Jump to content

SimsNomads

Recommended Posts

Hi ladies and Gents I got a friend that im trying to help who is stuck in 2 situations and doesn't really know what move to make, like in a game of chest lol. I just want to know the community thoughts of 2 scenarios and it goes a little something like this, as I said, im just trying to help a friend and want to know what you ladies and men thoughts are on what my friend should do.

 

Scenario 1 lol - Lets say, you went to college and you meet this girl, kind of a boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Anyway you had class with the girl and you seen her and conversate with her a couple times, she also gives you her phone number, Facebook etc and she also has a child. Now its been a year of college and you haven't spoken with the girl since that year you were in college and you want to talk with the girl again maybe ask her out. Do you think after 1 whole year you should connect back with this girl if you really like her and think about her and she is beautiful also single with child. Ladies would you want this guy or girl to connect back with you after a year you met him/her who you gave your number to because you could maybe like him/her and he/she is a decent guy or girl. What would you do. What do you think my friend should do. Should they connect back with the girl and ask her out as a friend or should they completely back down because of lack of communication after a year.

 

 

Feel free to give negative or positive thoughts to the full extent. 

 

 

Scenario 2 lol - Lets say you have a one night stand with a girl. The sex wasn't that satisfying to you cause you didn't get to do all that you wanted to do but the girl said we can do it again another time if you want. You dont have her number but you got her Facebook social media etc and, its also been a year maybe a year and a half since you haven't seen your one night stand but you want to connect back with her because maybe you might want to have sex with her again or get into a relationship with this girl you had a one night stand with. She also (not sure on this one) you were told has a child. This girl gets around too. What would you do. what do you think my friend should do. Should they connect with a their one night stand again or should they completely back down and move on.

 

 

As again feel free to give negative and positive thoughts about both scenarios.
Trash talk is welcome.

Link to comment
54 minutes ago, TheWhite said:

1. if I had met a single dad then I'd NEVER get in touch with him again. Wouldn't even have wanted his number and FB in the first place. The exes of single dads are psychos. Period. Those men have no chance ever again.

 

2.  Wouldn't even had a one night stand with a dude who has a kid cause his ex is a psycho.

Scenario 1 Reverse - Ok Ok were getting somewhere lol I get what your saying. But what if you were a single mom and you met a guy with no kids and you like him and you decide to exchange numbers etc , what would you do then. What would you want him to do. Hes not a dad. He is just single guy and you think he is ok and want him to maybe talk to you. You could be waiting for him to make a move of asking you out but how would you want him to ask you out after a year. You could maybe build up emotions for him and think about him and the time you gave your number to him to hit you and you know just start something. Oh and maybe your ex has moved on and so should you so what then you can choose to talk to who ever you want because your not with him.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, SimsNomads said:

Do you think after 1 whole year you should connect back with this girl

After 1 year, she has most likely moved on. If you were going to make a move then you had the chance then.

 

 

1 hour ago, SimsNomads said:

its also been a year maybe a year and a half since you haven't seen your one night stand

I don't know, in my opinion, you waited until all you options were exhausted, now you want to go back through your little black book and get some pickup booty?

Link to comment
12 minutes ago, dharvinia said:

S 1 - After 1 year, she has most likely moved on. If you were going to make a move then you had the chance then.

 

 

S 2 - I don't know, in my opinion, you waited until all you options were exhausted, now you want to go back through your little black book and get some pickup booty?

S 1 - I see. Where getting somewhere

 

S 2 - Ouch that hurts lol im beginning to see what im gonna tell my friend.

Link to comment

Even the scenarios have a LOT of conditions - heh

 

My answer is pretty much the same for both: If you are interested in someone, you reach out and see if they feel the same. Since you have a 'history' regardless of how fleeting, there is a connection which according to the scenarios hasn't been explored. If any of the conditions are a factor, they must be addressed first before action is taken/not taken.

 

These scenarios leave a lot of unanswered questions which may influence a direct yes or no answer. As they stand, a yes - do reconnect is my choice.

 

Observation: due to the similarities in both scenarios, I suspect they are the same situation with slight differences in presentation. Do I get a cookie :P 

Link to comment
30 minutes ago, landess said:

Even the scenarios have a LOT of conditions - heh

 

My answer is pretty much the same for both: If you are interested in someone, you reach out and see if they feel the same. Since you have a 'history' regardless of how fleeting, there is a connection which according to the scenarios hasn't been explored. If any of the conditions are a factor, they must be addressed first before action is taken/not taken.

 

These scenarios leave a lot of unanswered questions which may influence a direct yes or no answer. As they stand, a yes - do reconnect is my choice.

 

Observation: due to the similarities in both scenarios, I suspect they are the same situation with slight differences in presentation. Do I get a cookie :P 

So what im getting out of this is you believe in 2nd chances am I right ?

Link to comment
24 minutes ago, SimsNomads said:

So what im getting out of this is you believe in 2nd chances am I right ?

This would preclude a first chance.

 

From what I understand: 2 persons meet. There is a moment, or night, of interest. Then for reasons unknown, following up was never explored.

 

As long as no conditions exist which would flag the possibility of negative feelings between the two, which would form the basis for harassment, then reconnecting is just that. Once reconnected, conditions for a possibility of moving forward will be revealed, and hopefully a mature response will follow.

 

Personal anecdote: Slept with a woman on occasion - no strings. Several months later attempted to reconnect. She was involved. I apologized for any inconvenience or misunderstanding. Wished her well. Moved on. There were no feelings of being uncomfortable since it was handled maturely and with respect.

Link to comment
20 minutes ago, landess said:

This would preclude a first chance.

 

 following up was never explored.

 

As long as no conditions exist which would flag the possibility of negative feelings between the two, then reconnecting is just that. Once reconnected, conditions for a possibility of moving forward will be revealed, and hopefully a mature response will follow.

 

20 minutes ago, linarielle said:

 if you give a try you will get an answer, if you don't...  well,  you will only stay with some doubts and probably regret so ...

Mmm ok. These are some great thoughts. I can agree and understand the positive and the negative. 

Link to comment

Tbh for the 2nd scenario, it arguable, sleeping with a whore might seem kinda wrong to some but Ive seen whores turn into mothers and house wives so...idk my friend looks past how many guys she slept with which can be a good thing if you really like who you like, then It shouldn't matter who you been sleeping around with or who you haven't. Its as landess said following back up was never explored. Also you can put this in reverse for Man whores too just saying.

Link to comment

(1st senario) 1 year is alot but you never really know whats going on in a persons head until you try and follow up back especially if there was no negative energy between the two. Female or not. I agree with you abit Linarielle, give a try to get and answer. Makes sense. Ima need a little more though from others who might think different, before I decide on what im going to tell my friend.

Link to comment

Just me again, from a woman's point of view, you come back after a year, there had better be a monumental reason other than you'd just like to look me up and see what goes.

 

Most women are looking for someone who is dependable, someone they could count on to be there over the years.  In my book you have already shown yourself to be a bit ghost,

Only there when it suits your purpose.   Tell me why I should interrupt my life to give you a chance? How do I know you just don't want a one night stand then off you go again?

If you can convince me, then you just might have a chance with this woman you are talking about.

Link to comment

Speaking from personal experience:

 

S1: Tell your friend to start running and get the hell outta there.

A wise man once said: "What kind of man wouldn't jump at chance  to raise  somebody else's kid and be hated in his own  household..."

But seriously...no. Just no. Years ago i was dating a single mother and it was not a pleasant experience.

 

S2: Again...Nope.

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Hana0nline said:

Speaking from personal experience:

 

S1: Tell your friend to start running and get the hell outta there.

A wise man once said: "What kind of man wouldn't jump at chance  to raise  somebody else's kid and be hated in his own  household..."

But seriously...no. Just no. Years ago i was dating a single mother and it was not a pleasant experience.

 

S2: Again...Nope.

Hana0nline you had me rolling for your first statement for S 1- LMFAOOOO ?

 

Now for your thoughts on the second scenario - In a way I actually can agree because, Im actually going through a similar situation but im not the one being hated.

 I mean i dont really hate the guy I just want nothing to do with him. I wasn't really raise up to hate others but to love and respect. I respect the man dont really show him to much love though. In a way i can agree to this.

 

A wise man once said: "What kind of man wouldn't jump at chance  to raise  somebody else's kid and be hated in his own  household..."

Now thats just deep, you poet lol. 

Link to comment
4 hours ago, dharvinia said:

Just me again, from a woman's point of view, you come back after a year, there had better be a monumental reason other than you'd just like to look me up and see what goes.

 

Most women are looking for someone who is dependable, someone they could count on to be there over the years.  In my book you have already shown yourself to be a bit ghost,

Only there when it suits your purpose.   Tell me why I should interrupt my life to give you a chance? How do I know you just don't want a one night stand then off you go again?

If you can convince me, then you just might have a chance with this woman you are talking about.

Dharviania you seem more like the independent type, I can respect that and everything you said, I agree but, the last thing that I want to avoid is getting my friend heart broken. I understand getting into relationships is harder now a days. You got to look a certain way, dress a certian way, have a certain type of personality, have a certian Job/Career, make a certain amount of money, live certain way, live in a certain place, have certain friends, keep up with communcation and the list goes on and deeper. People expect too much from others that struggle to ask their crush on a simple date with whom they want but can't because of self doubt on the things expected from those with High Standard or to go deeper, to just give up some ass. There is alot of lonely people out there and maybe just a little bit of touch and rub can't hurt and will even change a person good or bad.

Link to comment
2 hours ago, SimsNomads said:

Damn, you didn't waist no time Molevalence. You care to elaborate a little bit than just a simle no lol :lol:

S1. After a year I would have probably moved on as she probably would have as well. If I happen to run into her again I would probably do simple conversation/catch up and move on.

 

S2. You can laugh at me but I'm not a one night stand guy. (On the account how I was raised) I don't judge people who do it it's their freedom to do so but I won't engage it I am too set in my ways.

Link to comment

In either scenario it has been over a year since they last even spoke. If I were the one being contacted after that long I would feel like I was a fall back second choice and be none to happy about it. As MOLEVALENCE said " If I happen to run into her again I would probably do simple conversation/catch up", then maybe feel them out to see but don't make a cold call after a year.

Link to comment

I'm not advising you to do what I did, I'm only telling you what the results of me doing both of those scenarios (though with longer time periods between them, and no kids involved for the first, and a kid on my end for the ONS).

 

There was a girl that I was relatively close to in high school and, while on facebook, I decided to message her randomly to see how she was doing.  In reality I had wanted to date her since high school, but was too pussy to ask her out.  She told me that, had I asked her in high school, we would have definitely dated.  I played it cool, took a few weeks of messaging her before going to the dating part, but she explained her issues with dating (short version: she was still getting over being an abuse victim and I will murder her ex if he's released from prison) and simply wasn't ready.  By the time she was ready to get back out there, years later, I was firmly friendzoned.  So the results of the first scenario in my experience?  She's been my best friend for 6 years and I wouldn't trade what we have for anything in the world.  I love her wholeheartedly, I tell her so every time we talk and she tells me the same, and she will always be the best friend I've ever, or will ever have.  We didn't date, and that's fine as we wouldn't have worked out in the long run most likely, considering how well we know each other now.  She would have murdered me years ago.  However, because we didn't date, she's my dearest friend.

 

The second scenario wasn't so much a ONS that I was going back to, but an ex girlfriend that we ended things very early because I simply wasn't ready.  I had just lost the love of my life in a fatal car accident and wasn't emotionally ready to date.  Probably close to 4 years later, I randomly messaged her looking to get laid after a breakup with my son's mom.  I didn't realize at the time that she was dating someone else already and was, while incredibly unhappy in her relationship, engaged regardless.  We talked for a few days, she broke up with her ex that she wanted to kick out for months, and we had a fuck session that we both desperately needed after both getting out of two bad relationships.  This was almost 3 years ago.  The results?  We're getting married next September.

Link to comment

 

5 hours ago, TheVoid said:

 ( S 1 ) she explained her issues with dating (an abuse victim)  and simply wasn't ready.  By the time she was ready to get back out there, years later, I was firmly friendzoned.  So the results of the first scenario in my experience?  She's been my best friend for 6 years and I wouldn't trade what we have for anything in the world.  I love her wholeheartedly, I tell her so every time we talk and she tells me the same, and she will always be the best friend I've ever, or will ever have.  We didn't date, and that's fine as we wouldn't have worked out in the long run most likely, considering how well we know each other now.  She would have murdered me years ago.  However, because we didn't date, she's my dearest friend.

 

 ( S 2 ) Probably close to 4 years later, I randomly messaged her looking to get laid after a breakup with my son's mom.  I didn't realize at the time that she was dating someone else already and was, while incredibly unhappy in her relationship, engaged regardless.  We talked for a few days, she broke up with her ex that she wanted to kick out for months, and we had a fuck session that we both desperately needed after both getting out of two bad relationships.  This was almost 3 years ago.  The results?  We're getting married next September.

Thank you for sharing ( TheVoid ), somethings do work out for the best for some in the end. Congrats on the Marriage by the way.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. For more information, see our Privacy Policy & Terms of Use