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  1. Deviously Vanilla v0.2.9 - Re-upload View File This mod is up for adoption. I am not an original mod author and I can't provide any support, sorry. Though the mod has been tested by me and seems to work perfectly fine. All credit goes to the magnificent Targultoon - original mod author. A re-upload of the last known version of Targultoon's Deviously Vanilla mod! Mod features: - Extends and DDfies some vanilla Skyrim quests. - A couple of Daedric artifacts will become a lot more lively. - Hot dialogue, humiliation, blackmail, semiconsensual sex and device equips are present. - As lore friendly as a DD mod can be. - Injects devious devices into the stocks of some vanilla merchants and enables devices selling (if I remember it right). - All features are detectable and tweakable via MCM. Requirements: - All DLC - SexLab - Sexlab Aroused - Devious Devices v5+ Optional integrations: - Sexlab Soulutions + Sexlab Confabulation (Only together, no separate support) It is recommended to install this mod at the beginning of the game (before the The Way of The Voice quest). But nothing critical if not. (Kinda) permission and source: Thank you @Zaflis for keeping the mod. Thank you @DOS213 for help in finding. All credit goes to the magnificent Targultoon - original mod author. Submitter Black Justicar Submitted 06/15/2022 Category Quests Requires All DLC, Sexlab, Sexlab Aroused, Devious Devices v5+ Special Edition Compatible No  
  2. Hey, it's me. Destana. Before I talk about going and seeing Ulfric, I decided I would clear up some logistical data. - If I am still traveling, how does the baby get fed? Well, I learned a very useful spell named Sophomoric Teleportation. Meant to be a way to transport goods in containers (chests, etc) to the user's home, I just squeeze my boob into a bottle and transport it back to Honeyside in Riften. Damien is old enough to drink from a small bottle with a fake nipple; a couple months. I have been spending most of my time within reach to Riften except for the Battle of Solitude and now my trip to Windhelm. But, of course, how it always goes with me is I go to a place with certain intentions and I get embroiled in something much bigger. - Tattoos are rare, but they're certainly do-able. They take a long time, a lot of artistry. And many Nords have lots of them. They're done by slowly poking (dot by dot) a needle into the outer layer of your skin with ash or similar material. I think the next one I get is the full back. Because I have a lot of time to waste... again. So I was in the palace, looking at him from across his hall. He looked up as I approached. "Stormblade! I hope this day finds you well!" Ulfric shouted to me. "Hey Ulfric," I said meekly, not bothering to refer to him as 'Jarl' or 'Future High King,' 'the One and Future King,' or whatever. We were good friends. "What brings you to Windhelm?" He asked, "Sampling the mead and the culture?" "Well, I was asked to solve a murder on my way in. But I'm no copper," I smiled, "But no, I have ... news for you." He raised an eyebrow, "What sort of news?" "I'm pregnant," I replied, unabashedly. "Congratu ~" "Yeah, you guessed it," I said. "So what does this mean for us? You're married, are you not?" He replied calmly, in even tones, as he always did, "I knew I probably shouldn't've fucked with another man's wife. Foolish, like a young man." In truth, Ulfric had met Sanguine a few times on the battlefield and knew he was an excellent warrior, but like anyone else, he had no idea of his true nature. "Sam is alright. He's a different beast," I replied, then said, "I am going to keep it." "So do you want support? I know you're fairly wealthy, but not Jarl or future High King wealthy," he said. "I don't need anything. I don't want to force you to marry me. In fact, I don't want to marry you at all (no offense)." "None taken." "I just wanted to let you know. If you want to have any involvement, tell me and I'll make it happen. But if not," I shrugged, "That's fine too. I would like us to remain friends, though." "Alright, friend. I'm bored. The moot still has not met. What are you up to these days?" I shrugged again, "Well, I'm about to go perform some public service for Solitude so I can buy land. I friggin hate Solitude. When I got to Skyrim I went to prison there for a little bit for killing Thalmor and freeing a Stormcloak captive." "That... makes a lot of sense how your tale got here," Ulfric raised an eyebrow, "Now I see why you wanted to take back Solitude for Skyrim so bad. And why you hate the Thalmor." "Among other reasons," I said, "I am a Redguard. We kept fighting them for five more years after the Empire gave up." "Hmm... What kind of public service?" He asked. "Well I know for a fact they need the Wolf Skull Cave cleared out because some guy was asking for it from Dragon Bridge," "You do this kind of stuff all the time, don't you?" He asked. "Pretty much. This is pretty light work compared to my normal killing dragons and fighting wars." He chuckled, "Are you not concerned with the health of... the child?" "It's pretty early," I replied, "I was just going to use summons and rage spells. I learned quite a lot from the college mages that I haven't had a chance to test yet." "Alright," he nodded. Then he stood to his feet, "Let me help you out." "Help how?" "I'm going to come with you," he grabbed his axe and put it on his belt, "Don't tell Galmar." I smiled, dumbfounded, "Are you sure this is okay? You're kind of important." "You might say I'm essential," Ulfric winked, "But am I Jarl or not? Besides, you should see examples of shouts from a real pro who actually uses them for combat, unlike the Greybeards. Think of it as Dragonborn training." "Don't you start," I shook my head. So yeah, the most important man in Skyrim came with me to do a random dungeon quest. We took what we had on hand and walked out the front door. "Where are you going, my Jarl? And without guards," Galmar was standing near the brazier out in front. "Old bear, I'm merely going out to stretch my legs," Ulfric responded. "We should probably bring him along," I whispered to Ulfric. "Out of the question, my Jarl," Galmar folded his arms. "Not to worry, Galmar. I have the legendary hero right here to protect me. I'm no slouch with an axe myself." "Perhaps you should come along to keep him safe," I suggested. Galmar finally growled at us, "All right. I'll come with you. But I'll have you know you endanger all of Skyrim with your antics!" "Yeah, well. Not the first time," I smirked. We traveled through the night and half the next day (to the mountains above Solitude) then we rested until nightfall. "Stormblade, do you always approach at night when you're alone? Not very honorable," Galmar asked. "Galmar, do you know what I do while I'm not working with the Stormcloaks?" I asked. "I don't know, shout at dragons or something?" Galmar asked. Ulfric laughed. I think he had an idea, though the full depth of my depravity probably escaped him. "I'm the guild master of the Thieves Guild of Riften," I smirked, "A mage. And in some cases, I work with the Dark Brotherhood. I'm not exactly the honorable type." I readied a spell, then I cast 'Summon Inigo' which the cat had gifted me during our travels together. "What? Where?" He asked, "Hello friend. I'm glad you chose to summon me after I finished peeing." "Sorry, Inigo. Could I use your help today?" I asked. "Of course. I did say you could call upon me anytime," he slipped on the elven armor I'd found for him, "What's the job?" "Simple dungeon clear," I replied, loading a bolt in my crossbow. We swept through the first part of the dungeon. Strangely, found a draugr about to sexually assault a necromancer (I wonder if he summoned more than he could handle). We reached a deeper part, filled with collapsed towers and walls, which allowed our enemies plenty of vantage points to shoot at us. I headed up the rear, shooting bolts while the boys rushed in. At one point the boys were fighting a couple draugr and I stepped past to peer over an overlook. A draugr was there, waiting for me and he staggered me with a shout. "You call that a shout?" I furrowed my brow at him, took a deep breath and shouted back, "FUS - RO!" And it blew him off the overlook. Ulfric chuckled as he rushed ahead. We had some fun wrecking those guys, including a group of summoners at the end, trying to summon Potema. From what Ulfric said she was an ancient queen of Skyrim, master of necromancy. We said our goodbyes and I made my way back to Solitude. I saw Falk Firebeard in the courtyard, walking home - as it was late at night now, and he gladly accepted my tribute and thanked me. "Dang, should've asked those guys to join me for dinner... early breakfast," I sighed, going to the Bards' college to snag a free bed there. "Oh wow," I said to the cook as I walked into the basement, "You guys remodeled. These used to be a bunch of beds in a hallway. Now we get rooms?? With a desk! This is as good as the college of Winterhold. Not as roomy, but the accommodations are definitely better." "Who are you again?" He asked. "Oh, yeah, I joined a while back," I replied, "Looks like you guys designated me a room." He blinked, "I have literally never seen you. It's been a year since you stepped foot in this building." "I needed to go out and get practical experience," I said, "I needed some stories to tell." He pursed his lips, "Fair. I think Viarmo will probably want to see you." I sighed, "Maybe in a couple days. I need to talk to the Jarl first." I took a few hour nap and woke up late morning - enough time for courtly affairs to die down a bit. I went to the Blue Palace and approached Fair Elisif. "Thank you for your help. Are you seeking Thanehood? I know you've been named Thane in Riften and Whiterun. I wonder - would you do one more thing for me?" "Sure, my Jarl. What do you need?" I asked. She leaned in and whispered to me, "Meet me tonight in my bedchambers." I smiled. I took the time to sleep some more, eat and drink, pump and transport and take the first two assessments to be considered a master Bard of the college. Then I showed up to the Blue Palace after hours. "You are... expected," Falk said as I approached the Jarl's room. He opened the door for me, "Mind your manners. We all know you're strong, but don't think I won't come after you if you make one false move." Falk walked in after me and stood in the corner, arms folded. Jarl Elisif was sitting at her table and bid me sit across from her. "Good evening, Stormblade," she said. "What can I do for you?" I asked. "Well, I actually have two requests," she replied. "People tend to pile quests on me. I can take it," I stared into her eyes. She was, definitely fair. "I'll name you Thane if you show me pleasure. It's been so long since Torygg died," she said, "You're renowned for your 'skills." "I'll do it. Gladly," I smiled, "What's your second request?" "You can do this after you do whatever you need to do - I assume you want to buy the plot of land?" "Yes." "I request you deliver Torygg's warhorn to the Shrine of Talos, northeast of Whiterun. It would honor me greatly," she replied. "I'll do it. But I have a counter request," I said. "What do you wish of the Jarl of Solitude?" She asked. "You may know me as a stormcloak officer, but do you remember where else you might've seen me?" I asked. She shook her head, puzzled. I pulled the Crusader's Cuirass down, revealing the roadmap of scars marking my body. "I... I don't understand," she said. "I was Solitude's prisoner. A little over a year ago. I was a lot weaker and possibly more headstrong then," I could feel emotions welling up inside me, like rage, "That jailer you employed back then - where is he?" "I have to be honest, Stormblade. He was sadistic and cruel. We've sworn off his service in Solitude. But I hear he sells his services to some of the other holds. Namely..." I prayed none of the holds I actually liked. "...Riften..." Damn. "... Falkreath, Morthal and Whiterun. The other holds are too small or too principled. And not Markarth. They have Cidhna Mine, which is way worse." I sighed, "Well I'm glad you swore it off. You seem like an honorable lady." No more words were said. I pulled up my armor and she pulled off her dress. I gave her pleasure, sure. I'd always been good at that. And I asked for no reciprocation. When we were done, I got the Horn from her. I slept at the Bard's college again and set out to the Shrine of Talos. It was good to know we reestablished his worship here, even if it did lead to a lot of conflict and death. Even our former enemies were Talos worshippers at heart. I approached to find a man. "Who are you?" I said, drawing my blade at him. "You'll regret being here!" Another voice stabbed at us. The figure picked up a sword from the monument in front of him and we rushed into battle. It was four Thalmor! One wizard, whom I dispatched handily, while the man dealt with the three others. He turned, and I recognized the regalia of a Jarl, but not his face. He returned the sword to the grave. Then he turned to me, "I am called Torygg." "I've seen stranger things," I said, sheathing my sword, "Well, you do know you're dead, right?" "Yeah. Ulfric shouted at me and killed me with his sword," he said, "I've been waiting at this grave for someone... perhaps you. I worry for my wife." "Why? She seems to have it under control." "I'm watching her for a while before I pass on. Now I don't have to," Torygg said. "Why do you say that?" "I need to make a request," he said, "It was you who helped Ulfric to his goal. Now I request you look after her." I folded my arms. Maybe this man thought since I'd pleasured her I had some designs on forming a relationship with her. Really, though, it was a simple ask. "Sure. I can do my best," I said. I was pretty sure she had dozens of guards and hundreds of armed men to do that for her. But I would lend a hand if I could. "You love her still, even in death?" "We mortals are only flesh and blood. Our hearts beat. You understand. Take care of her." I smiled and nodded. I returned to Solitude. When I walked up the stairs to the Jarl's court area, Erikur pointed his finger at me, "So I see you've decided to take up necromancy." "What are you talking about?" I asked. "I have eyes everywhere. I had a man follow you," he replied. "What's the matter, Erikur? Get too close to your crush?" I chided, "I don't really care, to be honest, but I do want to speak the truth." "Hold your tongue, necromancer!" Jarl Elisif shouted, "Erikur told me you've been speaking to my husband. Did it involve sacrifices? Depraved rituals?" "Elisif..." I started. "No more words, charlatan!" Elisif shouted at me. Sybille Stentor, the court wizard, spoke from under her hood, "Surely you're not that naive, my lady. There is no necromancy at work here." "There is necromancy, and the Jarl knows it!" Erikur shouted back. "Silence, you ignorant cur! The real question is why you're even here!" Sybil yelled, "It is possible for spirits to contact their loved ones." "Do you really believe that?" Erikur asked, "The law cannot be bent for personal relationships." "What law?" I asked, "Necromancy is legal. But that's one type of magic I've never practiced. I'm all about consent and it stinks of the body having control taken away. Raped. You know, Erikur, like you did to me when I was in prison here?!" I could feel by voice booming, whether I intended to or not. Not a shout, per se. But I was getting pissed at this fool and his petty lust for Elisif. Maybe this is who Torygg wanted me to protect her from. "Calm. This is just a misunderstanding," Jarl Elisif said, evenly. She peered over to the corner, like she was signaling me to follow her. After a long moment of consideration, Elisif joined me. She whispered into my ear, "What did Torygg say?" "He asked me to help look after you." "You can have your title, by the way. Visit me after hours, if you like," Elisif sighed, "Don't get any ideas though. I'm still Jarl, and I'll remain alone." "I'm married. And pregnant," I replied. Elisif smiled weakly, "Congratulations." A little sad, maybe. This lady was complex. I think she did have some kind of interest in me. I turned to Falk Firebeard, "How much for the land?" "The Windstad plot? 5000 gold. If you want a property in the city, that'll be 25000 gold." I mentally counted out my coins, "Gods, that's expensive. I don't think I have enough for that. I'll take Windstad. I can cut down trees and find ore myself. Guess I'll need to learn how to make nails and struts and things." He handed me a deed. On my way out I turned and said, "Besides, I wouldn't be caught dead in Solitude if I could help it." I turned the corner, following Sybil. She was laying in bed... in the late morning. "Thanks for helping me back there," I said, "Why'd you do that?" "Curiosity. I know what you are," he replied. "What's that?" Mage? Dragonborn? Assassin? Freak beast? Demon-kisser? "A free spirit. Want to buy a woman a drink sometime?" She asked. "Do you take your blood on the rocks or straight-up?" I said back. "So you figured it out?" "Yeah, you're a vampire. Your eyes are glowing gold. I can see them even with your hood on. Or is everybody here that oblivious?" I smirked. Anyway, I decided to go to the Winking Skeever to relax for a while, play lute (which I had never actually done in this town) and mingle. Lisette was there. From our one or two interactions around town, I knew she was a bard. The other bards usually have a lot of information. "Care for a drink?" I asked, offering her ale. "Always good to see a fellow bard," she replied, taking the mug. "You know, the people in court are acting awfully weird. Do you know anything about that? Ever played for the Jarl here?" She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Not here," and led me upstairs. "So how about that Erikur?" I asked, folding my arms. "He said he'd conquer me as a 'true nord," she said. "Give me a break," I sneered, "I had him whimpering on the ground when I got on him. Of course, does that make me no better than him? I dunno." I decided I would take a nap at the Bard College. As I turned to leave, I noted Corpulus Vinius walking into the room Lisette had just been hanging out by with me. Huh. It's weird to think this, but it's kinda neat that other people besides me have sex lives. I donated a coin to a beggar, and talked to a few passersby about recent events. Before I could get to the college, though, Erikur walked up behind me on the street. "It's you, the rabblerouser. It's smells out here." "What brings you out of the palace to mingle with the common filth?" I asked. "We all have our flaws. Mine is that women can't get enough of me." About that time, Lisette came out the front door of the Skeever, "Greetings, thane. What do you need?" I raised an eyebrow, thinking she just saw me, then realizing she was talking to Erikur. "Just wanted to get a good look at you. And I like what I see." "I'm sorry?" Lisette asked. "It's okay. Where can we go for a little privacy?" Erikur said back. "I'm... not about to do that with you," Lisette folded her arms. "Don't toy with me! I may just have to seize my opportunity with both hands!" "You're a pig," Lisette said flatly, "It was an honor to have you as a patron, but I will not sleep with you. I'm not a common prostitute!" "Don't you dare walk away from me you slut!" Erikur shouted. I could see where the poison in the court was. I could feel my face beginning to twitch. I didn't particularly want to get another bounty today. As a shrill reminder, a guard walked right past us as I was figuring out just how to disembowel Erikur without anybody seeing. I calmed down as Erikur started to walk away. Lisette went to stand by ____, who I'd been talking to earlier as she stood against a post. As I approached, I said, "It seems we both have a problem with that blowhard. Got any dirt on him?" "No, I couldn't. Even if he is horrible." "C'mon, even for a fellow bard?" I winked. She smiled, "That's right! You are a bard. And a hero! He should be more respectful to me, but also to you!" "I'm not so great. Just good with the stabby thing," I smiled, "You're pretty cool yourself, Liz." "Oh stop it." "No really. And a good singing voice. I mostly play. I hate singing," I said, pulling out my Lute and starting to play. I continued to speak in a sing-song voice, "Seems like Erikur and you used to have an amicable relationship. But not... a-ny-more." "Yeah, well. Wealthy people support the Bard College. Some wealthy people ask the lady bards for 'favors." "So it's prostit-ution then?" "Puts it in perspective when you say it like that," she sighed, looking down. "Let me see if I can be a little," I strummed, "...persuasive." I jogged down the street and caught up with him. Instead of breaking his face, I decided I'd do something more clever. "What do you want?" He asked grumpily, still walking. "So about Lisette..." "That little tease! She get what's coming to her!" "You know she's a graduate, right? Free to roam? Not beholden to the bard college?" "What do you mean?" Erikur asked, "By the eight, where did you hear that?" "Nine," I corrected, "That's how this works. She's a journeyman. The deal is for one of our bards. She's not one of our bards." "No, I guess not," he sulked. "Maybe how you treat them is a reason to rethink this arrangement," I said. "That won't be necessary. I'll treat them with respect," he replied, "Though, it is time to find a replacement. For... performance purposes, I mean." "How about Illida?" I asked. "Too young and inexperienced." "Pantea? Though she's an instructor," I said. I can't believe I was being this man's pimp. "She has a beautiful singing voice. Please, see what you can do," he smirked. I blinked, turned, and walked away. Did this man actually think I was going to do shit for him? People born with money are crazy. One day they're stepping on your neck and the next they're asking you to do a favor like they deserve it. Gotta be crazy. I was half considering murdering him in his home later tonight. I decided I was through with Solitude for now. It was time to build my house! At this point, later afternoon, I traveled to Winterhold in about a day and a half (living off the land) and bought an improved Telekinesis spell tome. I ventured south to Riften, which took another day, slept, nursed the baby, said hi to my people and told them where the new plot of land would be. "Meet me there in a few days once things are in order here," I said, "Oh yeah!" I walked over to the orphanage, approaching Constance, "I'll take your finest orphan, please." She screwed up her face, then laughed at me, "Who would you like to adopt?" "My husband has his eye on Luna," I replied. I looked over to her, sitting on her bed. Then I walked over. "Hi," I said. "Hi! I know you!" She said. "You're making a mistake..." "What?" Runa said, puzzled. "Sorry, joke. Anyway, tell me about yourself." "Well, I've been here as long as I can remember," she started to whisper, "Aventus told me you were the one who... you know..." I raised both eyebrows, saying nothing. "Thank you. Grelod was so cruel," Runa said, "Not that the boys here are much better. They all pick on me. Make me do all the chores. Call me names." "You're the only girl, huh?" I sat down next to her. "Yeah," she replied. "I know what it's like being the only girl in a man's game sometimes," I said back, "How'd you like to be adopted?" Her face lit up with glee, "Really? You'd adopt me?" "Yeah. You're going to have to put up with my husband and housecarl for a few days without me, though," I stood, and took her hand. I nodded to Constance, who handed me the meager papers which I signed with her pen. "You're an adventurer, right?" She asked as we crossed the bridge in Riften town. "Yeah. I go out on my own a lot," I said, "Sometimes with friends. You'll probably meet the crew sooner or later." "Where you going this time?" She asked. "I just bought land in the northwest. Over by Solitude. I'm going to build a house out there," I replied, "That's going to be our new home." "Wow, all by yourself?" "I'll lay the foundation. When San... Sam and my new housecarl get there, they're going to do some of the work," I scratched my chin. I'd never built a house. But I had an armful of books on the subject. I figured if I got enough help, it wouldn't be too bad. "And..." I said, opening the door to Honeyside, "Hey, Inigo." "My friend, how have you been? Is it time for another adventure?" He asked, sitting at the table across from Sanguine. Runa blinked, "Is... is that man a daedra?" I stared at her, then at Sanguine for a few seconds. Finally I said, "He's the good kind." "What gives?" I whispered angrily, "No disguise?" He shrugged, "I have it on." "If it helps you," Inigo said, "I see a Breton." I shrugged it off, "To answer your question, Inigo, I need your help. Do you think you can round up the old crew? I need to build a house. I'm paying, of course. You know where the Windstad property is?" He nodded. "Iona?" "I am your sword AND your shield." "Right," I replied, "Could you look after Damien and Runa for a few days? I'll be back once the foundation is laid. Here's the plan: I'm going to learn how to make all the things I need to from Balimund. Inigo will go gather the crew. Sanguine will bring the kids to Windstad in about four days. Then we'll get started with the real build. Now, this is going to probably take a few months. And if anybody sees my Windstad housecarl, put him to work if I'm not around." "What am I gonna do?" Runa asked. "You get to watch us work, I guess. Do whatever kids do," I shrugged. Then I was off to talk to Balimund, talked to a lumber mill, some suppliers, and was off to the site. I showed up and there was already a stack of wood, a chest of ore, piles of hewn stone and a drafting table waiting for me. Perfect. I set up a large tent that would be my home for a little while. Then I heard the roar of a dragon. "Godsdammit," I sighed, taking out my crossbow, "I should probably do something about this dragon business."
  3. Version 0.2.9

    12,766 downloads

    This mod is up for adoption. I am not an original mod author and I can't provide any support, sorry. Though the mod has been tested by me and seems to work perfectly fine. All credit goes to the magnificent Targultoon - original mod author. A re-upload of the last known version of Targultoon's Deviously Vanilla mod! Mod features: - Extends and DDfies some vanilla Skyrim quests. - A couple of Daedric artifacts will become a lot more lively. - Hot dialogue, humiliation, blackmail, semiconsensual sex and device equips are present. - As lore friendly as a DD mod can be. - Injects devious devices into the stocks of some vanilla merchants and enables devices selling (if I remember it right). - All features are detectable and tweakable via MCM. Requirements: - All DLC - SexLab - Sexlab Aroused - Devious Devices v5+ Optional integrations: - Sexlab Soulutions + Sexlab Confabulation (Only together, no separate support) It is recommended to install this mod at the beginning of the game (before the The Way of The Voice quest). But nothing critical if not. (Kinda) permission and source: Thank you @Zaflis for keeping the mod. Thank you @DOS213 for help in finding. All credit goes to the magnificent Targultoon - original mod author.
  4. Hey, it's Destana. I'm a vampire now. I have a mission to kill the emperor very soon and I need to kill the Gourmet to steal his clothes. My first thought was that the Dawnguard, being slayers of vampires, know more about vampires than probably anybody else. So I thought I'd pay them a visit. I rifled through my junk and found a full helm and slapped it on. It seemed to go with my Crusader armor. Make me look very paladin-like. And also, hid my big GLOWING GOLDEN EYES. As I approached I noticed it was a sparse tower, with a few men training. Another man approached on the path at the same time as me. "You here to join the Dawnguard too?" He asked. "Yeah," maybe a lie, maybe not, "Killing vampires is fine, but I was wondering if anybody has ever found a cure? Could bring all of them back to normal." "A cure? Yeah!" "Oh, you know something? I'd be..." "A swift death!" I hung my head and walked inside. A stern man looked at me as I approached, "Who are you and why are you here?" "I heard you needed people to hunt down vampires," I said. I gathered from other conversations his name was Isren. "Yeah! I see word's finally getting out." "What are you planning to do?" I asked. "First thing is get this old fort back into shape. Right now a vampire could practically walk right in," he said. I smirked nervously, though the full helm hid the look. "I do have a job, if you're looking. Vigilant Tolen was telling me about a cave the Vigilants were poking around in, related to recent vampire attacks. Dimhollow, was it?" "Yeah. Supposed to be a long-lost vampire artifact down there. Our hall was attacked, our order decimated and we can't support such operations anymore," Tolen said. "Alright, I'll check it out," I said. But, really, I didn't have time to go to the very northwest edge of Skyrim. This was a waste of time. But the helm seemed to fool everyone. I could feel the hunger starting to return, though. I hopped on Shadowmere and rode to the Sanctuary. Now it was late afternoon of Day 11 and I headed for Markarth for Anton Virane, the man who knew about the Gourmet. I walked into Understone Keep to what looked like kitchens. Anton had a few cooks working for him and there were no doors to distract prying eyes and ears, so some actions were probably off the table, lest I be arrested. I poked him in the shoulder. "Yes, yes, for the last time, I am a Breton. Not a reachman," he said. "Home of amazing Breton cuisine," I said. "What do you want?" He turned towards me from his stew-pot. "The Gourmet. Where is he? Who is he?" "What? No way I'd betray his trust," Anton said back. "Well, what if I have ways of convincing you?" I asked. "Seriously, I can't see any part of you through that armor and helm. Are you trying to seduce me or something? Are you even a woman?" He chuckled. "Oh, believe me. I'm a woman. I'm a huge fan of the Gourmet. And chefs in general. How about I give you a taste of what I plan to do to the Gourmet when I find him?" I asked. "That's... tempting," he looked at his staff, then whispered, "I'm sure he won't mind if I tell you where he is, if you do for him what you're going to do for me. I assume sex, right?" "Yeah!" I said. Gods, I am out of practice at this. "His name is Balagog, an orc. He's been staying at the Nightgate Inn, by Windhelm. Been in a holding pattern since the Emperor cancelled his last trip to Skyrim." I took him to the alcove nearby where the cooking staff slept. Damn Markarth and their lack of doors. I sat on his face, and then I snapped his neck. One of his cooking staff heard it and came running, but I was charging out of there. Luckily, the guards didn't respond or didn't care because just at this moment the Lost Valley Forsworn were attacking with a giant and mammoth (these guys are such a bother). I slipped past and rode to the Inn where the Gourmet was holed up. Now it was evening, about 8. I walked around until I finally found him, in an unusual room in the basement. He was fast asleep. "Don't mind if I do," I whispered. Then I realized I just needed to kill him and take his place. So I drank his blood, draining him to death. Easy. I threw his body in a sack to hide the body after grabbing his Writ. I got an immediate transfer of knowledge that must've been afforded to a vampire's first drink. I now knew, that if I drank the blood of certain powerful, gifted individuals, I would develop my vampiric powers even further. These people were known as 'blue bloods,' because of their powerful nature they tended to become leaders of men and mer. I also felt immediate power because this was the first person I'd killed by draining. I felt a power of the blood, like magic, coursing through my veins. I recognized a power similar to magicka, and wondered if a special kind of blood magic could be learned from doing this to many people. I put that knowledge away for further use. As I exited, I noticed the guards were fighting with a dragon, but I figured they could use the training and kept on. (Am I getting more callous?) Anyway, I rode down the road a little bit and dumped the body in a pond. I traveled back to the sanctuary, arriving at about midnight. I woke up Festus Krex and told him the details. "Have you seen Runa?" I asked him after he was done grumbling. "She's been up for awhile," he pointed, "Eating, I think." I walked into the serving room and sat down next to her, "Hey kid! How'd the last two weeks treat you?" "Did alright. Mostly killing bandits and wolves," she took a long drink of water, "Found a new greatsword, got a backpack, ring and necklace. Decided I would take your advice to heart and started wearing my Shrouded Boots and actually trying to sneak. What about you? And why are you wearing that clunky helm?" "Well, no use trying to hide it," I pulled off the helm, "At least for a while, I'm a vampire." Runa stared at me for a moment, then she took a bite, "That sucks." I chuckled, then I said, "All the same, I went ahead and killed the Gourmet a few hours ago. The Emperor should be arriving today. I managed to scrounge up a chef's outfit from my junk, but I think you should be the one to take point this time." "Really?" Her eyes lit up. "Yeah. What with my big glowing eyes, you'd have to be an idiot not to notice. That's verrrrry suspicious. So you're going to be the one who preps the dish. Astrid gave me Jarrin Root to put in the Potage le Magnifique," I explained, "Just act natural. You have a winning charm. No one will suspect a thing." "What about you?" "I'm going to secure your escape route. There's a passage and a bridge I once used to sneak into Solitude. We're going to be running out that way," I explained handing her the outfit and all the gear needed, "I stay hidden on the bridge while you do the deed." We made our way over to Solitude on Shadowmere. It was a cloudy, rainy morning. I went up the backway while Runa walked into the front gate. She ducked into the Inn to change into her Chef outfit, then headed to Castle Dour. There were a lot of Imperial guards here, dispatched to protect the Emperor, no doubt. She walked up to Commander Maro. He looked younger than she'd thought he would. "Stop right there! This area is off limits right now," he rebuffed. She handed him the Writ. "By order of ... his eminence. By the Gods, the Gourmet! By your clothes, I should've realized!" He said, "Right this way! Straight to the kitchen." She walked in, Gianna, the Dour cook already having started on the meal, "Please, I don't need any more supplies." "You misunderstand, for I am... the Gourmet!" She said, with some panache. So proud. "Ah! You look a little young to be... But no matter. When I heard the Gourmet was brought in to cook for the Emperor, I was overjoyed to work with someone of your caliber. I didn't imagine you'd be a Nord, or so young. Where in the world did you learn to cook like that?" "Yes, of course," Runa said, "I am known as a cooking prodigy. I appear young because I am. Some people have a calling to magic. I am a wizard of spice. But, enough of this, I am here to cook!" "I've already started your famous dish! But the cookbook only says so much. What else should we add?" Runa looked at the ingredients on the table. She had actually been cooking for the family for years when opportunity allowed it. She responded, "A sweetroll, first. Allow it to melt in the broth." "How decadent!" "A splash of mead, then season it with Nirnroot." "I would've imagined. I use Nirnroot all the time," Gianna responded. "Anything else?" "Diced Horker Meat," Runa said. "Love it!" Gianna poured the already-chopped scraps in, "Seems done." "One more thing," Runa produced the Jarrin Root from her sleeve, "A secret ingredient. This is a rare herb from the far south." "Hmm... alright. You're the expert," she smiled, "Alright. Done. I'll carry the stew pot. It's been an honor, Gourmet." Runa smiled. Her job was done. She followed Gianna to the serving table. There he was, sitting at the head of the table. Emperor Titus Mede II. "Ah! Finally. As Emperor, I of course reserve the right of first taste," the Emperor said. Which... don't emperors usually have official tasters? This is why. Runa slowly moved towards the back door as he tasted the dish. Smart girl. "What's this? I feel strange..." the Emperor said, starting to waiver. "Treason! The Gourmet and the Chef have poisoned the stew!" The guard shouted, and they all drew their swords, but Runa was out the back door, where I could see her now. "Sorry, Gianna!" Runa yelled as she threw off the Chef's tunic, revealing her... revealing 'armor.' And we ran for the tower behind us. A slow clap issued from the tower heights. "That man is by far, the most insufferable decoy the emperor has ever employed," the voice said. It was Commander Maro. I gritted my teeth. There were a cadre of guards in front of us. We drew our swords. "Surprised? So was I when a member of your 'family' came to us with the plan. We worked out a deal. I get you, and the brotherhood gets to continue existing. But, I changed my mind. You killed my son. So I'm going to kill you, and my men are going to torch your precious Sanctuary. Kill them, make sure there's nothing left," he said, walking down the stairs. "This... is an insult," I said quietly, "Three men?" Runa roared and charged at the archer, bypassing the two sword-and-board boys. She slashed him apart in one blow, while I felled one of the others. The third man chased after Runa, who was wearing a lighter-looking armor, I guess. As he turned the corner, though, she immediately brought her new greatsword down on his shoulder, then his head, and once more to fell him. She raised an eyebrow, "Not even a challenge. And those guys didn't even follow us through the kitchen." "That's my girl," I said, "No time to gloat though. We have a traitor to find and some Imperials to stab." We ran down to the back entrance and hopped on Shadowmere, pushing him to his limits. I could tell he was loving all the murder and destruction we were spreading around. When we reached the sanctuary and hopped off Shadowmere, the beast charged into battle ahead of us, trampling an Imperial and knocking down another. Runa rushed in behind him and immediately beheaded a Penitus agent. We passed by two more agent corpses and Festus Krex, filled with arrows. I never liked the guy, but these guys were going to pay nevertheless. We rushed in to find the sanctuary ablaze. Runa charged in headlong, without thought to her safety, while I stayed back and fired arrows. The group of soldiers has pinned down Arnbjorn in his werewolf form. Runa rushed up and got the drop on one, beheading him. Arnie claw-swiped another, throwing him into the flames. I pierced one with arrows, and Runa got the final one, impaling him on her greatsword. Shor's Bones, the girl was in a rage! "Know where anybody else is?!" I shouted to him, but he could only growl. Runa rushed forward, toward screams, only to be rebuffed by the flames. She took a side passage and found another agent about to manhandle Alexstraza - a little orphan and new addition to the sanctuary, so she sliced him up. These guys must be their throwaway agents, because they were being cut down like chaff. Or maybe the brothers and sisters had already given them a fight to remember! Runa rushed ahead of us, calling out for other survivors only to find Nazir tangling with two more agents. Runa darted up behind them and stabbed one of them in the back, and that was all the distraction Nazir needed to behead the other with his scimitar. "These fools think we're amateurs at killing!" Nazir growled. I finally caught up with Runa and shouted, "We need to get out of here soon! The blazes are going to kill us all!" "Agreed!" Nazir shouted, and there was an explosion, cutting off the path we'd come in through. Arnbjorn was trapped in the previous chamber, but he was doubling back as we spoke. Runa rushed ahead of all of us, as if a voice was showing her the way. When we caught her again, she'd jumped into the casket with the Night Mother and closed the lid. And then, all hell broke loose. There was an explosion that blew the casket through the stain-glass window into the water and we all realized - the water! It looked like we were trapped in here by fire now, but water would be our salvation. I threw water breathing potions to Arnbjorn, Nazir, Alexstraza and Babette (who'd been trapped, but been freed by Arnbjorn while I chased Runa). We drank and we jumped, huddling around the Night Mother's casket under the water. It was a while before the flames abated, but they consumed everything. Arnbjorn and Nazir hefted the casket out of the water. I explored to see what or who'd been left in the blaze. I knew Festus was dead. But no Gabriella either. Arnbjorn disappeared into the ashes and dust, human again. He looked like suspected the betrayer, but didn't want to face the facts. Nazir pried open the Night Mother's tomb, Runa coming to with a start. "Thank the gods you're alive!" Nazir shouted. Runa coughed, "Where's my mom?" "She went to check for survivors," Babette said. "Astrid's still here. The Night Mother told me!" Runa said, "Follow me!" When she walked into the room, I was already staring daggers at her. She was lying there, black circle of candles drawn around her, flesh charred and disgusting from being burned alive. But still, she was alive. "You're... alive!" Astrid choked out, "Shhh... I have much to say and I'm dying. I'm sorry... it was me. I betrayed us in return for this brotherhood... going back to the way it was. I was such a fool. You were the best of us." "You're a traitor," Runa said. "But you're alive! Now there's a chance," Astrid explained, "That's why I did this..." She was referring to the circle around her, "I performed the Black Sacrament, using myself as the components. You lead the brotherhood now, as it was intended. Take my blade. Finish the contract. First, kill me to complete... the ritual." "Alright," Runa's lip curled up in rage, she picked up the Blade of Woe. "Hey, Listener," I said, putting her hand on my shoulder, "Let me do it." She nodded gravely, handing me the dagger. Can't really two-hand a dagger (unless you're a weirdo). She knew she was becoming enveloped by the rage and could tell I was trying to save her the pain of having to kill yet another friend. I stepped forward. Of course, I also had an ulterior motive. I kneeled down and bit into the only bit of uncharred flesh I could find, draining her of blood completely. I felt the 'blue blood' power and the hemomancy begin to take shape. It was at this point that I was considering staying a vampire, on purpose, for a while. "If I hadn't heard it with my own ears, I wouldn't have believed it," Babette said, "I can't believe Astrid would have done this to us." "By the gods," Nazir shook his head. Runa returned to the coffin. When I showed up, she was nodding. She turned to me. "The assassination is still on," she said. I smirked, "That old bitch sticks to it, eh?" "Amaund Motierre knows where the real emperor is. We're to meet him at the Bannered Mare." Nazir was walking down the stairs at that time, "Seriously? We're completely destroyed." "We'll find a way," I said. "I know you will!" Nazir replied, "Go find this guy. See what he says. When you've done the deed, meet us at the Dawnstar Sanctuary. This place is not fit for us anymore." We nodded to each other. It was back on. We hurried over to Whiterun, and realizing I hadn't slept (and no longer needed to) and she was full of adrenaline (though she'd had a several hour nap in a coffin) I asked, "Do you need to stop off for a while at the Mare?" "Let's talk to him first - then we'll see," Runa said, her eyes determined. She walked in to the back room he was in first, "Amaund. Sithis is owed a soul." "By the gods! I heard about your Sanctuary. I figured you were all dead," he replied, "I had nothing to do with that! I wanted the real emperor dead." "Where is he?" I asked. "You mean after all that, you're still going to perform the assassination?" He asked, bewildered. She nodded, silently. "This is astounding news! He's in Skyrim, but he won't be for much longer. He's on his ship, the Katariah, in the Solitude harbor. They set sail in the morning. If you get onboard the ship and kill him, I'll reveal the location of the dead drop that has your payment!" He was responding feverishly. "Don't worry, we'll find a way," I said, then we walked out into the Inn proper. Runa got some food and I sat across from her, taking off the helm. After she'd ate a little, I finally said to her, "So hey. I want to ask something of you." "What's that?" She asked. "I want you to rent a room here. Have a good night's sleep. In the morning, we'll head over to Dawnstar," I said. "But...the emperor..." "It's about to be nighttime," I said, stating something that was painfully obvious to me, "You're the most important member of the brotherhood. It's about time you stop going into the most dangerous situations." "Think you can do this alone?" She asked. "Of course I can. I'm going to go full stealth. There are going to be a lot of guards, much stronger than the paltry ones the Oculatus threw at us." "Something I'm not overly good at," she said. "Right. Don't worry. I can take care of this," I said. I slid my helmet back on and got on Shadowmere. She was still a girl, not really made for all this killing yet. Ultimately, I'm her mom, and I decided it was my time to explore these new powers I'd gotten access to. Of course, I was going to use Astrid's dagger for this job. Daggers were a close third for my weapon types, and they offer a more personal touch - easier to conceal and quicker to deliver a killing blow. I was going to be supremely careful this time. I never should've sent Runa in by herself. I rode Shadowmere hard and reached the ship around midnight. I jumped into the sea from adjacent cliffs and swam over to the chain, climbing onto the ship via the bilge. A sailor who'd been dozing immediately heard the commotion and rushed over, but I'd already casted Invisibility. As he walked around looking for me, I slit his throat and hid his body behind some boxes. The room to the left had a sailor sleeping soundly, so I decided I needed a snack and I drained him to death. Down the passageway opened up to a common room with a bar, which held an Imperial soldier and a sailor, sharing a drink at this late hour. I shrouded myself again and walked into the room as the soldier was walking out, then I grappled the sailor, draining his blood until he fell unconscious. I walked up to the second deck, wandering around. I looked for important-looking rooms. The first one I tried held an Oculatus agent who was still awake, but I got the drop on him, so I slit his throat. The second was the captain's room, but he was asleep. I bashed him over the head to make sure he stayed asleep, then I ransacked his room. (Might as well, right?) Also, I did want the ship to be able to leave, so I wasn't killing every human here (I intentionally left a lot of sailors and the captain alive). At last I came to a door with an extremely complex lock and I thought... this may be it. Once I was in, I slipped to the left, sensing movement. Another Oculatus agent in his bed. I stabbed him in the neck and tucked him back in. Then, I ventured down the hall. This time one agent sleeping and one in a chair dozing off. I stabbed the chair man in the back, and the sleeping one I drained to death. (Whew.... getting full). Finally I reached the end of the hall with a door in front of me and stairs to my left. I opened the door quietly to find a Lieutenant pacing. I ducked to the side and threw on invisibility again. As he walked out, confused, I stabbed him in the back and dragged his body back in the room, shutting the door. Up the stairs. Two more doors. One led outside and the other, I could tell, was the Emperor's room. Not taking any chances, I casted lock on the outside door (incase he had guards posted out there) then strode into the Emperor's room. As I walked in, he locked eyes with me, as if he'd been expecting me. "I told Maro you can't stop the brotherhood," Titus Mede said. He didn't seem fearful at all. Just resigned. "You knew I was coming?" I asked. "Come now, we have a date with destiny, as emperors and assassins often do," the emperor said back. I folded my arms. It felt like another trick. "You will kill me today. But would you suffer an old man one more moment before the end?" He asked. I sighed, sheathing my dagger, "Alright." For a killer and a vampire, I'm still a softy. "Regardless of your path through life, I sense a certain... ambition on you," the emperor said, wizened eyes on me. "There are those whose ambition would destroy the world if they let it. Would you do me a favor?" "I'm listening," I said. "Whoever set this plan in motion, I ask that you kill them." I folded my arms, considering it. If I had any love for the empire, I think that killing the rot at the roots of it would be a good move. On the contrary, if I didn't have love for the empire, killing a high-ranking Imperial official would be pretty sweet too. "I'll do it, old man," I replied. "Before that, perhaps another request?" He asked. "What else?" I asked. "This one is entirely up to you," he said, "I wish to feel the touch of another one last time." I blinked. This old man was coming on to me on his death bed. Something within me perked up. Who else could say they'd fucked an emperor? I smiled, "Alright, old man. But I am still going to kill you. And... I'm going to drink your blood." "Of course. I offer no resistance," he replied. As an aside here, I have to say that the man was pretty gifted. Not only in the size department, but... he had to have cum three times before I got around to drinking his blood. I felt the sting of the sun coming up as I put my teeth in his neck. Shor's Bones, was that the old man's plan, to fuck me for three hours until his guards came to save him? Maybe, though I had killed 99% of the guards on the ship. I am thorough. Anyway, after I was done drinking at least two of his bodily fluids, I did a quick search of the room, then got the hell outta there. I got to the Bannered Mare around noon, not making any effort to go quickly. I walked upstairs to Runa still sleeping in the two-person bed and took a little nap on the other side of the bed. Because sometimes you just want to sleep, you know? I wasn't hungry, I just felt like sleep. When I woke up she was sitting in a chair on the balcony. "It's done. Let me settle with Amaund. Can you get our stuff ready?" I asked, then I cruised down to Amaund, who'd stayed in the room we'd left him in with bated breath. "Gods, did you do it?" He asked. "Yep. Done." "You have served all of Tamriel in ways you can't possibly imagine," he said, "Your payment waits for you at a dead drop. In an urn, at the chamber in Volenruud where we first contacted you. Now go, please, collect your payment, and let us never see one another again." "One more thing," I said. He raised an eyebrow, "What else?" "Just a favor from an old man," I said. "Oh gods... you're going to kill me aren't..." he started, but I stabbed him in the neck. I shut the door behind me and found Runa, "Let's stop by Volenruud on the way." We looked in the urn and it held 20,000 gold! Nazir, Babette and Arnbjorn were at the Dawnstar Sanctuary. Arnbjorn had been told about Astrid. He looked sad, but hopeful for the future of the brotherhood. "This place is pretty nice. We should've moved here ages ago!" Babette said. Nazir said, "Took a little while, but the casket is upstairs. Now that we're here, you should talk to Delvin Mallory and see if we could outfit this place a little. I'm going to put out the word and try to get some new recruits." "I'm going to commune. See if she's got anything for us," Runa said, walking toward the mother's casket. I rode Shadowmere all the way to Riften (nearly a day trip) and met Delvin Mallory in the vault room of the Thieves' Guild as he was depositing some things. "How's life, guild master~ oh! You're a vampire now!" He exclaimed. "Yeah, well. It's not a big deal." "Thought you guys were dead after I heard the sanctuary got burned to the ground. How's little Runa?" He asked. "Not bad. You know, she's the Listener!" "My word. From the mouths of babes... come assassination targets," Delvin chuckled, "What can I do for you?" "A few things - we moved to Dawnstar. Think you could outfit the place?" "It will cost a pretty penny. I assume out of the brotherhood's coffers. What did you have in mind?" He asked. "Poison station, secret entrance. Bedroom," I replied. "Done. I'll tabulate the expenses when we're done here. What else?" "I have a lot of rare artifacts I've been picking up. Wonder if they'd be worth to fence. This model ship, shipping maps, half a dozen other things. Oh yeah! And the eyes of the falmer I forgot to ever actually give to you," I said, showing him my huge pile of loot. I'd have to make sure and fence the dozens of other things with the normal fences. "Hmm," he thought, doing math in his head, "Carry the two... Shor's bones! I think I actually owe you money after that transaction! This stuff is worth an emperor's ransom." "Speaking of which, have you heard anything about the assassination?" I asked. "That was you guys?" He chuckled, "Amazing! I knew you were something else when you walked up to the Flagon, just a dirty little streetrat." "It was me specifically," I said, "Working alone. It was the skills I learned here that got me through one of the hardest stealth missions anyone could've conceived! Kill the Emperor." "Listen. Me and Vex are finally going to tie the knot. We'd be honored if you'd be there," he said, "I meant to give you an invitation, but you're so damned wily I never get a chance to see you." "Of course. I'd be honored." "Oi! You gotta stay the night here! Share a pint or two, or three with the boys! Catch up like old times!" Delvin shouted as he started to walk into the cistern proper, "Brynjolf! You'll never guess who actually killed the big man!" "Lemme guess, it was the daft lass followin' ya," he shouted. The boys cheered at seeing me at one of these scant opportunities when I actually slow down. I spent a night in merriment down in the Flagon. It made me miss old times, when I was just a girl, just showing up to Skyrim. So much had happened. So much still to tell. The Emperor being killed was a huge deal. This, as you might imagine, throws the Empire into a bit of chaos, and shakes up the order of the world as it had been for many years. The dragon problem is getting worse every day. And then there's my vampirism. The Dawnguard was no help - but what about the vampires? Maybe, I thought, while there was a lull in the Dark Brotherhood's missions, Runa and the others could handle recruitment for a while. I would contact the vampires and find out more about this 'condition.' That vampire artifact was a good place to start.
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