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thank you , nice story and lovely pictures of her life , waiting for more  😍

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I'm loving this series, as well as the Bad Ends! I hope we get to see a consensual encounter between Sirrae and a monster!

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I think this was my favorite episode so far. I've enjoyed other aspects of other chapters but rather than enjoying each chapter on its own, I think I'm actually invested in finding out what happens next at this point.

 

Handful of thoughts:
I think the sex with Faendal and Sirrae bathing are some of the nicest shots you've taken of her body. Maybe it's that it is the most consensual and comfortable she's been depicted without clothes on, while the other scenes focus on dark horrible things happening in dark horrible places so these are naturally brighter. So if that was the intent then you did a good job with that. Stylistic or not, deliberate or by accident I think Sirrae looks her best here.

 

 

A bit of a criticism: While you've caught my interest with the mystery of how Sirrae ended up outside of the crypt, her narration feels as though it's a bit too patchy.
It's more unclear than it probably should be how much Sirrae remembers from her time with the Draugr. One could conclude she remembers exactly what she narrates and nothing in-between, which implies she remembers being pulled into the sarcophagus but nothing else until she woke up. But still doesn't reflect on anything that happened within the cave at all, which it feels like she should, if she does actually remember any of it. Even losing your memory from the point a Draugr grabbed your body would probably lead to a lot of alarm bells going off inside her head when she awoke.

And later, with Faendal; I feel as though most of the situation is communicated to the reader, but not quite enough. I can conclude that Sirrae is seducing herself into a warm place to stay the night, but with the exception of PTSD popping up for a moment when Faendal almost cums inside her, her thoughts are a bit too unknowable to the reader. Seems like coming up with the idea of inviting Faendal along would've required at least a bit of internal discussion from Sirrae to reach, and offering more sexual service after the night is over also seems to be more than just impulse so the absence of her thoughts there feel a bit odd.

 

With the Dragur and the possible memory loss, I do like that narrative angle. I like it very much. It's nice for smut to have consequences and in a fantasy setting for those consequences to be mysterious.

It's just, it reads as though the existence of the mystery... is itself too mysterious at the moment.

 

 

 

Once again, I like your depiction of clothing being physical and real to characters, though it would be nice to see other characters react to it more and Sirrae herself to contemplate her state of dress more meaningfully.

And finally, I really like the dynamic between Sirrae and Faendal. The sexual parasitism of the repressed, lonely pervert finally "getting" the girl seems like it'll be really interesting.
The part pity, part obligation, part legitimate affection and large part dependence that seems to motivate Sirrae to tolerate Faendal would probably make him very difficult to manage.

Sirrae growing frustrated as Faendal introduces her as his girlfriend to anyone who asks(and especially anyone who doesn't ask), Faendal pushing for sex so often and with inopportune timing as to slow the party down, Sirrae waking up to being groped, Sirrae compromising when Faendal makes his fourth request for sex in an hour by giving him a handjob, Sirrae having to employ her full seductive power and blow Faendal while describing a quest to him so he'll agree to participate(only after Sirrae promises additional sexual reward as well), Faendal being very insistent on the idea of buying armor for the pair of them with quest reward money only to buy Sirrae a slutty set, then leading to Faendal getting more distracted by Sirrae's body than before...
And so on.

I'm not sure what exactly it is about the pairing of characters you've ended up with, and I have no idea how long you intend to keep them together but in a quest that so far has been a sequence of negative sexual encounters and general suffering, I really like the idea of Sirrae spending some time in a superficially consensual relationship and things going so "well" compared to previous events that it isn't for a significant period of time, until Sirrae; tired from being pressured into having sex again by Faendal, has to give him a blowjob to convince him to hurry up out of bed and get back on the road after Sirrae hears rumors that some stormcloak soldiers will be arriving at the inn soon:
Then, on her knees in front of Faendal for what seems like the millionth time she realizes that her life is practically that of an exclusive whore for an emotionally undesirable and not particularly competent partner. And even worse, that it is the logically best option to continue being an exclusive whore for said partner.

 

Seems like a fun and creative way to drag Sirrae through emotional distress without just dumping her into another corner to be raped again.(Not that those scenes have been bad, but variety is the spice of life after all.)

 

Sorry, I kept ranting for awhile there. I don't mean to suggest or request that these things happen, that's not my place to do. I guess your story has just caught my imagination at this point.

Keep up the good work.

 

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On 4/24/2021 at 10:10 PM, malvic said:

Seems like a fun and creative way to drag Sirrae through emotional distress without just dumping her into another corner to be raped again.(Not that those scenes have been bad, but variety is the spice of life after all.)

Woav, looks like Renferal got quite some feedback here ! +1 About variety (it was interesting seeing her outside of a rape situation ; and the draugr's peculiar speech/fonts kinda made the moment peculiar) ; and +1 about Sirrae/Faendal dynamics at hant. They open for an unclear relationship which can be exploited and transformed in many ways by an author, fueling the reader's curiosity, and entertaining him simultaneously.

 

The fact she awoke outside of the draugr's grasp, and that someone placed her gold and the golden claws in her rags however felt somewhat lazy in terms of scenario ; et her intriguing and later explained seduction and then relationship towards Faendal really made the show.

 

Not going to add too much to all the comments. Nice entry ! :D

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