I'm back.

Havnig resolved what the probable most stable mods for me are, I made a final list and decided to start, again, from scratch, reinstalling the game (after wiping all its directories), starting a new savegame, so as to eliminate carrying over any issues from faultily deployed mods or wrong mods from earlier.

Many of the issues described in the last post have been more less resolved.

The Racemenu issue was caused by my failure to include the Racemenu Special Edition mod, along with the VR version, which is just a dll and an ini, I think, so no wonder it didn't work. It works almost perfectly now, apart from the fact that the character assumes a fairly unnatural pose during the edit, but the face is well visible, so it's no issue. An important note on this (which I haven't noticed in the Nexus post – doesn't mean it isn't there) is that you need to remove the skee64.dll and ini files, in order to avoid a compatibility error. I recommend repacking the mod without these files and only then placing it into your mod organizer. I also did this for the Devious Devices dll which had the same issue, so now I have all the stable mod packages in one directory, and if I want to do a clean build, I can no longer mess it up by dropping in something from LE or a version of a mod that doesn't work.

The Rydin animation issue was, again, my fault, as I was accidentally trying to load the LE version. The SE version works perfectly, so I got rid of the Cobalt pack.

The Prison Overhaul Patched problem is still there, but I noticed there is a debug option to teleport to the prison cell, which breaks the deadlock after being triggered one or two times.

All BDSM animations still result in an uncontrollable headspin, as the one described in the starting scene, it is impossible to enter the free camera mode, yet standard SexLabs sex animations allow the camera to move freely and animations play just fine. I think this is all related to the leash controls of ZAZ, which were probably never designed to work in VR. Right now, I am trying out a fix, that might at least mitigate the issue somewhat. So far, I have only tried to start a new game, the head spin was still there (wagon going off in the distance without me), but this time the spinning speed was much lower, and it was much easier to center the camera out and keep it under control, so I hope the same will happen in the animations (what I am about to try out now). It seems there is no way to switch to 3rd person, as there is no 3rd person mod for VR that I am aware of. So keep your fingers crossed. If you can't wait, you can find this mod in one of the forums here, on a mod called Flower Girls. I found another fix, which is supposed to solve the spin and wagon issue in the starting scene, but I haven't installed that one yet, as I first want to test the other one, in case they interfere with one another.

I also managed to get rid of the annoying everyone wearing a collar phenomenon, which was caused by the SL Fame Framework. In the NPC options, just disable the option for NPCs to wear something. Worked like butter, only I had to start again from a clean save, as it caused a persistent Papyrus log error (reported by SFF).
In this new install, in the Bodyslide studio, I built everything with the "zeroed" preset and it seems to have resolved the issue with the ankle and hands gap, apart from my own body, which I have created in the vanilla character creation (before applying mods, as otherwise I'd get stuck in the air near Helgen, forever, unable to make a clean save), with the weight slider all the way to thin, which I think might be at the root of this. But the gaps are barely noticeable.

I still have a problem with inventory menus, with the controls being extremely sensitive, making it very hard to zero in on a particular item, and I still think this is somehow connected to the camera issue.

Slave tats work now.

Also, I discovered LOOT. I had been looking for that earlier, but search results always yielded the Devious Loot mod or something like that. But no, it's a load order organizer for noobs like me. You should check it out. Even though, by now, I do have a rough idea on how to organize mods, it's still quite helpful.

I'll continue testing all the mods and report back, when I learn more. So far, this seems to be the best build yet.