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Addressing name calling between sexes. How do we keep relationships kinky but not toxic?


Darkpig

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On 9/20/2021 at 12:39 AM, Darkpig said:

Ah legal ground. The bane of so many so many would be college students who for some reason or another are expected to cite every idea that ever came out of the mouth of every simpleton in history. I get the whole checking your sources part and that would save on so much fear mongering. On that note should give credit where credit is do not because it is illegal not to but it is the right thing to do. But I'll transition to my next point.

 

You do bring up some good points so while I can't say I agree with everything I do see where you are coming from especially with that last part about independence. I have heard of this idea for a possible alternative, I think it was interdependence. Unfortunately since humans thrive in competition it always boomerangs back to independence. Of course this means people are constantly bickering with each other meaning hurt feelings at best and lost limbs at worst. Women are no exception to this rule. I have met some terrible fucking people and some of them are women. Then there are many who are wonderful people. Unfortunately legal issues are not a one way street and many more influential people do get away with horrible things with little more than a slap to the wrist. Maybe we need to find a way for people to sit down with their lawyers and talk this shit out before this turns into a full blown legal issue. Same with lovers. If either party violates their part of the customized contract legal repercussions follow. Maybe it is time for both men and women to move on to move on to the 21st century. Anyway fish on a bicycle I think I'll make it my new bumper sticker to piss off another Chris- anyway. Relationships shouldn't be rushed so to quote the local hippie "Take your time bruh." Or maybe it was a surfer. Whatever.

 

Bicycle bicycle bicycle🎵
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle🎵

 

College students?  Heh.  Take a look at the recent statistics.  Something approaching 60% of college students are female.  The right thing to do won't do you any good if the state ruins your life when they find out - because it's illegal.  Case in point: Had a female I know well get "taken" by her long time boyfriend, then told a friend.  Said friend convinced her she got raped, and to get the college involved.  He got very lucky.  Instead of getting arrested, he had to put on his 'pathetic wimp' hat and ask her every time they had sex after that for quite a while.  Ruined the mood, I'm sure.  It's not fear mongering if the "authorities" can ruin your life for you.  There are perfectly valid reasons to be fearful.

Competition.  They've been so busy telling men and women to compete against each other in so many other aspects of life for so long, then it's been brought into the relationship between men and women romantically/sexually - and then they wonder why men and women can't get along romantically/sexually afterwards.  Oops.

As for the influential types getting away with things that the masses don't, money helps in many things.  Grease the right palms, and you'll do just fine, no matter how badly you treat others.  Many people think the U.S. is not corrupt.  I'm quite sure that the U.S. is just much better about hiding it than many other places.

Ah, here we go with inviting even more law into the bedroom.  Hate to say it, but with regards to the most common of legal documents - pre-nups - the vast majority of lawyers/judges use them as toilet paper.  They'll get thrown out just as soon as you need them on some trumped up excuse.  In the mean time, if you're going to throw a legally binding document at someone before you disrobe and throw your naughty bits at them... good luck!

'Interdependence" and "co-dependence" seem to be a little murky.  I think one could easily be misconstrued as the other.

 

Here's your bike:

2107183769_FishBike.jpg.cdaa530f1774a4b7cdd5a7d88456d42b.jpg

Edited by AKM
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I've been liking the posts so far but I feel as if the recent posts are missing any concrete answers. Here is what I gathered so far:

  • Romance with the opposite sex has become a competitive ordeal
  • Something something legal problems. Yes I'm terrible at this shit.
  • Given how "gender roles" have changed over the years romance is in uncharted territory.

From that it sounds like there is a dose of skepticism in these posts which isn't necessarily a bad thing and can be beneficial when interacting with strangers but with people closer to you not so much. Even with that I feel as if I'm missing something. Accepting differences perhaps? Lets see men are typically bigger and stronger than women and women are a bit more attractive than men overall. Then again I've heard women often fare well against men in high school wrestling but then again they do go by the weight class system so Is it a safe bet to say that men are generally stronger?

 

Edited by Darkpig
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11 hours ago, Darkpig said:

I've been liking the posts so far but I feel as if the recent posts are missing any concrete answers.

 

That is because people don't want concrete answers. Such answers are too bitter to accept. Not in a shaming sense but in a sense that the purest truth is too harsh for them. The listed points are kind of in the right direction but they miss the target. That is why there is a sense that something is missing.

 

11 hours ago, Darkpig said:

 

  • Romance with the opposite sex has become a competitive ordeal

 

It's not about competition at all. It's about simple cost/benefit analysis. In other words, compare the amount of time, energy and resources you invest into a relationship and what you get out of a relationship. A modern relationship for a man is like having a second job. And it's hard to tell which job is more tiresome and taxing, going to work or being in a relationship. Not a single person has told me so much as one reason why investing time, energy and resources into a relationship is worth it or what are some actual, worthwhile benefits. The feeling of companionship, care, support and other crap is just a feeling, it's not a real, material, tangible thing.

 

11 hours ago, Darkpig said:
  • Something something legal problems. Yes I'm terrible at this shit.

 

The laws on divorce, domestic violence, child custody, harassment, sexism, etc. are stacked against men.

Men get to pay the lion's share of income in divorce.

Women can make a false police call on domestic violence without any evidence and the man gets taken away and spends time in detention before any investigation takes place. If a woman gets caught making false allegations, she gets a slap on the wrist, if any punishment at all, "so as not to discourage other women from speaking out".

Women get child custody in most cases, over 8/10 of cases.

If a woman screams sexism, she gets lots of attention and support from everyone around. If a man says anything about sexism, no one cares and often people even try to shut that man up.

 

11 hours ago, Darkpig said:
  • Given how "gender roles" have changed over the years romance is in uncharted territory.

 

Not exactly. It's not so much uncharted as it is useless. You don't need romance to have sex anymore. And sex is the main reason why men even bother with relationships. Sex has never been as abundant and available as it is now. Like I said earlier, romance is pointless from the cost/benefit analysis. Why do men need romance? What do they get from a romance?

 

11 hours ago, Darkpig said:

Lets see men are typically bigger and stronger than women

 

That's a scientifically proven fact, not even a theory or a hypothesis. Strength is quantifiable.

 

11 hours ago, Darkpig said:

women are a bit more attractive than men overall

 

Attraction is a purely subjective notion. It is tied to men's strive for fertility, which is why men are more attracted to young women aged 18-25.

 

11 hours ago, Darkpig said:

Then again I've heard women often fare well against men in high school wrestling

 

I have never heard about this even once. But I have heard about the Australian women's national soccer team losing to high-school boys.

 

11 hours ago, Darkpig said:

Is it a safe bet to say that men are generally stronger?

 

It's a fact. If it were otherwise, there wouldn't be male and female segregation in sports, would there?

 

There's something even more interesting. Men and women have separate chess championships and even e-sports competitions. Can you guess why?

 

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11 hours ago, catchyorbit said:

That is because people don't want concrete answers. Such answers are too bitter to accept. Not in a shaming sense but in a sense that the purest truth is too harsh for them. The listed points are kind of in the right direction but they miss the target. That is why there is a sense that something is missing.

Aye. That would often mean pointing blame on themselves and not anybody else.

11 hours ago, catchyorbit said:

It's not about competition at all. It's about simple cost/benefit analysis. In other words, compare the amount of time, energy and resources you invest into a relationship and what you get out of a relationship. A modern relationship for a man is like having a second job. And it's hard to tell which job is more tiresome and taxing, going to work or being in a relationship. Not a single person has told me so much as one reason why investing time, energy and resources into a relationship is worth it or what are some actual, worthwhile benefits. The feeling of companionship, care, support and other crap is just a feeling, it's not a real, material, tangible thing.

Depends on the woman and you have someone that does half the chores so not a bad deal.

11 hours ago, catchyorbit said:

The laws on divorce, domestic violence, child custody, harassment, sexism, etc. are stacked against men.

I have heard that is the case. For starters the marriage system is horribly outdated. The only ones really in favor of it are cults anyway so let them use their broken system while you and your lover find something else.

11 hours ago, catchyorbit said:

That's a scientifically proven fact, not even a theory or a hypothesis. Strength is quantifiable.

Then I'll go with that until someone proves otherwise.

11 hours ago, catchyorbit said:

Attraction is a purely subjective notion. It is tied to men's strive for fertility, which is why men are more attracted to young women aged 18-25.

Depends on how bad your eyes get as you get older.

11 hours ago, catchyorbit said:

There's something even more interesting. Men and women have separate chess championships and even e-sports competitions. Can you guess why?

Tribal thinking. Men and women would rather do sports with someone more alike to them.

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On 9/22/2021 at 6:08 AM, Darkpig said:

 Even with that I feel as if I'm missing something. Accepting differences perhaps? Lets see men are typically bigger and stronger than women and women are a bit more attractive than men overall. Then again I've heard women often fare well against men in high school wrestling but then again they do go by the weight class system so Is it a safe bet to say that men are generally stronger?

 

 

 

> Women who can compete with men in sports are very rare. My wife, for instance is extremely beautiful and attractive and unlike me she can fight with many men because she is very good in martial arts, but she can't beat our husband and she can never lift the same weight as he does when we exercise in our home gym. She is stronger than me but weaker than him. So, naturally women are physically weaker then men and those who are stronger, are rare exceptions. That's why the disk and hammer throw weight is lighter for women then for men. They cannot compete together.

 

> I see fair competition in intellectual games between women and men. There is no reason why we would be less smarter than men. Take the history for example and you will see many women who accomplished marvelous results in science, politics, education and so on and so on. :)

Edited by EvalovesEP
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Found this one, and it is so accurate it's scary.  More appropriate to the now closed 'Toxic Masculinity' thread, but anyway, a quote:

"Saw a great tweet from a female that said:

I can't imagine how defeated I would feel if I were an innocent six year old girl seeing 'The Future Is Male' printed all over shirts and notebooks and hearing 'Toxic Femininity and Women are the problem!' in the mainstream all the time... I'd probably give up then and there.  That's what boys and young men face on a daily basis.  It's toxic and damaging to young men."

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23 hours ago, AKM said:

Found this one, and it is so accurate it's scary.  More appropriate to the now closed 'Toxic Masculinity' thread, but anyway, a quote:

"Saw a great tweet from a female that said:

I can't imagine how defeated I would feel if I were an innocent six year old girl seeing 'The Future Is Male' printed all over shirts and notebooks and hearing 'Toxic Femininity and Women are the problem!' in the mainstream all the time... I'd probably give up then and there.  That's what boys and young men face on a daily basis.  It's toxic and damaging to young men."

First of all Twitter is shit right now probably because of some orange fat idiot. Anyway the fact that this "female" is giving up so easily in a what if scenario is "her" personal opinion. It is a what if scenario because men are the status quo and dare I say the ultimate "cancel culture" because that is what they are, silent monoliths who only care about money and getting a hand job. Also you are not part of their club because you are not some white hetero billion dollar corporate CEO man.

 

I mean you seem to be fine so where does the problem lie?

 

Maybe it is some branch of feminism I overlooked but first I think we should separate the categories into corporate feminism and political feminism. Corporate feminism can go suck a dick. Yes I'm talking about you ass soap commercial. But political feminism is a bit more complicated because people. One controversial topic I know of is allowing women to do whatever they want with their bodies which you would think is simple but no people are going to make it complicated.

 

I might as well address the counter argument and a point you brought up earlier that women are more likely to have custody over children than men but have you ever stopped to ask why? I saw a couple articles about how old child custody cases defaulted to mothers in the belief that mothers are by far the most qualified before becoming more gender neutral so hopefully that will give you some relief since it is an ever changing process. How often each parent provides for their child is also considered which so far has leaned to mostly the mothers. Spending more time with your children will likely increase the likelihood of being the primary caregiver. These are my sources I read about the child custody topic so feel free to check them out.

https://www.hg.org/legal-articles/who-is-more-likely-to-get-custody-a-mother-or-a-father-31386

https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/divorce/for-men/divorce-for-men-why-women-get-child-custody-over-80-time

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