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SexLab Confabulation (September 16, 2020) View File Confabulation [kuh n-fab-yuh-ley-shuh n] noun 1 the act of confabulating; conversation; discussion. Introduction This mod is a dialogue based sex mod for SexLab, that utilizes conversation with NPCs and others to engage in acts of sex. Inspired by SexLab Solutions, this mod expands on that idea and goes beyond just providing sexual solutions to pre-existing quests in Skyrim. In addition to adding some sex related alternatives to existing quests and dialogues, it also will introduce new dialogues with NPCs just for the sake of having sex with them. Note This mod was mostly made with a bisexual female player in mind. However, I tried to incorporate options for straight and gay male options where appropriate. If you are playing a straight male, you will have to avoid selecting the sex dialogues when talking to males. Gay male players may have to have sex with a female NPC in rare circumstances. Recent versions of the mod has options in the MCM to block certain dialogues and sex acts with NPCs of each sex. However, not all content may be covered by those options. This mod makes use of Leadin animations. I suggest setting your foreplay settings in SexLab MCM to the same timings and strip options that you have set for normal sex. MCM This mod includes an MCM with options to configure certain settings in the mod. The MCM is currently divided into two pages, a settings page and troubleshooting page. Included are settings to enable/disable certain content, in case you missed certain dialogues or installed the mod during a playthrough, as well as options to adjust time delays for certain forcegreets. There are also options to disable content based on the sex of the NPC (male and female) as well as an option to disable potential creature sex. See this blog post for additional information on the settings inside. Current Content See this blog post for more detailed information on what is covered by this mod. There is a lot more than what is shown below. *New* Followers Follower support has been added to certain parts of the mod. See this blog post to see which parts specifally. Followers can be used by placing the cursor over the desired NPC, opening the MCM and selecting them in the settings page. Their name should appear next to the Current Follower text. To actually use the follower options added in the mod, the selected follower must be the "Current Follower" in the MCM, be in the same cell as the player, and be in the CurrentFollowerFaction. Otherwise, they are not recognized by the mod. For most parts of the mod, it is assumed that the follower is female, although they are mostly referred to as a friend or follower. Skooma Request skooma from the three caravan leaders: Ri'saad, Ma'dran, and Ahkari. (5 hour CD) Request skooma and moon sugar from the skooma dealer encounter. (5 hour CD) Talking to Atahbah while carrying moon sugar can lead to sex. (5 hour CD) Dark Brotherhood Adds dialogue options to a majority of the Dark Brotherhood quest line. Can use sex to kill contracts after certain point in quest line. Dialogue with Astrid will unlock sex kills. Or you can enable in the MCM if you miss this. Quests that have been covered: Destroy the Dark Brotherhood, Sanctuary, Mourning Never Comes, Whispers in the Dark, Breaching Security, Recipe for Disaster, Hail Sithis!, Where You Hang Your Enemy's Head, The Dark Brotherhood Forever, Honor Thy Family Thieves Guild Recommend to use Sexlab Solutions, as this mod does not cover the parts that Solutions does. New dialogue options with Delvin and Vex that are available once you officially become a member of the guild. Unlocks practically all the sex options that this mod offers for the Thieves Guild. Quests that have been covered: The Fishing Job, Loud and Clear, Dampened Spirits, Silver Lining, Reparations, Under New Management You can become the Thieves Guild CumDump, which unlock a lot more sex content with the members of the Thieves Guild. Allows for sex scenes in Reparations and Under New Management Allows the Thieves Guild forcegreet option in the MCM to be enabled. Opens up new thievery and sex related jobs for Maven. Currently 5 implemented. Companions (As a member) It is recommend to review this blog post for this portion of the content, due to a majority of it not being tied directly to the in-game quests. Includes sex with most members of the Companions, with new options appearing as you progress through the questline. Companions Member forcegreet that can be enabled in the MCM after completing Take Up Arms. Allows members to force the player into sex. Will end once you join the Circle. Harbinger Party Have an orgy with the members of the Companions. Invite the guys or girls down to your study by talking to Vilkas or Aela. Companions (Non-member) It is recommend to review this blog post for this portion of the content, due to it being entirely new to the Companion questline. Adds new branch to Companions for players who don't want to join. Choose the new dialogue option when first talking to Kodlak asking if he is the leader of the Companions. If you follow through with this to the end of the dialogue chain, you will start up this part of the Companions. However, this will lock you out from joining them proper. Once you've been accepted into this role, you can talk to any member of the Companions, and some of their associates, and offer your services to them. After having sex with the members a certain amount of times (10, 20, 30) and letting 2 days pass between jobs, certain members will have new special jobs for you to complete if you choose to accept. Companions Non-Member forcegeet that can be enabled in the MCM after accepting to serve the Companions. Leads to members forcing the player into sex. Daedric Quests See this blog post for more details on each quest. Daedric Lords and Quests that have been covered: Azura: The Black Star, Clavicus Vile: A Daedra's Best Friend, Hircine: Ill met by Moonlight, Mehrunes Dagon: Pieces of the Past, Mephala: The Whispering Door, Molag Bal: The House of Horrors, Peryite: The Only Cure, Sanguine: A Night to Remember, Vaermina: Waking Nightmare, Malacath: A Cursed Tribe Dogs Can talk to dogs (Meeko, Vigilance, Stray dog, Bran, Sceolang, CuSith, Garmr) and have sex with them. Works when they aren't and are followers, with the exception of Vigilance and Meeko. Mini quest/dialogue chain that starts with Voada in Markarth. Require FFC and FCC dog animations. Can talk to Voada or the dogs again for repeatable sex. Talk to Banning about a job involving Vigilance. Requires that they are both in the same cell, and that Vigilance is not a current follower. Repeatable once a day (20 hours). Mini quest/dialogue chain when you visit Hollyfrost farm and talk to Tulvur. Require FCC and MFC dog animations. Can talk to dogs afterwards to have sex with either of them or both. Can talk to Tulvur to have sex with him and a dog again. Repeatable. Horses Talk to the five stable masters and ask if they have a job available. Unique dialogue for all five, and two scenarios presented (sex and collection). Stable master needs to be in same cell as horse for dialogue option to appear. Quest marker should point to correct horse to talk to, which brings up prompt for sex. Can have sex more than once as long as you haven't returned to stable master. Return to stable master to complete job and receive payment. Can start repeatable once a day (20 hours) job with stable master. Windhelm stable master's wife has unique dialogue after having sex with horse. Doesn't currently lead anywhere. Talk to Vex after having sex with Riften horse. Leads to a FFC horse animation. Anubis and Billy each have one animation that is compatible with this match-up. Talk to the Markarth stable master 48 hours after having sex with his horse. He will have a new dialogue option available that will lead to CCF sex with the player and two horses. Requires that the player has a player owned/ridden horse nearby. Requires CCF horse animations; Billyy's packs should have them. Create "horse treats" at a cooking pot. Activating them when next to player owned horses will entice them to sex. Shadowmere, Frost, Hearthfire horses, and horses that have been bought are supported. New dialogue option with Louis Letrush when you bring Frost to him. Leads to you receiving the horse. Talk to the Windhelm stable master after having sex with his horse to open up the option to have FMC sex with him and the horse. Currently I know of only one suitable animation by Anubs, but hopefully more will come out by animators. Misc Quests "In My Time of Need" Adds dialogue to Saadia suggesting you will help her if she has sex with you. Lets you have sex with her as long as the quest is running. Adds dialogue options to Kematu after agreeing to help him. Persuade option to bypass sex, option to have sex with just Kematu, and option to have sex with everyone present. *New* Shady Potion Seller A new NPC has been added to the Riften Ragged Flaggon. He sells special potions that can be used to engage creatures in sex and kill them. Additional content related to him will be implemented later on. Future Content I want to add more simple dialogue options with NPCs as well as some more larger dialogue chains. I also want to add more bestiality content, as I find that there is not much of that content on LL other than large quest mods. I'm also open to suggestions if you have any. Try to keep them fairly simple one or two liners with NPCs or situations that could result in sex from dialogue. Updating You should be able to just drop in a new version without much issues. Any special instructions or new notes will be included when an update comes out. Due to an issue with previous releases potentially causing quest aliases to empty on load, updating to Version 1.7.4 safely requires that: You should wait 2 in-game days without engaging in any of this mod's dialogues. You should complete any sex acts that you are currently in. You should complete any sex scenes/orgies that you are currently in. You should not have anyone following you through this mod's dialogues. If you have started the Voada dog line of sex, but not completed it yet, you should avoid updating until the Jarl has dialogue for you. You should complete the Thieves Guild Goldenglow Estate quest if it is currently running. Requirements Skyrim SexLab - Sex Animation Framework Fuz Ro D-oh This mod makes use of several unique animations as well as group animations. I suggest using animation packs from creators like Billy, Anubis, Nibbles, Baka, etc. For most of the 3p, 4p, and 5p creature animations that this mod plays you will need to to install Billyy's older creature animations to see them. They are found either in his Creature Pack 1, or in the more recent versions Billyy has separated them out into smaller packs in a separate file. Compatibility SexLab Solutions Patch for Skooma Dealer dialogue, to allow the horse treats to work on player owned horses, and compatibility with TG Reparations quest. The Choice Is Yours Patch for Lod dialogue. There is an in-mod check for The Cutting Room Floor mod. Both that mod and this mod enable the second Whiterun horse. If CRF is not installed, this mod should detect this and enable this mods placement of the horse. Dark Brotherhood for Good Guys should be loaded before (above) this mod. Even/Better Quest Objective log and objective changes have been merged with this mod. Load E/BQO before (above) this mod. Thieves Guild for Good Guys should be loaded before this mod. Conflicts have been resolved and included in this mod aside from the Fishing Job quest. A patch has been released to provide compatibility for the Fishing Job. Thieves Guild Requirements should be loaded before this mod. Conflicts have been resolved and included in this mod. Compatibility patch for Enhanced Skyrim Factions - The Companions Guild (ESF) is included. This just covers a single dialogue conflict. FAQ Q: Sex didn't play. A: Sex not starting could be the result of several different problems, however, in the case of this mod the most likely reason sex has not started is that SexLab failed to find suitable animations to play. If no animations are found, then the actors will stand around for a second and then resume their normal activities. Ensure that you have the necessary animations installed and they are registered in SexLab and show up in SexLab. Try using another mod to play the animations to make sure that they are being loaded properly. Q: I'm not being forcegreeted. A: Forcegreets are packages and a starting dialogue that rely on certain conditions being met in order to play out. Make sure that you are fufilling those conditions, i.e. being in a certain location and distance to the target. Sometimes they may end up broken due to a lag in Skyrim's scripts. You can disable and re-enable those forcegreets where this is possible to restart them. Q: The Whiterun stablemaster has no dialogue for a job. A: Most likely the horse alias needed to show the dialogue has not been filled. There is an option in the MCM to recheck and fill that alias. Q: Can you do X? A: Feel free to make suggestions and I'll note them down. There is no guarantee that I will get to it, but I do keep all suggestions in mind for when I get to making new content. Permissions Do not repost or reupload this mod without my permission. You may post translations of this mod on LL. Please message me if you would like to post a translation elsewhere. Do not include this mod or it's code in any paid or paywall locked content. You may use the included code as long as credit is given and source files are provided. If I am no longer active on the site and can not be reached, then feel free to continue the mod if you would like. You can support me if you want here. Credits KS Hairdos by Kalilies Lamae's Gaze by Pandorable Sexlab by Ashal Changelog V1.7.4 Hotfix Fixed the creature potion script to no longer select incorrect actors to have sex with and kill. Replace the old script with the new one in the download. Works for both LE and SE. V1.7.4 Fixed Farkas Dustman Cairn werewolf dialogue. Removed the say once flag, and location checks. Fixed Escaped Criminal going hostile during sex. Added new dialogue to Ennis asking about dealing with the Giant as well as altered his Solutions dialogue, to inform the player about the option of talking to the Giant. Fixed missing gender checks on Sibbi's dialogue. Maven quest dialogues will remain if the quest fails to start, giving you the chance to attempt to start them again through dialogue. "The Artifact" quest now has Falmer disabled until after talking to the Adventurer. This may or may not apply if this quest is already in progress. Follower support added to certain parts of the mod. Shady Potion Seller added, along with sex/kill potions. V1.7.3 Fixed missing flags on quest alias for third Maven quest. Added sex part to Aela's Animal Extermination radiant quest. V1.7.2 Added MCM option to disable player undressing during scenes Move Adventurer in 5th Maven quest further away. Changes may not be seen unless installing update on a save before this quest was started. V1.7.1 Fixed missing dialogue condition on 2nd Maven quest. V1.7.0 Added 5 new TG CumDump Maven quests. See blog post if you wish to know finer details. Added "In My Time of Need" related dialogues. Added FMC horse dialogue to Windhelm stable master. Updated tag selection for creature 3p/4p. This should allow for proper filtering of FMC, FFC, etc animations. Player now unequips armor during most sex scenes along with everyone else. Added Goldenglow Estate FG troubleshoot option to MCM to try and fix the forcegreet if it stops working. Added additional conditions to TG FG to stop unintended actors from using those dialogues. Other minor grammar issues and bugfixes to quests and code. Submitter Narcolepsy Submitted 02/21/2020 Category Dialog Sex Requires SexLab - Sex Animation Framework, Fuz Ro D-oh, Dawnguard, Hearthfire, Dragonborn Special Edition Compatible Yes  

Have you ever wondered where does Mercer Frey go to spend all his money? Yes, escorts. But not simple escorts: he hires the most luxurious and expensive women to have fun with. He just cannot risk his health with the first whore or the first beggar he finds. He has the money so, why not? This time he had a lot of money, don't know where or when he got it, but I don't really want to know. I just know that he went to my 'Luxury House' and I had a few new escorts which arrived that morning. Usually I'd let him have the oldest whores because the quality of the flesh is equivalent to the quantity of money in the pockets, but this time he brought me a lot of money, so I let him have Yumiko, the most young and beautiful girl I had at that moment. It was her first time in a place like this, so she didn't have any experience, but Mercer doesn't mind as long as the girl has a pretty face and tight holes. I asked Mercer to wait for her and I went to talk with the new girl, after all, it was my duty as 'Madamme' to prepare these girls. Also, she couldn't decline the offer after hearing how much money she will earn. After I gave her orders to fully satisfy the client's needs and put a little perfume in her cleavage, I took her to Mercer. When they met I noticed a big bump in Mercer's pants and I couldn't resist but making a smile. I almost got that money in my hands, only had to wait a few hours more. When I finished introducing them to each other, Yumiko led him to the bedroom, taking his hand and moving her hips to make sure he had a pleasant view. I'm sure the only thing in the whole place that was heavier than his pocket were his balls. Yumiko was about to enter in the wolf's mouth. Mercer was the brute type, always was rough, yet Yumiko was so soft and sweet... I've seen these type of things almost every day, but this time I felt really bad for her. Her first time in this house and surely it was going to be the worst time of her life. All for money. I could hear her screams. Sometimes from the pleasure, sometimes not. Knowing Mercer, there was no mercy for her. . . . I barely remember when Mercer left the room and I entered... Yumiko was covered with cum and her ass was red for being spanked... but somehow... I can't remember her face. ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

NAME: Skeever Problem STATUS: Finished. RATING: NSFW. PLOT: A foreigner wakes up in the Honningbrew Meadery. She has been rescued by Sabjorn and she owes him her life.

(Not a youtube spoiler) Hello there. You probably don't know me. And infact, you may never get to. I want to say that I know you, but there are so many out there probably reading this, and those yet to come. See, my name is Fortuna. I am known as many things. Time, it seems, is a shifting river. I look at most people, especially the personages of great power, like Oddvar and Kintyra. Sinidar. They seem to swim with time's current with the ease that comes from being a 'normal' being. I only just met them, but I feel like we're old friends. I've seen their pasts. And their futures. At least, possible ones. As I sit here and meditate, I can look cleanly into the past of why they came here. Why? Maybe mighty Alkosh wants me to see. Sorry, you may know him as Akatosh or Auri-El. Names mean very little to gods. The day this all started... It was a day like any other in Riften. I believe, it was just last month. The last month of 419. A thief, running from the guards. She sticks out like a sore thumb. She's a rookie, bad at this. But she wasn't trying to prevent being noticed by the guards when she started. She was trying to escape her mother and father. She bumped into a man on the street. An annoyed look from her and a rogue smile and a wave from him, then she was caught by the guards. "Stop right there, criminal scum! Hand over your stolen goods and serve your sentence!" The guard shouted. Eyes full of despair, the girl reached for her purse to find... "But... where's my..." "Where's the gold?" The guard looked her over. The other one met eyes with the first guard, then looked her up and down, "You know how these vagrant types always have a hidden arsenal. Probably a secret hidden dimensional pocket she's hiding all that gold in." "Boys, boys," a voice called from the corner they'd just passed by. One of the Riften guards put his hand on his sword, "Don't need any of your type around here. Not looking for trouble." The other one whispered harshly, "Is that the guildmaster? Thought he was abroad or something." "Gentlemen, the rumors of my travel were exaggerated. As you can see, I'm right here, in the flesh," Brynjolf shrugged. "This doesn't concern you, sir. Not guild business. Jarl Black-Brier gave us explicit instructions." Brynjolf casually stepped over to her, "Well you'd better check again, lads. Look at these shoulderpads. This is a Shadowsign. It means, 'Protected." He winked at her as he walked back over to the guards, "Besides, she doesn't have any of those special bags. Look at her. She's the greenest newbie ever. Couldn't pilfer a pepper from a blind khajiit." The guards seemed to accept this, shrugged at each other and turned to walk away. One of them said to the other, "Might want to get your eyes checked before we start chasing a random citizen." Brynjolf waited for them to vacate, then his face melted from charming to slightly annoyed, "Pretty ballsy stunt you pulled back there, lass. And what's more, you're all thumbs." "What d'you know about it?" She grumbled. The huge sack of coins fell on the ground at her feet and she looked up at him. It was only about half full. He said, "Might know a thing or two about thievin, lass." Then one of the guard's daggers clanked at her feet. "Go on. Ye don't even got a decent weapon. This one's on me. If you want to learn more, figure out where the Guild Headquarters are. What's your name, lass?" He asked. "Kin... uh," she thought for a second. Giving away her real name would certainly draw attention to her. "Nice to meet ye, Kinna," he shook her hand, then he bowed, "I'm Brynjolf, guildmaster of the most illustrious and infamous band of robbers this side of the Velothi Mountains." Taken aback, charmed, elated, confused at his words, she didn't see him vanish into the shadows. But also, she noticed, "He STOLE my necklace!!!" Somewhere in the sewers, Brynjolf laughed. Kintyra wasn't out of this game though. She'd been put to sleep as a little kid by grandma's stories - Destana - and those stories included the hidden grate by the stables that put you right in the Ragged Flagon. As Brynjolf walked into the Flagon, cock of the walk, Kintyra was sitting at the bar, waiting for him. He blinked, "Girl. You have quite the pair, don't you?" "This one said she knew you. Called you out by name," Vekel the Man said, "You're getting careless in your old age." They laughed. Delvin kicked his feet onto the table, "Better I didn't spill this one's guts when she walked in. One dagger'd rip right through that paper-thin leather." Brynjolf, all smiles, commented, "Sorry, lass. That skimpy armor is reserved for superhumans who can take a punch. Our old one-time guildmaster, for example." "You mean gr~... I mean, Destana? The dragonborn?" Kintyra asked. "Quite the astute thief pupil, this bird is, ain't she?" Delvin chuckled, "I wager you got all our trading cards too, love." Partially true... she could name every one of them from her grandmother's stories. She shrugged, silently. The men laughed, and Vekel commented from behind the bar, "Little thing's blushing." A female voice, [finally, a voice of reason!] said from behind the divider, "Don't let these boys mess with you. They're all bark." "Tonnie!" Brynjolf said, pouring a pile of gold, jewels and equipment from his 'dimensional pack' onto the table, "I got quite the haul to fence today." "Beats me why the guildmaster still pickpockets so frequently, but who am I to question your methods?" Tonilia shrugged. "Gotta keep sharp. Always said I didn't want this job," Brynjolf shrugged. "Hey!" Kintyra snatched back her necklace from the loot. "Oi, lass," Delvin tossed a dagger into the table, sticking it next to the pile, "Finder's keepers." "S'alright," Brynjolf said. He looked at the girl, then snatched the necklace back right out of her hand, "This's precious to you? Relax lass, I'll give it back. Just wanted to have a look-see. Looks like an Imperial symbol. Old, of excellent make." He eyed her, judging her reaction. Clearly wanting to conceal something but still finding things from her past valuable and worth remembering. He handed it back, "Never seen the like. Custom." I hadn't even met the girl at this point, and I was only about 100 yards away. Some months before, her mother gave her that necklace. It was an heirloom. The last time Valiana Direnni visited Medora Direnni in Bravil before she left for Direnni Tower, she'd given her some of Calaxes' old things. This was just one of those Valiana'd immediately given to Runa (not having any sense of sentimentality herself). And Runa'd thought it would look good on her daughter, who was growing up so fast. Unnaturally fast. To all you out there who've been following along, we four, we youths, had only been doused with the Life Waters three years ago. For the rest of them, who had parents, it was quite the ride. You see, the life waters seem to extend life and capture youth. But infact, each dose brings the individual closer to the perfect, divine form instilled in us by our forebears - the Aedra. You could say the Elves were closest to the essence of the divine and they stayed in their adult form the longest. I'm getting off track. What I'm saying here is that the Life Waters and the Tear of Auriel brings us closer to our perfect form, if even for a period of time, but not lasting forever. And so, taken by children, yes, it will extend their lifespan, but it actually brings them to adulthood much, much faster. Three years have passed, we all grew as if 12 had. I've often wondered if we were robbed of our chance to develop and grow through exposure to our elders in that short span. I believe as they say, 'time will tell.' While I am the youngest, at 13 and a half, the others... Sinidar at 15, and the Half-Twins Kintyra and Oddvar at 14, we all share the same experience. We're merely a few years old each but our chronological age means nothing now. And in the case of Princess Runa, it seems she wasn't prepared for two teenagers. They discussed it at the Imperial Palace. "All I'm saying is, it's unnatural," Runa said. "You've seen your fair share of time distortion," Damien said. "Can't the college do anything about it? I mean, Sinidar must be driving you crazy. "Look," Jura folded his arms, "What's done is done. We have no idea what reversing it would do." "Could cause more damage than help..." Destana said sleepishly. Runa shot her an angry glance, as if wanting to say, 'You've done enough here.' But her shaking, unyielding rage... yielded. "I'm sorry, mom. I'm scared," Runa said, tears in her eyes. "I know, honey," Destana replied. "Our kids are the only ones who've been doused with Life Waters. We're going to extend the warnings to cover this," Damien scratched his chin, "But then... if people knew this would happen..." Jura and Calleius looked at each other. Tyroni said, "I can imagine an unhinged warlord in an orphanage trying to form an army quickly could do some crimes against humanity really quickly." "For now," Damien sighed, "Keep an eye on them. Monitor their growth. It seems like the worst of the 'growth spurt' is over. They may continue to develop naturally from here on out." "Gods, let's hope, or they're going to be older than us soon!" Rigmor said from the corner, Runa finally cracking a smile. Oddvar sighed, looking at his sister. Kintyra looked back, "Why're you staring at me, Oddvar?" "No reason," he said stoically. That was mainly how they talked - she thought she understood him, but he never let anyone truly know him. It was hard growing like this in the blink of an eye. He didn't entirely disagree with the thoughts she shared with him. Their parents didn't get them - nobody did. But she was chosen of two lines of Cyrodillic Emperors, and he was, well, not. So while they could just view her as a larger than life figure like Tiber Septim, doing a couple miracles before breakfast every day, most people looked at him and saw a silent freak. Not that he couldn't talk, he just didn't want to. People never shut up. Oddvar could listen to the silence. And Oddvar was only descended from one legendary figure, not two. Also, odd to boot. "I think we should do it," he said after the vast gulf of silence since Kintyra's last meaningful statement. "Do... what?" She asked. "You said we should hop a boat. Let's do it," Oddvar said. Kintyra raised an eyebrow, "You're... serious?" She smiled, but his face was like a statue, cold and strong as ever. Her smile melted, and his stern magnanimity won out, as it often did. "Where would we go?" She asked finally. "Grandma went from a simple boatwoman to a queen in Skyrim. Let's start there. Which stories were your favorite?" Oddvar asked. Kintyra instantly said, "Thieves' Guild. Gotta be the Thieves Guild." "I figured." "You?" She asked. "Not sure. I think I'm more of an explorer than anything. I want to go where none of them has been," Oddvar pointed to the next room, where their parents were meeting. "Think we should tell Sini?" Kintyra asked. "No," Oddvar said flatly, "He'd just rat us out to his dad." Kintyra tilted her head, long blond hair falling over her face before she swept it out of the way, "I think he'd want to come." "Bah, he's been to Riften. Skyrim is old hat for him. He'd tell us we're fools, which, we probably are," Oddvar replied. "No, I don't think you're fools," a voice crept out of the shadows. Oddvar slapped his forehead audibly, "Gods." "Yeah, I was listening," Sinidar smirked. "But you'll need to be smart about it. Wait until they've all gone home and aren't really keeping an eye out for you," Sini said. Kintyra nodded, "We leave the city at night, go book travel on one of the cargo boats. Might need to pass through Anvil, but we can get to Riften." It took four months for things to line up. The kids kept growing, hitting their main teenage growth spurt to nearly their adult height. And they seemed to develop mentally too. Runa could remember just a couple years ago she was breastfeeding, and now Oddvar was learning to cook from the palace chef (he enjoyed cooking). Runa'd gotten the cabin fever. Now that her kids were a bit more self sufficient, she went out adventuring in Cyrodiil again. They waited for Princess Rigmor to be visiting her mother in Bruma, Princess Runa to be on a cave crawl, and General Calleius to be on a campaign tour. They hopped on a boat with a young captain, paid a mint in Septims, and were off. He looked reputable. Not like some of the rough men around - looked like pirates. They were able to get to Riften in only about two days, Kintyra getting in with the Thieves' Guild the next day. Only a couple minor hiccups - a young warlock attacked a one of the guards at the gate when Kintyra'd just walked in but Oddvar was still outside. They had to talk over the wall for an hour before the lockdown ended. But finally, he was allowed inside. Maul gave them the standard 'I'm watching you,' speech like he does with everybody. "It feels pretty freeing to be traveling with only the clothes on your back and what's in your pack," Kintyra said. "I think I'm going to buy some cheap iron armor," Oddvar said flatly. "With what money?" She smiled. "At the very least, lodgings," he said back. The Bee and Barb was easy to find. They sat down and sampled the extremely cheap water, it being late afternoon now. "I thought when Sinidar gave us this plan, he was also saying he would join us, for atleast one meeting at the Bee and Barb," Oddvar commented. "Be patient. He said he'd show, but it would take a couple days to get here," Kintyra replied. She looked at her coinpurse. It felt like a lot in her hands, but Brynjolf hadn't actually left her a lot. She'd taken his advice and upgraded their equipment, but now they barely had enough for a night at the Inn. But it was pouring outside. They had to stay somewhere. And the Thieves' Guild wasn't an option for her yet, or Oddvar probably ever. As she sat down to a table, a missive appeared in her hand. She rolled it out. "Where are you?" It read. Taking out a quill she started to scribble, but Oddvar slapped his hand on the table. "What are you doing?" She asked. He unrolled it the rest of the way, "This doesn't have a name on it." "I assumed it was Sinidar," Kintyra replied. "You know what they say about making yourself an ass," Oddvar replied stoically, "Bet it's mom." "Damn, you're probably right," Kintyra said. "You know you'd never make it out here without me," Oddvar said, face still like a statue. As far as she knew, he wasn't afraid of anything. But then, they'd heard the stories from grandma and greatgrandpap about what was out there. Giants, dragons, goblins, bandits, and all manner of things not even they had seen before. The dimensional walls were as thin as ever. Anyway, they scraped together their coin and had a meager meal, then scooted off to bed. In the morning, it was still raining. "Want to go do some oddjobs, Oddvar?" Kintyra asked. "We could find a bandit camp or something. I'm sure the Jarl needs something done. Damn, I'm hungry," Oddvar replied. They picked themselves up and walked into the South Riften Extension. And as luck would have it - the guards were tusseling with some goblins and a couple bandits. Oddvar rushed in with Battleaxe swinging. Kintyra was left behind with a few of the littler guys and a couple guards. They were taken care of soundly. When they were done, Kintyra caught up with Oddvar, who'd fought off a few of the buggers and taken a few scrapes. She looked down, "Oh." "What - oh wow they actually managed to kill one of the guards. Think his friends are gonna come back for him when they finish chasing the bigger gobbos down?" Oddvar asked. Kintyra looked up, looked at Oddvar, then back at the body, then started to rifle through his pockets, saying nothing. "What are you-" He started. "Shhh!" Kin shushed. She slipped his armor off him. "What... what are you doing? We're going to get thrown in jail!" Oddvar was yelling in whispers. "Waste not want not," Kintyra replied. "You can't do that though!" Oddvar said back. She tossed the armor to him, "Here. Now you're an accomplice." Oddvar sighed, "Fine." They ran into the nearby Workhouse, her wiping the blood off herself, "Aren't you gonna put it on?" "Maybe not yet," he said, "But check this out. I found it on one of the bandits." He slipped an iron horned helmet onto his head to match the iron armor he'd already slipped on. "Gods you are such a nerd," Kin said, "You wanna be the next dragonborn?" "Dovahkiin Dovahkiiiiin~" He sang, "Well, maybe I could learn to shout. Mom can." They laughed. It was starting to rain again and they decided they'd head back to the safety inside the city walls for lunch with their spoils. The sounds of rain intensified as the door swung open. A young, petite and attractive young thing stepped through the door under a cloak. Most likely... what am I saying, I know what happened. Most definitely nobody present knew what she was. A khajiit? I look somewhat human or elven... but with khajiit features. And this, dear reader, is where I enter the tale. I walked over to them, my cloak dripping. They couldn't keep their eyes from staring - they'd never seen my like. And I sat across from them. "Can we... help you?" Kintyra said, politely. At least being an Imperial Princess had taught her some things. "I think it is I who can help you," I replied. "Who are you, strange one?" Oddvar asked, bluntly. He had no compunctions against saying what he thought of me. "Do we know you?" Kintyra asked, leaning over the table. "I am called Fortuna," I said, "We share a common experience." Kintyra tilted her head, "What.. do you mean?" Oddvar unaggressively put his hand on the axe at his side, "We don't want any trouble, Fortuna. But I suggest you leave us alone." "No fighting please," Keerava said from behind the bar. "I think you're going to want to hear what I have to say," I said. "Well, go ahead then," Oddvar said. "I know your mother and uncle are in Whiterun right now. I know they're walking through each city to try and find you," I replied. Kintyra blinked, "So, Fortuna... however you learned this, do you know how long we have until they get to Riften?" "It was the farthest, so, probably about a week. I dunno. Soothsaying is not an exact science. Except when it is," I replied. Oddvar's brow furrowed, "You're joking. How do you know so much about us? What do you want from us, anyway?" "I told you, we share a common bond. I have a set of skills that could benefit you greatly. And I have a vested interest in you continuing on the next leg of your journey," I said. "So, how are you going to help us?" Oddvar pressed his lips together, "At no benefit to yourself, I take it?" "Well," I said, "I see that we take a journey beyond this, but we are four." "Four?" "You know - the other one - with the red hair," I replied. I'd never met the boy, fuzzy on the details. "Do you mean Darryl?" Oddvar asked. I raised an eyebrow, "I'm almost certain it started with an 'S'." Kintyra shook her head, "Sinidar." "I was just testing you," Oddvar folded his arms as the wench laid down their cheap soups, "I don't actually know or trust you. Or your intuition, yet." We sat in silence and ate for a few minutes. We looked up, Keerava standing at our table, "I haven't seen you kids around." "Well, uh.." Oddvar started. But then Fortuna said, "These are my friends from Cyrodiil, Keerava. Penpals. Their parents are merchants from Anvil visiting on business." Keerava smiled, "Oh, well I'm glad you're making friends, dear. It can be hard for orphans. But better now that that old witch Grelka is gone." She stacked up the bowls, just an excuse to talk with the kids, then returned behind the bar. Fortuna smirked and whispered to Oddvar, "You should really work on your cover story." Oddvar rolled his eyes, "Still don't trust you." Kintyra smiled, "If you can put Oddvar in his place like that, I think I, for one, would welcome you as a traveling companion." The girls laughed. When they were done, Fortuna and Kintyra walked down to the Ragged Flagon, Oddvar saying he was going to check the Notice Board for any easy jobs to get their feet wet. "So you're welcome down here?" Kintyra asked. "Of course. Orphans and beggars are the eyes and ears of the guild. And, I hear, the Dark Brotherhood near their sanctuaries." Kintyra's lip curled in thought at that. She hadn't thought that maybe her mother's spies might be closing in on the group. "Ah, lass," Brynjolf turned, "Color me impressed. Wasn't certain if I'd ever see you again." "I can take any job you've got," Kintyra said, like a mouse playing the part of a wolf. "Reliable and headstrong. You're looking to be quite the prize," Brynjolf smirked, then nodded to me, "Fortuna." "Sir," I bowed slightly. "Think you're gonna join the guild soon too? Could always use a thief of your caliber." "Perhaps, sir," I replied, then pointed at Kintyra, "I do believe I am destined to help this one." "So be it," Brynjolf said, "How'd you like to handle a deadbeat for me?" "What'd they do?" Kintyra asked. "Just taking out loans and not paying," Bryn replied, "Ever heard of Haelga's Bunkhouse? I want you to explain to her the error of her ways." "Any guidelines on how to handle it?" Kintyra asked. "Honestly, the debt is secondary here. What's more important is that you get the message across that we aren't to be ignored. Word of warning: I don't want her killed. Bad for business. We're not the brotherhood." I nodded, "I'll show her the way. We'll get it done." "Excellent," Brynjolf said. As we walked around the docks, looking at all the many different rogues and cutthroats, an Altmer called out to Kintyra. As we stepped up, she said, "I suppose I can work with your face. After all, the sculptor cannot always choose the finest clay." Kintyra blinked, looked at me and said, "I think that woman just called me ugly." I giggled. "No, no, I apologize. My name's Galathil. I am a face sculptor. As such, I'm excellent at reading people," she said, "You don't seem to be a transient or orphan. You have excellent bone structure. Perhaps nobility or royalty." Kintyra blinked and looked at me, flustered. "You're only confirming it," I sighed. "Don't worry," Galathil continued, "Your secret's safe with me. Of course, someone of your stature is probably running from something. If I were to wager a guess - courtly intrigue of some kind meant you needed to hide out here. Perhaps a count's daughter or something, got assassinated, and you're the only heir that's going to come back someday and take revenge? No? Doesn't matter the details. But, I could be of service to one who wanted never to be found." Kintyra blinked again, "I uh... I don't think I'm willing to part with my looks." "Suit yourself," Galathil replied, "Perhaps a simple haircut?" Kintyra pursed her lips, "Now, I will think about that." We walked out of the Flagon and back into the city for now. "So where's Haelga's Bunkhouse?" She asked. I pointed it out and we walked inside. We milled about, finding the woman behind the counter but playing it cool for now. She bellowed orders to her niece like she was an invalid and the girl took it, because she'd been orphaned by some cruel happenstance. I could tell Kin was starting to get angry and I put my hand on her shoulder, "You know, there's a lot of injustice in this world. I see it every day. You should keep your cool." The girl smirked, "Since when has telling someone to stay calm actually worked?" She walked over to Svana and casually said, "That woman is just the worst. Are you related to her?" With a pained look in her eyes, she nodded, quietly explaining that her parents had died. "You know what? I'd help you if you wanted me to take her down a notch," Kintyra said. "Hmm," the woman twirled her hair, "I think I have an idea. The way the woman sleeps with every man in town is shameful. She gives them Marks of Dibella. If you could collect three, then you could embarrass her. That'd show her." Kintyra shrugged slowly, "Sure." Sleeping with a lot of men? I don't have access to a person's deep past, but I do know Destana is widely known as a womanizer-man-izer(?) and I bet that'd pass onto her descendants. As I was thinking on this, Kintyra walked over to the counter. "Hey," she said kurtly. "Uhh... hey. Do you need something, little girl?" Haelga asked, "Maybe a sweetroll?" Her brow furrowed, "Brynjolf says you'd better pay up." "Ha!" Haelga chuckled, "So he sends a little baby whore like you to shake me down? I thought the guild was doing really well! Obviously I was wrong!" On instinct, Kintyra reached over the counter and slapped Haelga across the face. She turned her head, popped her neck. "I'm going to enjoy this," Haelga said. She leapt over the bar and put her hands up, as did Kintyra. About this time, Oddvar stepped into the bunkhouse, axe draped over his shoulder. He'd been following our trail (since we'd been gone for a while). I immediately slipped from the shadows and grabbed the back of his collar to stop him from reacting, "Let her handle this." Right off the bat, Haelga threw a quick, feinting jab, then clocked Kintyra in the face. But the girl wasn't out yet. She weaved and struck the lady with three body blows. "Oof!" Haelga said, "You thought I was just a pretty face, eh?" She threw her weight into a haymaker, but Kintyra dodged, throwing the woman off balance. Kin kicked her in the shin and clobbered her in the back of the head. Haelga was tough and quick enough that she recovered. They got back into their neutral fighting poses, staring each other down. But this time, as they both went for a blow to their opponent's face with their right hand, Haelga's connected first (longer arms), throwing the girl's neck back with the impact. She crashed to the ground on her face as her body caught up with her neck. "Not done!" Kintyra got up and pummeled Haelga with body blows until the woman reared back and snap kicked Kintyra in the chin, sending her on her back. As the woman started to walk away, Kintyra's dizzyness faded quickly. She stood, gritting her teeth, and clobbered Haelga in the back of the head, knocking her out like a light. She stood, triumphantly over the woman, "That'll show ya... don't mess with... the Thieves..." As she wobbled, Oddvar caught her. "C'mon," he said, throwing her over his shoulder. We walked back to the Flagon, Oddvar demanding I show him the way. He laid Kintyra on a bench next to Brynjolf. "Geez, lad, what the hell happened to her?" He asked. "Haelga picked a fight with her when she asked her to pay," Oddvar replied, scowling. "Did I win?" Kintyra asked, in and out of consciousness. Oddvar cracked a small smile, "Yeah, you did. Haelga's on the floor. Did it all by herself." I hoisted a sack of coins, "I collected." Brynjolf nodded, "Good work. I'd say we have room in our organization for you too, but..." Oddvar scowled harder, "I don't think she's ready for this." "Fair enough, lad." "Wait a blessed moment," Delvin said, "I know what you're thinkin'. But this is risky work. Most my days I come out clean. But on the bad days you need to know how to throw hands. But livin in a city, collecting cash from rubes - beats going out and fighting bandits. And you three seem like you're not the type to settle down and go into farming. You'll be back when you realize what we're offering ya." "We'll see about that," Oddvar growled, then he held up a scrap of paper, "We're going to Treva's Watch. We're going to clear it of bandits. We're going to be rich." All ears were on them at this point, and most of them laughed. "Treva's Watch? You're serious?" Vekel the Man chimed in from behind the bar, "What do you want your tombstone to say?" I stayed silent. "You'll see! We're going to take care of those guys and protect the hold from people like you," Oddvar said. Tonilia chuckled, "Notice Brynjolf specifically told your friend not to kill anybody. Bandits are nothing like the guild." She stepped closer, "It doesn't matter that you're children. They will not hesitate to kill you. I'm saying this because I'd rather a few headstrong idiots not get themselves killed doing something hopeless." Oddvar sneered, "Whatever. We don't need your charity." The three of us left to the Bee and Barb again. I healed Kintyra, but it took a couple hours for her to recover from the dizziness. A slow drizzle turned into a full-blown storm. "Where'd you learn to heal?" She asked me, sipping a strong coffee. "From Dinya Balu at the church," I replied, "I can teach you a few spells." I could feel my body twitch. "What is it?" Kintyra asked. "Your mother is going to walk into this bar in a matter of minutes. She's wearing a green raincloak, walking down the docks right now. Beside her is your Uncle, Damien." Kintyra slapped the tabletop, "What??" "Follow me," I stood and ran up the stairs. They followed. I pulled open the door to the room with a window - the one Maven used to use for... no, no time for postcognitions. "Well hello there," a voice spoke from the bed. I blinked, "Wha..." "Sinidar?" Kintyra asked. I stammered, looking at the red-haired youth. Oddvar commented, "I think you broke our stalker." "Interesting," Sinidar said, "What's wrong?" I replied, "I did not see you coming. That's kind of a big deal for me." "Anyway, I bought you some time," Sinidar said, locking the door. "What's going on?" Kintyra asked, "I just wanted to go out on my own for a while. Now this girl's saying we're destined to go... somewhere... do something." "Destined?" Sini asked, "Not sure about that. My dad brought me along for the ride, and I feigned disinterest, going to the Inn to have a little snack. Using my brain I figured you'd be here. Of course, they're going to figure it out in a minute too." "So what's the plan?" Oddvar asked, "You gonna teleport us... or something?" Sinidar blinked, "Teleport? Who do you think I am? I can barely cast Flames and Healing. Maybe a couple others. No, I figured you guys would just go out the window, jump into the canal, then get away on a ship?" "We can slip into the Ragged Flagon until we can find a ship," Kintyra said. Then she turned to the other two, "You coming with?" "Of course," I said. "Why not," Sinidar replied, "I was bored anyway." Oddvar insisted on going first, opening the window. It was a torrential downpour at this point. Good. No visibility at all. Odd jumped to the next roof, and we all followed. I knew I'd make it, Sinidar was in high spirits, Oddvar was stoic as always, but Kintyra seemed genuinely afraid. Whether of being caught or going splat on the stone below, I wasn't sure. Either way, I grabbed her hand and squeezed. I met eyes with her, "We're going to make it. We'll be fine." She smiled back at me and we made our last hop - into the canal and slipped, drenched, into the sewer tunnels. The two highwayman who used to frequent these parts had already moved up to bigger and better things now, and we were free to plan our next move. We sat there, dripping wet and cold for a few minutes, and Kin started to shake. We all huddled together for warmth, until she finally broke the silence, "Why are we even doing this?" Oddvar looked at her puzzled, nothing to say. Sinidar shrugged, "I honestly have no reason. I'm just tagging along for fun." Finally I looked at her and said, "Akatosh speaks to me. He told me we would make this journey." "To.... where?" Oddvar asked. "Looks like there aren't any boats leaving anytime soon," Sinidar peered out over the docks, "Get your cloaks. We can travel overland. Lots of towns between here and the next major city. We can fade away." "Wait," Kintyra said, "There's one more thing I think I want to do before we go." She walked over to Galathil, "Hey, mind giving me that haircut?" "No problem. Really, I mean, face changing is hard. This is easy." "Do you do color changes?" Kin asked. "Like, all of your skin color? Because I can do that." "Just the hair please." "What color?" Galathil asked. "I'm thinking... a Lavender." Oddvar raised an eyebrow, "Won't that make you stand out more?" "Not anymore than the bright red guy here," Kintyra said. Sinidar just smirked, not responding otherwise. After a few minutes, she asked, "How do I look?" I pulled out a hat and put it on her head, "Perfect." Oddvar grimaced. He finally said, "What if..." "I know what you're going to say, Odd," Kin said. Oddvar shook his head slowly, "I should go tell mom. We should definitely go home." "You're probably right," Kintyra sighed. Odd looked at the entrance, then looked at her, "But you'd be gone before I got back, wouldn't you?" Kintyra's lip curled into a half-smile, "Probably." She paused for a minute, then stood up too, "This might sound crazy. I don't know if I'm trembling from fear or excitement, but I think I need to go. I feel the call to adventure and I need to answer." Oddvar folded his arms, "Godsdammit. I guess I'm in too." "In what, though?" Sinidar threw up his arms, smiling just a little, "Are we making a pact?" Brynjolf, who'd been watching us, folded his arms, "You kids take care of yourselves. Take my advice and if you get in over your heads, run away. Live to fight another day." Kintyra, still smirking said, "I think I'm going to have to take a rain-check on that invitation to the thieves guild. Need to get out of Riften." "Seems like whoever you were running from found you, huh?" He asked. Kintyra nodded. "Take a set of guild armor from Ton. You might need it," he said. Tonilia already had a set ready and tossed one to Kin, one to me. She swapped gloves and boots, but the rest (and my whole suit) went into our packs. I'm petite. It'll be a while before that stuff fits me. Oddvar took the opportunity, now that we were leaving Riften, to put on the guard armor. With that we slipped out the canal under cover of rain and darkness and slipped out the gate. We traveled that evening and all night through wilderness (staying off the roads). By morning, the rain had stopped. I started teaching Kintyra a little bit about magic (and Sinidar too!) and she really took a liking to Bound Weapons. Really saves on arrows. When we stumbled upon a cougar cave and the animal immediately became hostile at our presence, Kintyra reacted quickly with a bound bowshot, and Sinidar with a fireball. He couldn't cast fireball, mind you, he had a staff from his father's extensive collection. Another night and we were near Iverstead. "Why'd you lead us here, Odd?" Kintyra asked, but I already knew. "There's a massive bandit camp here," Sinidar cut in, then he turned to Oddvar, "I saw the quest sheet. Do you seriously think we can take these guys?" Uncharacteristically, Oddvar said, "Well, it's going to be a struggle. And this is going to be a stealth mission." Sinidar said, "You guys were training to be professional thieves, right? I guess here's your chance to prove yourselves." And two bonus pictures because I don't think Kin and Fortuna got enough pictures of their faces:

Hey, it's Destana. I'm headed to Riften to find Malburn. It's First Seed, 4E 210. Been a while since I pulled off the Emperor's Assassination, and still no waves in Skyrim, though I imagine the ship made it's trip back by now carrying the body. Too bad I'm currently infertile as a vampire, because there could be a whole 'lost hidden heir' of the Emperor ala Oblivion Crisis. But I don't want to go through pregnancy again. I think I'm done having kids, even if I do get 'cured.' Currently hunting for Elder Scrolls and we have two of the three. The Dragon Scroll eludes me, but I figure it will have something to do with me fighting Alduin. I remembered I can just summon Serana and I don't need to go get her, but I figured I'd summon her straight to Riften so she didn't have to make the walk. I decided I would hit up the Bee and Barb and have a drink, though it got me thinking about Sanguine and the first time we met. I sometimes wonder what he's doing. I'm sure I could probably visit... but I think I was feeling stubborn. I summoned Serana. "Oh! I'm here now I guess!" She said, surprised, "Do your other friends ever complain about this?" "Yep. But I do pay them pretty well," I said, then I turned, "Speaking of!" Inigo had just walked into the tavern. I looked at the waning daylight and noticed it was evening. "My friend! You've actually come to me for once!" He slapped me on the back. Most people would've been giving me shit, but Inigo was generally happy to see me. Always the purest companion. "I know we've fought together a couple times, but I don't think we've ever actually been introduced. Our friend here likes to pull us out of thin air on a whim, much to my chagrin, at least. I'm Serana," she extended her hand. "Uh.. hey. So this is where vampire types relax?" He asked awkwardly. She chuckled, "Most people can't see the obvious signs of vampirism. Either they're not magically perceptive, or their eyes are blinded to the truth." "So THAT's why!!" I said loudly, "I guess it's because I'm a bit of a mage that I can tell. Or A dragonborn. Not THE dragonborn." "I would recognize your smell anywhere. And... you smell hungry," Inigo smiled sheepishly. "Interesting. I've never really been sniffed... before. I am a vampire. But not the blood-thirsty monstrous fiend you're thinking of. I don't have any interest in sucking your blood, and I doubt I will," she explained, "I eat bad people. And I don't think you're one." "Whew. I am pleased to meet you. My name is Inigo, as you may already know," he replied I'd already taken a seat at a table and invited them to join. Inigo ordered food and we sat down for a while for dinner. Serana drank a blood potion and I only drank Ale. At this point all the rampaging as a Vampire Lord had kept me pretty sated and I hadn't actually had to use my fangs in quite a while. "How does it feel? Being a vampire I mean," Inigo asked us, taking a drink. "Pretty great, actually," Serana answered. "How so?" "It just does. It's hard to explain. Perhaps it's the power. But... nevermind," she trailed off. "What is it?" Inigo asked expectantly. "Something just came to mind that I don't want to talk about." "I understand," Inigo said, taking another bite of chicken. "Hey, you milk drinkers have room for one more?" A figure asked. I looked up, and it was Sofia. "Sure," I said, "What brings you to Riften?" "What brings YOU to Riften?" She asked back, "I've been living with Inigo for a couple months." "Oh really?" I looked at him, "Where?" Inigo shifted his eyes uncomfortably, "Honeyside." First, I knitted my brow. Then I got a big smile, "Yeah, you can use it. I've been treating you guys like summoned creatures a little bit. You deserve some fringe benefits. I don't even go to my BIG house anymore. It helps not needing to sleep very much." I took a long drink of Ale, "So are you guys an item or something?" "Yes," Inigo said. "Really? Amazing!" I shouted. "Yeah," Sofia said, "I guess all that time we spent together during your campaign in the Civil War really brought us closer together. Though it took this one long enough to realize I was coming on to him. Like six years." Inigo coughed on his bite. Sofia turned to Serana, "I haven't introduced myself to you, have I? Destana keeps calling us mid-quest or mid-battle and we never get a chance to interact. I'm Sofia, but you probably already knew that. I'm quite well-known in Skyrim, but sometimes I'm not sure it's for the right reasons." "Hi," Serana said, but Sofia continued her introduction. "I see myself as an adventurer, though it's no fun without someone to witness my heroic deeds such as... well I'm sure there's probably something. I do like to get drunk, kill things and be a nuisance. What about you?" Sofia finished. "Bit of a chatterbox once you get started, aren't you? And yes, I've heard ... stories. About you. Not a lot of good ones, I would say. You sure do have a way with how you rub some people," Serana started. I smiled a greedy smile. Truth be told, I didn't like Sofia very much. She annoyed me. Bit of an airhead, and you know how much I value being a woman who actually knows what she's doing. But I'd never seen Serana be scathing like this. "Anyway, my name is Serana. Besides being a mage, like our friend here, I'm an adventurer too. It's a pleasure to meet a fellow Nord. I am one myself, but I haven't spent most of my life in Skyrim." "Well, it must be your lucky day. I know Skyrim like the back of my hand," Sofia smiled, taking it all in stride. Or, not noticing the thinly veiled insult. Serana continued, "Killing the things that threaten us would be good. Getting drunk and being a nuisance, well ... maybe. Let's just say there's a time and place for everything." I stifled a laugh, and Serana elbowed me. "So, my friend, you have finally attained full dragonborn status?" Inigo asked, "Being shouted at by old men has never been so rewarding!" I laughed out loud, looking at Serana, "See, this is why I bring this guy. To be honest, I'm only going to do it to a certain point right now. Then, well... maybe you'll see. So, I know these two are from here but why did you come to Skyrim, Inigo?" "Well, that's a long story. I guess, I was an orphan, saved by a soldier. My brother and I were adopted by a pair of assassins. I guess the orphanage doesn't do a background check," he chuckled. "Where were you born?" "Elswyer." "Well, duh. I guess I don't know much about Elswyer. I have been thinking that would be the first place I visit if things get too hot up here. Metaphorically, with the Emperor's death and all." "It is a beautiful place," he replied. "Maker, haven't you heard?" Someone asked. I turned around to find the Innkeeper, Keerava. "Heard what?" I asked. "The Emperor died in Skyrim almost two months ago. The Imperials were clamoring for war. When it came time for the Elder Council to make a decision about it, they kept splitting votes. Finally, somebody got mad about it," Keerava said, "There's a bandit leader, Ariel Sethius. He had a lot of bandit groups working for him, maybe even some here in Skyrim. They started calling him the bandit king a couple years ago, operating out of the lands around Bruma. He saw an opportunity. In the confusion of not having a functioning government, he has laid siege to the Imperial City. Some say the Thalmor are involved in disrupting Imperial supply lines. So they're losing, badly." "Holy shit, are you saying Cyrodiil might fall?" I asked. "I'm not sure what the assassins expected," the bard in the revealing blue dress said, "If the Thalmor are making this happen, I bet they're going to ally with the new Bandit King if they take Cyrodiil and then, Skyrim's next. And we'll have the Aldmeri Empire ruling all of Tamriel." I paused there for a minute. What have I done? I could feel a cold sweat forming on me. Gods, I need to do something about this. I should go to Cyrodiil and personally deal with this problem. But what about the dragons, and the vampires?! Velvet Acid Talos, how does Tamriel have so many problems right now? No, I paused, I need to deal with the dragons first. Skyrim is in no shape to defend against that kind of attack with dragons beating at their backs. "Well, what brought YOU to Skyrim in the first place?" Serana asked, snapping me back to our conversation. I answered, "Chaos back home. Looking for a way to make a living. Oh, and I was stranded here with no money and no way to get back." "Ever think of going back? You know, sail the high seas?" Serana asked. "I was a sailor. And I wouldn't mind going on some nautical adventures with you. Eventually I think I'll go back to Hammerfell. For a visit, at least," I sighed. We continued that conversation til the early morning, and when I walked outside (sun be damned)... another dragon was attacking. I looked down at the purple dress I was still wearing. "Well, there's already a couple of blood stains, I guess," I sighed. The crew jumped in and with the guards we took it down. I wasn't feeling much like a DKO this time, so I fully absorbed the dragon soul and prevented it. I was ready for a little sleep and a real drink, maybe. I meant blood, not ale. And I promised the guys we'd go on a proper adventure soon. "I'll see you," Sofia said, "As much as I know none of you like me, except Inigo, but he's good to everyone. I think I'm valuable." I frowned, "Just because you annoy me doesn't mean I don't appreciate your company. We all need people that keep us on our toes. And I usually can't anticipate what you're going to do next. And Inigo, he's the glue. What say we go out dungeon crawling tomorrow? I feel like one might be coming up soon in this Blades-Dragonborn business I'm stuck in." "Of course," Inigo said, "The Stormblade Company shall ride again!" I slept until that afternoon, then I decided I would leave Serana in the Inn and go to the sewers alone due to it being a tight squeeze. I got back in my armor, of course. I decided I would pass through the guild. It was lively, full of people today. As soon as I walked up to the bar, I heard a shout, "What are you doing, friend?" And a blade being drawn. Then another. When I caught sight of him, he was dead, and Dirge was laughing. He picked up a note from the man's corpse after ransacking the pockets, "Figures. The Thalmor sent this guy here for you. I figured he was a little fishy." Vekel added, "Maybe they thought we wouldn't notice because we've added so many recruits down here." "Don't say I never did anything for you," Dirge smirked. "Oi! Did I miss all the fun?" Delvin walked in, "How you doin, boss?" "Yep, sorry," Vex laughed, sitting at the bar, not having even having moved from her spot. "How's everybody doing?" I asked, but I didn't pause for them to respond, "The Thalmor are looking for a guy hiding in the Ratway. So keep your eyes out. I'm more inclined to get there first." "Yeah, I spotted a couple," Vekel said. "Ok, I'm off," I said. "Wait!" Vex said, "We were waiting for them to die to the traps in the Ratway before we looted their bodies. And while we wait, I've got a request." "Request?" "Yeah. You were the guild's cumdump right?" Vex asked. "I don't really have time right now," I responded. "I know, you're important. We won't take up much of your time. I just wanted to watch you get pounded," Vex smiled devilishly, "Let our traps do their work. Your target will be fine." "Well, okay...I guess," I said, and men surrounded me and picked me up, carrying me off to the Cistern, Vex following. "This is motivated by love, hon," Vex said, "We're all some of the richest people in Skyrim now. Even the castoff scraps you fence here from time to time are worth a king's ransom. We know you like a good fucking, so we're giving it to you." They set me down, and lovingly started to strip themselves and me. Etienne was sitting on one of the beds across the cistern, wide-eyed. He was probably thinking he didn't know what he signed up for. Sapphire walked in, but it seemed like she only wanted to watch. Delvin, Niruin, Cynric, Rune, Thrynn and Vipir were all gathered around me now. Brynjolf slowly walked in, in his Nightingale armor. He stripped down, and the guys got in line. It seemed this time it was going to be one at a time instead of in groups like last time. "Hey boss," he said as he stepped behind me. I bent over, accepting him, and said in between thrusts, "You know, I was coming here to kill the Thalmor, but I guess this is a nice way to take my mind off things." He got faster and I said, "I've been meaning to talk to you about turning over guild...master." "We can talk about it after this, lass," he grunted, finishing in me, "Or are you skilled enough to talk about this while being fucked?" I nodded. Next, Delvin. "Sure you're okay doing this, right in front of your fiancee?" I asked him, looking at Vex. Vex shrugged, "I don't mind." He used the piledriver method. When he was done, Delvin said, "Who do you nominate to take guild master next?" Next was Cynric, who lifted me off the ground and I took the hint, wrapping my legs around him. "I think it should be Brynjolf. Even if he doesn't want it," I said. Then Cynric finished. "Maybe it should be Delvin or Vex, lass," Brynjolf said. Niruin motioned for me to get on my knees, and I did. "Alright. Maybe we should take a vo~" I started, but Niruin stuffed his dick in my mouth, and started to fuck it. "I second the call to vo~*cough* *gag*" Delvin chuckled, "I vote for Vex." Vex said, "Am I allowed to vote for myself?" As soon as the dick pulled out of my throat I said, "I don't care." "Ok. I vote for Delvin," Vex said, mixing it up. "I vote for Brynjolf," I said. Rune gently pushed me to the ground and entered me, prone. "You guys are being really aggressive today," I said. "Vex said that's how you like it!" Rune said, pounding. Brynjolf said, "I vote for Delvin." Tonilia shouted from the edge of the area, "You guys almost let me miss the show. I vote for Vex." "Hmm... who else... gets a vote... these days?" I asked. "We had a few council meetings between your visits," Delvin said. "Did you..." I started, and Rune came on my back. Then Thrynn bent me over backwards. Before he could get in my mouth, I said, "Did you decide to do this in a meeting?" Then he entered and it was all gags. "Yes, actually," Vex said, "You know, this might seem mean-spirited, but I remember you volunteered for this job." "Karliah isn't here," Brynjolf said, "Who's that leave?" Thrynn came in my mouth, and I came up for air. "I vote for Brynjolf," Vekel the man said. He'd been watching from the doorway. "That leaves me!" Vipir the Fleet said, and he meant both that it was his turn to fuck me and his turn to vote. He entered and finished in what seemed like no time. Then he said, "It's nice being the tie-breaker. Brynjolf." I smiled awkwardly, "Alright. I'm going to go check those traps now." "Yeah, he pays us to bring him food now and then, and to leave him be. Strange old coot," Vekel said. "Oh, by the way," Vex said, "The whole council gets a cut, so this doesn't change much about your position here." "Well, thanks for the thorough fucking, I guess. Probably not the best time, but I'll live with it." "Oh, so I guess Brynjolf is the new guild leader!" Delvin shouted, "See you later, Destana." I rinsed off and threw my armor back on, moving to the warrens. There were three dead Thalmor, and another one messing with a tripwire. He finally got it loose and dodged the trap of two spiked balls, only to have my arrow in his back. I made my way past an imperial soldier talking to himself, and a chef talking about cooking (down in the sewers, ew). Then I found a door with a slit. I knocked. The slit opened, "Go away!" "Esburn? Open the door, I'm a friend," I replied. "No, that's not me. I'm not that one," he said. "Delphine sent me." "Delphine? So she led you to me like a rat in a trap?" "She said, remeber the 30th of Frostfall," I said. "So it's true then. You'd better come in before they find us," he opened the door. But, it took a couple minutes with his multiple locks. I stepped in and he shut the door behind me. He was an old, tired looking man. "So Delphine's still keeping up the fight? Hasn't she realized it's hopeless?" He asked. "Why?" "Alduin has returned, just as prophesied. He will devour the world, and it will end." "I'm pretty sick of prophecies," I said, "So far I make my own destiny. Also, I'm dragonborn." "Then there is still hope! Take me to Delphine," Esburn said. Just.. let me gather my things. "Now we're talking." He ran around for a minute before I said, "Esburn. The Thalmor are in the sewers. Granted, not very good ones. But if they start taking this seriously, you could get hurt. Let's go." "Now, now, can't leave secrets for them," he said, and then, "Done. Let's run." We stepped out to find a detachment that had walked in after us, but I was being stealthy out of the gate. "Who's there?" the wizard said, and I shot him in the chest. Esburn threw up a fire cloak and engaged the other two with spells while I snuck up on the third and slit his throat with my sword. I popped a lock (I'd had to jump down when I came in) and made my way back to the Flagon. "Bye you guys, see you next time!" I shouted, and went up the hatch that led outside Riften. I summoned Serana and we traveled back to Riverwood on our magic horses. This time, I used Shadowmere. "Delphine! It's good to see you," Esburn said as we entered. "Good to see you too, old friend," she said, "Orgnar, hold down the bar a minute." She led us downstairs to her secret room. "So I assume you've heard?" Delphine asked. "Yes. Dragonborn. This changes everything. There's still hope," he started to dig through his pack, "Where is it... ah yes." He pulled out a book, 'Annals of the Dragonguard.' "Sky Haven Temple. This is where they built Alduin's Wall. All the accumulated dragon knowledge passed down by the blades. Unfortunately, the location was lost to time," Esburn explained. "I've never heard of it. How can this help us?" I asked. "It will tell us, if there is a way, how to stop Alduin. And I've found it. It should be hidden in the Reach," Esburn replied. "I know the area of the Reach you're talking about. Karthspire might lead us there," Delphine said. "Alright, a lead," I said, "Meet you there." I walked up to Orgnar and paid to rent a room and have a nap. While I was laying down, Delphine said, "Orgnar, the Inn is yours. I'm most likely never coming back here." "Well now. Didn't expect that," Orgnar replied, "Good luck with whatever you're doing." "Farewell, friend." I got in a power nap and headed north to the Dawnstar Sanctuary. I knew I could beat them there on my horse. They were on foot. And of course, when we passed through Dawnstar. A guy attacked me - right in front of the guards, and he was put down quickly. He was carrying a journal, his name was Fenrick. Trying to find sacrifices for Molag Bal so he cure for vampirism. Okay, well, whatever. And guess what! ANOTHER DRAGON ATTACK! With the guards' help, it got shot down. I casted Doom Draw to get to it and slashed with my sword as the guards arrowed it again. Getting tired of dragons, I headed over to the sanctuary. I left Serana outside and walked in. Runa was powwowing with some of the new recruits when I walked down the stairs to the common area. Hey Listener, you too busy to go on a little adventure with your mom? Runa smiled, "I was wondering when you were coming back. Did you see our new recruits?" "Yeah, a Forsworn woman (Averna). And there's a man in a chef's hat and mismatched armor (Stabby). Got some new ones in the traditional armor though. They look decent enough. Are you sure you don't need my help recruiting?" I asked, "Oh hey! It's you!" "Destana!" The jester screamed and hugged me. It was Cicero. "Yeah, I let her back in. Actually, we do need your help soon. Since Astrid's gone, we need somebody to do the whole thing in the shack. And I don't think I'm up to that level of charisma yet," Runa said. "Alright. Want to come with me for a little while?" "I dunno, I'm pretty busy," Runa said. "C'mon! Probably be fun. Get away from all this for a while. Let Babette and Nazir handle it for a few days," I pleaded. "Alright," she acquiesced. We walked outside and I noticed how cold it was. "Hey," I said. "Hey," Serana replied. "Who's this?" They both kind-of said in unison, then smiled. "This is my daughter, Runa Fair-Shield," I replied. "Runa, this is Serana. She's a princess. I'm helping her out for a little while," I explained. "Helping her, huh?" Runa smirked, elbowing me. "Gods, am I that obvious?" I asked, "Well, anyway, we're going to Karthspire to find an ancient temple to get more information about Alduin." "You're finally dealing with the prophecy, eh? Is it just a dungeon crawl though?" She asked. "That's not all. It's a surprise," I replied. We got on horses and headed to the Reach, and I swear I beat Delphine and Esburn there. I didn't know what to expect in here, but I decided I would roll deep and summoned Inigo, Sofia and Shirley right before we approached. Along with me, Runa, Serana, Delphine and Esburn, that would made 8. DEEP. Shirley had upgraded her armor to ebony. "I've gotta stay spry in my old age," she chuckled. "Gods, I was just enjoying a nice mead," Sofia said, "I would kill to finish that mead." She was wearing new armor too. Actual armor from the UNP Store. "Well, there's one thing we agree on," Serana said, "Alcohol. Especially craft-brewed mead." "I love it!" Sofia said. "I'm starting to salivate..." Serana said. "Hey. I got you a present when we were at UNP. A set of robes, gauntlets and boots. And a crown," I took them out and Serana put them on. "These look beautiful!" She said. Time for combat! And when we rolled up... yet another dragon attack, though it was also attacking the Forsworn, so I guess it wasn't all bad. A lot of Forsworn. With mages and warriors. I knew that I was right to bring the posse. We fought through them, some of them retreating. This looked like a main settlement for Forsworn. Anyway, we made our way into a cave and fought some more, then found a puzzle with three spinning pillars. While Esburn talked about the symbols, I just spun them until they worked. There was no confirmation/trap so there was no danger in failure. The next room looked like a huge stone checkerboard with symbols on each pad. I motioned for everyone to stop. "Wait!" Esburn said, "Don't step anywhere." "I just..." I sighed, "I have a light step, so I'm going to walk across these and deactivate the trap." I walked forward and Sofia started to inch forward behind me. A fireball blasted her back on her butt. Only once though, before I was able to pull the chain. I sighed again, "You gotta listen if you're going to dungeon crawl with me." We stepped into a courtyard with a giant head. Esburn said, "It looks like it has a blood seal. Probably your blood, Dragonborn." "Fine," I cut my palm and squeezed a bit of blood onto the circle. The head backed away and we were able to get inside. My companions and I rushed forward, finding an old meeting call with vaulted stone ceilings. Esburn made his way in and started to look at the giant carving on the wall at the back of the hall. "Amazing, isn't it?" He marveled. "Just tell me how to kill Alduin," I said flatly. "Hold on, let me find the right panel," he replied. I waited for a few minutes, in which my group started to walk around. Sofia broke the silence, like she couldn't stand there being quiet, "Everybody in Skyrim has such dirty minds, you know?" "Well, everything you say tends to be overtly sexual," Serana quipped back, "More power to you for being yourself, but maybe you shouldn't say whatever comes to your mind sometimes." "Okay...okay," Sofia said back. "Looks like, Alduin was defeated by a shout," Esburn said. "Well, I know who would know about it, if anyone. The Greybeards," I said. "But first... this place is perfect," I said, turning to the group, "I have something I've been thinking about for a while now. You guys are free to stay or go. Except for Runa, Delphine and Serana. I'm going to be using this hall for something. Something big." "What?" Delphine said, "We just got this place back. What do you want to use it for?" "Well. This is neutral ground, and we've cleared a path to safely get here," I cleared my throat, pausing for effect. "I'm going to call the Moot."

Hey, it's me, Destana. After a year of making the Thieves' Guild great, learning to play Lute better, slaying dragons, raiding forts and 'persuading' them to join the Stormcloaks, attending magic college and having Damien, my son (with a couple months off before and a week off after for me), Ulfric and the gang were ready to raid Solitude. I decided I would leave Damien with Iona and Sanguine. He didn't want to get involved this time. Something about meddling in the affairs of mortals far too much. (Honestly, I think he was getting bored of Skyrim). So I brought the regular crew: Inigo, Sofia, Vilja and Shirley. I want to say it was an epic battle. It was, of course. Ultimately, General Tullius fell like so many of his men before him. It all came down to him and his main guard. When she said she would fight to the last breath, I had been behind her and slit her throat before the boys could lay into her. Then Tullius. Ulfric nodded to me, "Do you want to do the honors?" Part of me thought there might have been too much killing these past few months, but I was still on my high horse about doing whatever I wanted. "Do it. I want a clean death," Tullius said, "The harshness of Skyrim has a way of carving a man down to his true self." "Damn. This man speaks truth," I said back. I took out a dagger and stabbed him. We walked out into the courtyard and presented the General's body to the amassed people, including Jarl Elisif the Fair. Galmar shouted, "I present to you, Ulfric Stormcloak, hero of the people, liberator and High King of Skyrim! "I am indeed Ulfric Stormcloak, and at my side the woman we know as Stormblade, and the world knows as the Dragonborn," Ulfric said. "Velvet Acid Talos," I muttered, but I held my tongue because I didn't want to interrupt his speech. "And indeed, there are many that call us heroes. But it is all of you who are the true heroes! It was you who fought a dying Empire who sunk its claws into our land, trying to drag us down with it. It was you who fought the Thalmor and their puppets who would have us deny our gods and our heritage. It was you who fought your kin who didn't understand our cause, who weren't willing to pay the price of our freedom. But more than that, it was you who fought for Skyrim, for our right to fight our own battles... to return to our glory and traditions, to determine our own future!" Ulfric continued, "And it is for these reasons that I cannot accept the mantle of 'High King.' Not until the Moot declares that title should adorn my shoulders will I accept it. "I would swear my fealty to you, Jarl Ulfric!" Elisif shouted back. "You, of course, will remain Jarl of Solitude," Ulfric reponded. He paused, then continued, "A great darkness is growing, and soon we will be called to fight it, on these shores or abroad. The Aldmeri Dominion may have defeated the Empire, but it has not...defeated... Skyrim!" He walked over to us as the crowd cheered. "I told you not to call me Dragonborn. It's a silly legend," I said. "Even so, Stormblade, it's our legend," Galmar said. "So when are you going to be High King? What does it take for the moot to meet?" "Now, I wait," Ulfric replied. "Smart call, Ulfric," Galmar nodded, "Letting Elisir keep her life. You will be High King some day." "Damn, it was nice having you on this one, Ulfric. Your shouts are almost as good as mine," I smirked. "Because you're dragonborn, you cheater," Ulfric replied, "Took me ten years to learn Unrelenting Force." I chuckled, "Maybe you should join my team in the field someday. Maybe it's combat experience that made me so damn good." Ulfric and Galmar laughed. I counted up my dragon souls in my head. Nine. I only have basic shouts though, as I hadn't looked for any more word walls. We retired to Windhelm. I hung out at the Palace of Kings for a few hours, reveling with the Stormcloaks and my group. But it was a sad revel this day. I knew this campaign was at an end. They would stay here, though some would scatter to occupy the holds and keep them from falling back into Imperial rule, and I had my own business to conduct. Of course, I had one more night with Ulfric for the road, as I knew it might be a while until I saw him again. I'm strange like that. I think I like having sex with important and exotic people. Part of me says it's because of the novelty. Part of me has a roll of parchment in my pocket and I'm checking off important men (and women) as they come along. I returned to Riften, to find Sanguine on one of his 'business trips.' I cuddled my baby through the night. In the morning, I gathered together my group. Sitting at the table in Honeyside, I said, "You guys. This last year has been awesome. And we never thought of a name for our group." "How about the Dragon..." "Don't you say it too, Sofia," I growled. Inigo added, "Fusrodorians!" "The Fighting Mongooses," Vilja said. "How about the Stormblade Sentry?" Sofia asked. "Damn. For once you said something smart, Sofia. Okay. I'll allow it," I said. "Thanks... hey wait!" She started. I tossed a fat sack of coins on the table, "This is your final paycheck." "But why? You need us!" Sofia said. Sofia was kind of annoying, and she never shut up. But she was good in a fight, and really good looking, so I let it slide most of the time. "I definitely don't. But I WILL miss you," I replied, "There's no reason for me to roll around with a huge company for the time being. I promise I'll come call on you again someday." "You know, we never did my quest," Vilja said. "Stick around. I'll pay you to look after Damien. I promise I will help you with it someday," I smiled. To be honest, Vilja and I had never really connected. Maybe it was her vacant eyes and responses that made no godsdamn sense. "I will see you again, friend, I know it. I'll be hanging out in the Riften prison," Inigo said. "Again with the prison. You know I'm thane here. And Whiterun. We have more than enough money to buy the vacant house in Whiterun and put you up there." Shirley nodded, "I expected this day would come. Especially with your new baby. You deserve a vacation." Shirley had always been like a grandma to me. And extremely durable to boot. I said goodbye to them and they all went their separate ways. I told Sanguine later that I'd be going it alone for a little while. He was okay with that, which I figured. He always seemed to be the last one in combat. Immortality has it's drawbacks too I guess. Though, maybe he'd just revive in Oblivion? "You know, you're right. Although we might not see each other again if I die," he explained when I asked him, "It can take days. Or decades. Or centuries." Vacation? Fat chance. But I was still thinking about where I would go and what I would do. The Dark Brotherhood didn't seem like they needed me for now. The Thieves' Guild was great again and they seemed not to need me anymore (all I had left to do at this point was to turn in the Skeleton Key, which I was considering because I'm such a nice person). I could investigate the Orb for the mages... Ultimately I decided to do a couple of low-impact jobs to get myself back in the solo-adventuring mood. I would need to modify my fighting style if I was going to go it alone. I thought on my skills, and my fallbacks were utter mastery of archery, stealth and lockpicking and my mid-level skill at pickpocketing, one-handed weapons, light armor and shields. But now I was a mage too. Illusion was probably my best skill, being good enough to bend minds and make myself invisible (adept+). My destruction was adept at best. Allies don't like you blowing them up with your enemies. Conjuration: adept at best, as I usually had enough real meat shields to tank for me. Restoration was fairly high, seeing as how I spent a lot of time patching up allies. Alteration was a side skill, and I only had enough for mild conveniences. And enchanting... what the heck is enchanting? I'd never spent much time on any of the crafting professions for the same reason Vikings never learned to farm - I usually take such things from my enemies. The first thing I did was explore the tunnels around the Ragged Flagon. Seemed like a light warmup now that I was... let's say 'unburdened' by pregnancy. Mostly rats and stray vampires. I kept my distance and burned/shot them from afar. But what intrigued me was the reports of ghosts I'd heard about when I first started here. I delved deeper into the tunnels and found that there were actually ghosts down there. I made them double dead. There was a sword there I snagged - Dawnfang. So I finally got a replacement for Dragon's Oath. Then as I was reading my quest log in the Flagon later that evening, I noticed I have a note about some bandits stealing the Armor of the Crusaders. I went to get it and blew them up. Amateurs don't deserve such nice armor. Let me tell you, it looks hideous on me. I kept the body piece, with the Nightingale Gloves and Boots. Helmet? Are there invisible helmets anywhere? I went with a Circlet of Archery or Destruction for now. Then I returned the Skeleton Key. I returned to my baby and did things mothers do with their babies. In the morning, I returned to the Flagon. Brynjolf said he wanted to see me, now that I finally returned it. "So you've finally decided to return the thing that was cursing us to begin with," Brynjolf smirked as I approached. "Nocturnal and I had an arrangement," I said, which may or may not have been a lie. I mean, I did pray to her sometimes when I was about to steal things, and I kept praying to her to tell her I was going to return it when the guild reached this point. And now I'd fulfilled my end of the bargain. Brynjolf continued, "Well, my friend... the time's come to make it official. It's time to become our Guild Master. Don't worry, I promise this will be short and sweet. If you'll just meet us in the center of the cistern room, we can begin." I walked to the center of the cistern and all the many members of the guild surrounded me. The inner circle, Vex, Delvin, Karliah and Brynjolf were in the inner ring, with everyone else in the outer ring. Brynjolf started, "Look, I've never been good at these things, so I'm just going to keep it short. Being Guild Master means more than just getting a cut of all the loot, it's about being a leader and keeping this rabble in order. With that in mind, I propose that the position of Guild Master should be yours. Delvin?" "Agreed." "Vex?" "Sure, why not," she replied. "Karliah?" Brynjolf continued. "Absolutely." "Everyone is in agreement, so all I can do now is name you Guild Master and wish you good fortune and long life," Brynjolf smiled. He handed me a key and a necklace while Tonilia stepped up to hand me Guild Master's armor, "And..." "And?" "And we have a little treat set up for you," he continued. "Treat?" I smiled, not sure if they were about to all knife me in the back or give me a chest of gold. But when all of them started to take their clothes off, it became clear what was going on. "You're the cumdump, right?" Vex snickered. "One last go-around before we have to call you boss," Delvin smiled at me. I instinctively pulled my armor off, "You know that position is still going to be okay by me, right?" That was a long day. I don't know if you know this, but because of my 'vigorous' recruitment (and of course, a lot by some of the higher ups) the guild has over thirty members. And they all got their turn. Afterward, I felt like I needed a bath, possibly a Skooma, and a priest. I retired to Honeysideto snuggle up with Sanguine after a thorough scrubbing. And... it'd been a few days since I'd seen him so we had sex too. But in the morning. With all that, I took a few days before I went adventuring again. I talked to Brynjolf and we decided he was going to be the front man. I was more the planning guy who collected earnings. I think I'd stolen everything possible from Skyrim - at this point the Ragged Flagon was much less ragged, and was lit up with opulence, with fence shops like a black market. Though, it was still in the sewers. Speaking of priests, I decided I would go get Mara's blessing after that display. You can't be too careful. Maybe go figure out what is with the Dibellan Priestesses at some point. I walked into the church to find nobody there, so I sat and waited, realizing I'd gotten up early in the morning. "Ah, greetings Thane," Dinya smiled, tidying up around the shrine. "What's that altar there?" "He calls himself Dudestia. A small, cult following. Apparently, not one of the big divines. More like a friend of Mara, I guess," Dinya said, "Have you met our new priests?" I shook my head. "One of them is from Nyhus, along the Cyrodiil border. Have you ever been to Cyrodiil?" I shook my head again, "Can't say I have. I've been thinking about getting away for a while. I certainly have the money to take a trip to Cyrodiil, or Elswyer. Maybe just a jaunt to Bruma." "What about Hammerfell?" She asked, turning to me. "Hmm..." I thought, "Maybe someday. But there's not really anything for me there now." I looked up at the sun, and down at my now leaking boobs. "Blah. Time to nurse again. Damien's probably up by now. Sorry, gotta go," I stood and walked towards the door. "Beautiful motherhood," she said, "I look forward to our next meeting." I opened the door. "Oh, and congratulations!" Dinya said as I was leaving. I froze, then turned around. She didn't know I was Thieves' Guild Master. She probably didn't know I was one of the leaders of the Stormcloak rebellion. I mean... I had Damien nearly a month ago. Maybe it was that? "Congratulations for what?" I asked finally. "Oh, you don't know?" She asked. I blinked, "I must be in some kind of deja vu level of Oblivion. Is this really happening again?" Dinya blinked, "It seems as though it is. You're pregnant again." "...Shut up. You're not serious," I'm sure my face contorted into something that looked like rage, but then I calmed and turned to look at her. I walked back over, "Okay. Okay. Could you do the test, and just like before..." "You want to know who the father is?" Dinya asked. ".....Yes," I said, a little embarrassed, though I don't really know why. She closed her eyes, and focused for a few seconds, "Ulfric Stormcloak." I pursed my lips, stood, and started to walk out. I turned back towards her, said nothing, then walked out. "Congratulations!" Maramal emerged from the back just in time to shout. I guess he'd been eavesdropping. "Shut the fuck..." The door slammed that'd been shutting behind me. I took a deep breath. I wondered how Sanguine was going to take this. I imagined, probably alright. One of the byproducts of so much debauchery was children. I walked in to Honeyside and sat at the dining table. Sanguine emerged from whatever he'd been doing downstairs and handed me Damien, which I popped on my boob. "Hey, can I tell you something disturbing and somewhat incriminating?" "Dear, you are a criminal. And I assure you I cannot be disturbed," he sat down opposite me. "I'm pregnant again," I said. "I figured it'd happen sooner or later, because we never use protection. So damning," he chuckled. "It's not yours," I said. He looked at me silently for a few seconds, then he smiled again, "I was just pausing so you'd get the worst anxiety about my answer." He laughed, "I also figured that would happen too." "Not mad, are you?" He took my hands, "We both entered into this knowing the other wasn't going to be exclusive. Why the hell would I be mad? Would it surprise you to know I've fucked probably over a million people in my time?" "Just how old are you, anyway?" "I dunno. What is time, even? If you want to get technical, I'm et'Ada, a spirit who has been around since the beginning. I vaguely remember the First Era, the Merethic, Dawn and before. Though understanding and reality wasn't what it now is," Sanguine replied. "That's a very cerebral answer," I smiled. I knew he wouldn't be mad. It did make me feel small, though. I always knew I was merely a blip in the infinity of his immortality. This made me sad. But, after I thought about it, it made me feel a little happier. The most beautiful flower only blooms for a short time. "Hey, you asked," he smiled, "Are you going to be just as rough on yourself during this pregnancy as the last time?" "I think," I started, "I'm going to check out what's going on with Helgen. But that's it. I'll keep attending classes and getting better with magic." "Say, dear," Sanguine said. "Yes?" "This might sound out of left field." "What is it?" "Do you want to adopt a child?" "Well... why?" "There's a young girl down at Honorhall that's been there since adoptions started. I walk around town sometimes and I notice her, looking sad. Almost all the original orphans from when you murdered that old crone have already been adopted. What do you think?" "I think..." I was going to say he doesn't always think his decisions through. But then instead I said, "Alright, sure. Iona, think you can take care of another couple kids?" Iona stepped in, "I am your sword AND your shield." Sanguine and I looked at each other. Crippling social anxiety makes her say random phrases? "I think, also, we should find a bigger house," Sanguine put his feet up on the table. I nodded, taking a couple of Skyrim Guidebooks off the shelves and flipping through them on the table. "Says here there's a plot available in northern Skyrim," I said, "That's right next to that abandoned shack the Dark Brotherhood kidnapped me in. Could provide easy access when I start working with them again." "What hold?" Sanguine asked. "Ugh," I cringed, "Solitude. I HATE Solitude. But the location is so good. It's right next to the Sea of Ghosts. And we can design it. Ugh... Solitude. I guess I'll work on that. But that will be all for this pregnancy. Maybe if I figure out a better telekinesis spell I can help build it without moving a muscle." Sanguine laughed. I guess I was going to Solitude to do some more 'public service.' But first I would stop off in Windhelm to break the news to Ulfric. I technically could marry two people, due to the new Tenets of Dudestia, but I didn't really want to marry Ulfric. Our relationship was more casual than that. We were friends; war buddies. The sex was convenient. When I arrived, he was brooding on his throne, and I was thinking on what I would say. It'd only been weeks since I saw him, and he seemed not to have made a single move; politically or otherwise, but it seemed like it'd been a while for me. I stood in the doorway, thinking about what was going to happen.

Hi, it's me, Destana. Last time I did some work for the Riften Jarl, the Thieves' Guild and the Dark Brotherhood, attended a class at Winterhold, and then I was on my way to Markarth. And what do you know, when I arrived in Markarth, it was being attacked by Lost Valley Forsworn, with a Mammoth and Giant. I jumped in, managing to take a couple down with my bow and sneaking into the guard tower to continue my onslaught of arrows. Really, the guards kept them busy while I killed everything (though it took probably 50 arrows for the giant and mammoth, and a few potions because of archers getting wise and firing back). I walked up to the gate to find all the Markarth gate guards piled in a charred heap. Guess they'll need to hire more. Had I been to Markarth before at this point? I don't think so. First impressions are crucial. I walked in and witnessed a murder not five seconds after I thought I was safe within the city walls. The murderer yelled something about the forsworn. So, I guess I'll put it on my list to find out about these forsworn guys. A guy handed me a note and assured me he had no idea what was going on but the note said to meet him later. But I had more important things to do. The Silver Blood Inn was right in front of me so I went and talked to the DB contact first - Muiri. She wanted me to kill a guy in an old dwarven ruin. He used her. Her body also. That's a murder I can get behind. And bonus, she wants me to kill a woman in Windhelm as well. I'm sure I'll be back there eventually. "I will be done," I said, meaning, 'I'll get to it when I get to it.' (EDIT): I totally forgot about this, but I walked into a house while I was there and Molag Bal contacted me. A Bro of Stendarr was there with me. Apparantly Molag Bro told him that it was him or me. Before he could even finish drawing his weapon, he was stabbed. I went to the basement and found Molag Bal's statue, who spoke to me. He asked me to find a priest and destroy him. Which... I nodded my head, and to this day have still not done. I did, however, find three Daedra at the entrance to the house on my way out. And... wondering if they all measured up to Sanguine, I enticed them and got them to show me. If you know what I mean. They don't, by the way. (/EDIT) Next, I went to see Calcelmo, into the dwarven ruins that served as a hold for the Jarl. As soon as I entered, a robed man and a nord were having a disagreement. Apparently the inner dwemer ruins are locked. I approached him, feeling like I was going to be drawn into the ruins here eventually anyway, "What's wrong?" "People have been showing up with bite marks when coming out of the Hall of the Dead. You look like an adventurer, want to take a look?" "Geez, you barely know me and you're offering me the keys? Sure," I said, taking the keys. I continued through a passage to Calcelmo. "What do you want?" He didn't even look up from his notes. "I'd like to buy some spell tomes," I said. "Magic, always magic. Never history!" He seemed unusually angry. "Well, I am curious about history too. I've been told you're an expert on the Falmer language," I said. "Yes, yes I am," he said. "Could I see your texts?" "You're crazy. It's my life's work," he said. "Surely I could pay you for your time," I replied. "Being a scholar, money isn't my highest priority," he sneered. "..." I waited a few seconds, thinking I should formally train my speechcraft, "I'll give you a blowjob." The old man looked at me with a little disgust, then he smirked, "It's been years. I guess I could let you into my lab." So I did. I'm good at using my mouth to convince people, one way or another. He handed me the keys to his lab, then I said, "How about the ruins proper? I'd like to explore. I'm kind of a dungeon connoisseur." "Hmm... if you deal with a nasty giant spider, then sure," he said, handing me another key. I went to kill the spider first, judging it to be a quicker task. And, indeed, I sliced through a few small monstrous spiders with my sword and killed the big boy with my bow before he got to me. After the spider was a journal with a corpse, detailing an expedition that'd been lost, I presumed. Urgh! The breadcrumbs! I wrote that down in my quest log and continued in further. Once inside, I had my first encounter with the Falmer. Disgusting creatures. Because I was completely silent and now getting very good with the bow, I made short work of most the targets I came across, though a Chaurus Reaper was a little tougher. I gathered journals of the other expedition members and turned on the defenses of the area, at which point I was attacked by a very strong golden dwemer ghost who summoned a large centurion. Sensing I was beyond my depth, I hopped down to a previous door and ran out between the remaining falmer fighting the now awakened dwemer defense systems. I then ventured into the museum, ready to have this over with. A guard tried to stop me, but I showed him the key. While I was walking away I remember him saying, "This is Markarth, traveler, safest city in the Reach." I almost burst out laughing. I nearly got killed twice just trying to get in the doors. I passed some guards and books about dwemer, then tried to open the doors to the lab. The key I had didn't open, so I used my own key. Easy lockpick. I walked in further to find more armed guards, but not the hold variety. Looked like freelancers. They immediately drew weapons on me. "Help! Intruder!" The woman in heavy armor shouted, coming at me with sword and shield. "I'm here for Calcelmo!" I shouted, but she wasn't hearing it. I used my shield to knock her sword out of the way and gave her a few good slashes, sending her down. A man behind her followed up, getting the same treatment. I took keys and gold from their bodies. Strange. I went up some stairs and found two more guards looking at some mechanism. Not chancing it this time, I put the left guard down with an arrow to the back of the neck. The right guard hadn't even reacted before he got the same treatment. I continued on and a third walked toward the scene of gore. I jumped out from behind him and slit his throat. Wondering if I was going overboard, I walked up to another guard a few rooms later sitting in a chair. He immediately drew weapons on me and attacked, so I killed him too. Another joined the battle and I put him down, then a third, who'd been firing arrows into the room. I shot her in the leg and finished the job with my sword as I closed the distance. Who were these guys? And for that matter, why were they so weak? They seemed like amateurs. The next room I snuck in quickly before anybody saw me and slit a guy's throat. A wizard sitting at a table and more guards drew so I booked it out of the room. When the first guard turned the corner he got an arrow to the face, an arrow to the knee, a shield to the side of the head, then a blade to the chest. The second guard (single file, I guess) got an arrow between the eyes and died instantly. I peeked into the next room to find the wizard aiming spells at me. "Why are you attacking me? I'm just trying to find something and I'll go!" But he kept shooting. I buried an arrow in his chest, which nearly immediately killed him. Guess I didn't know my own strength. Then he started to run. I stepped into the room and aimed the last arrow in his back. Were these guys trying to rob Calcelmo or something? I mean, that's not to say I wasn't taking the stray valuables as I trekked through. I shrugged. I've killed people for less. I continued in to Calcelmo's Tower. Before me, a balcony. I jumped up onto the balcony to find the slab I'd been looking for. But I didn't have anything to record the data. I ventured through the balcony's door and found come charcoal and paper to take a rubbing. I did the deed and found a few more of the mysterious guards approaching. My first thought was just to kill them. But I realized I could just shut the door behind me, cast Lock, wait for them to pass by the balcony and just slip out unnoticed. One of them stayed to guard the door and I aimed my bow at his head. But then he also walked into the room. I slipped out. Seeing that it was night and feeling the sleep deprivation hit me, I told Calcelmo about the spider and gave him the journals. I played at the Silver-Blood Inn and slept until noon the next day. But honestly, who sleeps on stone beds? Terrible. I was talking with the innkeeper about rumors and he said Helgen'd been attacked and destroyed, and bandits had taken residence there. An entry for later. On the way to Windhelm, I stopped at Raldbthar and killed Muiri's target. Hardly worth a mention - a group of bandits and some random dwemer constructs (found myself a Bandit Skull Shield), then to Windhelm where her secondary target was. I walked in and talked to her, offering her comfort in the form of sex. The thing about Windhelm is there aren't a lot of private places, but I was able to do the deed in an alley and stash the body out of sight. Then I continued to go north to Enthir and Karliah with that rubbing from earlier. He asked how I got the rubbing, to which I told him I blew the old man. And he asked for one too. Sigh, whatever. Spread debauchery. After he translated the text we found Mercer had desecrated something called the Twilight Sepulcher. Karliah gave me a Nightingale Blade and told me to meet her at the guild so we could explain what was happening. I figured I would get those books the Archmage wanted while I was here. The Librarian said the books were gone, taken by a mage to a place called Fellglow Keep. Wait! I already killed everything there a few weeks ago. Smiling, I decided I would take a detour and just collect the things on the way to Riften. I slept in my college bed before going. Good thing I have a horse, I'm doing a lot of traveling. ...Or not! I showed up at Fellglow Keep to find a group of wizards having moved in. This was bound to happen after an area is cleared out. What's more as I drew near voices came from behind me. A bunch of thugs who'd been hired to hunt me down! First thing I did was run off into the open plains so the wizards didn't follow, then have a long drawn-out fight with the thugs (stronger by far than anything I'd been fighting recently). After downing two of them, one of the mages started shooting at the last thug. I was confused by this, but maybe the mages weren't immediately hostile to me. When the thug was down, the mage nodded to me calmly, then readied a spell. I sighed, drawing bow and dealing the last hit to him. I ventured inside, ready for more of the same. I killed the first bandit by shooing him between the eyes, killing his pet spiders in short order and the bandit mage sitting at a table easily. I went into a hallway to find a Goblin Shaman and an Apprentice Fire Mage fighting. The Goblin kept eying me as I was sneaking behind the mage, like he knew I was going to kill whoever won. He was right, of course. But the mage stepped on a dart trap and killed himself, so it saved me the work. The next room held a jail with vampire fleglings and I threw all the levers, letting them all out. They rushed past me and wreaked havok on the mages in the next room, both sides decimating each other. Maybe I hadn't cleared this area. Lots going on here. I went into the next room that had dead vampires splayed out on tables. Forget books - I was interested in what was going on here. Next room was filled with dead goblins and mages. Then after that, pyromancers testing fire spells on vampires in cages, which, I killed the mages. Another jail room, with the mage who stole the books. I let him out, but he couldn't tell me where the books were, only with the Caller. Right. Just another person for me to kill. "Want me to follow you around and help you find them?" He asked. "You should get to safety," I replied, not really in the mood to talk to anyone. "You're sure you don't need my help?" He asked. "If you don't get out of my face I might kill you myself," I replied. "I hope the caller turns you inside out," he replied. I growled, took out my sword and swung it at him in immediate rage and took his head off. Whoops!! I clenched my teeth. I may have reacted a little bit overboard. I was just mad and trying to scare him. I sheathed it and said to myself, "Yeah... those bandits are unbelievable. Why would they behead him...?" I stepped into a crypt, making short work of skeletons and necromancers, keeping my search going. Finally, I reached the Caller, who told me she would let me leave even after I'd killed her men, but would not give me the books. Wrong answer. I drew my bow and she started summoning, and she was dead before her lackeys came in to help her. They followed soon after. Gods, I am on a roll. From there I headed to Riften to the Ragged Flagon. Karliah and I showed the guild the proof that Mercer is a scumbag, and they checked the vault. Everything was gone. So they tasked me with getting in to Mercer's house in Riften. I leapt over the gate and instead of reasoning with Vald I opted for the stabbing him to death - the same method I used with all of Mercer's guards (which, do these people just wait here all the time and just draw a paycheck? He never comes here). I got the plans, a mountain of gems and somehow all his traps are super sensitive as I was not able to bypass them. I found he had a secret path back to the Flagon, which I used to get back there. Karliah told us to meet at the Twilight Sepulcher, which seems like a good thing for doing immediately. Blessing of Nocturnal, here I come. Maybe it was her that was looking after me during my early days. I went over to the Shadow Stone and we dealt with a couple random necromancers before Karliah led us into the Sepulcher. We took the oath. Now I'm a Nightingale, whatever that really means. So my next mission is to kill Mercer and get the Skeleton Key. "We had a long discussion before you arrived," Brynjolf started as he came down from his pedestal, "Somebody needs to take Mercer's place as guild leader." "Okay," I said, "That's obvious." "Because of you we were able to root out this cancer in the guild. We think you should replace Mercer." I raised an eyebrow as high as I could, "I've been in the guild three, maybe three and a half months. Why don't you do it? You're the obvious choice." "I've been at this a long time. I might even be one of the best. But I don't want to lead. Never desired it, never cared for it. Don't want it. Once we establish the foothold we need and we do this one big job, you're it." "Alright. I guess," I said, "I mean, I am the boots on the ground. I am like 70% of the guild's income." Brynjolf laughed, "That's the spirit. Mercer is in Irkngthand. We'll meet you there." I walked back to Riften and to the Jarl's palace. "I sorted out that Skooma den," I told her. "You're a boon to this city. Like Mjoll, you've done service to the members of this community. I'd like to offer you the title of Thane. Honeyside is available for purchase if you'd like it." I turned to the steward to make the arrangements. I handed her a huge sack of gold and said, "Please, add a children's bedroom. Do I get my own housecarl?" "Her name's Iona." "She sounds lovely," I replied, headed to sleep in my new home. It would take the Nightingales a couple days to get to that ruin I still can't pronounce. In the mean time, I decided it was time to raise that army!

Hey, I was wrong. Very wrong. I remember now. This Skooma ring was supposed to just be a few bandits, with some gamblers and randos. But Cragslane Cavern also had an equal amount of Mistwatch members. Oh yeah, it's me, Destana. So I killed the guard at the door with arrows. Not much trouble. I snuck into the cavern proper, standing on a wooden ramp with cover and plugged a woman with two arrows, killing her. I looked down and saw probably a dozen guys drawing their weapons. For reference, this was before I mastered stealth. I was good, but not that good. And as they came up the ramp, I could tell there were more than I imagined. Probably twenty. I took a couple swings at the guy in front and RAN. Outside I strafed around things, using my crossbow to not get surrounded. This battle ultimately ended up back in the cave, where I thought I might lose them. To my surprise, not all the bandits had followed me outside and I was now pinned between two groups. I threw up my hands and surrendered. As I had already killed four of their number, they were out for blood. They had their way with me. When they were done, I collapsed in a heap. I knew there would be a second group (maybe a third?) So I stood and dealt death to two more of them and slipped back into my brotherhood clothes. I ran outside again. We went through the same song and dance, the others wanting a piece and me running and strafing. Unluckily for me, the last two got the drop on me after I'd killed nearly all the others, and they got their turn with me. But, bandits don't tend to be very smart. I wondered later if they intended on sticking me in a cage and using me later. But I did the same to them. Throats were slit when they got off. The Dark Brotherhood training wasn't a waste of time after all. I reconsidered my general 'doing things alone' that day. As even a random bandit hold can decimate me, I guess. Thankfully, I avoided death again. That's the day I got the Tally Marks on my stomach. I decided that in the future I would look into bringing companions to dungeons. I washed off and continued north. My body'd taken punishment, but I was used to it at this point. I reached Snow Veil Sanctum and Mercer was waiting for me. This was a start for companions, and I ventured in with him. The first few rooms were weak draugr. The pathways had stronger ones, including one that shouted foreign words and sent Mercer flying. (I couldn't help but laugh at him as I finished the thing off). But... Fus ro dah? What does that mean? What language is that? We trekked further in and between the two of us we felled scores of draugr and ghosts. I found another rune wall... word wall? Our word of the day: Zun. Same thing happened with the weird light. Not sure what it all means. Mercer was playing catchup at the time but I doubt he would've seen it even if he was closeby. Eventually we reached a puzzle door, which Mercer was able to disarm. Then I stepped through the doorway and got shot and paralyzed. So it turns out Mercer killed the last guildmaster. Karliah escaped, and then Mercer stabbed me. So I guess, not all companions are worthwhile. I woke up, grasping for my body to check for wounds. Karliah had saved me from dying and it seemed I was okay. Any wounds had been healed while I slept. I pulled out a red bottle and drank it. A pregnancy test. It was sweet. Everything was okay. I would need to reconsider who I would trust from now on. "So what's the deal here? Trying to take down Mercer?" I asked as I got up. "I paralyzed you to save your life. It was meant for him, but I never got a clear shot at him. I think he brought you on purpose as a human shield." "How can I help expose him?" I growled. I was out for blood now. "I have Mercer's journal. It's in Snow Elf though, you'll have to get it translated." "I wonder where somebody who knows that could be," I mused. "The College of Winterhold. Enthir," Karliah responded. "Excellent. I'm a student there. I was on my way back after this anyway," I said. Speaking of which, I looked up at the sky, "Crap. It's almost dawn. I need to go." I took the journal and called my horse, "I'll talk to Enthir." I set down my things in the college and rode to Saarthal. You may ask why I went to such lengths to make it here on time. I would say it's because I've never been a part of any structured organization in my life and it was nice to have goals. Mercer thought I was dead, so he wouldn't be looking for me. When I got to Saarthal the class was waiting for me in the snowstorm. It's always storming here. We went inside. I sighed. Hopefully this would be a quiet class without any sort of weirdness or combat. Of course, when is that ever a thing? "How was your weekend?" J'zargo asked as we walked. "Oh, you know. The usual stuff. Raided like three tombs. Became a Thane of Riften. Joined the Dark Brotherhood." "Wait, wha.." "Shh!" Onmund said, "Tolfdir is talking! Class started." Tolfdir handed out jobs to people. I was told to help one of the researchers. Weak draugr immediately attacked and we made short work of them. I picked up artifacts and was trapped in a room when I took an amulet off the wall, and the wall opened up when I casted Frostbite at it (I've learned a few more basic spells). Curious, Tolfdir and I ventured further in. An image appeared to me of someone from the Psijic Order. Tolfdir couldn't see. It said that a chain of events had been set in motion and I would need to deal with it. Gods, I am such a weirdness magnet. I described it to Tolfdir, who told me who the Psijics are. Or were, since they hadn't been seen in a hundred years. We decided to venture forward a bit and explore the tomb. While we did, Tolfdir helped me train in Alteration and taught me a couple more useful basic spells. Alteration really is the most convenient school what with spells like Slowfall, Solve, Lock and Unlock. Two draugrs leapt out of nearby tombs as we walked and I blasted with Frost while Tolfdir did Flames. After a few seconds I thought, 'To hell with it' and stabbed the remaining one with my dagger. I'd need a lot more practice to equal my fighting skills with magic. Next room, four draugr popped out. Tolfdir made a show of buffing himself, but they were weak and all four were dead by my bow before Tolfdir even engaged. "My word, you're pretty good with that thing," he commented, "Sure you're a mage?" "Novice mage, master thief. I have many talents," I said, continuing forward. "I'd like to stay here and have a closer look at this area. You go on ahead," he said, "You seem to be capable of taking care of yourself." I pursed my lips. Alright. Here we go again. I hadn't even slept and I had done three dungeon crawls in the last 24 hours. Though the bandit/skooma cave could be described as a "dungeon crawls on top of you." I went through the next couple rooms, stealth killing draugr with my sword and bow. You know, I think this is near when I was crossing a threshhold in which my stealth skills were so good people would start to lose sight of me if they didn't keep their eyes on me constantly. It certainly worked on weak draugr. More weak draugr, meet headshot. I'll tell you something I did learn that helped, though. I summoned a familiar to distract and divide as I picked them off. I found a puzzle room, which was just playing matching, then another weird door puzzle. Two lightning runes were obviously on the floor in front of me. I sighed. Though I'd trained in the art of not setting off pressure plates, I really needed to learn dispel magic. I activated one - healed myself, activated another - healed myself. Then the nord puzzle. Easy. Were these considered hard back in those days? I stepped forward and two draugr were around the corner. "High time I caught up with you!" Tolfdir shouted as he came up behind me as I snuck at them. Fortunately, he set off the pressure plate that peppered them with darts. I gave them an arrow each to put them down for good. Last room, a giant glowing orb and an angry, invincible draugr. Tolfdir thought fast and shot lightning at the orb, disabling the shield around the draugr. I took him down with sword and shield. After the fight, the power of the ruin washed over the both of us. I felt the draw, and so did he. So the old man and I took our clothes off, and he showed me some tricks using telekinesis and holding me up while he slid me onto him. This old man still has a few tricks. Afterward, he asked me to go tell the Archmage about the orb. Alright. I found another word wall. Liz. I really need to figure out what these things are. A treasure chest with gold and a nice Scale Helm. I ran back to the college. First, to talk to Enthir, then to the Archmage. Well, Enthir was at the tavern. He sent me to Calcelmo in Markarth. The Archmage is going to go look at the orb and asked that I do research. I do like books, but I figured there are more pressing things to do. It seems like classes are not in session for the time being until they deal with this orb thing. Instead of going straight to my destination I took care of a few side jobs: 1. Headed to the west to Dawnstar and kill Beitild. I talked to her and told her I could relieve her stress. Led her behind the inn and gave her a little bit of heaven, then killed her. 2. Headed to the south past Windhelm to Anga's Mill to kill Ennodius. At this point, it was just after midnight. I happened upon him sleeping so I just stabbed him. Easier. I think being gangraped again may have led to me wanting to stab a few people with extreme prejudice, with less remorse than before. And if other people want these guys dead, all the better. 3. Headed more south to Iverstead to kill the beggar Narfi. I merely used stealth and killed him (it was early morning now). I wouldn't have used a sex kill for this - he looks pretty dirty. Return to DB Sanctuary and get more contracts. I walked down the stairs to find everybody congregated in the Sanctuary around a box. And a strange jester. She's very cute. I turned in contracts and picked up my first big job from Astrid, in Markarth! If there's one thing I like, it's quest efficiency. Don't bother me to go to a place until I have at least two things to do there. As I exit the Brotherhood Sanctuary, I consider my plans. It's almost time that I contributed to the civil war for real. I have a plan in mind to keep me safe in battle: to gather an army of followers. But first, on to Markarth to talk to Calcelmo about the Falmer language and implicate Mercer and talk to a Dark Brotherhood contract. New Mods

Hey there, it's me, Destana. Where was I in the story? I'd found out the name of the person trying to take down the Thieves' Guild. I fought once in the Arena, and was not going to do that in my present state. I played a few Inns as a Bard, was not an official member yet. I was a student at the College of Winterhold. I have attended one class. I have designs on becoming a Thane in Riften in the near future to get an actual house. Most importantly, I was pregnant with the child of Sanguine, Daedric Lord of Debauchery. Also, his adherent. Spreading debauchery, but trying to keep myself safe. Most pressing, though, I was kidnapped by some woman and three people were tied up in front of me. “You’re safe. Which is more than I can say about Grelod the Kind," the woman was sitting on top of a bookcase. “You know about that? I’m surprised you followed me all the way to Winterhold.” “Half of Skyrim knows. You killed the matron of an orphanage in cold blood. Nobody saw you. People are saying you’re a ghost. It was a good kill. But there is a slight… problem.” “Problem?” “That Aretino boy was looking for the Dark Brotherhood. Me and my associates. Grelod was a contract. Now, you must repay the kill.” “Who?” “Turn around. I’ve collected these guests from…places. Doesn’t matter from where. There’s a contract out on one of them. They can’t leave here alive. You figure out which one.” I went to the middle one first, a woman. “Get these damn things off me! If you’re going to kill me, go ahead!” I almost said, ‘Ok’ and just did it. Customer service with a smile. Reconsidering, I asked, “Why would someone want to kill you? Just tell me what I want to know.” “I’m a woman with six children with no husband. You’re damn right if you think I’ve made enemies.” I sighed, though I really wanted to kill her. Next! The khajit on the right. “Vasha, at your service. Killer of fools, defiler of daughters. If you don’t know my name, perhaps I will carve it on your corpse later.” “You guys really don’t want to live, do you?” I asked, then said, “Why would someone want to have you killed?” “I have many enemies. If they didn’t, I’d take it as a personal insult.” Still thinking, I moved to the nord man on the left. “I’m Fultheim, a nobody. Please, just let me go.” “Why would somebody pay to have you killed?” “Oh gods, I don’t want to die.” “Just answer the question.” “Well, I’m a sellsword and have been for many years. I’m sure somebody would want me dead after all that.” I sighed. The khajit had been shouting insults from the other side of the room since I started with the man, so he was definitely dead. Should I go for extra credit? The sellsword seemed legit, though, who is to say who actually deserves death? He might be a secret rapist racist. The only reason I wasn’t considering the foul woman in the middle was her six kids, but that might be a lie as well. I walked over to the khajit and slit his throat with a dagger. There. As I started to walk back the woman shouted at me to get the bonds off her again. I slapped her in the side of the head. “The Khajit and the mother. Interesting choice,” the assassin said. I raised an eyebrow, looking back at the woman. Was she unconscious? I didn’t hit her that hard. Well, whatever. “Who was the right answer?” I asked. “Irrelevant. You got a contract to kill and you killed. Simple as that. You’re free to go, but, why not take our relationship to the next level?” She detailed the location of a hidden door on the southern end of Skyrim and gave me a password, if I was interested in joining. The Dark Brotherhood. Her name: Astrid. I got out of there immediately. I let out a long breath. Had I really become that callous about murder? Maybe Mephala or Molag Bal was a better fit for me than Sanguine. Shaking it off, I looked at my map as I put some distance between me and that shack. Not far from Dawnstar, I walked there. I’d only gotten the chance to sleep for a few hours before they took me and it was just after dark now, so I played at then slept at the Inn. I figured I should probably tie up a lot of loose ends before Morndas, I woke up very early, bought yet another horse, and rode down to Windhelm again. I walked into the Palace of Kings to find the two men in their map room. Galmar turned, "Ulfric! You owe me a drink! She made it back alive. You're definitely Stormcloak material. Ready to take the oath?" "Oath?" I asked. "You swear fealty to Ulfric Stormcloak, future high king of Skyrim," Galmar replied. "Alright. I'll do it," I looked down at my still regular-looking belly. Maybe this would help create a better future for this land that I was quickly making my permanent home. He began, and I repeated, step-by-step, "I do swear my blood and honor to the service of Ulfric Stormcloak, Jarl of Windhelm and true High King of Skyrim. As Talos is my witness, may this oath bind me to death and beyond even to my lord as to my fellow brothers and sisters in arms. All hail the Stormcloaks, the true sons and daughters of Skyrim!" I smiled. It felt good. "Oh and here, you ought to look the part," Galmar handed me a set of Stormcloak armor. I slid it into my pack, knowing I was just going to sell it later (not as good as what I have). "Oh, and I have a mission coming up you'd be good at. Somebody good in the field and resourceful, not like these milk-drinkers," Galmar chuckled. "Are you on about the crown again?" Ulfric said from across the table, "I don't need a crown to be high king." "But if you did have it, then it would legitimize your claim!" Galmar grinned. "A crown doesn't make a king," Ulfric responded. Galmar turned to me then, "I've found the final resting place of the Jagged Crown. Can you believe it?" I raised an eyebrow, like he expected me to know what that was. "Korvanjund. If old King Bargas is buried there, we're bound to run into trouble." No explanation needed. Dungeon crawling was one of my favorite and best skills. Ulfric could have his old dusty crown as long as I got a cut of the gold and gems. I walked out of the room thinking to myself, 'But, if I am truly ... protecting myself, should I not wear heavier armor? Or maybe... I could carry a shield. Heavy armor would just slow me down.' I walked over to the barracks and picked up a Windhelm Guard Shield (same symbol as the Stormcloaks). "Ah yes, there we go," I nodded. I figured it would take a few days for the Stormcloaks to get there - you know how armies are. It was only a short ride but they'd spend a great deal of time getting equipped. I decided to finish my errands. I went south to the Dark Brotherhood sanctuary. I would at least hear them out. I took a carriage to Falkreath (played the Inn there) and went into the woods. Eventually I searched out a black door with a skull on it. "What is the music of life?" The door said. Not the strangest thing I've seen, "Silence, my brother." Brother door. The brother of door. "Welcome home," the door replied. I walked in to find Astrid leaning against a post on the far side of the room. "I got past your spooky door, what now?" I asked. "Welcome, sister. Now you join the family. This is our sanctuary. Get comfortable," she said. I wasn't planning on resting just yet. "I'm going to arrange your first big job. Before that, though, talk to Nazir. He might have some smaller contracts to tide you over. Here, have some new armor. May it serve you well." Another new suit of armor. I took it, putting some of it in my bag but clumsily dropping some of it. I blinked. I picked up one of the boots and dropped it again. Expecting a thud, it made no noise whatsoever. My eyes glowed greedily as I stripped off my Thief Guild boots and threw them somewhere and put on the Dark Brotherhood boots. Even the improved boots I stole from Vex weren't as good as these babies. I slid on the gloves, hood and body armor as well. I would keep robes for when I needed to do more spellcasting, but I figured the best defense would be not to be seen or heard. I walked into the next room and the members of the guild were talking. Out of the crowd I picked up that Nazir was the Redguard. "So you're the newest member of our dwindling, dysfunctional family." "Hi," I said, not sure what to make of these people. Thievery I could understand, but killing was something I'd always needed to do, or did for a purpose. But killing for the sake of killing? Wait, do we get paid for this? "I give you three days before you're dead. Just like all the others," Nazir said. "Got work for me?" "Straight to the point. I like it. I have three," Nazir folded his arms, "I'll have more coming in from time to time to be completed at your leisure. They're not going anywhere." "People pay us for this, right?" "Oh yes. Sometimes exorbitant fees," Nazir handed me the dossiers, "Not these. These are cheaper ones. Gotta get your feet wet first." Well, alright then. As I turned to leave I noticed the guild members had already scattered to their own devices. I walked to a set of stairs to try and see if any one of them had any tips, or training advice, or whatever. But I found pause. There was a strange pounding in my head, like a chant that stopped me in my tracks. My vision began to blur. Something was streaming from a wall nearby and I felt inexorably drawn to it. I stepped forward, the chanting beating in my ears like thunderclaps. Runes. Ancient runes were written on this wall. One set in particular, I could feel energy, knowledge pouring into me. My skin covered in goosebumps and I felt a sudden exultation, like a heroic song playing in my heart. A tear came to my eye as the energy faded. Then there was silence. "Krii...?" I said to myself, like I had learned something, but I had no idea what it meant. If I had gained anything, I had no way to access this knowledge. I turned to Nazir, who'd been staring at me the whole time. "You...okay?" He asked, "You started acting weird." "I guess?" I asked, "Ever experienced something weird with this wall?" "No, not really. It's just a wall with some runes on it. Pretty standard for ancient nord ruins. This place was built inside of a small tomb," Nazir replied. I got up and walked out, not sure what had just happened. Astrid was standing in the entryway again. "Got the contacts. Be back in a few days," I said. "Good luck," she said back, "Hey, before you go, want to learn a new skill?" "Sure," I said sheepishly. "Let's go to the bed in the next room." "Ah, that kind of skill," I smirked. "Well, it is easy to get a woman distracted during sex. You can capitalize on this and take her out," Astrid replied. "I know how to do this already, but, practice makes perfect," I smiled. So, you know, we did the sex. When we were done she said, "If you want to practice on a man, you can go talk to Arnbjorn, my husband." I raised an eyebrow, "You'd be okay with that?" "Of course. I have sex with quite a few people during missions. It's just business," she said as she got her clothes back on. I walked down to what looked like a forge where Arnbjorn was working. A big meaty Nord man. "What do you want, beef roast?" He spat, not looking up from his work. I stood there. Very threatening. I smirked a little, finding myself interested. Wanting to ask the question I was about to even more. "You're a new recruit. I'm not going to bother learning your name now. If that's all, go away," he said, hammering. "Why're you so mad?" I spat. "Look. If you're trying to get to know me - don't. I don't like you, and I never will. It's nothing personal. But... My wife trusts you, and I trust her judgment. So you can't be all bad. Here's all you need to know: I'm a werewolf. I like killing things. I love Astrid. I hate annoying people. And the color blue gives me a headache." A werewolf? Strangely enough, that had me even more intrigued. I'd never seen one in the flesh before. "Astrid said you could teach me something," I said, like I didn't know what I was asking. Maybe the innocent act would entice him like a little lamb minding its own business. He grinned, showing his teeth more than anything, "Okay. Turn around." He was finally watching me as he talked. I did what he asked. He grabbed my hips and pulled down the brotherhood pants, touching my butt, "This what you had in mind?" "I figured you'd teach me how to kill a man while fucking him," I smiled sweetly. He blinked, "You do know what I am." "Yes." "Alright," he said, with a growl I felt something enter me. Luckily, nobody else was in the big common room. He was rough and we made some noise. When we were done, I left. It was time to ride my horse back to Riften. I rode as fast as I could, doing my best to make good time, and reached it in the middle of the night on Loredas. I slept in the guild bunkroom until Sundas morning. I fenced with Tonilia and Ra'skaar then I reported in. "Morning, lass," Brynjolf said, "News from Gulum-Ei?" "Karliah," I said between him and Mercer Frey and that seemed to do it. Also distracting them from the fact that I'd not given one whit of information about the sneaky argonian. "She said meet her where it all began," I continued. "Snow Veil Sanctum," he said, "This time, the two of us are going together." I peered at my map really quick, "Hmm... I guess it's on the way..." Between Windhelm and Winterhold. "Then it's settled, I'll meet you there," Mercer said. I popped topside for a few minutes to go to Mistveil Keep. "My Jarl, what does it take to be named a Thane of the Rift?" I asked. "Members of the community will need to vouch for you. At least five," Jarl Laila replied, "And if you take care of the Skooma ring around here, It wouldn't hurt your chances." "Okay, where should I investigate?" "Try the docks," Anuriel, the steward said from beside her. I asked myself if I had time for this. I hefted my pack full of packrat garbage that I'd been accumulating since I came to Skyrim. I looked through various poisons, potions and different types of skooma. I eyed Leaf Skooma, which increased the speed and stamina of the imbiber, but was highly addictive. I'm pregnant. Can't do that. So I put the bottle away. No matter, I would need to use the natural drug to drive me forward: adrenaline! I clenched my fists, ready to take on the challenge of: BECOMING THANE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE! Okay. Five people. Skooma drug ring. I AM SPEED! I sprinted to the marketplace. "Hey you! Yeah you!" I shouted, "You need help?" At no one in particular. "Bring me ten fire salts," Balimund said. I dumped the contents of my pack on the ground and fished out fire salts, counting up to ten, "Done. Vouch for me." "Thanks!" Balimund shouted back, using them to light his forge even hotter. "Who else needs help?" I shouted. Ingun Black-Briar spoke up, "I could use some alchemical ingredients." I threw an armful of alchemical garbage at her, "DONE! VOUCH FOR ME!" "Thanks?" Ingun replied, "Oh hey, some of this is what I needed." "Next!" Talen-Jei said, "I could use three flawless amethysts." "May as well just ask for gold. Here!" I chucked a sack of gems at him, "Vouch for me." "Well, I would take money," Snilf, the beggar said. I squinted at him. I wondered if a beggar would count for this purpose, "Screw it. Done!" I shouted as I threw a sack of 100 gold at him. "One more!" I shouted. A man said back to me, "Would you stop screaming? I could hear you clear from the stables. I have half a mind to knock you out." I raised an eyebrow. Would punching this guy set me back, waste time, or propel me forward. "100 gold says I can beat the pants off you!" I shouted back at him. "Deal!" He was the stablemaster, Hofgrir Horse-crusher. I crouched and by the time he'd put up his dukes, I was already laying into him. I clocked him on the back of the head seventeen times, sending him to the street. "To the docks!" I shouted as I sprinted away. "But... your money?" He shouted as I ran. "Greet ~" Wujeeta started. But I shouted over her, "Do you know anything about a Skooma ring?" "Uh... well, I'm addicted to Skooma. I'm going to lose my job ~" "Stop. Tell me exactly what I need to solve your problems," "A healing potion." "Done," I handed her my worst healing potion, "Where do you get your supply? Say it! Say it fast!" I got uncomfortably close to her. "Talos Bones!" She yelled, "Sarthis Idren. He has some sort of a setup over at the Riften Warehouse. You can't get inside though. They've kept that place locked up tight since the war began." I went back to the Jarl, "Found the Skooma. In the warehouse." "Here's the key! Deal with it!" She said, throwing a key at me. I caught it on my way out the door. I drew my crossbow and started firing into the crowd of unsuspecting men, "Do not underestimate the power of an expecting mother who's on a timetable!" When they got close, I pulled out sword and dagger and finished them off, "You won't poison my babies with your skooma!" They were all mowed down quickly, then I traveled back to Mistveil Keep. "Here's the information on the Skooma ring and I helped Snilf, Ingun, Balimund, Talen-Jei, Wujeeta and ... maybe Hofgrir?" Laila Law-Giver blinked, "You were gone like, ten minutes." "Thane? Thane now??" I asked. "Now you need to go get the Skooma den," the steward said. I sighed, "Cragslane Cavern... it's on the way to Snow Veil Sanctum. Which is on the way to the College of Winterhold." It was still morning. Could I do two dungeons with travel time in one day? Best not zone out for this travel and actually get on my horse and book it.

Hey, it's me, Destana. After my second trip to Solitude, I felt like I could take on all of Nirn. I figured I could scope out Windhelm, do a smaller amount of crime, and go back to Riften and finally get somewhere with the Thieves' Guild. I cut straight through the wilderness, as is my way. You know, nature is beautiful. The peace. The solitude. Miles away from civilization. Nobody to tell you you're wrong. Nobody can find you. I remember being on a cliff in a forest somewhere outside of Windhelm when a hand appeared on my shoulder. "I've been looking for you," the man said. "Talos!" I shouted as an expletive, turning and putting my hands on my weapons, "Who are you? How did you find me?!" "Got something I'm supposed to deliver - your hands only," the man said. "How the..." I stood there puzzled, "Are you a bounty hunter?" "I just told you I'm a courier," he mumbled, "Let's see here..." "I've got a letter and a lot of gold. Something about it being your inheritance? Oh, and... sorry for your loss," he handed over the letter. I took it. While he walked away, I stared at him, at the letter, and back to him. "....What??" I said to myself. I ripped open the letter. It read, 'Destana, by order of Jarl Balgruuf the Greater it is with great regret we inform you of Octava San's death. The deceased bequeathed unto you a measure of inheritance in the amount of 250 gold pieces....' Blah blah blah, I trailed off as I read. "But how in the hell did this courier find me, and know who I was. And why would my former owner bequeath such a large amount of gold to me?" I said out loud. I was a nobody. Clearly the Courier was a master tracker and real hunters and guards could learn something from him. Also, it was nice that Octava gave me this money. I looked at it in my hand. Being an adventurer, it was logical she had a will. I felt myself wondering if she had a family, or a home, or someone to love. Why throw your life away in a life like this? I mean, I'm doing it, even now that I have a place to live. So, I can't really say much about it. I walked down the road a few more miles, nearly there now. Coming to the top of another hill, I found an Orc standing there. "You... you a bandit or something?" I asked. Damn, I probably should've snuck up on him or shot him with an arrow or something. "I am waiting for a good death." "I can respect that, I guess. What do you mean by a good death?" "If I just laid down and died, it wouldn't please Malacath." "Okay," I smiled a little. I immediately liked this guy, "I can understand the want to die honorably. Maybe I can help you. Give you your good death." "We shall see," he smiled. "Before that though, want to feel the touch of a woman one more time?" I smiled big now. His eyebrow raised a little, "Why not. You're pretty good looking." "Only pretty?" He chuckled. It was easy. Immediate alchemy between us. We smiled at each other, taking off our clothes quickly. He picked me up and held onto me as he thrusted. I felt like I needed rehabilitation from my experiences with prison and slavery. And that was it. Good sex. Good love. We redressed. "Now how do you want to do this?" I smiled as I drew my sword and dagger. "Help!" A woman screamed nearby, down the hill. We rushed toward the commotion. Two bears, baring down on a traveling wench and her bodyguard. The 'old' orc rushed in first, me switching to my bow. As he fought out in front I lodged arrow after arrow in the bears. I was amazed at how much punishment he could take. We finished off the bears. "Thank you. You saved our lives," the wench said, continuing on her journey. I squinted at the orc. Had he not let his life be taken because he wanted to protect us? Was he just too much of a badass to be taken down by a few measly bears? He was slowly walking up the hill now while the ladies walked down. I approached the Orc silently, stabbing him in the back. Sorry, I never said I was honorable. He fought bears and sabre cats recently, he was slashed up as hell. Seemed pretty good to me. He fell to the ground. I stabbed his sword in the dirt. I wonder if Orcs have any sort of rules for being buried to make it to the afterlife? I continued toward my goal, finally reaching the gates of Windhelm after a couple days of travel. I immediately found two nords accosting a dunmer as the sun set. Accusing her of being an imperial spy. Not really my problem. First thing, my job. I pulled the massive tome that was my rapidly filling quest log and book of maps from my backpack and slammed it down on a stone outcropping. I always wondered if carrying this thing was going to give me back pain later in life, but I assumed my big boobs just offset the difference, altogether giving me strong meaty legs. My target: Stands-In-Shallows. Steal a ring from him. Okay, sure. I looked at the map of Windhelm, and it made sense that he would be at the Argonian Assemblage, that name being distinctly Argonian. I walked down to the docks. Passing through the seedy part of town where all the non-Nords lived, I started to wonder if all Skyrim was just as cruel as Solitude. Maybe the Jailer made his rounds here too. I took out a big, thick quill and scribbled on the first page of my quest log "Kill the fucking Jailer." Then I closed it again. I went through the motions, as always. Go in the door. Sneak. Walk up behind target. Take thing out of pocket. Be tempted by other stuff in pockets. Today, decided not to press my luck. Now that job is done, look around for anything valuable. This time I didn't find anything. Nothing worth taking. These people must be really bad off. I decided to stroll around, even though it was getting late. Beside a locked shop I spied an interesting sign, 'Pit Fighters Guild.' Interested in more ways to make money, and finding it one of the few places not closed in these parts, I stepped in and down a set of stairs. A man rested against the doorway, one of his eyes white after having been slashed through or somehow destroyed from some old war or battle, "Come here to mock us or do you want to fight in the pits?" I shrugged, "Why not. Does it pay?" "Of course. Talk to Sirollus." Inside the few members of the pit fighting guild were training with dummies, shooting archery targets, some were sleeping or having a late evening meal. I turned the corner to find an imperial sitting at a desk, "Come to join the last vestiges of the paladins?" I nodded. "Very well. Talk to Gerich when you're ready to fight," he pointed to the man who'd greeted me at the door. I turned and there he was. "No fights scheduled at the moment. I'm going to sleep," Gerich said. When I turned I realized everybody had gotten in their beds and was now asleep. I squinted. These people make this so easy. Even Sirollus was now fast asleep after only a couple minutes. I looked at the full coin purse on the table where he'd addressed me originally. 'Hmmm...' I thought, 'the people here don't seem to be doing too well.' I decided against what I was thinking. I walked out. Maybe they'll be more lively next time I stop by. I turned to find a beggar (maybe a little older than me, not old or haggard) named Angrenor. "Here," I reached out my hand, "Have a septim." "Oh thank you," he responded. You know, there's a real problem in this province. On that cold night, I thought to myself one day I may be in a position to do something about it. But not that day. From there I wandered around for a bit. Happy to be out of the gray quarter with all the muck and sadness, I went about picking locks and stealing valuables. This time, without any kind of contract. I just like stealing. Not from the gray quarter people of course, from the other side of town. After not getting caught yet again for a couple hours, I found myself on a bridge. A child said, "Then it's true. Aventus Aretino is performing the Black Sacrament to summon the Dark Brotherhood?" Idesi, a dunmer woman responded, "Nonsense. He's doing no such thing." "Then I'll invite him out to play," the kid said. I didn't approach. I didn't even listen to their conversation further. Rather, I decided this was a good time to look into the nearby house. Again, barely locked. "Sweet mother, sweet mother..." A child's voice came from within. I remember some of the kids in my neighborhood playing such games, wishing death on some of the more nasty adults. I stepped inside to find... in shock, the child had actually drawn a huge symbol on the ground, had a human skeleton and ... was that meat human? Where does a child get - "Finally! I knew you'd come!" "Uhh..." I smiled weakly. "Now that you're here, you can fulfill the contract!" "Contract?" "My mother, she died. I was at the orphanage in Riften. I want you to kill that horrible matron. Grelod the Kind. She's cruel and evil." "Uhh... sure kid," I smiled again weakly, backing slowly out the door. As soon as I shut the door behind me I thought about it. Why would I kill the matron of an orphanage. Surely, this kid was exaggerating. Probably a spoiled child by the look of his house. The Dark Brotherhood is bad news. But are they real? I was never really sure about that. Best not tempt fate. And I only usually murder if I have a good reason. Having had enough of robbing for the day, I decided I would go to the Gnisis Cornerclub. Unfortunately, this didn't seem to actually be an Inn, so I went to Candlehearth Hall instead. Realizing I still had the Lute in my pack, I said to the bar wench, "I'd like to play here." "Sure," she said. I strummed a little bit on rhythm and people loved it. People got dancing. They gave me a few coins, and a free room. So, I guess I'm a bard now. I'll need to actually practice as I travel and get better at this. Not the worst sidejob I've had. And, because I was a little lonely, I made a friend in the Hall. 'Friend' is a little strong. Acquaintance who I let put his penis in me is more apt. In the morning, I went back to the Pit Fighter's Guild, who now had a fight for me in Windhelm. I signed up, practicing my stealth and fighting tactics until it was time. Later that morning, I stepped out onto a small, shabby arena with nary a soul watching me. It wasn't too hard. I had to kill a skeever; which I've been doing since I took that exterminator job back in Hammerfell, a wolf; who'd I'd killed a couple of in the wild. But then, a troll. I did my usual dance, crouching behind an object, waited for him to come out and I stabbed him with my sword and dagger combo. The Dragon's Oath burned him a little, but this one hit back! He slugged me in my side with his fists and I backed off. This would be harder than the basic animals. I took a swing and backed off when he swung back. This tactic worked a few times and I figured I'd have this in the bag before long. Then I noticed his wounds were closing - quickly. I sighed, taking out my bow as I strafed him around a couple things. When he finally closed the distance again I laid into him with sword and dagger, thinking I would overcome his regeneration with swift damage. Finally I got the upper hand and I sliced him across the belly, spilling his intestines on the ground. He dropped, and I sighed in relief, feeling pretty hurt at this point. I casted the basic healing spell I'd learned from perusing random books as we walked back to the Pit Fighter's HQ, then collected my winnings. "50 gold? Really?" I sighed. If this is how honest people make their living count me out. I almost died. I walked out of there right away. This would not entice me again until I was waaaay better at combat. Lastly, I walked up to the Hall of Kings. The guards didn't have any problem with me walking right in. Maybe 'adventurers like me' were often seen walking through these doors. Or maybe the stories that Ulfric shouted High King Torygg to death were true and he didn't need a big guard retinue. A long hall opened before me. Ulfric Stormcloak sat on a throne, flanked by his steward and a warrior in a wolf hood, Galmar. They stared at each other, like they'd just finished a heated discussion about tactics, or politics, or somesuch meaningful banter. As I approached, Ulfric said, "You're a brave one, approaching a Jarl uninvited. What do you want?" I cleared my throat. I wasn't always the confident person I am now about speaking with high ranking people. After all, I'd spent some time in dungeons because of people like him, "I came here to join your cause. I don't like the Empire. I hate the Thalmor." "Why would a Redguard want to fight with Nords?" Galmar asked. "See, that's what gives me pause. I'm not just a 'Redguard.' My name is Destana. I live in Skyrim, for the time being anyway. I like Nords. They're a proud warrior people. I think you have a huge untapped resource in your lands of the Dunmer, Bosmer, Redguards, and everybody else who'd want to live in a free Skyrim. Or, at the very least, hate the Thalmor and want to kill the lot of them. I'm one of Talos' biggest fans and I want to see him worshipped, so if you'll have me, I would fight for you." A smirk crept onto Ulfric's face, "Destana, eh? Galmar. Test her. I want this one in our ranks, but she's got to show us more than convincing words." Galmar muttered something about 'Imperial spies,' then he said, "Alright. Take these. Go to Serpentstone Isle. Kill an Ice Wraith." I squinted at him as I took the frost resist potions, "Do all your recruits have to do jobs like this?" "Just you," Galmar chuckled. "Right," I said, "I'll do it." And I stormed out of there. Of course, I definitely was in no shape to make that journey yet. I would go back to Riften and build up my skills for a while with more Thief work. "Oi, Vex, you know whatever happened to that cheeky new recruit we sent on all those crazy jobs?" Delvin asked. "Well, I've pretty much given up on the lass doing the beehive job. Need to find someone else willing to do it. Vex?" Brynjolf kicked his feet up on the table. "No way. Tried it once. Not going again," Vex shook her head, "You think maybe we were too hard on her?" Delvin blinked, "I don't think I've even seen you show any such compassion." And then I approached the table they were all sitting around next to the bar at the Ragged Flagon. I set down gold, jewels, precious objects on the table between them. "Wow," Brynjolf grinned. All the thieves guild in the flagon gathered around. "You owe me 200 gold," Tonilia said to Vex as she approached, "She came back." "I didn't do all the jobs. But I did most of them. Also, I need a fence," I said, pulling the Imperial Dragon Cuirass over my head and laying it in front of Tonilia, as well as the Gauntlets, Boots, and all the random things I'd stolen. I'd left myself naked above the waist, but I didn't care. "Talos! This is a king's ransom! Where did you steal it from?" Brynjolf asked. "All over," I replied. "Oi, are those scars new?" Delvin asked. "Yes," I said, "Also, could I get another set of Thieves' Guild armor?" Tonilia smirked, "It's going to take me a couple of days to fence all this. If you don't mind waiting, I can get you a new set of armor in the meantime." I nodded, sliding those clothes on that I'd stolen from the farmer, "I'm going to sleep for... a few days." I walked to the small bunkroom and immediately collapsed on the bed to the right. It was midday, but I slept all the way until the next morning. I went and got my armor from Tonilia and went back to bed for another day. The night of the third day, I was awoken by the sounds of conjuration magic. I flipped in the bed to look at him, a man standing over my bed in bound armor and greatsword. "You here for me?" I shouted, hands on weapons. I'd slept with them at my side, remembering the mentions of bounty hunters. "Pay your fine or come with me to jail," the bounty hunter said. "How did you find me?" "If you can't tell, I'm a spellcaster. A simple locate spell," he showed a toothy grin, "And I followed the smell." I would need to look into learning more about magic later. The first thing I did was leap from the bed, pulling my weapons with me and dart into the next room. I ran down the hall and into the flagon where, as it was midday, a half a dozen thieves were relaxing around the bar and tables. The quick ones could see my astonishment as I drew my bow and rounded. The hunter hadn't immediately gave chase. Instead, I heard more sounds of conjuration. Arius the bounty clearer, Vex, Delvin and Tonilia were on their feet at once, drawing weapons (the barmaid merely stood, perplexed). Three bounty hunters and entire guild of thieves met at the crossroads by the door to the Cistern. I could already hear their weapons clashing. I drew an arrow and shot into the fray, then a couple more, but it proved hard to hit my targets as they dodged and thrusted at their opponents. I decided to drop the bow and charge into the fray. Brynjolf and Ra'skaar (the new fence) emerged from the other bunkroom, flanking and then dividing the bounty hunter boss from his two companions. I crouched, bided my time and as soon as Delvin and Vex had hunter 2 occupied I came up behind him and jammed sword and dagger into his back, lifting him off the ground a little. His bound armor vanished and he fell to the ground. Soon Galathiel the face changer stepped in to support Tonilia and Vekel with magic as they continued their fight with hunter 3. This one wasn't going to let me get the drop on him, but at the point it was six on one. He got a staggering blow off on Vekel, knocking him down, but the group's continued onslaught brought him down. Vekel and Tonilia embraced as their opponent's armor vanished and he crumpled. Finally I joined the defenders (Brynjolf and Ra'skaar) in the big bunkroom along with Methridel, a woman I'd never seen before. Ra'skaar fell to the ground as we entered and Bryn looked pretty bad. (Seriously, who are these guys?) I took out my bow and shot the hunter a couple times while Methridel fought, and he seemed to be casting a quick restoration spell to heal himself, but soon the rest of the thieves poured into the room, dogpiling on the bounty hunter and eviscerating him. I sat on the floor against a wall as we all caught our breath. It took a dozen people to beat those guys. After a second I realized I'd been hyperventilating about the prospect of going back to prison. "I would be toast without you guys," I said finally. "Mess with a guild member, mess with us all," Delvin nodded, "Curse be damned." Brynjolf helped me up, "All eyes are on you, lass. Best get to that job." There was a great cheer and they all walked back towards the flagon to get hammered. I checked the packs of the now naked hunters. Blah, probably all conjured stuff. "Wow," I said, pulling Stalhrim and Ebony Arrows, hundreds of gold and for some reason, about thirty pounds of sweet treats out of their packs, as well as some decent spell tomes. I sighed in relief. For certain, this was the point when I decided it was Thieves' Guild for life. Next: Goldenglow Estate and Whiterun!

Hey, it's me, Destana. Ongoing recount of some of the more interesting stories from my travels in Skyrim. I showed up to Riften to try and join the Thieves' Guild on a friend's suggestion. "Halt!" The first gate guard said. He looked at his buddy, though I couldn't tell his expression through the helmet. "Yes?" I asked. "Dressed rather shabbily, aren't you? Are you some kind of prisoner or something?" He asked. "No. Just poor. Trying to get into the city. Let me in?" I asked. "Nah. Go around to the back gate. We can't be seen letting in just anyone." I raised an eyebrow, "Okay." I said. I would later learn they made a few jokes, then immediately asked to 'take a pee break.' So I went around back. No problems here. Two more gate guards, and another guard approaching me rapidly. It was hard to tell who these guys were under their dumb-looking helms. "Good morning!" I shouted nervously. "Halt!" "Of course..." I sighed. "I need to do a full body search. To..." The third guard started, "Make sure you don't have any contraband." I pursed my lips, "That makes sense. Although... where would I hide it?" On the bright side, though, I had managed to get inside the city. I remember being led to the Riften dungeons. I walked past a opulently dressed man... and a blue catman who seemed to be talking to himself (I decided to steer clear). The guard patted me down quickly. He asked me to turn around, patting me down again. I remember hearing the sounds of booted feet entering the room while it was happening. At the time it didn't really mean anything to me. "I'm going you to undress," the guard smirked, well I assume he did anyway. Still couldn't see his face. I blinked, "Look, I'm not carrying anything. If you want a look..." Gods, feeling really horny right now... "...I guess I don't mind," I finished. I pulled off my brown burlap sack looking shirt and turned to find about five guards just lounging about the room. "Is this a show now?" I smiled, "How much do I get to charge?" They laughed raucously, one of them shouting, "Tell you what. Entry into the city." "Meh," I shrugged, then covered up my boobs as bargaining chips, "Tell me where the Thieves' Guild does business. Then it's a deal." "Ohoho!" One of the others shouted, "You a thief? Am I going to have to arrest you later?" "Just an aspiring one. How bou tit?" I chuckled. The guard doing the searching pulled at the rope around my pants, letting them fall. He pulled a hand away from my boob and cupped it gently, "Everyone gets a touch. THEN it's a deal." Surprisingly, they weren't giant jerks about it. They got to put their hands on me and didn't push it any further. I did say something in there about being repeat customers (not that I'm a prostitute, just that maybe we could be better friends after I get established). They sent me to talk to Maul. "Are you Maul?" I asked, the man leaning against a pillar near the front gate. "Yeah, who're you?" (SL Arousal message: Destana arousal level 99) I didn't say anything for a few seconds. I could barely focus. "Want a blowjob?" I spat. "Uh... sure?" He replied. "Over there," I pointed to a place out of sight, around the corner. "I really shouldn't. I'm on watch for Maven." "Where is she?" I asked, "Also, who is she?" "She's back at the manor right now. She's..." I put my finger on his lips. "She's not here, though," I replied, "How about just around the corner behind those barrels where you can see out, but nobody can see me?" See, I'm smart AND persuasive. "Ehh... ok," he acquiesced. I knelt, "Go ahead and say what you were going to say. I'll be down here." And then I started. You might think I'm pretty loose. But, I mean, a girl has to find something to do while she's on a ship for months at a time. Men have needs. And so do I. Speaking of which, I decided I would help myself to my own hand down the front of my sack pants. "What's your name by the way?" "Mmmf... Destana." "Nice to meet you," he replied, "She's kind of a kingpin around here." "So I'm interested in the Thieves' Guild," I said, then returned to what I was doing. I know how to use my hands while I talk. "You should... talk to Brynjolf," he groaned, emptying on my face and chest. A few seconds and I was done with myself. That was easy. "Thanks dude," I stood, "Maybe we can do this again sometime." "Uh... yeah," Maul said, dazed. It was then that I decided I would wash my face before I found Brynjolf. When I found him, he set me on a simple task: plant a ring. I want to say it was a funny story, but honestly, it went off without a hitch. I've been accused of having really fast hands, even before I got any training. Next, he told me to find him in the Ratway for more jobs. I followed the guards' suggestions and went into the sewer in the most conspicuous 'stay away, there's a ghost' note, and wound up in the Ragged Flagon. By this time it was around midnight and I decided I would take what scratch I had and get a bite and take a nap. Nobody seemed to want to interact with me unless I had somebody vouch for me, which I was working on, but I was able to get what I needed. The next morning I found Brynjolf in the Cistern and he gave me his spiel. Three jobs. The funny thing is - I barely remember doing those jobs. Just that they worked out pretty easily. I smashed the man's pottery to intimidate him. The innkeeper is threatened with information from her friend. Haelga at the bunkhouse just payed up right away. Maybe I was a little heavy handed when I smashed the dude's thing. But it got the point across! Anyway, back to the guild. I turned in and Tonilia gave me armor. (Thank the gods. I threw the sack cloth into a random chest in the guild). Brynjolf introduced me to Mercer, and I was welcome in the guild. With a paycheck! Now, it was time for my first official job. Burn bee hives, extortion, etc. "Hey Vex, what you think'o this new arrival?" Delvin asked. "Trust her about as far as I could throw her," Vex said. Delvin chuckled, "How's about we play a little prank on her?" Bryn suggested I talk to Vex, who now had jobs for me. Me, being the entrepreneur I was decided to take all the jobs. "Burglary? Solitude. Heist? Solitude. Shill? Morthal. Sweep? Uh... Solitude," Vex laughed under her breath. I shook my head. It was going to be a long trek. "Oi, you walk away without taking jobs from me, you're asking for trouble. Money's still on the table," Delvin smiled. "Alright, what you got?" I asked eagerly, trying to hide my frustration. "Numbers? Morthal. Fishing? Windhelm." "Goddammit..." I said under my breath. "Bedlam? Markarth," Delvin smiled. But, smiling, desperately seeking acceptance (and money), I said loudly, "I'll do them all!" I walked up to Velkin, bought as much food and waterskins as I could carry and prepared to walk across all of Skyrim. Side Notes

"The Millennium Falcon was stolen Six times and now Han is there to complete the steal circle" Part 2: http://www.loverslab.com/blog/407/entry-5003-chapter-37-the-steal-circle-22/