stop that! I am not a prostitute!"

 

 

Still fondling me, he smiled at me:

"Then J'Zargo doesn't need to pay. Even better. Now come, show J'Zargo a good time. He is an important person in the college, he could let you stay in his room as long as you make him happy. You'd get pretty baubles, nice dresses and good food, and you'd get to sleep with him every day. Being J'Zargo's mistress would make all the girls jealous of you." He said, his hand still fondling my behind. 

"I... Please... Stop... People are watching!"

They were, and none was coming to my help.

"J'Zargo isn't holding you back. If you want him to stop, you can just go away." He said with a smirk.

By the Eight! Shamefaced I ran away from him to get in my room and slammed the door shut behind me.

What had just happened? And why had I just stood there like an idiot. Also, why hadn't anybody intervened? And now, I would probably see him again if I was accepted in the college, how could I face him after what he had done to me? Or what I had let him do to me...

 

 

Trying to change my train of thougts, I tried to distract myself with one of my  favourite novels that I had brought with me, but my mind kept coming back to this Khajitt's hand on me, his outrageous propositions, my lack of reaction...

 

 

What would have happened had I not spoken up? Would he have taken me to his room in the college? Would he be making love to me right now?

 

 

When had I let go of my book? When had I undressed? How could I fantasize about laying with such a crude character? Yet, here I was with my fingers dancing on my virgin but oh so moist and sensitive flower.

 

 

I could picture it. Me pinned down under him, his proud and strong dragon... By the way, how did khajitt look down there? I had never sees my mom with one. But I guessed they weren't called beast race for nothing, they probably were massive down there! He would fill me completely, I was sure of it!

 

 

Imagining what it would feel to have him take me like that, how I would look like writhing in the throes of passion under him, I suddenly shook under the sweet release of a devastating orgasm as I felt some of my nectar spew from my flower to wet my sheets. 

 

 

As I laid there, breathless, I couldn't help but wonder what had come over me. I always had had a pretty active and wild imagination and if I was a virgin and had actually never even kissed a boy, it wasn't my first time pleasuring myself, but still, to lose control like that! And to reach my peak so quickly? What had made me so excited? That brash and impudent khajitt was far from what I always had fantasized about, and yet, he had been so offensive with me. had there been something in my food? In the air? Or was the prospect of finally becoming a mage enough to unhinge me so?

I thought that I would have difficulty sleeping but actually didn't even redress or get under the furs before nodding off.

 

When I get up, I dress up and eat some break fast, trying my best to calm down, to think about what I'll say to the mages of the college, not to think about the mean khajitt and his rude actions and comment towards me. 

Once ready, I take all my belongings and go to the edge of town, where the ornamental bridge is, where, I hope, my future awaits me. There, I close my eyes, breathing in and out a few times to focus. Time to look like a good student, to make them want me here. I have come all the way to Camlorn for that and I am not even sure that the money I have left would get me back to Highrock, i have to be accepted as a student here!

 

 

"Well, if it isn't yesterday's pretty girl? Here to finally accept J'zargo's offer?"

Shocked out of my introspection, I open my eyes to see that the very one I didn't want to see has gotten out from behind one of the pillars and is looking down at me.

"What? What are you doing here?" I ask

"Right now, J'zargo is the one guarding the college's gate, the one responsible for making sure that no intruder comes in. Lucky for you isn't it. Another one would have told the pretty farm girl to go back where she came from, but J'Zargo isn't so cruel. He'll let you in if you are nice to him."

 

 

Oh by the eight? Why did it have to be him today? Or... Did he expect me? Did he volunteer to be the one to "welcome" me?

"I... I am not here for sight seeing. I am here to learn, to study. I want to become a student of Winterhold's college." I say, trying to sound more confident than I feel.

"Oh really? This one is here to study? But surely you must know that not everyone can become a student here?"

"What? But I was told that there was no political screening!"

"Who talks about political? This here is a mage's college, so obviously you must have some magic talent to be accepted as a student! Not every farm girl is accepted here you know?"

Oh, I had gotten scare for a while. Also, that damn cat was starting to get on my nerves with his farm girl this, farm girl that!

"I am not a farm girl, you know? I hail from Camlorn, which if I must say, is much more civilised than this place, warmer too. And ther my magical talent was recognised which is precisely why I traveled up to this remote place. So if you could just let me in then I could get out of the cold and start doing what I came to this godsforsaken place for, which is studying magic."

 

 

The rude khajitt seemed a bit taken aback by my outburst, as if he hadn't expected me to actually talk back. Not that surprising actually considering how meek he had seen me up to now. He stepped back a bit before saying.

"Oh you'll have to pardon this one milady. J'Zargo might have misjudged you. Usually J'Zargo can kind of smell important or powerful people, but maybe he was so taken by your beauty that he failed to recognize your value."

Flattery now... Well, that was still better than nothing. I was about to go when he stopped me again. 

"Now, this one has no doubt that you are a powerful mage, but he will need to attest that you actually have some talent. He wouldn't want the other mages to question him and have no clear answer as to what he was shown. So what spell will you show J'Zargo?"

"Err, I guess that I could show you the hovering light spell  that I know? It isn't that stable or great but I learned it by myself so..."

"A light spell? Even a goblin could learn to do that if they didn't prefer to lurk in smelly caves. Surely you have something better to show J'Zargo?"

 

 

And as quickly as my confidence had risen, it was crushed. What else could I show him? The only other spell that I knew was the one allowing me to change my haircut or coloration, it was practical for a courtesan like my mother, but if my light spell didn't impress him, i doubted that this one would.

Now smirking, J'Zargo said:

"This one knows, why don't you use an expert level destruction spell on this pillar, don't worry, it is protected against magic. No? A strengthening spell? A daedra summoning spell? No? Nothing? Maybe J'Zargo wasn't so wrong after all. Now why don't you go back to Camlorn or wherever to impress people with your great magic, while here real mages study and nurture some true power, mmm?"

 

 

No... I couldn't fail. I couldn't go back, that was a nightmare! unable to face the mean Khajitt, I pleaded:

"Please... How can I know magic without being taught? I can't go back to Camlorn. I can't study in Highrock, I am neither rich nor noble enough for that... And I don't even have enough for the boat back."

"Oh... Not so high and mighty now. Not a farmgirl but a pauper. There is no place for talentless girls like you here. Unless..."

"Please, how can I prove myself to you, I'll study, I'll work hard, I'll..."

 

 

"You'll show J'zargo your teats."

"Yes I... What?"

"Remove this dress and maybe J'Zargo will let you come in."

"But..."

"Fine, go. J'Zargo has plenty of farm girls who are happy to undress for him."

"No, I... I'll do it."

 

 

Burning with shame while freezing under Winterhold's icy winds, my dress in a heap in the wall's corner. I stood there, mortified as the vulgar Khajitt looked me up and down.

"Oh, that is anice little elf. Are you a bosmer? You can't be dunmer or altmer with that white skin."

"My mother is breton, sir. And I don't know my father."

"Oh, halfmer then this one guesses. Now, Show J'Zargo some halfmer teats before the cold turns them to ice."

"But..."

"Or you can still go back where you came from."

 

 

I let my bra fall next to my dress.

"Please... Please no more..." I pleaded, my earlier spunk no more than a distant memory.

"First, Show J'Zargo. He's the one who'll say when this is enough."

 

 

He was right I guessed. After all, it wasn't as if I had any other bargaining chip. Defeated, I let my hands fall to the sides.

"Such nice teats! Makes J'Zargo wants to go back to childhood." he said, crouching close to me.

 

 

He was so close to me. So close to my almost and soon to be naked body. Because obviously he wouldn't stop here. He would have me undress completely, and then, he probably would abuse me. After all, that's what he had wanted yesterday, there wasn't really any reason for him to ask for less today, especially now that he knew that I couldn't afford to refuse any of his demands.

 

 

By Mara and Dibella, how could I feel so hot with the air so cold? He looked straight at my panties, as if he could see through it to gaze at my virgin flower, and then he sniffed a few times before bursting out laughing.

"Ha! J'Zargo didn't smell any power or magic in the stupid farmgirl, but he sure smells a female in heat now! You want J'Zargo to breed you now, don't you?"

"What? No I don't!" I didn't... Right?

"Pah! No matter. You'll learn to be more honest with time. Now remove this last garment and let J'Zargo have his fill of this sweet smelling pussy and then this one will let you..."

"Will let her what, my dear apprentice?" Asked a commanding voice to my right.

 

 

J'Zargo jumped away from me as if he'd been kicked while I covered myself as best as I could.

We both had been so wrapped up in each other than neither of us had heard or seen the severe looking altmer.

"So J'Zargo. Mind telling me what in Oblivion is happening here?"

"Err, you see. J'Zargo was garding the way to the college as he had been instructed, and then the crazy girl came and said that she wanted to visit the college. And when I said that she couldn't she started undressing to tempt J'Zargo..."

"What? You're the one blackmailing me!"

 

 

"Shut up little girl, grown ups are talking. Well actually, a grown up and a flea infected rug are talking. Now J'Zargo, give me a good reason not to burn you to a crisp right here and now."

"Master, surely you won't believe her? J'Zargo was merely trying to restrain her when..."

"That's not true. He's the one who demanded that I undress, he even assaulted me yester day when I was..."

"ENOUGH! The both of  you wil shut up or there will be an overcooked khajitt and girl roast for lunch for the villagers today."

When she saw that we were both silent, she turned once more to J'Zargo.

"You stupid horny cat. No more lies. I knew that you were up to no good when you told me this morning that I ought to rest and that you'd take my place at the gate. So I asked Drevis to turn me transparent and I watched from afar. When I saw that something was happening, I came to see, and you were so busy drooling over that one that you didn't notice me eventhough I was barely transparent. So yes, I heard everything. Deeming yourself good enough to test the newcomers when you still are but an apprentice? Taking advantage of that stupid girl's despair and naivety to force yourself upon her... Get back in your quarters this instant and you better be there studying when I decide to come checking on you to tell you what your punishment will be. Now scram if you don't want me to lit your tail on fire."

Without a word, J'Zargo ran to the college.

"Now you." She said turning to me and I felt myself shrink under her gaze.

"I can explain, I..."

"Start by dressing yourself up before you turn frozen yogurt."

Shamefaced, I did as she asked.

She was probably going to laugh at me, obviously I wasn't a good enough magician, but I couldn't stay silent. As soon as I had finished dressing up I started begging.

"Please! Please! I know that I am not a true mage, that I know no true or useful spell yet, but I can learn, I'll study hard, I'll clean and cook if need be, I'll..."

 

 

"You said that you knew a hovering light spell, was that a lie?"

"I... No, that was no lie."

"Show me  then."

I took a long breath, now wasn't the time to mess up. Gathering my magicka, I let it flow to my hands, before releasing it. The light burst out of my fingers, almost blinding us. I almost lost control of it, letting it disperse into the air but managed to stabilize it and place it above me.

 

 

"What? You call that a hovering light" Asked the altmer. "I am almost blind, and eventhough it is snowing, we're outside during the day!"

"I... I am sorry, I didn't want it to fail, so i might have pushed it a little too much."

"Well, I can believe you when you say that you are self taught. There is so much magicka leakage that if someone had taught you that he'd be the laughing stock of any magus."

I felt my heart sank at her words.

 

 

"How long would that spell hold for?" She asked.

"I am not sure for that one, they are less bright most of the time, I'd say an hour or two."

"What? And... If I asked you, you could cast it again, right now?"

"Well sure. Do you want me to..."

"Quagmire no! Once is enough. You put enough magicka in that to drain an average mage and you could do it again? Without training? Had you put that much magicka to generate fire in place of light, you probably would be dead, and possibly anyone around you without proper magical ward. So your mastery is nil, which is to be expected from someone self taught, but you definitely have power that's for sure."

"Does that mean that..."

"Yes. Welcome to Winterhold's college girl. Now follow me."

Still a bit stunned by the turn of events, I trotted behind her while she crossed the bridge leading to the college itself.

 

 

In front of the main gate, she stopped and looked at me a while before talking.

"This is it girl. Here you'll be tested to see what are your affinities and you'll learn the bases of magic. Enough no to kill yourself when wanting to light a candle. After that, you'll have to pay for your tuition, then maybe one of the senior mages will take you as his or her apprentice. Won't be me though. I already have the sleazy cat and something tells me that it'll be a while before you can play nice with each other, and also. Well, I like girls with a little more backbone than you. Why did you let that stupid Khajitt step on you like that?"

 

 

"I... I am sorry..."

"Here, see? You need to learn to stand up for yourself girl. I don't know where you came from but in here, a girl who doesn't know when to say no, quickly finds herself in a position where that's no longer an option, and if you think that J'Zargo is bad, then you really have seen nothing, understood?"

"I... Yes, I'll do my best."

"Good, cause I'll tell you, you've got power and potential, enough to do great things, but that won't mean anything if you don't learn to hold your ground against bullies. Now get in there and tell Mirabell Ervine that I sent you to her."

"I don't know how to thank you." I said.

"Then don't." she answered before leaving to go back to her vigil at the gate.

Turning to Winterhold, I took a deep breath then stepped in.