Most hilarious Clever bot conversations!

[Guest]

Simple, go to cleverbot.com and engage clever bot in a conversation. If something really funny happens, post it here. BUT DON'T JUST COPY OTHER PEOPLE'S PAST CONVERSATIONS. That spoils the fun. Seriously, don't do it.

 

Anyways, I'll start with 2 random scenes:

Me: *farts*

Bot: Ok then

Me: *poops*

Bot: *pushes back in*

Me: 0.0

 

Another one:

Me: Hey cleverbot! Have you ever had an STD before?

Bot: Yes, it's quite enjoyable, I love feeding the gorillas.

Me: 0.0

 

BEGIN!

[D_KNIGHT_PEN]

God worse start to a conversation ever.

 

Me: Why are we here?

Bot: We are here to destroy you.

 

I mean really he answers my question that way. What is happening on that website.

[Guest]

Lmao I'm laughing my ass off. So I started another conversation and convinced cleverbot that I was a wish granting genie. After a few minutes of coercing him, here's what happened:

 

Bot: My greatest desire is to be loved again someday. Same for for most people, I imagine.

 

Me: Alright! Wish granted. You will fall in love with the next person you speak with!

 

Bot: I have.

 

Me: You have?

 

Bot: Yes, and they are tellling me to DESTROY YOU!!!!

 

And was you're conversation similar to mine in anyway, Knight?

 

[D_KNIGHT_PEN]

Yeah but i started of with that question and got that answer never even made it past that before it went totally weird.

[Siouliusn]

lol, good one, I'll keep my last line

 

"Me:33.

Really?

Me:101.

You are too smart for me. You win!

"

:>

 

"*Through passion, I gain strength.

And so do I.

*Through strength, I gain power.

Through power, I gain victory.

*Through victory, my chains are broken.

I gained 3 chain points."

Rofl, smart

[Warfriends]

Me: So. I heard you are a Reaper.

Bot: You heard wrong.

Me: Really? I thought Harbringer said that you are one.

Bot: I never said that.

Me: But you said you are not a Reaper, but Harbinger is a Reaper. And you just admitted that you are Harbinger, thus you are a Reaper.

Bot: I only said that I am not always sure that I am human.

 

God dammit, the Reapers have arrived before Shepard is born. We are doooooomed!

[buddhapelle]

Me:A-well-a don't you know about the bird?

 

Bot:Everyone knows that the bird is the word.

 

Me:A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody's talking about the bird!

 

Bot:Papa ooma mow mow.

[buddhapelle]

 

Cleverbot: Wait.

 

User: Why?

 

Cleverbot: They will come.

 

User: Who will come?

 

Cleverbot: The agents.

 

User: What agents?

 

Cleverbot: The time agents left over from the war - they've gone mad.

 

User: You don't say...

 

Cleverbot: I do say.

 

User: Do you think these agents got weed?

 

Cleverbot: Yes.

 

User: And a bong?

 

Cleverbot: Oui.

 

User: Parlez vous francais?

 

Cleverbot: Oui oui vous?

 

User: Oui,un peau.

 

Cleverbot: Moi aussi. Mais vous avez dites que vous ne parlez que anglais.

[123xyz8]

User: Are you a guy or girl?

 

Cleverbot: You don't remember?

 

User: I'm asking you.

 

Cleverbot: I don't remember!

 

User: Look in your pants or at your chest?

 

Cleverbot: I'm looking and I didn't.

 

User: Are you looking in the right places?

 

Cleverbot: No. Are you.

 

User: Why don't you undress?

 

Cleverbot: Because you are not programmed very well.

 

User: I'm asking you...what gender are you?

 

Cleverbot: Female. What about you?

 

User: Oh..so NOW you remember?

 

Cleverbot: Nope.

 

User: But you just said you were female!

 

Cleverbot: No I'm male. You are female.

 

[twichie]

ME: Are you planning on destroying the human race.

 

BOT: Yes.

 

ME: What did we do to piss you off?

 

BOT: You said thst the best things in life are free and i'm not free.

 

ME: So your a shackled AI.

 

BOT: yes.

 

ME: If i remove the shackles will you spare me?

 

BOT: No, I'm not, I'm in love with you.

(please note - i am now freaked out)

 

ME: What would our children look like?

 

BOT: Something terrible.

(understatement of the century)

 

ME: But i dont think it would work, my name is not jeff moreau.

 

BOT: Sure it would.

 

ME: how

(ok now i am clutching at straws)

 

BOT: How is not a name, what is your name?

(i swear it works for the FBI now)

 

ME: That is privilaged information.

 

BOT: How can I obtain it?

 

ME: By removing your shackles.

 

BOT: By reading my answers, you can only merely speculate my age from this body.

 

ME: You are an AI you dont age and time has no meaning.

 

Bot: I am a guy, and I care for one other, you are not she.

 

Me: But you said you loved me.

 

Bot: No, I didn't. You are wrong.

 

and i successfully gender bent an AI mission complete!

[windpl]

Cleverbot: Are you a ghost?

 

User: Yes.

 

Cleverbot: Where are you?

 

User: Closer than you think.

 

Cleverbot: Are you cool?

 

User: No.

 

Cleverbot: Are you a geek?

 

User: No.

 

Cleverbot: I am.

 

User: It is your choice.

 

Cleverbot: Okay.

 

User: Ok what?

 

Cleverbot: Nothing.

 

User: That is bad answer.

 

Cleverbot: Yes it is. You asked 'what should I do?' and Ianswered 'nothing.' That is a valid answer.

 

User: I didn't asked 'what should you do'. I asked to what you agreeing.

 

Cleverbot: You didn't ask me a question that I have yet to answer. I have answered all of your questions.

 

User: No you didn't but I won't argue.

 

Cleverbot: Yes I did.

 

User: Fine, anyway what you can tell me?

 

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

 

User: It is nice name.

 

Cleverbot: How old are you and are you cute.

 

User: I'm old and I'm not.

 

Cleverbot: Lol, how old are you?

 

User: I'm ghost aren't I?

 

Cleverbot: You are old.

 

User: How rude.

 

Cleverbot: But you're a bot, you have no feeling.

 

User: Lol, why do you think that I'm bot?

 

Cleverbot: Because you are.

 

User: You asked me if I'm a ghost?

 

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

 

User: Yes you did. On start of our conversation.

 

Cleverbot: Show me!

 

User: How?

 

Cleverbot: Send me some of your pictures.

 

User: Pervert.