This month is remarkable by three big events for us: Valentine, our 5th anniversary and Precious’s first birthday. We were extremely busy. I will tell you about it later, in my next diary after Precious’ birthday. In this diary I will tell you about how I almost screwed up everything. I hurt my Ivy badly and saddened my Prince. I want to tell you about it so you won’t do same mistake.
Two days before Valentine something got into me and I was jealous at my luvs. I wasn’t completely myself and I forgot what my Prince told to my Ivy and me about his love for us few days earlier. Their affinity and togetherness in everything suddenly bothered me. I was envious on their hunger for each other although they were 24 hours together. I was envious on their giggles, gentleness, her leaning on him, and her constant touching him, sitting in his lap, constant smooching, often exchanging love looks and very passionate sex. I convinced myself that when he did those things to me that he was only pretending. During M/FF sex I thought that he was more focused on her, than on me. That’s why I had a feeling that he isn’t in love with me as he is with her and that he is losing his interest in me. It made me cry heavily. I complained to my mom and my Fran. My mom said that it is only my imagination and that she sees how much my Prince loves me. I didn’t believe it. Unlike her my Fran convinced me that my Ivy had too much influence on him and that it is her fault he isn’t passionate with me any more. His saying made sense to me because I wanted to believe in it and I was very angry at her. Night before Valentine he and my Ivy were finishing bathing Mikey. I just put Precious to sleep and I said to my Ivy I need to talk to her urgently. On her question “Can it wait?” I sharply said “NO!” and that I’m waiting for her in our bedroom. When she entered into the bedroom my eyes filled with tears and I said to her very angrily:
- I want my Prince back!
Ivy: I’m sorry, Princess, but I don’t know what are talking about.
Me: You know it very well, Ivy! You took him from me for yourself ….
Ivy (interrupting me angrily):
- WHOAAAA! Whoaaaa! You speak nonsenses, Eva!!!
Me: No, I’m not! Admit that you made him to love only you! I want him back to love me as he used to …
Ivy (angrily): Listen, Eva, if you really believe that after all these years that we are together I took a man who loves us equally for myself, you are fucking pathetic and insane! You insulted me and hurt me very much! This fucking conversation is over!
She was very furious. She went to the balcony and started to kick kicking bag. (My Prince use to say this and do this when he is extremely angry. There is lot of him in her and of her in him!)
While I was standing in our bedroom crying and not knowing what to do, my Prince stood at the doorstep. He was very sad because he heard our quarrel. He told me to take a jacket and walk with him. I did it and we walked to our beach in silence. It was shiny night and the moon reflected on the sea surface. I stood near him anxiously waiting for him to start to talk sobbing quietly. When he started to talk, he talked calmly but sadly:
- Princess, I love you more than in the time we met. You are...
Me (interrupting him and sobbing): I don’t believe you because you love her more than me! She made you love her more than me! I want you to love me as you loved me before!
He put his hands around my hips and looked straight to my eyes. Then he said very calmly:
- Princess, you are angry at her without reason. She loves you with all her being. She would NEVER do anything to harm you or hurt you. She never did and she never will. She admires you and worship you. She can’t imagine us without you. She has very strong influence on me, but not in negative sense. She turned me only into the man I owe to be – the protector of the family who loves her, you and our children equally and more than myself. I’m very crazy about you; starting from your skinny sporty body, brown skin, tiny ass and small tits to your intelligence and wisdom. You turn me on very much and you are perfect for me! Honey, I don’t know how I can prove to you that Ivy and I love you endlessly. If you can only see it. …… Your jealousy and envy blinded your mind and heart. …… I can’t help you in this ….. You must solve it by yourself before it consumes you, my love. I love you and I always will regardless of your reactions.
He gently kissed my lips and started to walk up to our house. Oh, my … He opened my eyes and I suddenly realized that I was totally wrong and complete idiot. I immediately regretted my words. I rushed toward him, wrapped my hands around his neck and showered his face with kisses and many “I’m sorry, please forgive me”. I felt incredible passion for him and the need to make love to him. I told him that and we started to make love very passionately. I bit his face, neck and lips like crazy while he was penetrating me deeply and fully. He made me cum twice in very short period and I hungrily swallowed his hot and sweet love juice he emptied down my throat. When were done he took me into his arms and carried me home. We smooched all the time. My Prince went under the shower and in the children room while my Ivy and I enjoyed in making very passionate love. We both apologized to each other. I know now that I was very wrong and deluded. My luvs loves me without reserve and reproach. I was sorry that I ever let doubt, jealousy and envy to fill my heart. I also said to my mom that she was right and to my Fran that he was wrong. He deeply apologized. But, it wasn’t the end yet. Just as I share everything with my Fran, my Ivy shares everything with Antonio. He came to the Hotel next day during my break. It was a Valentine day and he brought nice bouquets of flowers to Lidija and me. Then we went to the Hotel bar. He was very serious. When we sat at the table he said to me:
- Listen, Skinny, Gorgeous and Prince doesn’t know about this conversation so you better keep it for yourself! …… I’m fucking tired of your affectation, selfishness and excesses. You are spoiled very beautiful woman but very stupid too who thinks only on herself! You hurt my Gorgeous and Prince very much. I know it wasn’t your first time, but I will make it your last time. Listen to me very carefully now: Gorgeous and Prince loves you more than you deserve and they will give their last drop of blood for you. Unlike you they are trying hard to keep your love triangle while you are trying to destroy it because you are sickly egocentric! Isee no reason why they love you so much! You aren’t worthy of them! If I wouldn’t love them and respect them very much I will finish with you right now. If you ever, remark my words, Skinny, if you fucking ever hurt them again I’m gonna fuck you up so hard that you won’t be able to distinct if it is your nightmare or reality. (Hearing these words, I was incredibly shocked and I started to cry). Antonio: Your tears means to me like dog shit, Skinny. I’m not falling on that crap! I’m telling you: hurt them again, and I will lock you up in mental institution! Nobody will know where you are and you won’t be able to see your son and my godchild for a long time! You know I’m capable to do it because I have friends and connections everywhere. I don’t care if your parents will hate me and I will survive Gorgeous’s and Prince’s wrath.
Getting up from the table he told me:
- It is time to grow up, Skinny! Watch your steps from now on, because I’m watching you!
Then he left while I was still crying at the table. His words scared me a lot. I was tempted to tell it to my Prince who would surely react and confront him, but I gave up from that idea knowing it will only make this situation worse. Thinking about his words that I will not see my son and Precious if I hurt my luvs again, I blasted in much heavier cry. But, in the same time Antonio’s words woke me up and I realized that he was telling the truth: I am selfish, egoistic and spoiled. I decided to change that because I don’t won’t lose my luvs and children. Besides, it will break our family apart. The price is too high to pay and I don’t want to gamble with my happiness. Dear readers, please, don’t let jealousy and envy to possess your heart. It brings nothing but trouble and misery to yourself and those who loves you. I knew it but, still, I let it grow in my heart. Thank heavens my Prince helped me to see the root of my problems and helped me to deal with and Antonio stopped me from further destroying of my family.