[Ren'py] Master of the Earth

[IndianaTK]

Hi there! I would like to introduce you all to a game I recently started working on.

 

The game is known as "Master of the Earth". In this game, you play as a 17 year old boy who inherits his late father's magical abilities.  Deciding to be different from his father, the player takes on the power and decides to use it in the most evil and tragic ways he can think of.

 

In this game, you will be playing the role of the "evil/bad" character. There is no "good" path planned. 

 

I have made a small demo just to showcase the idea. If people receive it well, I will happily make it into something bigger. 

 

 

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=6618462

 

Demo Link: https://mega.nz/#!RZRhUTyb!m0M5hIrRZjCEsRDaTkvS4xkAHNwFU6V_g54Ek5yEN6Y

 

Version 0.1: https://mega.nz/#!gNgk0Q4b!o3YcJtpJh6OVLOHFTrxIv_7xuJqS5LIOX-cJXS3HbKU

[XJ347]

so...

a fourteen year old boy

 

 

My issue is that the main character is to young. You can't have sex since legally the game cant exist on this site if it does. Even if you can make others have sex, that gives it a more voyeuristic feel but IMO that isn't a good thing. You are disconnecting the player from the action.

 

I am getting a linear feeling from your description.

 

Description just overall feels light.

 

 

 

[IndianaTK]

so...

a fourteen year old boy

 

 

My issue is that the main character is to young. You can't have sex since legally the game cant exist on this site if it does. Even if you can make others have sex, that gives it a more voyeuristic feel but IMO that isn't a good thing. You are disconnecting the player from the action.

 

I am getting a linear feeling from your description.

 

Description just overall feels light.

 

Fixed, the age isn't really an issue.

 

And currently, the reason the description is light is simply down to the fact that I'm looking for feedback. I want to see what people think of the demo at this state then I can know what to improve on and whether to take it further. 

[razor001]

i really enjoyed the demo and am looking forward to seeing more.

more mother/son would be appreciated.

[fearmykitties]

Interesting choice to use the Sims for the art, not sure why that hasn't been done before.

[lolhappy]

It's not bad. I'll definitely be keeping my eye on this. I like playing evil characters in my porn, just not flat out sadistic monsters, and so far this seems to be right up my alley. You're a rapist, but not a murderer/torturer.

 

One thing I do think should be worked on is pacing, you go from "Hey! I think I've got magic!" to pounding a few hours of practice in a graveyard to "Mom you're my slave now or I'll kill you!" I like where you're going, but I think it would be better if you started out a little slower. Maybe instead of practicing in the graveyard a bunch of times you only do it a little bit and then start practicing on people, convincing your mom it's okay to be naked around you, convincing her it's okay to give you a handjob or something like that, and maybe you try to push to hard, she resists and you flat out take over her mind and body so she can't resist even if she wants to. I think it's fine to go straight for the kill, so to speak, like, going fast and making a short game is fine but I think this is just a little too fast right now. I also think you could benefit a bit from some more descriptive text, not just dialogue pushing the story. This goes back to pacing, even the scenes are a little too fast I think. To long and the scene gets boring, yeah, but I think you could easily double the length of the sex scenes you've got right now and they'd still wouldn't be too long.

 

I don't know how big your plans for this game and I don't know what kind of fetishes you plan to add, but at the moment I'd like to make some suggestions while I'm still early. I'd enjoy seeing some impregnation scenes, someone here has said you're modeling using The Sims so I don't think pregnant models would be much of an issue. I'd also like to see any scenes involving the main character sharing any of his slaves, or fucking someone else's family member being optional. Basically I don't like cuckolding, on either end of it, and I think it's one of those fetishes most people either love or hate so it can get kind of heated among players. Not that I have any say over your project, you can still do whatever you want.

 

One last note though, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to have porn with any character under eighteen, even in pure fiction like this. I don't think you mention age anywhere in the game so it might not be an issue, but just something you might want to keep in mind. Stay safe, and I'd love to see you put out something bigger.

[IndianaTK]

Thanks for all the feedback, I've uploaded the first version and updated the OP!

 

Would love to hear some views on it!

[fearmykitties]

Still enjoying it. The work cycle is a bit monotonous, perhaps a touch of randomness in there, or some more character interaction. You don't meet your sister for so long you could be surprised you have a sister.

 

There doesn't seem to be any immediate follow-up to the friend's wife event. You command her to do something with a very short timeframe but then there is no consequence or comment from anyone until you finish the hideout, which is at least a couple of weeks later. Perhaps you could delay the friend's wife event until the hideout is complete, so that it fits in the narrative order better.

 

When you buy the hideout it doesn't subtract the money.

 

But yeah, it's coming along nicely.

[IndianaTK]

Hey guys, I've updated the OP with my patreon link - https://www.patreon.com/user?u=6618462
The plan is to raise enough with patreon that will allow my to hire someone who can make models with Daz 3D so I can switch from the Sims.

[lolhappy]

I second everything fearmykitties said. It's still pretty good, but very tedious. Maybe you could make the work shorter or maybe just toss in a scene or two at a a few intervals, maybe introduce your sisters that way.

 

Also, I notice if you go to the library and pick up "how to evil" book, it say's you picked up the "other dimensions" one, you still get the right description and flags, just when it says what you're reading it's wrong.

[Badi_Wunderkind]

is it looks like TS3?

[Sampson-Cridel]

It shouldn't matter if the boy is fourteen years old. It is fictional. As far as you should be concerned it is an 80 year old vampire who was bitten when he was fourteen and went back in time, took out his pre-vampire self and now resumes being the same person even though he is over eighty years old. 

 

Would it satisfy you, XJ347, if this was Michael J. Fox?

 

Seriously, it shouldn't be an issue. It is fiction. 

[XJ347]

It shouldn't matter if the boy is fourteen years old. It is fictional. As far as you should be concerned it is an 80 year old vampire who was bitten when he was fourteen and went back in time, took out his pre-vampire self and now resumes being the same person even though he is over eighty years old. 

 

Would it satisfy you, XJ347, if this was Michael J. Fox?

 

Seriously, it shouldn't be an issue. It is fiction. 

 

All I'm going to say is look up the Community rules...