Come to think of it the only person who has closely done all those things to me is my own brother and I no longer try to open up to him any longer but sometimes I end up doing it unintentionally and he's mainly mad at the world for what it is now then again who isn't. I still care for the guy though. 

Like I said before I really don't see anything wrong with Prince's beliefs. He does things that your conscience say is right thing but you don't want to do like giving a homeless guy a home or a lot of money etcetera etcetera. Not being selfish or greedy and that's what I like about his he is honest person and honorable man. Keeps his word like Naruto the ninja. Prince is a Hero like him ....Well at least in my eyes but nobody is perfect I'm sure you know. 

Prince does say he feels lonely because he feels no one can understand him. You do say he is different, so no one will understand him. My take on this is that you don't need to die from a heart attack to cure people having heart attack. Living the same thing, being the same isn't a requisite for understanding ; only the adequate skillset to listen and understand that precise situation is.

You do know your Prince. You do know he doesn't like to receive gifts, you do know he doesn't like expensive furniture (such as smartphones), yet you always said those were because Prince is different. That explanation feels like "he's wrong (different from us), but that's how he is". If you tried to go a layer further, to understand why he reacts that way, that understanding may allow you to know when you can get around it, and when you shouldn't force your ways upon him. And so, possibly to get him to feel understood. Though only dealing about secondary matters, I believe the examples where Boss wife tricked him into having birthday parties, or where he gets forced to accept a super expensive phone which is the complete opposite of what he wanted, do only reflect that fact. The sole title of the entry "bigger heart than brain" reflects the lack of will to understand what led him to behave differently. 

You're his wife Eva. You're the one who has the best chance at understanding him. But that supposes you stop thinking "how can I make him like us", and instead "what can I do to make him feel at home". I believed some elderly may have gained that ability through experience, but as you're saying, if they have the same mindset "let's make him like us", their chances at understanding him aren't any better than the others.

Anyway, that's just my opinion. Maybe he's just going through a bad moment, and that will pass with time.

4 hours ago, Jayomms said:

 

Come to think of it the only person who has closely done all those things to me is my own brother and I no longer try to open up to him any longer but sometimes I end up doing it unintentionally and he's mainly mad at the world for what it is now then again who isn't. I still care for the guy though. 

Like I said before I really don't see anything wrong with Prince's beliefs. He does things that your conscience say is right thing but you don't want to do like giving a homeless guy a home or a lot of money etcetera etcetera. Not being selfish or greedy and that's what I like about his he is honest person and honorable man. Keeps his word like Naruto the ninja. Prince is a Hero like him ....Well at least in my eyes but nobody is perfect I'm sure you know. 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

> You are one of the rare people who can distinguish between hating sin, not the sinner   I can say I often make it reverse, but I'm learning.  

> Thank you for nice words about my Prince and seeing him as he really is. Many hugs.

3 hours ago, Tirloque said:

Prince does say he feels lonely because he feels no one can understand him. You do say he is different, so no one will understand him. My take on this is that you don't need to die from a heart attack to cure people having heart attack. Living the same thing, being the same isn't a requisite for understanding ; only the adequate skillset to listen and understand that precise situation is.

 

 

> Listening works in most cases and it is helpful. But NOT in this case. A parabola: If you meet a blind person who never saw the beauty of the nature and he says to you: "I heard about wonderful colors but can't imagine how they look like" and you say: " I hear you", doesn't comfort that person. But if you say: "I'm blind too and I know what you talking about" the blind person knows you sympathies with him, for are are alike. My Prince was comforted many times because we listened to him. But in this case, listening is like giving a aspirin to a person who suffers incredible pain caused by cancer or "who knows from what" and need morphia.

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You do know your Prince. You do know he doesn't like to receive gifts, you do know he doesn't like expensive furniture (such as smartphones), yet you always said those were because Prince is different. That explanation feels like "he's wrong (different from us), but that's how he is". If you tried to go a layer further, to understand why he reacts that way, that understanding may allow you to know when you can get around it, and when you shouldn't force your ways upon him. And so, possibly to get him to feel understood. Though only dealing about secondary matters, I believe the examples where Boss wife tricked him into having birthday parties, or where he gets forced to accept a super expensive phone which is the complete opposite of what he wanted, do only reflect that fact. The sole title of the entry "bigger heart than brain" reflects the lack of will to understand what led him to behave differently. 

> If you could see, my whole entry was confession that I too do not understand him, that I too indirectly forcing him to change doing exactly what others are doing. I have no excuse. We do things for him out of love, because it is normal to us and because we love him. It is sad that we do not realize how our deeds of love have completely different meaning in his world. We all failing all the time.

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The sole title of the entry "bigger heart than brain" reflects the lack of will to understand what led him to behave differently. 

> I wouldn't call it lack of will, because we are trying to cope with him. I would rather say we have luck of wisdom in certain situations.

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You're his wife Eva. You're the one who has the best chance at understanding him. But that supposes you stop thinking "how can I make him like us", and instead "what can I do to make him feel at home". I believed some elderly may have gained that ability through experience, but as you're saying, if they have the same mindset "let's make him like us", their chances at understanding him aren't any better than the others.

> You are 100% right about this one. Let me give you another parabola: Let's say that you are heavy sleeper and you can't wake up without alarm. If you don't get up on time, you will be late for your job. But most of the time you don't hear the alarm no matter how high and loud you set it. It's because you have been heavy sleeper all your life. So what do you need to do? Change your alarm waking up time two or three hours earlier for there is a better chance you will wake up and won't be late to your work. That's we have to do in our case. None of us doing what we are doing intentionally having in mind: "We gonna change you, pal one way or another!" But our acts says so.

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Maybe he's just going through a bad moment, and that will pass with time.

> Of course it is a phase. But very intensive one because we "pressed" him hard. When we let him be what he is, he still feels lonely but the intensity is very low. Yes, we have to work on ourselves first so we can suppress his feeling of being lonely.  I believe when we stop loving him the way we think we should love him, but love he the way he needs to be love, his feeling of being lonely will vanish and the "thorn" in his soul he mentioned, will fall off by itself. My god. It's gonna be a hard and long period before we learn this lesson well.

1 hour ago, EvalovesEP said:

> You are one of the rare people who can distinguish between hating sin, bot the sinner   I can say I often make it reverse. but I'm learning.  

> Thank you for nice words about my prince and seeing him as he really is. many hugs.

?

1 hour ago, EvalovesEP said:

> Listening works in most cases and it is helpful. But NOT in this case. A parabola: If you meet a blind person who never saw the beauty of the nature and he says to you: "I heard about wonderful colors but can't imagine how they look like" and you say: " I hear you", doesn't comfort that person. But if you say: "I'm blind too and I know what you talking about" the blind person knows you sympathies with him, for are are alike. My Prince was comforted many times because we listened to him. But in this case, listening is like giving a aspirin to a person who suffers incredible pain caused by cancer or "who knows from what" and need morphia.

What if he wants more than just being listened ? He wrote this entry on LL but didn't even read the comments. He asked for assistance in english, while his english holds the waters perfectly most of the time. Doesn't him requesting your help to polish a message while he, in fact ,absolutely didn't care about the reactions nor needed assistance, seemed a bit strange to you ?

You may be right in him finding no comfort in being just listened : it is possible that what he wishes for is to be less forced to change his way of life out of love. In my opinion this message was in fact solely addressed to you, and possibly to Ivy and your whole family though you. The birthday parties and phone cases are possible examples where a middleground could've been found.

Point is this entry is a message to you in disguise. Maybe he wants you to discuss it with the community, but it's clearly not aimed at us.

1 hour ago, EvalovesEP said:

> You are 100% right about this one. Let me give you another parabola: Let's say that you are heavy sleeper and you can't wake up without alarm. If you don't get up on time, you will be late for your job. But most of the time you don't hear the alarm no matter how high and loud you set it. It's because you have been heavy sleeper all your life. So what do you need to do? Change your alarm waking up time two or three hours earlier for there is a better chance you will wake up and won't be late to your work. That's we have to do in our case. None of us doing what we are doing intentionally having in mind: "We gonna change you, pal one way or another!" But our acts says so.

You might be true about this example, but by comparing him to a heavy sleeper, you are in fact recognizing you see his differences as flaws in need to be corrected. No wonder you can't understand each other in those conditions.

Finding the right balance between what each member of a couple has to change to fit the other is delicate. But thinking duly between what you think is a flaw, and what really is could lead you to accept more than you spontaneously would. And if that little more fits him, possibly to solve that loneliness feeling.

1 hour ago, EvalovesEP said:

> If you could see, my whole entry was confession that I too do not understand him, that I too indirectly forcing him to change doing exactly what others are doing. I have no excuse. We do things for him out of love, because it is normal to us and because we love him. It is sad that we do not realize how our deeds of love have completely different meaning in his world. We all failing all the time.

You do all of that because you do love him, and you want the best for him. But while doing so, you should be careful not forcing upon him what you think is best, which is what a parent would do. But possibly to find the balance between his choices and yours that fit best the both of you. There, you'd recognize him as not only as a beloved one, but as a beloved partner.

Anyway, enough of me talking about couple issues. I have already stepped beyond my area of knowledge. You're an intelligent woman and you do love him, so eventually you'd find the solution even without assistance.

33 minutes ago, Tirloque said:

What if he wants more than just being listened ? He wrote this entry on LL but didn't even read the comments. He asked for assistance in english, while his english holds the waters perfectly most of the time. Doesn't him requesting your help to polish a message while he, in fact ,absolutely didn't care about the reactions nor needed assistance, seemed a bit strange to you ?

 

You may be right in him finding no comfort in being just listened : it is possible that what he wishes for is to be less forced to change his way of life out of love. In my opinion this message was in fact solely addressed to you, and possibly to Ivy and your whole family though you. The birthday parties and phone cases are possible examples where a middleground could've been found.

 

ues. I have already stepped beyond my area of knowledge. You're an intelligent woman and you do love him, so eventually you'd find the solution even without assistance.

> Must disagree with you. His rant wasn't addressed to me at all. How do I know it? Because he always talk to me and my Ivy if he wants to say something to us. He never use indirect ways of communications with us. He asked me to help him in English so that LL members might understand how he feels lately. Since the moment he posted that entry, he wasn't visiting LL at all. He didn't work with Ivy on her story. He mostly spend his time working, with us and with Mikey, almost all the night. He knows we knows we fucked up and that we feels bad about it. So, he communicated with LL. not me or Ivy or both of us. Like it or not, it's true.

> I like to discuss things with you and regardless our most common disagreements, there were occasions when you had right and when you weren't. Must say that most of the times you were. (I can't believe I said that ) Therefore, please, feel free to say what is on your mind whenever you feel you should say something.

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What if he wants more than just being listened ?

> That's' what I have been telling you. He wants and needs more than listening. And for your notice. He didn't ask LL community for assistance, but to be heard about his emotional state. He thought I would say better about his feelings that he does and I don't see anything wrong in it. When he is sad or disturbed he can't say properly what he wants in English. You, my dear friend, have to tone down your suspicions a little bit.    I'm temped to recommend you for some international spying intelligence organization.

It is really time to don't put him on pedestal anymore, he is equal person to you and Ivy, I get you you love him and look up him greatly, but thats just pretty much hurt more then help.

You want understand and help him, try that, trust me it will improve the things.

People not really want on pedestals in general, and I don't think Prince ever wanted that.

By doing that you make him feel a bit more isolated, feel having more responsibility on himself and the questions related to it, its an extra strain on him.

Let him comfortable at home and feel less "lonely".

Don't view him greater then he actually thinks himself, treat him more equal to yourself.

That was former mistake of my in lot of cases, ended up with conquences, as well others did with me too, and not really felt good being on one, you gonna feel it undeserved a lot.

Thats one of the behaviors you two do for him from what I noticed in the years, I shut myself up, cause it was my friend's relationship and saying something to there was not my place.

He and you asked for advices from the friends.

I give my point.

2 hours ago, EvalovesEP said:

>  I'm temped to recommend you for some international spying intelligence organization.

We are not currently hiring.

3 hours ago, Resdayn said:

...

 

I give my point.

> Thank you for saying what is on your heart.

1 hour ago, SpyVsPie said:

We are not currently hiring.

> ?

Well, maybe you can find one more place and squeeze in Trilog between you and pie

22 hours ago, EvalovesEP said:

> ?

Well, maybe you can find one more place and squeeze in Trilog between you and pie

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