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I wish …


Evaloves4

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My Prince and dad Boss didn’t arrive home before noon as they should in Friday. When Mister “XXX” departure, Boss called few business friends who live in capitol and they meet for lunch. My Prince called me and Ivy and he explained why they will come later than planned. I haven’t had a problem with it. At first. But when my hormones started to wild and my baby gave me hard time making me breathless and my body hurt, I started to think negatively and I felt into depression. I felt I want to die. Although my Prince is highly responsible and caring, never failed me and Ivy I started to doubt that he will be near me when I will need him most. I felt deep incredible sorrow and disappointment. I started to cry very heavily. My midwife Elena couldn’t comfort me and she gave me light tranquilizer. When my Ivy came home I didn’t feel any better. On contrary. It started again and I was comfortless. She denied everything I said against my Prince and his failing me. Deep in my heart I knew I was talking nonsense and being stupid, but I couldn’t help it. If anyone was there for me, loving me and caring for me it was him, but I fell too deep into the abyss of despair. My Ivy stayed with me all the time, holding me in her arms, kissing me and cuddling me. As the time passed my despair turned into the anger toward him and dad Boss.

 

 

When they arrived home, I asked my Ivy to help me stand on my feet and I rushed toward them waddling like penguin. My Prince walked toward me having his arms stretched to hug me and smiling widely being happy to see me. Instead of kissing him and hugging him I slapped him very hard. Everyone was in shock. I yelled at him that he is irresponsible and that he doesn’t love me and the baby as he “pretends” he does. My, god. I stubbed the knife straight to his hear. He was very shocked hearing me saying it and when dad Boss interfered saying that he apologize and that it was his fault they were late and if he knew I was in need for my husband, they will come home earlier. I verbally attacked him too. My Ivy and Elena tried to calm me down. My Prince told him that all is fine and that it is not his fault. Then he told him that it is best for him to leave so the incident wouldn’t escalate. My Prince suffered numerous punches on his chest and face while he was carrying me to the bedroom. He placed me on the bed, laid next to me and hold me in his arms saying he loves me while I swore and yelled. He showered my face with kisses. My Ivy was laying by me on the other side and did the same. Very soon my anger turned to “please-forgive-me” cry. He calmed me saying that there is nothing to forgive and that he didn’t resent me anything. I wished I’d die in that moment how shameful I felt. He comforted me saying that he knows how hard I carry my pregnancy and he will be always with me. And he apologized to me for staying longer than planned. Now, be honest, how many of you will stand the bitchy witch like myself. Pregnant or not, I have no excuse for my reaction. I want you to know this: I love my baby with all my life. I would die for him if I have to, but the pregnancy is what I hate. I wish no future pregnant woman will go through what I am going through.

 

 

When I felt better, I called dad Boss and I apologized. He put me on the speaker and I heard mom Boss saying that everything is fine and that they have no hard feelings. Although all went well with my Prince and dad Boss, I wasn’t feel anything better. I hurt two wonderful men and I couldn’t forgive myself. Anyway, my Prince and Ivy were with me all the time trying to cheer me up. I slept only once, but very shortly. The emotional stress exhausted me. later on, when was the time to sleep, I couldn’t sleep. I was burdened and I sobbed non-stop. My Prince remembered what might help me. When we watched “Deadpool” movie we died laughing and since it played on TV, he turned it on. Very soon all negative thoughts and self criticism vanished. We laughed so hard that Synetica joined us watching the movie and she laughed too. So, my luvs did all in their power to help me get out of emotional crises. They showered me and the baby with countless kisses and “love yous”. I slept happily in my Prince lap being only ashamed of how will I look at dad’s Boss face tomorrow at the morning coffee.

 

 

After our morning routine, the family gathered. Dad Boss hugged me tightly and kissed me on the cheek saying no words about yesterday’s incident. He and mom Boss behaved as nothing happened. Whenever our looks met, they smiled at me. The rest of the day was as usually except we had a rainstorm followed with South wind. I was surprised that my Prince didn’t went to swim. It’s the type of the weather he likes and he is always out: swimming or jogging. When I asked him why he didn’t go out, he said:

- Princess, I would rather be here with you, holding you in my arms.

He deep kissed me and he made me cry again. No, he didn’t say it because of my words addressed to him yesterday, but because he meant it. I know my Prince. He never lied to me and Ivy and what he said in that moment was sincere. I thanked him. Anyway, When we planned Sunday with our family I told them that I want to spend the day alone with my luvs. I also asked them to not to come for morning coffee. I just want them for myself. Our folks said all is fine and that they understand. So we spend this day together doing everything together. My precious angels made love to me and I was very happy.

 

 

My doctor told me something about my pregnancy that I will share with you when the time comes. I hope you had better weekend than us, LL. Wish you all the best.

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:( Oh Eva dear... Your son is a strong baby. He's new to the world but don't worry Prince will show him the things he needs to know and you guys will prove to him soon enough how much you love him. But for now he doesn't know yet that's why he takes over and makes you do those things. What a silly baby he'll soon see with you guys Love.:heart::wink::thumbsup: I'm Glad things turned out ok. You see you do understand and work things out you don't have to worry. :mrgreen::classic_biggrin:?

                                                                                                                                                                                                

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My doctor told me something about my pregnancy that I will share with you when the time comes.

That is like telling someone you have something very important you need to talk to them about, and the shutting off your phone.  ?

 

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9 hours ago, Jayomms said:

:( Oh Eva dear... Your son is a strong baby. He's new to the world but don't worry Prince will show him the things he needs to know and you guys will prove to him soon enough how much you love him. But for now he doesn't know yet that's why he takes over and makes you do those things. What a silly baby he'll soon see with you guys Love.:heart::wink::thumbsup: I'm Glad things turned out ok. You see you do understand and work things out you don't have to worry. :mrgreen::classic_biggrin:?

                                                                                                                                                                                                

> I'm not proud at myself at all. I said to my very dear friend how I'm totally helpless when my hormones extremely wilds. Nothing that I learned helps in those moments.  :(

Btw - did you know that my Prince is the only man I ever slapped in my life? I never dared to slap any man for two reasons: I was afraid they will slap me back and I didn't love them as I love my Prince. I guess I slapped my Prince because I knew he will never slap me back and because he loves me and slapping him was kind of my concern for him out of love. I know it's stupid and immature just like jealousy.  I wish I will never do it again. I wish I will not slap him just as I'm not jealous.

 

> My baby boy is "tired" to be in my womb any more. he wants out and he protest in the way that makes me nervous and my body in pain. :)

Thank you for your wonderful words. Indeed, whenever one of us screws, the other two helps that person. And my loves fights for me and the baby because they love me.

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9 hours ago, Deso561PL said:

Too much stress meh. :(

 

Good things went ok!

Thanks Deso. True, to much stress, but we worked it out. :)

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9 hours ago, dharvinia said:

My doctor told me something about my pregnancy that I will share with you when the time comes.

That is like telling someone you have something very important you need to talk to them about, and the shutting off your phone.  ?

 

??

Well, you've right. that reminds on the story: Mother is taking her 5 years old boy into the town. before they went she told him: "When I do my things, I will buy you ice cream." As soon they arrived into he town the boy constantly asked her: "Have you done your thing? May I have my ice cream?"  She couldn't do anything until she bought him ice cream. The meaning of this little story is: never give promises in advance ... :)

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Well, Eva ; you've got quality people around you for sure. They understood the situation well enough to still behave respectfully and lovingly towards you, in your pregnant state. And you did have the intelligence to realize aftewards what you were doing wrong.

 

Now... if it's true hormones do make your mood wilder than usual during pregnancy ; then it means in a few months you'll have a lifelong opportunity to correct those surges of anxiety. :classic_smile:

On 4/28/2019 at 7:34 PM, dharvinia said:

My doctor told me something about my pregnancy that I will share with you when the time comes.

That is like telling someone you have something very important you need to talk to them about, and the shutting off your phone.  ?

 

+1

 Reminds me about Rusty coaching his friend in Ocean's eleven :

 

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2 hours ago, Tirloque said:

Well, Eva ; you've got quality people around you for sure. They understood the situation well enough to still behave respectfully and lovingly towards you, in your pregnant state. And you did have the intelligence to realize aftewards what you were doing wrong.

 

Now... if it's true hormones do make your mood wilder than usual during pregnancy ; then it means in a few months you'll have a lifelong opportunity to correct those surges of anxiety. :classic_smile:

+1

 

 

> I do have people who loves me as I am and I love them the same. They know it isn't true me. By the way, hormones aren't  only cause of my excessive behaving. It's the pregnancy itself. I belong to very sensitive pregnant group of women. When my body start to sore, and I'm talking about every muscle, bone and joint I'm extremely nervous and emotional, unable to control my reactions. My body isn't prepared for such a big baby in this stage. The baby boy is ready to come out but my body isn't. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. :)

 

>Thanks for a nice words. :)

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