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What do you look for in a partner?


Guest Jain

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Guest ...failure

Let me be the first person to open my mind friend... ;)

 

:) Looks & beauty

:) Intelligence & smart about most things

:) Loves me and my family & things I own

:) Open warm & welcoming mind

:) Good sense about everything

:) Can figure out life

         and

:) Knows how to enjoy life than worrying...

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1. Personality: Not Depressing and has a sense of humor.

2. Hygiene: They need to take care of themselves.

3. Their likes and dislikes: We have to share something in common.

4. Looks: No matter what anyone says this will always be a factor. This plays into hygiene quiet a bit, but I do have some preferences. (dark hair, not hugely overweight a little pudge is good, preferably shorter then me.)

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A kind personality and high intelligence. Not on the level of Einstein ofc, but smart and knows how the world works etc etc.

Open minded, and has great sense of humor (dark and dirty, and it's not afraid to make fun of herself).

Honest and have opinions on their own, instead of believing what media tells you.

 

A big plus, is if she share some of my interests.

 

I have some preferences when it comes to looks. But in general, I don't care if she's blond, black, or red haired.

In my world, I find women who look Metal/Gothic, very attractive, but at the same time, women can look incredible hot wearing different (lounge) suits as well.

In short, I don't care how she dresses. Same with make-up. I don't mind some, but not to much. Stuff that emphasize eyes and lips are okay.

 

 

 

 

 

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What are the sort of traits that you look for  in a potential boyfriend or girlfriend?

 

I'm going to vent a little as I answer this.

 

In a hypothetical scenario, I'm mostly just compatible with an individual that's capable of being emotionally and psychologically connected to me opposed to just usually liking the same things as I do (i.e; games, films, novels, anime, etc) and also rationally caring for themselves as they do for me. That's what's missing in personal relationships these days, or mostly for a long time, and that's why hardly anyone is satisfied with anything. If nobody is satisfied and doesn't stay with someone even when they're at their lowest point to drag them out of the manhole, then everything else has been wasted and lost. Most people can't handle being alone while others try to but ultimately still associate with people to not feel alone. Then there's people that desire a particular soul-mate that takes an unfortunate amount of people to fail first for that one person to succeed.

 

Then there's people who do succeed and are given everything by the person that cares about them - which can either become another cliché fairyland story or tragically end darker than nightfall. Anyone that lies, steals, betrays, abandons, hurts, and furthermore drifts away from someone that they used to love for an abysmal reason doesn't deserve love and that person left traumatized deserves better. I could go on but that's just a basic way of saying love shouldn't be abused more than given to someone special.

 

 

very true words...

 

as for the original question, to me it's most important that she is on par with my intellect, as that's been the breakup reason with my other relationships before. So she should also have a political opinion and be open minded enough to discuss new ideas. (i'm constantly changing my opinionb based on new knowledge, even if my basic opinion stays the same.)

She shouldn't be a regular disco-goer, as i hate loud places and that kind of brainless carneval. instead a visit at the pub with livemusic is my idea of a nice evening out.

She should like dark humor, as i grew up with Monty Python and can't just switch that off.

She shouldn't be too fucked up in the head, because there's only space for one fucked up head in a relationship :D

She should be kind, with a great heart, caring, but she should also know what she wants and be independant enough.

it's enough to having to kick my own butt out to doing something, can't handle doing that for a second person :D

Looks... difficult... i hate too much makeup, i love natural beauty. everything too artificial grosses me out. other than that, she should be neither fat nor skinny. I'm not into heavy women, but i also find that deathcamp-look disgusting - real women have curves!

 

and then, i'm not even out for the hunt - i currently sort out my life, so there's not even space for a woman to bring havok unto me :D

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Guest toymachine

1. Looks - because the way you present yourself should matter. If you don't take care of yourself, it speaks a lot about you.

2. Dangerously Seductive and Nawty/Playful - Attraction is a beautiful thing and temptation can be a deadly thing. In a good way so to speak.

3. Sexy on the dance floor - because I love to dance.

4. Open minded - because one shouldn't be afraid to try new things when the opportunity arises.

5. Outgoing - The nocturnal life is my kind of life, but there's more to it than just that.

6. Intellectual Mind - because I like to know she's capable of making wise decisions for herself. And know what's going on around the world. Keeps social activities quite interesting.

7, Common interest - despite the differences because it's unavoidable, common interests is very very important to me.

8. Confidence - because it's nice to be with a confident woman, It just makes her even more attractive.

9. Loyalty - To me loyalty means a lot. I don't hold grudge on the past. Not anymore.

10. Humor - Doesn't matter if it's goofy or sarcastic. I can be both.

11. Passion - I am a firm believer in doing what you love. And I can dive into this subject and probably write a whole book about it, but I won't. But being passionate speaks a lot about someone to me.

12. No kids. I very much love kids and want one or two of my own, but I'm only interested in a woman who has none.

 

 

Edit: Forgot to mention I am only into females with attitude. For me, leave that shyness at the door.

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1. Highly Intellectual - A big turn on for me, mostly. Especially those who are more inclined to the scientific studies.

2. Confident - A woman who can hold her own is definitely a partner worth leaning on.

3. Looks - Not the most important to me, but I can really only be with those who clean themselves regularly. x.x

4. Kinky - Doesn't even have to be something I like. Just new and exciting.

5. Loyalty - If one isn't enough, it's time to find someone else and move on.

6. Honest - And brutally, too. I don't like it when people talk sweet to me, or sugar-coat things. I want the nasty, honest truth.

7. Emotional Stability - Being a fairly emotionless person myself, I like women who don't need to be touched or cared for every minute of every day. Sometimes I just like to be alone.

8. Conflicting Interests - I like arguing, and debating. I want to see something through another person's eyes. I want them to like things that I don't, and introduce me to them.

 

 

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1.) Healthy Figure- She doesn't have to be super thin, but I live a highly physical lifestyle, and need someone who can keep up.

 

2.) Humorous and Playful- If we can't have fun outside of the bedroom, we're going to be nothing more then fuck-buddies, and since I'm not particularly hyper-sexual, maybe not even that.

 

3.) Not as Smart as me- Going to receive some flack from that, but, I'm used to being the smarter and more level-headed one in the group. Smart women are fine, but in my history, they talk down to me. It's pretty important to me to not have to feel like an idiot in my own home. I don't look down on women who aren't as smart as me before anyone asks.

 

4.) Nurturing, and Caring- I got plenty of issues, and while I don't lean on anybody, having someone with empathy in my life is important.

 

5.) Cute face- Last on my list, but I'm a bit vain, and I don't want to be the better looking one in my relationship, besides, soft sweet eyes melt me like butter.

 

 

That's my list, thankfully my gf has those qualities, and more.  ;)

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I won't make any order or level but for me I guess it would be

 

-Intelligent enough ( Not asking for a genius but who can think straight )

-Dynamic person ( Not someone too much dynamic either , I'm not really dynamic myself so it would be annoying if nothing happens )

-looks ( That's really subjective thing, I tend to like a lot of different faces and don't even know why/not too much overweight )

-open minded

-Honest

-Loyal

-at least a bit kinky.

 

 

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I'm 30 and recently married, but I've had half a dozen failed relationships to use as experience.

 

I really value everything that has happened to me--from the painful and heartbreaking to the sweetest memories.  Everything informed who I am today, even the worst decisions helped lead me to my current life which I'm very happy with.

 

That aside, look for this:

someone who can communicate. 

Someone who is patient.

Someone who laughs at your jokes and makes you laugh in return.

Someone who pushes you a little but isn't offended when you say no.

Someone who listens to you as much as they like to talk about themselves.

Someone who is intelligent, but not the type who's competitive about it.

Someone who isn't afraid to argue or disagree with you.

 

Pitfalls:

Anything the opposite of what's above

Someone who is immature or has Disney-esque expectations of romance.

Someone who admires characteristics on your "résumé" more than your personality.

 

 

 

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Must haves:

1. Kind and supportive.

2. Intelligent.

3. Hobbies which are different from mine.

4. Good at explaining things.

5. Open and Honest communicator.

6. Not ugly.

 

Would likes:

1. Assertiveness

2. self-awareness

3. kinky

4. similar libido

5. similar morals and beliefs

 

Must not:

1. Expect expensive gifts, fancy dinners, etc. (As much as I'm the type to do things like spend a lot of money on gifts, that should be something that happens because I want to spend my money on my partner, not because I'm under pressure to do so)

2. Be incapable of managing money.

3. be transphobic/attempt to influence the pace of my transition

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1. Someone intelligent and open minded, so we can actually talk with each other insead of just having sex and nothing else

2. Supportive and honest. Someone who won't blindly agree with me because "people that I like are always right"

3. Highly fuckable, confident and very dominating, preferably someone who is into BDSM

4. Has at least similar interests

5. Doesn't take life very seriously

6. No hard drugs

7. And definitely doesn't want to have kids

8. Loyal, but cuckold is perfectly fine if we both agree to have a third person in our relationship

9. Preferably a guy who is a little older than me

 

If tl;dr - Smart Kinklord

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I met my girlfriend, the love of my life, when she answered a "Do you like hentai?" ad i posted on Craigslist.

 

Why yes, I AM the luckiest guy on earth.

 

Seriously though, to me the most important things are similar personalities. You can both like hentai or video games or whatever, but if you're really passive aggressive and she's abusive, it's not gonna work out.

 

My old answer used to be a caring personality, good sense of humor, intelligent, open minded, hopefully similar interests and pretty and all that. But I got some really good advice from somebody once:  they said that it's easy to love someone, but hard to like them. Now, if I had to look again for some unseen Godforsaken reason, I'd look for someone it's easy to get along with, someone we share some interests and goals with, short and long term, but who really I just enjoy being around, even when we're doing nothing.

 

All those old lists of whats important and what she'll look like and all that just made an image in my head of someone who doesn't exist, which actually made it take longer for me to accept that I love my girlfriend. Getting rid of those ideals, and of letting a person make new ideals for me, really freed me.

 

TLDR Someone who's not an asshole and likes hentai.

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I think a better question would be how to meet people with similar interests?

for example the previous poster says "Someone who's not an asshole and likes hentai" so... what and how are you going to do that?

Go on craigs list? lol...

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  • 2 weeks later...

Someone with whom I can have the biggest meanest argument and still sleep in the same bed with regardless of the outcome. In other words one who shares the principle of attack argument being made, not the person making it.

 

(Think I'm currently sitting on a winner)

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  • 1 month later...
  • 2 weeks later...

In my experience, whatever list you create will always exclude something REALLY fundamental. Like say, stable mental health, not huge issues over an ex, and something really out of left field.

Just a personal preference, but not including physical appearance, which you obviously need or you're not going to be attracted to them in the first place, someone who you can REALLY trust, someone you're good friends with, and this is oddly key in my experience, something you can do almost everything you like with.

Obviously, women are not quite as physically as robust as men so to speak, but a woman who can't dive off the rocks at the beach and at least vaguely keep up with you?

Eh...that's right up there with chicks who can't carry shopping or run for something.

Again, personal preference, but a good friend is better than some wild fake romance bullshit.

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