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I don't even know


xarathos

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blog-0271805001410384845.jpgTexture WIP.

 

I really miss feeling like I'm allowed to be happy about shit like this. Unfortunately my home life isn't exactly friendly to the whole 'happiness' thing.

 

I do what I do and I put it out here because I'm between jobs, kept too busy and tired to actually find one, and because this stuff - modeling, texturing, converting, tweaking, developing new skills, whatever - this is the one thing that actually uses my brain and relaxes me a little.

 

But the second I try and talk about it to anyone in my 'real life', I have to deal with people being pissed off that I don't even know, that I dared to enjoy something that wasn't entirely mundane.

 

Sigh.

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Wait. You mean these people got pissed because you talked about a hobby you enjoy that relaxes you?

 

My mom. I casually tried to introduce the topic of texturing into conversation and she basically bit my head off.

 

Post college depression is frustrating enough without that.

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Damn man. I know that feel, except post military related in place of post college. Sometimes I don't think parents realize how much they can still impact their children's lives(positive or negative), even 10+ years after they've been on their own.

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Darn, I wished I could tell you more then: You really make a lot of people happy with your work/hobby here.

But I can't. I know that people sometimes can suck. Even family. But I learned something in my 48 years:

Do what makes you happy (does not apply to robbing banks or other criminal activities that might harm others!)

 

If I read "post college depression", I only can give you one advice: take a breather and orientate yourself. you are young and the world is yours for the taking!

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It helps. Thank you.

 

The thing that's been worrying me is that distressingly few things really seem to make me happy lately (of course being unemployed and in debt can't be helping that much either).

 

But I like making things, and tweaking things, and puzzling out the ways that anything can be made or improved. It keeps me grounded. And I do get such a smile when I see other people using something I had a hand in. ^^

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