Kolskeggr Mine

 

 

Guard 1 (stretching): Boring Night, Eh Brother? Sometimes I wish the forsworn would actually attack.

 

Guard 2: Praise the Divines, they stay in their hills. Lest they spoil your boredom by splitting your skull.

 

Guard 1: Aye, would be a shame, especially since this skull is so good looking. Speaking of good looking, of all the holds, which Thane do you fancy?

 

 

Guard 2: Of all the holds, only one Thane lights my fire; Rarisa.

Guard 2: The Flame in Solitude is so hot, a mere glance at her makes her flames cool by comparison.

 

 

Guard 1: A fine choice, but magic isn’t really my style. I am smitten by another beauty; skilled with sword and sense. Felicia of Morthal. I escorted her once, through the swamps in Morthal hunting a vampire. The beast charged from behind us, but before I could utter a word…

 

 

Guard 1: !SLINK! Felicia put her sword in it’s throat, stopping the creature mid swing.

 

Guard 1: She then stared at me and said “ Incompetent bastard, stop staring at my ass and start doing your job” I was instantly smitten.

 

 

Unknown Voice: That’s an Interesting Story,...

 

Guard 2: Hello Friend, we’re speaking about the finest Thanes in Skyrim. Which one do you fancy?

 

 

The shield hit the first guard and ricocheted back to the unknown man before either guard could draw their weapons. Guard 1 was out cold.

 

“Sigrun of Markarth” the Unknown Man said as he caught his shield.

 

 

The Unknown man gestured to the remaining guard,

 

Unknown Man: Run and tell Sigrun that the Unbeatable has taken over this mine. If she wants it back, she’ll have to make it from me.

 

The remaining guard ran towards Markarth…

 

Unbeatable: Coward… It’s been too long since I’ve had a good fight.

 

Mournful Throne

 

 

Sigrun: Blessings of Dibella upon you, Jarl Igmund. You sent for me?

 

 

Jarl Igmund: I sent for you 2 hours ago, and only now do you show? We are in a crisis, what took you so long?

 

Sigrun: Apologies, Jarl. Sky Jewel is quite a ways away, and I couldn’t figure out how I wanted to style my hair for today.

 

 

Sigrun knelt before the throne.

 

Jarl Igmund: As if you care how you look. If you truly cared for appearances, you would not be late to meet your Jarl, nor would you threaten bar keeps, nor would you prance naked through the streets of this hold with nothing but a rose. Shameful.

 

Sigrun: Dear Jarl, I can see I offended you. I will not apologize for my aggression towards your citizens and I will not apologize for my prancing. Both were necessary to handle the evil that took hold within the city. But I will, apologize for my lateness for this audience, I can see this current situation deeply troubles you.

 

Jarl Igmund: Forgive me, Sigrun. My anger is not with you but with those useless guards I posted at Kolskeggr Mine. One Guard returned, unscathed, with a challenge for you. The Unbeatable man, has challenged your to take it back from him.

 

 

Sigrun: The Unbeatable?

 

Jarl Igmund: That’s what the guard said, before I had him reassigned to the dwemer museum. With any luck, he’ll press the wrong button and rid us of his incompetence. Also, the sword on your office has been finished. I wanted to give it to you with a bit more ceremony, but I suppose this will do for now.

 

Sigrun: It’s beautiful.

 

Sigrun stood up and began to walk from away from the throne.

 

 

Jarl Igmund: Will you need support, Thane?

 

Sigrun: Save your Guards, Jarl. I’ll take back Kolskeggr on my own. Just don’t hold it against me if I need to menace a citizen or two…

 

Outside Kolskeggr

 

 

Sigrun (To Herself): The Unbeatable...what a cocky name. If it is who I think it is, I’ll have to speak with him about humility...maybe even teach him first hand.

 

 

Sigrun: Forsworn? The Jarl didn’t mention them in his briefing. Better lay low until the patrol gets a bit closer.

 

She ducks into cover behind a tree

 

 

Sigrun: Poor fools, giving up their lives to live like barbarians and eventually be molded into an unholy amalgamation of woman and bird. It’s a mercy to kill them before the crow takes hold.

 

 

Sigrun jumps out from behind her hiding spot with a lunge towards the closest forsworn. Sigrun could see the terror in her face as the woman failed to conjure any sort of resistance.

 

As a final farewell Sigrun said “Divines take you.” As she stabbed her blade into the woman’s head.

 

Sigrun (to herself): At least it was over quickly

 

 

Sigrun dodged backwards as a fireball shot past her. The flame was so intense that she shielded her face. The second Forsworn charged at her conjuring flames for her defense.

 

Forsworn Mage: The Reach belongs to the Forsworn!

 

 

Sigrun swung her sword into the the woman’s back. Dropping the forsworn where she stood.

 

Sigrun: Skyrim belongs to the Nords…

 

The irony of her own statement caught Sigrun off guard for a moment. Her city had been opened up to Elf, Khajiit, and Argonian alike, since the Thalmor established their foothold in Markarth. Sigrun did not like the Thalmor taking over her hold, but, as the Sybil of Dibella, she had a responsibility to help both man and mer find love. She shrugged off her discomfort, vowing to remove the phrase from her speech.

 

 

The remaining forsworn warrior came rushing down the hill towards the fray.

 

Forsworn Warrior: Bodil! Dagmar! Vile Woman, The wilds will crush you!

 

 

Sigrun (whispering): Wuld (Whirldwind)

 

She rocketed towards her attacker stopping just before decapitation. Sigrun pressed her edge into the forsworn’s face.

 

Forsworn (gasping): The Thu’um...She speaks the...

 

Completing her swing, Sigrun ended his sentence for him.

 

 

Sigrun: That was a scouting party. With any luck, that was the last of the forsworn. On to the mine and the Unbeatable...just saying that makes me cringe…

 

Inside Kolskeggr:

 

 

Sigrun: Looks like I was being too optimistic..

 

She squares off against her would be attacker.

 

Deeper Inside Kolskeggr

 

 

Sigrun: I know the forsworn need anything they can get their hands on, but dammit! Can you guys not infest our only gold mine?

 

She easily dispatched the 5th or 6th charging forsworn she’d seen climbing through the depths of Kolskeggr.

 

As if on cue, an archer loosed an arrow towards Sigrun. Hoping to catch her by surprise.

 

 

Sigrun just stared as the arrow closed on her.

 

Sigrun whispered: Fus (Force)

 

 

And the arrow turned around mid flight, back towards the archer.

 

Sigrun: That was lucky… Guess I’m getting better with my voice.

 

She walked up the scaffold.

 

 

Sigrun: This Unbeatable said he would challenge me in this mine, but I’ve only found forsworn. Maybe it wasn’t who I thought it was. I better check the rest of this mine…

 

Distracted by her own thoughts, Sigrun was caught off guard when a figure clad in ebony and dragonbone lept out of seemingly nowhere and swung at her with his shield.

 

 

Sigrun scampered back and took a defensive position as she eyed her opponent.

 

 

The figure stood before her adjusting his shield while glaring at her.

 

Sigrun (to herself): It’s gotta be him, way too talented with that shield. I’ll have to relieve him of it all at once.

 

Sigrun sprung into the air, charging her opponent. She led foot first to batter down his shield and follow up with a quick thrust.

 

 

To Sigrun’s surprise, the Unbeatable sidestepped the blow rather than take it head on. When she landed to counter a quick blow to the chin sent Sigrun reeling...

 

 

Off the scaffold and onto the landing below. The Unbeatable approached the edge of the scaffold and prepared to land the finishing blow.

 

Sigrun: Wuld Nah Kest (Whirldwind Fury Tempest)

 

 

Sigrun shot from the landing up to the platform above her attacker. On the way up, she carved a deep slash into the Unbeatable’s chestplate. While the gash was impressive and would remain on the armor, it was ultimately ineffectual at hitting any vital organs.

 

 

She rubbed her jaw. The sharp pain dulled in her chin as Sigrun evaluated her next move. She could continue to fight on the scaffold, but the bigger man’s stature would put her a disadvantage. Sigrun had to find an more open area. Maybe one of the tunnels lead to a larger cavern. She darted down the tunnel closest to her.

 

 

Much like a dwemer centurion, the Unbeatable barreled after Sigrun down the mining tunnel. The chase lasted for a good 3 minutes until they came upon a hole in the tunnel floor. Knowing this was the end of her run, Sigrun turned to face her attacker and was greeted with a shield to the chest.

 

 

 

Sigrun smashed through the rotting wood and onto the below dirt pile.

 

 

Before she lost consciousness, Sigrun eyed a bound city guard.

 

Sigrun: Thanks for helping…useless...

 

Kolskeggr Miner’s Quarters

 

 

Sigrun awoke to find herself bound and half undressed in a strange bed.

 

Sigrun (to herself): Not the first time I’ve been in this situation, I wonder if…

 

She eyed her attacker...

 

 

Sigrun: Vidar, I can understand the removal of my armor. Dwemer armor can make even the daintiest of lasses cumbersome. But were the leather bindings truly necessary?

 

 

Vidar: Apologies, Sybil. I had to put on a show for the guard you fell in front of. We can’t have prying eyes for our meetings. Like you wrote, I needed to come off as nefarious. I’d say I did a fairly believable job.

 

Sigrun: My jaw and back think you did better than believable...you definitely owe me.

 

 

Sigrun righted herself and examined her surroundings. She was a desolate little room with few amenities. Why the previous inhabitants elected to only include the bare essentials, she would never understand.

 

Sigrun: So why am I here, Vidar? You wrote, and I quote, “Loneliness has overtaken me and my life has ended”. I thought were being overdramatic, but you went through with setting up our meeting. What happened?

 

 

Vidar stood from his chair.

 

Vidar: It’s my wife. She said she can no longer deal with my life as a mercenary. I go out, I risk my life to provide for her and she says it stresses her. Not like I was ever good at anything else. Except for sex, but she’s even grown tired of it. She says until I become more stable, she can’t be around me. I love my wife, Sybil. How can I stay with her?

 

 

Sigrun (to herself): Marriage problems, just what I wanted to hear after getting my ass kicked. Find the love, Sigrun! Find the love!

 

Sigrun: You’ve been a mercenary for a while now, Vidar. When was the last time you were at home for longer than 2 or 3 days?

 

Vidar: Well, it’s been maybe 4 or 5 months.

 

Sigrun: And in that time, did you have any deep and meaningful conversations with your wife? Like why you’re working so hard to provide or future plans you want to achieve together?

 

Vidar: I’m tryin...I’m trying to save enough money for a house in Rorikstead so we can raise a family away from the swamps in Morthal. My wife was always so happy whenever I talked about moving, I just wanted to make it a reality.

 

 

Sigrun: Well Vidar, two things you need to do in this situation.

 

Revealing that she had gotten out of the leather bindings, Sigrun sat up and covered her breasts.

 

Vidar: When did you…?

 

Sigrun: Please, you act like the Sybil of Dibella has never gotten out of a set of bindings before.

 

Vidar: No, I mean, I never took your top off.

 

Sigrun: I know...I did.

 

Vidar: Why?

 

Sigrun: So you’d Listen, Vidar. Your wife wants you to spend time with her. Listen to her day, build shared life experiences. In trying to make her dream come true, you’ve grown distant from her. First thing to do, march right home and spend a week with your wife BEFORE your next job. Next thing to do, be on the lookout for an invitation from me. I’ll start hosting sessions on the Dibellan Arts in a few weeks. Your’s and your wife’s spots are reserved. That should help deal with the sexual problems long term.

 

Vidar (sobbing): Thank you...thank you so much Sigrun! I’ll run and talk with her no..

 

Sigrun: Hold on, I didn’t tell you what we’re going to do in the short term. I’ve still got some energy left after our little scuffle and you look ready for instruction. Let’s try a lotus position.

 

 

Sigrun: Ooohf...very good, Vidar. A little more….ahhh, gently. Remember, thrust from your hips.

 

 

Vidar: Sybil, you’re so…*grunts*...tight. And your breast are so lovely…

 

Sigrun: Flattery may get you far with me...oooh...but you need to...OOOoooOOH, focus on your own skills.

 

 

Sigrun: Here’s something new to try at home. Try thrusting as I come down.

 

 

Vidar: Aaargh, I’m cumming…

 

Sigrun: Oh yes,...come as hard as you can!

 

 

Sigrun: My, would you look at that. Looks like Vidar, the Unbeatable still has a ways to go before he can keep up with Sigrun of Markarth. You ready for more instruction?

 

 

Vidar (hopeful): I can do this, Sybil. I can save my marriage. I’m not sure if any more instruction can help.

 

Sigrun: Then you’re ready…

 

Vidar: Huh?

 

 

Sigrun straddled Vidar and stared deeply into his eyes. Her gaze was almost hypnotic. Vidar blinked as he began to see feathers fall all around him. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this relaxed.

 

Sigrun: You're in a safe place, Vidar. After a fantastic orgasm, you will leave this place and return to your wife. You will never again go 5 months without returning home to your loving wife for longer than a week. Await my next message.

 

Vidar (trance-like): Yes, Ma’am.

 

 

Sigrun: Dibella’s blessings upon you, Vidar the Unbeatable. Rest well, and follow my instructions. I’ve got a city guard to tend too.

 

Inside Kolskeggr

 

 

Sigrun: So here’s the deal “Guard”. You don’t tell anyone about my little fall and I won’t tell anyone about how you had to be rescued by me.

 

 

Guard 1: No deal, Madam Thane. I want all the guards to know about how I was rescued by the sexiest Thane in Skyrim. Beating the Unbeatable like, that, Markarth really has the best protector.

 

 

Sigrun: Yes it does, Guardsman. Yes it does.