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When soul is broken …


Evaloves4

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Waiting for my luvs to come home yesterday after the work, I made the lunch, went to swim on our beach and listening the soft jazz instrumental I was thinking about my Prince. It’s simply unbelievable what he is going through. I became very emotional when thinking that he will be all alone if he wouldn’t have us, our parents and boss and his wife. I started to cry. I wished he was near me in that moment so I can hold him and kiss him and say how much I love him. Some time soon I had a need for “dose” and I went to the bedroom and I pleased myself with my toys. Then I washed them and I took a long shower. My loves came home very soon after that and I jumped into his arms wrapping my legs around his hips and arms around his neck and I showered him with kisses. My Ivy didn’t resent me for not kissing them both in the same time for she knew what I was doing and why. You see, after the unpleasant encounter with his younger uncle and the phone call from his mother, my Prince withdrew within himself and the sadness that was eating him inside was visible on his face. My Ivy confirmed me that he was doing his job spotlessly but people noticed that he is very quiet, more the usually for he always laughed or smiled or he socialized with others. He was very cheerful unlike these days. So, my Ivy explained to their friends and colleagues what is eating him sending them circular SMS and asking them not to ask him questions.

 

 

Having ruined relationship with his mother and younger uncle isn’t something that my Prince takes easily. He is not conflicted person who doesn’t care if he has good or bad relationship with his blood relatives. But he is also very principal, I would say, slave of his principles that he can’t let injustice go like nothing happened. I took the shower with my luvs and we fucked, but my Prince, although present with body, was absent by mind. And something happened for the first time in Ivy’s and mine life: we couldn’t continue to fuck. We lost desire although we were very aroused. My Prince said to us that he is sorry and he silently left the house to our beach. He jumped into the sea and swam very far from the shore. My Ivy and I felt his pain and we sobbed quietly while watching him swimming. Our parents arrived for the soccer match Croatia vs Argentina. Dads watched the game while we were on the beach with our moms. We told them about Prince’s sadness and our moms cried with us. Suddenly it started to rain and it was very windy, but my Prince didn’t come out of water. Our moms wanted us to return to the house because it was storm but we didn’t want to. We waited until he came out of the water. When he did it we hugged him and kissed him and then we returned home. He took quick shower we exercised in silence and he and Ivy practiced martial arts separately. Our moms just observed and looked at him compassionately. Then he withdrew on the balcony, took the sleeping pill and he slept. Our parents went home after the match. My Ivy and I showered our Prince with kisses and “love yous” before we slept.

 

 

This day was like few last days. Silence and sadness. My Ivy thought she would cheer him up saying that she has new idea for new Skyrim lesson episode, and although she was sitting in his lap while she was taking screenshots, he wasn’t involved into the episode making at all. I helped her with English and she posted using his account. He skipped his morning routine. He was absent in spirit and mind and his soul was broken. We didn’t know what to do and how to help him. When our parents arrived for morning coffee they tried to talk to him but, he just said he can’t talk, he softly apologized and went to the bedroom to dress up for journey to Pola with boss. We hopped that the things will be better when they return, but unfortunately they weren’t. Before they left we kissed him and said we love him. My Ivy and I were both sad the whole day although we did our jobs professionally. My boss and him returned home around 19:00. We were all over my Prince with kisses and hugs although he returned the same to us, we saw deep sadness in his eyes. He went under the shower and straight to the bed. He didn’t even do his evening routine.

 

 

Ivy and I talked to the boss in the meantime who said that he has no complain on him on both meetings and that he did his job spotlessly but he was mind absent, didn’t want to talk to him, and didn’t eat at all. He told us that he had wet eyes most of the time and he sobbed quietly. Boss didn’t force any conversation although he offered his help. We told him what we think it is happening; that the encounter with his younger uncle probably woke up some painful memories on injustice done to his dad and how much he suffered because of his illness. His mother also “added oil on the fire” inviting him on her wedding without us. Boss was very upset and worried and he said that we must call him if his condition/depression gets worse. My Ivy and I exercised after he left and she practiced martial arts. After that we had sex under the shower and she joined to my Prince in the bed kissing him and cuddling him while I took my laptop and wrote this diary to get off the chest the burden we have for my luv. I know he will recover for he is strong. I just wish he doesn’t have go through all this pain and the demons of the past that chasing him on one or another way.

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Prince will get over his cousin being around, considering his criminal past this is temporary, and he probably only wishes to protect you until his cousin leaves again. :classic_angel:

 

Towards his mother however, his link is more profound. And so is the wound of having it broken ; even if it's linked to him having chose you and about her rejecting Ivy and you. If they have no contact, no communication, I don't see their relationship slowly improving, which would be a condition for she to start accepting your atypical way of life. But as long as there is life, there is hope, and so there's still the possibility for one of them just accepting to see each other again without bringing the discord subjects on.  And once communication is, getting her mother to slowly accept his new life might become progressively possible. Of 'course, that's not the moment for it, so he's gloomy ; but some months later, who knows ? :classic_smile:

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but my Prince, although present with body, was absent by mind. And something happened for the first time in Ivy’s and mine life: we couldn’t continue to fuck. We lost desire although we were very aroused

Malicia : « Hmmm, maybe that's because he thinks too much about me, yes. I'll try to hide that I'm the prettiest, strongest and most intelligent girl  when he's around next time. That way you won't get disturbed anymore when going honey-honey, you see ? :classic_lightbulb: »

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5 hours ago, Tirloque said:

 

Towards his mother however, his link is more profound. And so is the wound of having it broken ; even if it's linked to him having chose you and about her rejecting Ivy and you. If they have no contact, no communication, I don't see their relationship slowly improving, which would be a condition for she to start accepting your atypical way of life. But as long as there is life, there is hope, and so there's still the possibility for one of them just accepting to see each other again without bringing the discord subjects on.  And once communication is, getting her mother to slowly accept his new life might become progressively possible. Of 'course, that's not the moment for it, so he's gloomy ; but some months later, who knows ? :classic_smile:

 

That's partially true, at least in Prince's case. I'm not competent and have not enough of life years to opposite it. :)  But, as I said many times, my Prince is very unique and has very unorthodox and unconventional way of thinking and behaving. His relationship with his mom and dad was built on openness and sincerity. So, when he screwed up, his father confronted him and they talked openly. Now, he has been taught that written or voice (phone) apology and remorse worth only if offended or hurt person is not available to meet with offender for very justified reason (heavy illness or very long distance and unavailability to come). Prince's mother knows that she can come to our home ONLY when she truly changed and she "has to" say her remorse in person. My Prince will know that when she does that, she changed. You have read me writing his saying: "If I shit the shit, I will clean the mess". That involve direct and personal confrontation without any type of mediator. Therefore, if she ever change, what we deeply hope, she will come to our door and we'd know she changed. :)

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14 minutes ago, EvalovesEP said:

That's partially true, at least in Prince's case. I'm not competent and have not enough of life years to opposite it. :)  But, as I said many times, my Prince is very unique and has very unorthodox and unconventional way of thinking and behaving. His relationship with his mom and dad was built on openness and sincerity. So, when he screwed up, his father confronted him and they talked openly. Now, he has been taught that written or voice (phone) apology and remorse worth only if offended or hurt person is not available to meet with offender for very justified reason (heavy illness or very long distance and unavailability to come). Prince's mother knows that she can come to our home ONLY when she truly changed and she "has to" say her remorse in person. My Prince will know that when she does that, she changed. You have read me writing his saying: "If I shit the shit, I will clean the mess". That involve direct and personal confrontation without any type of mediator. Therefore, if she ever change, what we deeply hope, she will come to our door and we'd know she changed. :)

That's the « Solve the issue first, then talk » option. Personally, I'm more of the « Talk first, then solve the issue » as I believe in most case you can't solve relational issues if not even talking together. :classic_angel:

Anyway, choosing a good moment for this is important regardless of what happens. I hope that this get cleared eventually. :classic_smile:

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39 minutes ago, Tirloque said:

That's the « Solve the issue first, then talk » option. Personally, I'm more of the « Talk first, then solve the issue » as I believe in most case you can't solve relational issues if not even talking together. :classic_angel:

Anyway, choosing a good moment for this is important regardless of what happens. I hope that this get cleared eventually. :classic_smile:

You my friend doesn't follow my diaries regularly and therefore you missed some important facts. My Prince talked to his mother numerous times without success. Well, there was a small change in her attitude toward us before she met Kurt. They she became religious fanatic. No reasoning with helped and she humiliated us few times and last time when she was with us, she did it publicly. My Prince gave her more then enough time, will, chances, opportunities and whatever he could give her to change and it didn't help. Breaking up any communication with her is to drastic and to radical, but I believe it was needed.  Both sides suffers because of that, but my Prince has a bigger burden on his shoulders: Ivy and me. His love for us doesn't let him ignore mother's insults and humiliations. I think that you already could learn enough about him that he is not a man who will do radical cuts without previous reasoning and talk. When there is a will and wish for the change, he always gives new chances to everyone. ALWAYS!

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? Prince will make it through the passing storm and figure out what to do eventually.? His mom is just soo blinded by worry that she's doing more harm than good. I've seen this before with people their so afraid of going to hell when they die. Especially with all the guilt and regret they feel for the wrong path taken in life. ?

 

The storm you mentioned just reminded me when I was using my grill cooking hamburgers with my youngest nephew's father a few days ago when a thunderstorm hit hard and fast and rained heavily we remained outside in are swimming trunks it was raining so much I grabbed some soap and took shower.? And my nephew's father told my other nephew why we showered and said you gotta learn to live a little.? 

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13 hours ago, Jayomms said:

? Prince will make it through the passing storm and figure out what to do eventually.? His mom is just soo blinded by worry that she's doing more harm than good. I've seen this before with people their so afraid of going to hell when they die. Especially with all the guilt and regret they feel for the wrong path taken in life. ?

 

The storm you mentioned just reminded me when I was using my grill cooking hamburgers with my youngest nephew's father a few days ago when a thunderstorm hit hard and fast and rained heavily we remained outside in are swimming trunks it was raining so much I grabbed some soap and took shower.? And my nephew's father told my other nephew why we showered and said you gotta learn to live a little.? 

He will. We are glad we have a compassionate friends like you. Thank you for your wisdom and thoughts. :)

 

Lol, about the showering using the heavy rain. We never did this. My Prince did, but Ivy and I haven't. You were lucky that the thunder didn't hit any of you. When my Prince swam under the storm we haven't had thunder bolts, but it was very windy and heavily raining. Waves were very high and we were worried ab out him. Thank heavens nothing happened to him.

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