What's on your mind?

[Reginald_001]

I wake up and pull the wet sheets of my bed. It smells in my room and I'm coughing. I scrape through my beard, it itches, but fuck I won't shave. I stand up and notice a half burnt joint in between my sheets. There's a black spot and ashes. With my warm and sweating old body, I've smeared it out over the sheets. No matter. Ash is sterile. I wade through the clothes on my floor. They are all dirty and hell I'd like to wash them, but my washing machine died years ago. It's still there. The same one. The one I bought with my ex. What a loser.

 

I have weed.
Shit.
No!
No more weed!

I walk into the living room, past the boxes of stuff. My entire house is full of boxes. It's a renting home. The neighbor is at the door, knocking. Fuck her. Fucking bitch is always complaining. I've lived here for 15 years now, if she doesn't like it she can leave. I need weed. Now. I'm panicking. Ok. Ok. First a smoke. I roll the cigarette and light it. Wasn't something happening today? I remember some guys, fuck.. fuck.. FUCK! That tv thing is coming, they want to talk to me about something. Fuck it. I'm not home. I'm closing my curtains. I need weed now. I grab my coat and look at my clothes. I slept in them, fuck it. I grab the ATM card and rush to the dealer. I'm smoking all the leftover joints that I picked apart in a new joint. It's bitter and I'm coughing. I still have 20 on the account. Enough for a gram. Fuck, a gram won't fix me for today. Well, gram first, the rest later. Perhaps I can ask those TV guys for some money, after all, they're going to make money off me, won't they?

 

I have the gram.

My place is a fucking mess, it smells like an ashtray, but I don't even notice.

There are bottles filled with piss, I pick them up and roll them under the couch, best those guys don't see it.

I throw some water in my face and make coffee.  I push some of the mess away I made last night, then I sit down to watch porn.

 

The TV guys are here.
I'm looking at the sperm rag.
Fuck I forgot to put it away.
Never mind.
I take a deep drag.
I see the kid. He's noticed the wet rag, but tries not to pay attention.
Did I actually close the porn on my screen?
I look to my right.
Yeah. Screen locked.
Ok, no worries.

 

In all those years, I still see everything.
Maybe that's why I hate people.
He's so naive.
So liberal and compassionate.
He's so young.
Nothing was taken from him yet.
He looks like me when I was young.
He is talking and I'm taking a drag.
I cough.
I'd never figured my lungs would last this long!
Well yay for that, right?

 

"So you were married once, right?", the child in front of me feigns concern.
I want to slap him.
Slap the naivety out of him.
I see flashes of my life.
Failed relationships.
Failed career.
Failed friendships.
My voice is speaking.
Yeah I'm sure.
Perhaps it's some automated response from when I was young.
I don't really think that the words my mouth are forming are part of a conscious decision or choice.
Because, what the fuck do I have to talk about with this child that knows nothing of the world?

 

My voice is speaking. I can clearly hear the voice.
Yes. That's mine. That's my voice.
I think it's talking about when I still had work.
When things still meant something.
When my parents were still alive.
When I still knew people.

 

I can hardly breathe.
There's slime in my lungs.
I cough.
"I think I'm 69.. I don't really remember what year it is, after that jail time.", you know that's a lie.
Born in '75. It's now '49. Still sharp enough to know my age, no matter how many kilos of weed I've smoked in my life.

 

My hand is twirling through my beard.
It itches.
Is it something in there?
Some kind of animal?
Crawling across my skin?
Has it made a life for itself there, in my beard?
Does it feed of the food that tumbles in there when I'm eating?

 

"Weed helps me through the rough stuff", I tell him.
I hear my voice, ahh good.
I'm still speaking to this kid.
But it sounds so old and so broken.
I'm thinking of my mom.

 

"Why are you crying?", the young kid asks me.
The camera man walks towards me to get a close up of my face.
Unrecognizable, I'm happy about that.
I see the smile in there, in that young kid's face...
This was what he wanted.
Crying means money.
Emotional TV is all the rage these days..

 

I look at his hair.
Absolutely ridiculous.
Shaved on one side, long on the other.
He likely thinks the same of me.
I notice the signs of disgust on his expressions.
I extend my foot and drag the sperm rag into full view as I look at him.
Too bad those bottles of piss are still underneath the couch, I'd have liked seeing his face as I'd rolled one across the floor.

"How much am I getting payed for this?", I ask him.

"500", he says.
"If you give me 1500, I'll tell you everything you need to know".
"What do you mean?", he looks at me questioningly.

I take another drag from the joint and feel the tears as they slowly tumble through my beard.

That's good.
The thing in there likely needs water as well, to survive.

The camera man swoops the camera through the room.

"Alright", the kid says.
1500 is nothing.
500 is even more nothing.
Enough to smoke for a couple of days though.

 

And I start telling him:
I wake up and pull the wet sheets of my bed. It smells in my room and I'm coughing. I scrape through my beard, it itches, but fuck I won't shave. I stand up and notice a half burnt joint in between my sheets. There's a black spot and ashes. With my warm and sweating old body, I've smeared it out over the sheets. No matter. Ash is sterile.

[TactusAuValiiRath]

I barely get emotional anymore IRL but one of my characters is going through a lot and I feel so bad and sorry for him.

I guess I'm an idiot.

[Ulysses Smirked]

On 1/27/2019 at 5:30 AM, NitroHamlin said:

Something came back to me, something that has been on my mind before...

 

So today I went into my brothers room to see what he was up to, he was going to play on his PS4. So as he booted it up I reminded myself of a social game on the PS3 called Playstation Home, so said to him "I really miss Playstation Home, there was so much I didn't get to do. Probably a similar alternative to it would be Second Life." After I said that we chatted a bit an I went on my way. Fast forward a few hours later I get back onto my computer and go onto Youtube to listen to music and do something while it plays in the background. But when I go to change the video I find an advertisement for Second Life in the top right corner in the ad space. Prior to this I haven't had any similar advertisements that would have lead to this. 

 

As I've stated, this has been on my mind before and the reason for this is some time ago my father and I found a lost sling shot outside my house and we had a few ideas of how powerful it could be (I had never had a slingshot and it had 6 bands on it but one of them is loose) and after a few minutes we had our fun and put it away. The next morning I went to check my emails and I had an advertisement for slingshots and the like.

 

This might be a stretch and I might be overreacting but, I know you can get stuff like this for just browsing online but not offline in your own home.

You mean you didn't know that your cell phone, pdas, some televisions, anything like Alexa, or anything that has a speaker to receive and process your voice has been programmed to listen and make recommendations based on what they hear and their precious algorithms? Thanks Google, Facebook, Twitter, etc. And thank your local gov't for using these same recordings to incriminate you later on... Look up NSA and Utah. Oh, and the new multi-billion dollar data storage facility in Maryland. You are always being listened to. Always.

[AKM]

A friend who recently disappeared from my life, with zero warning, though I can't say that the event itself was unexpected (only the zero warning part).  The worst part is that I'm currently involved in training for things that she did, and it's ridiculously difficult for me to focus when I'm doing that stuff, because the only person I ever really talked about that stuff with was her (it wasn't anything I was interested in, but is a required part of the training).  When I'm doing it, or standing fire watch for my buddy while he does it, I find that my mind drifts to her, and I wonder what really happened.  Not good, as it could be a serious safety hazard should I let my mind get away from the task at hand.

 

Sure wish I had some closure.  Better yet, my friend back, of course.  Sigh.

[NitroHamlin]

6 hours ago, figarodlc said:

You are always being listened to. Always.

Yeah I had a feeling that was the case, I just didn't know for sure.

 

P.S: Nice signature, very inspirational.

[landess]

8 hours ago, figarodlc said:

You are always being listened to. Always.

It's a shame my ex wife didn't share the government's enthusiasm.

[TactusAuValiiRath]

I lately get complimented on my looks, on my art skills, on my creativity, etc. but I don't know how to respond. If I say only "thanks", I think I'm being too arrogant and if I reply "it's nothing, really" (which is what I actually think), I get dirty looks and offended people telling me to "stop belittling myself".

 

I don't really know how to react when I get complimented.

[R-Lo]

1 hour ago, redapocalypse said:

I lately get complimented on my looks, on my art skills, on my creativity, etc. but I don't know how to respond. If I say only "thanks", I think I'm being too arrogant and if I reply "it's nothing, really" (which is what I actually think), I get dirty looks and offended people telling me to "stop belittling myself".

 

I don't really know how to react when I get complimented.

 

Just let them know that you're flattered by the praise and maybe give a little insight into what you're grateful for that helped you achieve that level, if you're sharing praise and also knowledge then you may feel less conceited in recieving it I hope ?

[Glaurung26]

[Don't think about sex, don't think about sex, don't think about sex. Dammit.]

 

Dipping my toes into twitch streaming. Taking some technical learning. Hopeful though.

 

It's almost a thing I'm 'not' thinking about, but I'm realizing I just don't care or think about things that I used to or people used to tell me was important. Now I know better. Nothing matters except for whatever I feel like at the time. Also doing things to stay alive so I can continue enjoying random things.

 

Being tired after work. That's about it currently. Oh, and the adult content too, I guess.

[landess]

3 hours ago, redapocalypse said:

I don't really know how to react when I get complimented.

Thank you is 'mandatory', which I usually follow with another kindness:

 

I really appreciate it.

I'm glad you like it.

I try....

 

Stuff like this engages the person complimenting you.

[ToJKa]

Why are zombies dangerous anyway? Human teeth and fingernails are pretty bad at making living things not living.

[MrEsturk]

57 minutes ago, ToJKa said:

Why are zombies dangerous anyway? Human teeth and fingernails are pretty bad at making living things not living.

You can get a pretty nasty infection from a human bite, the kind that often needs medical attention. Humans have some of the filthier mouths in the animal kingdom, in more than just a spoken sense? Even those that keep good dental hygiene.

 

But I agree the typical style zombies wouldn't be much of a threat to us in real life. Humans are also REALLY good at killing things. Especially slow moving, stupid things.

[Darkpig]

1 hour ago, ToJKa said:

Why are zombies dangerous anyway? Human teeth and fingernails are pretty bad at making living things not living.

After reading a few zombie comics I can name a few things.

 

1. Humans are nice and I mean nice in the Latin meaning of the word. Ignorant in other words. Humanity has this big taboo about killing humans even rotting shambling ones and that is what leads to their demise. Of course many are just idiots in other ways.

 

2. It is hard to tell who has a bite mark on them until it is too late and their bite infects you.

 

3. This video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuKjBIBBAL8

 

[FauxFurry]

21 hours ago, ToJKa said:

Why are zombies dangerous anyway? Human teeth and fingernails are pretty bad at making living things not living.

The horror inherent in the original zombie stories is that one might become an undead plaything of another person rather than a fear of being torn apart by a braindead mob.

The latter was too common to be the subject of proper horror stories, anyway, being more the subject of satire.

Spoiler

 

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

[ToJKa]

Yes, i've seen the White Zombie https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0023694/?ref_=nv_sr_8

 

Was it Dawn of the Dead that turned them into flesh eating monsters?

 

Anyway, thought of that due to a scene in Resident Evil 2 remake, where a cop gets literally torn in half by a single zombie. I found myself asking if that is really a zombie back there, or an Alien? Or perhaps a bear with chainsaws for arms?

 

[CookieKookie]

Ways to kill Nazeem. Anyone willing to help? 

[FauxFurry]

50 minutes ago, ToJKa said:

Yes, i've seen the White Zombie https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0023694/?ref_=nv_sr_8

 

Was it Dawn of the Dead that turned them into flesh eating monsters?

 

Anyway, thought of that due to a scene in Resident Evil 2 remake, where a cop gets literally torn in half by a single zombie. I found myself asking if that is really a zombie back there, or an Alien? Or perhaps a bear with chainsaws for arms?

 

Yes, Romero and Russo were responsible for turning Zombies from squishy stinky robots into flesh eating ghouls (the term that Romero actually used for the monsters but Russo went with Zombies in his off-shoots movies).

In Resident Evil, they are ironically closer to kill bots than they are in nearly everything else, being bio-weapons meant to mop up the survivors of the bomb blast which spreads the virus (at least as of RE3) despite their inspiration being Night of the Living Dead.

[landess]

6 hours ago, FauxFurry said:

The horror inherent in the original zombie stories is that one might become an undead plaything of another person

It was interesting to see Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - Used the 'original' zombi type, which has roots in the local mythos.

 

Spoiler

 

 

[landess]

While I had fun commenting on the Zombie thoughts, what brought me to post today was thinking about:

 

Why is it NASA and other space agencies seem so competent when doing god tier math to create plans for launching deep space probes?  Then when this same skill should be applied to the tracking of possible Earth impact events, no definite answer can be given. All we get is speculation and sensationalism.

 

Either the math is harder, given the required observations to predict movement paths lack the needed facts to create a solid calculation, or they already know, and won't tell us.....

[TactusAuValiiRath]

I finished taking the pics for my Sims 4 story's final chapter and now I feel sad.

[Ernest Lemmingway]

9 hours ago, landess said:

While I had fun commenting on the Zombie thoughts, what brought me to post today was thinking about:

 

Why is it NASA and other space agencies seem so competent when doing god tier math to create plans for launching deep space probes?  Then when this same skill should be applied to the tracking of possible Earth impact events, no definite answer can be given. All we get is speculation and sensationalism.

 

Either the math is harder, given the required observations to predict movement paths lack the needed facts to create a solid calculation, or they already know, and won't tell us.....

Don't post things like that! It makes too much sense. And we cannot tolerate logic and sense on this board.

 

I think my cat is trying to eat me. If I don't wear socks he'll bite my toes. When I lay down in bed he sits on my chest and licks my nose and forehead until the flesh is raw. He must be tenderizing me in his own kitty way.

[landess]

18 minutes ago, Ernest Lemmingway said:

Don't post things like that! It makes too much sense. And we cannot tolerate logic and sense on this board.

Even recruit level math has it's purpose....

 

Spoiler

 

 

[Darkpig]

1 hour ago, Ernest Lemmingway said:

Don't post things like that! It makes too much sense. And we cannot tolerate logic and sense on this board.

 

I think my cat is trying to eat me. If I don't wear socks he'll bite my toes. When I lay down in bed he sits on my chest and licks my nose and forehead until the flesh is raw. He must be tenderizing me in his own kitty way.

*Looks up the height of lemmings*

13 – 18 centimetres

 

That is one small cat.

[FauxFurry]

20 minutes ago, Darkpig said:

*Looks up the height of lemmings*

13 – 18 centimetres

 

That is one small cat.

Or one big Lemming (if not a blue Caybara).

[Darkpig]

2 hours ago, FauxFurry said:

 

It kinda looks like a baboon if you look at it from an angle while drunk.