I wish …
My Prince and dad Boss didn’t arrive home before noon as they should in Friday. When Mister “XXX” departure, Boss called few business friends who live in capitol and they meet for lunch. My Prince called me and Ivy and he explained why they will come later than planned. I haven’t had a problem with it. At first. But when my hormones started to wild and my baby gave me hard time making me breathless and my body hurt, I started to think negatively and I felt into depression. I felt I want to die. Although my Prince is highly responsible and caring, never failed me and Ivy I started to doubt that he will be near me when I will need him most. I felt deep incredible sorrow and disappointment. I started to cry very heavily. My midwife Elena couldn’t comfort me and she gave me light tranquilizer. When my Ivy came home I didn’t feel any better. On contrary. It started again and I was comfortless. She denied everything I said against my Prince and his failing me. Deep in my heart I knew I was talking nonsense and being stupid, but I couldn’t help it. If anyone was there for me, loving me and caring for me it was him, but I fell too deep into the abyss of despair. My Ivy stayed with me all the time, holding me in her arms, kissing me and cuddling me. As the time passed my despair turned into the anger toward him and dad Boss.
When they arrived home, I asked my Ivy to help me stand on my feet and I rushed toward them waddling like penguin. My Prince walked toward me having his arms stretched to hug me and smiling widely being happy to see me. Instead of kissing him and hugging him I slapped him very hard. Everyone was in shock. I yelled at him that he is irresponsible and that he doesn’t love me and the baby as he “pretends” he does. My, god. I stubbed the knife straight to his hear. He was very shocked hearing me saying it and when dad Boss interfered saying that he apologize and that it was his fault they were late and if he knew I was in need for my husband, they will come home earlier. I verbally attacked him too. My Ivy and Elena tried to calm me down. My Prince told him that all is fine and that it is not his fault. Then he told him that it is best for him to leave so the incident wouldn’t escalate. My Prince suffered numerous punches on his chest and face while he was carrying me to the bedroom. He placed me on the bed, laid next to me and hold me in his arms saying he loves me while I swore and yelled. He showered my face with kisses. My Ivy was laying by me on the other side and did the same. Very soon my anger turned to “please-forgive-me” cry. He calmed me saying that there is nothing to forgive and that he didn’t resent me anything. I wished I’d die in that moment how shameful I felt. He comforted me saying that he knows how hard I carry my pregnancy and he will be always with me. And he apologized to me for staying longer than planned. Now, be honest, how many of you will stand the bitchy witch like myself. Pregnant or not, I have no excuse for my reaction. I want you to know this: I love my baby with all my life. I would die for him if I have to, but the pregnancy is what I hate. I wish no future pregnant woman will go through what I am going through.
When I felt better, I called dad Boss and I apologized. He put me on the speaker and I heard mom Boss saying that everything is fine and that they have no hard feelings. Although all went well with my Prince and dad Boss, I wasn’t feel anything better. I hurt two wonderful men and I couldn’t forgive myself. Anyway, my Prince and Ivy were with me all the time trying to cheer me up. I slept only once, but very shortly. The emotional stress exhausted me. later on, when was the time to sleep, I couldn’t sleep. I was burdened and I sobbed non-stop. My Prince remembered what might help me. When we watched “Deadpool” movie we died laughing and since it played on TV, he turned it on. Very soon all negative thoughts and self criticism vanished. We laughed so hard that Synetica joined us watching the movie and she laughed too. So, my luvs did all in their power to help me get out of emotional crises. They showered me and the baby with countless kisses and “love yous”. I slept happily in my Prince lap being only ashamed of how will I look at dad’s Boss face tomorrow at the morning coffee.
After our morning routine, the family gathered. Dad Boss hugged me tightly and kissed me on the cheek saying no words about yesterday’s incident. He and mom Boss behaved as nothing happened. Whenever our looks met, they smiled at me. The rest of the day was as usually except we had a rainstorm followed with South wind. I was surprised that my Prince didn’t went to swim. It’s the type of the weather he likes and he is always out: swimming or jogging. When I asked him why he didn’t go out, he said:
- Princess, I would rather be here with you, holding you in my arms.
He deep kissed me and he made me cry again. No, he didn’t say it because of my words addressed to him yesterday, but because he meant it. I know my Prince. He never lied to me and Ivy and what he said in that moment was sincere. I thanked him. Anyway, When we planned Sunday with our family I told them that I want to spend the day alone with my luvs. I also asked them to not to come for morning coffee. I just want them for myself. Our folks said all is fine and that they understand. So we spend this day together doing everything together. My precious angels made love to me and I was very happy.
My doctor told me something about my pregnancy that I will share with you when the time comes. I hope you had better weekend than us, LL. Wish you all the best.
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