I'll ask you to take a moment and think back.

 

Long ago (feels like at least one lifetime), after I first visited the Greybeards and slid down the mountain while being pursued by what felt like the entirety of the wildlife of Skyrim, I landed smack dab in the middle of a Stormcloak camp. They treated me well, gave me food, let me sleep in an extra tent, gave me directions.

 

But I was in a hurry to get to Markarth (if only I had known!), looking to gather the power I felt I needed to survive and not looking forward to a long trek across Skyrim on foot when the place was clearly out to get me. So I stole a horse.

 

I forgot all about it after I reached Markarth, for obvious reasons. I might have gone the rest of my life without thinking about it had the Stormcloaks not captured Falkreath a few months after my fateful decision OR had Delphine, Esbern, and I taken a different route. Now...now I think about it every day. It's my very own Les Mis, with the part of bread being played by a horse.

 

We were in high spirits when we entered Falkreath and entered the inn, the Dead Man's Drink. There was an omen in that name, perhaps, but then the names of most of the inns and other various places about Skyrim are named in such ways that no matter where you go, you could find an omen if you wanted one.

 

I didn't.

 

We got a table near the door and ordered drinks and everything was going just swimmingly. I did notice the dark-haired Nord man the first time he went by, only because he kind of stumbled as he neared us and held my gaze a touch too long when I glanced his way.

 

Funny, I thought. He's flirting with me.

 

I gave the idea of a dalliance some causal consideration, but decided I was too tired from the road and gave him no more thought. Until he showed up the second time, with a city guard.

 

"That's her!" he shouted, pointing a shaking finger at me. The guard didn't look very interested.

 

Delphine and Esbern stopped chatting and turned their heads toward my accuser. I merely blinked. The guard rolled his eyes and threw me a glance that felt like an apology. This guy, it seemed to say.

 

The idea of a dalliance perked back as I began to pay more attention to him. Fit and pretty cute, as far as I could tell. I needed to find a way to get him to remove his helmet.

 

My handsome guard frowned at the Nord, whose hand still shook in the air. "How can you be sure? Didn't you say your horse was stolen several months ago?"

 

The mention of the horse was my first clue about what was going on, but I still didn't give it much thought.

 

"Of course I'm sure! She fell off the mountain, right into our camp! How could I forget something like that? We gave her food and let her sleep with us..."

 

A snigger came from the crowd, which I now belatedly noticed was watching. The Nord reddened.

 

"Not like that! She just...y'know, slept! Said she was a pilgrim, just visitin' the Greybeards, but I knew better! The Greybeards don't let nobody go up there!"

 

The guard exchanged glances with me again. I just managed to hold in a flirtatious giggle.

 

"What do you say, ma'am? Are these accusations true? Did you steal his horse?"

 

Hmm...how to answer that question. "I can't say I've ever seen this man before, say nothing of his horse."

 

There. Technically true. The guard held my gaze for a long moment as a smile tugged at his lips. He turned back to my accuser.

 

"Look, it's your word against hers. Unless you have some other proof, I'm afraid..."

 

"We'll vouchsafe his words." A scratchy, authoritative voice. We all turned and I felt my heart sink into my stomach. I recognized this one - he had been in command at the camp. A half dozen solders stood behind him, and none of them looked anything but grimly competent. "That is her."

 

Fuck. The guard stiffened, and when he turned back to me, all sense of play was gone. "Please come with me. This is a matter for the Jarl's court."

 

"But surely..." was as far as Delphine got - the soldiers and the guard snapped to attention, hands on weapons. We froze. Then I stood up verrrry carefully, placating hands forward.

 

"Settle down, everyone. I'll go with you."

 

"But..." Delphine said again, but the choice was long gone. The guard gestured ahead and I moved toward the door, ignoring the smirking Nord as best I could.

 

Once through the door, I thought of bolting, but I knew it would do no good. I paused on the street until the guard caught up and followed him as he led the way to the largest building in the town. The soldiers, I noted with passing curiosity, did not follow us in.

 

Jarl Dengeir was a paranoid old man, the kind who would have been wearing tinfoil hats and babbling about extra gunmen and Bigfoot back on Earth. After hearing the complaint against me, he at first seemed not to be particularly interested. “A stolen horse, you say? I think a fine is sufficient recompense.”

 

"I'll pay her fine," Delphine said before I could respond. I frowned at her, but having little money of my own, I didn't have much choice.

 

"Thank you," I said.

 

She shrugged but didn't meet my eyes as she responded, "It is my duty."

 

What I nearly failed to notice while having this exchange was one of the Jarl's advisers whispering in his ear. As I turned back, I distinctly heard the worrying word "Thalmor". More worrying still, Dengeir seemed suddenly very interested. Eager, one might say.

 

"A moment, though." The Jarl made a show of pretending to think, rubbing his chin and peering toward the ceiling. "Horses are rare in Skyrim. I think the punishment should be...more." His disingenuous smile reeked of danger. "By law, her sentence may be carried out by a willing party. You may pay her fine, but you also must serve her sentence."

 

I heard a sharp intake of breath from Esbern, saw Delphine set her shoulders. Her words came back to me, when she first told me about the Blades. About their purpose. To protect the Dragonborn at all costs. To protect...me.

 

But there was something more going on here. Dengeir's adviser had recognized Delphine, or at least suspected. I was certain of it. And her fate would be sealed should she accept.

 

I spoke quickly, interrupting her. "I am guilty, your honor."

 

"No!" I heard Delphine say, but I overrode her, looking directly into Dengeir's crafty eyes. "I stole the horse. I will pay whatever price is necessary."

 

A look of disappointment flashed across his face, quickly erased. "So be it!"

 

Delphine tried to protest again, so I turned to her and said in a low voice, "Stop it! You are not paying for my crimes. No one is. I am responsible for my own actions."

 

"But...you don't know," she responded in a choked voice. "You don't know what they do to prisoners!"

 

I gave her a grim smile. "In the time I've been in this God forsaken world, I have been enslaved, beaten, raped, and tortured. There is nothing they can do to me that hasn't been done already."

 

She shook her head. "I can't allow..."

 

"Enough!" Dengeir's sharp tone brought both of our attentions back to him. "It has been decided. The accused had accepted her punishment, so by law I can't now accept a replacement." His voice carried disappointment, and I felt a trill of joy for having protected Delphine. "The cost of the horse was one thousand gold. Adding interest for the intervening time and the court fees, total reparations come to seven thousand, one hundred gold. Further, the law allows one month in prison for each thousand gold owed, so the defendant will serve seven months and three days. Take her away."

 

Dengeir turned away as the guards grabbed me by the arms and began leading me off. I glanced back at Delphine and Esbern and threw then a weak smile.

 

"Don't worry about me!" I called out as one of the guards opened the door. "Find the place! Come pick me up in seven months!"

 

The last thing I saw before I was dragged outside was a look of determination settle on Delphine's face and I smiled to myself. She would be fine, would get things rolling, so when this ordeal was over, we could get right to work. All I had to do was survive seven months of prison, and after the things that had already happened to me, that didn't seem like much.

 

As I'm sure you have ascertained, things didn't go exactly according to script.

 

Don't feed the bastards. They'll just want more.

 

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