)

One of the, more interesting kinks that is kinda bound into the realm of bdsm is

D/L (Daddy/Little) or DD/LG (Daddy Dom/Little Girl if you like to make long and complicated things ^^)

Now D/L is special to itself, since it might be one of the things seeming very weird to outsiders.

this kink is the source of all the popularity of calling people "daddy", because just like with 50 shades, society saw a kink and thougth "why not abuse it" xD

in this relationship one of the partners (the little) decides to act like a little boy/girl (the age can be different to what the person feels like, but is mostly decided upon at the start of the relationship

and the other part (the daddy or mommy, depending on gender) takes the responsibility of the little.

those relationships can still involve sex or punishing a bad little with a "good old spanking"

but there are also some that prefeer no sexuality (mostly asexuals) in their D/L relationship.

Depending on what age they agree on, this might involve a couple more of kinks (younger littles might need to be diaperd or feed, while older littles can be pretty independent)

The most often asked question by outstanders regarding this kink is "is this some incest shit" or "isnt this pedophilic"

well, i would say no to both, Daddys and Littles arent related to another, just boy/girlfriend wife/husband, who enjoy a different structure of relationship.

and, since these relationships happen between consenting adults, i dont see any problem in it and even if someone in a d/l relationship might be a pedophile, im glad he found a way to cope with his problems with another adult instead.

therefor on a final note, from what ive seen so far, the relationship between a little and a daddy is one of the most cute and pure things i have ever seen.

once again, the comments are open for questions and suggestions

check out the other posts of mine inorder to understand more about the topic, their not long to read either i think.

What i want to talk about today is one of the things that always causes weird looks by people outside of the kink, constant fights with media, state and feminists alike.

BDSM Relationships.

One of the most iconic ones is the one of a Slave and a Master.

While it is true, that slaves often get trained to a Masters desire, like it was the case with mine, they are still free humans and they conesentualy decided todo so.

A Slave, and generaly anyone in a BDSM relationship is free to walk away and terminate it, like any other relationship. (see the post about consentuality)

some mightv heard that its common to be punished for bad behaviour as a slave with "all kinds of nasty tools" , once again.

Thats consentual too ^^ either the Person is masochistic and actually enjoys the pain or agrees that its part of their relationship inorder to improve theirself, but at no circumstances someone is beeing beaten without consent in a proper bdsm relationship.

now, ofcourse Slave and Master isnt the only form of Relationship.

the individuals parttaking in bdsm activitys can also just be ordinary boy/girlfriend, who just like to use some Rope in their play from now and then.

Or one can simply be more Dominant then the other without titles.

also worth to mention are D/L relationships, but that might deserve its own Blog entry.

everyone is once again free to comment and ask questions.

Today i want to open the eyes to anyone who believes that 50 shades Displays BDSM

Let me start by qouting some scene from the 50 shades darker book real quick

"I wondered what your bedroom would look like," he says.

I glance around it, plotting an escape route, no - there's still only the door or window.

 "Well, I thought I should come and remind you how nice it was knowing me."

Holy crap. I stare at him open mouthed, and his fingers move from my ear to my chin.

"What do you say to that, Miss Steele?"

[...she says nothing...]

I take pre-emptive action and launch myself at him. Somehow he moves, I have no idea how, and in the blink of an eye I'm on the bed pinned beneath him, my arms stretched out and held above my head, his free hand clutching my face, and his mouth finds mine."

he bends and starts undoing one of my sneakers. Oh no... no... my feet. No. I've just been running. "No," I protest, trying to kick him off. He stops. "If you struggle, I'll tie your feet too. If you make a noise, Anastasia, I will gag you."

(He slaps her during intercourse.)

Afterward when he leaves, she says this: "But now I feel like a receptacle - an empty vessel to be filled at his whim.[...] I have an overwhelming urge to cry, a sad and lonely melancholy grips and tightens round my heart. Dashing back to my bedroom, I close the door and lean against it trying to rationalize my feelings. I can't. Sliding to the floor, I put my head in my hands as my tears begin to flow."

Romantic huh?

Christian Grey is nothing more then a rapist, that was wrapped in a presentbox.

I would like you to check out my Thread on Bondage, which covers the fact that the 50shades movies caused multiple persons to harm theirself througth wrong applied bondage.

https://www.loverslab.com/blogs/entry/5705-sane-bdsm-pressurepoints-and-safeareas/

Now id like to mention some things i experienced in my life, that have been affected througth 50Shades

i had people who tried to copy the totaly inaccurate bondage in the movie, which put rope without reversed tention directly on pressure points for it looking good,

caused people i know to have sever nervedamage on their hands/beeing unable to use them as much as they could before

I had people who have been raped or atleast abused because they thougth the behaviour shown in the movie is normal and therefor people hid their sick rapist interests behind pretending to be into bdsm

then they offerd those people i know to have a sexual experience (after they drugged them with lots of alcohol) they did playmethods  the partner was totaly new to, ignored safewords and rewarded total obedience regardless their personal feelings about the situation.

furthermore both some people i know and myself have been victims to the effects the movie had on people, the most harmless beeing that friends who get to know in what kind of relationship me and my Sub live, ask clichee or simply wrong questions that base on "ohh but they did that in the movie"

the most extrem i had yet was a neighbour of mine calling the Police on me and my Sub several times because shes convinced my Sub is victim of abuse, which ofcourse i appreceiate if it really was the case, that someone would stop it. But in this case after the 3d time, the Police had my Sub talk to a Psychologist and he agreed that everything we do seems to be in her consent.

She still treats me like a rapist tho and gives that opinion onto her children, while her oldest Son really is a nice fellow, he chills at our place sometimes playing some videogames with us when he`s bored. He didnt believe into the things his Mother said and rather stood in our door oneday, asking if i could explain what exacly me and my Sub do that outrages his Mother.

Once again it turned out at the dinnertable she uses "facts" she saw and read in 50 Shade

I have met several people who tried Bondage without knowing stuff about it and they seriously hurt theirself, i will talk more about that on another lesson.

Have you ever had a string or something around your finger for a longer time? just to notice how it gets a bit numb?

Thats because the blood is unable to flow when its cut off, also the nerves get a bit affected.

(I apologize if some of this is medicaly wrong as im not a medical student but just someone into bdsm)

The Human body has some Pressure points and areas that shouldnt be used during bondage. Unless you reverse the tention this is a nogo zone, and if you dont know how to reverse rope tention, then dont try using rope there.

All these above marked areas should never be used for rope, fifty shades ofcourse doesnt care about that, as there isnt even real bondage except some "tied to bedpost" things.

In the spoiler you see a image that should be rather popular or familair under fifty shades viewers.

Not only that the knot on the bedpost is basicly nonexistent, you see how she still has her hand on the rope, normaly this is done for "just having something to hold onto" reasons, here i belive she does it to make sure the rope isnt firm around her arm, which is basicly already seeable that the rope is just layed around the arm and not really restricting it.

i saw people, as this picture is so prominant, trying to copy exacly this. Theyve put tention on it, played for maybe 5-10 minutes and afterwards the tied up person  had serious nerve damage on that hand.

The Second thing id like to adress is Impact play, which is basicly and play that includes some sort of "pain"

such as Spankings, whippings, floggings, cannings and so on

Impact play can leave serious damage if done wrong, there are certain areas that simply arent suppost to be used for such play.

its actually written down below the picture but here ill list it again for anyone who might be unable to read it or something

Green = okay to play here

Yellow = Be Cautious

Orange (should actually be red) = Important bones, nerves and organs. Only light slaps, nothing more.

Pink = Not atall!

already saw people seriously hurt theirself not knowing this.

I hope everyone takes this seriously.

This year i was at the CSD (Christopher Street Day, for everyone who aint got a idea what that is, imagine it like a gay pride for everyone, you have LGBTS, Daddys & Littles, Doms & Subs, Furries, Petplayers and so on.)

and it turned out a guy which i was friends with from the local BDSM community was a furry aswell, we had some fun time teaching people about BDSM while he walked around with a tail on his Butt, his and my girlfriend poked me with it dozend of times xD

after a while his Friends showed up, in fullbody furrie suits.

Honestly i never really understud what people liked about furrys so much, to that point...

We all ended up Groupcuddeling, basicly rubbing myself against that fur while beeing petted with paws was so cozy its unbelievable.

Like many Kinky communitys it turned out that the Furry community was a very open and nice one where everyone tried to have a fun time.

The best way to get an opinion on a group of people or fetish is to make contact with those people :3

It is totaly okay to have Rape fantasys. Sounds a bit controversial to some, huh?

It is okay to have such fantasys, aslong as they stay fantasys or are practiced consentual.

There are many people in the BDSM community who have interest in fake rape, even my Submissive loves that (i dont do them regulary tho and not that hard as im still a bit uncomftorble with even played unconsentuality.)

What exacly is fake rape tho?

Fakerape is a kind of Sex where Partners trust another and know another enougth to see limits and boundaries, when their partner is happy and when not.

Once that is the case and both agree on it, they can fresh up their play by one side randomly (if the situation allows it) grab their Partner and do whatever they want with them, while "whatever they want" means "do what they know their partner likes"

There are atleast as many people into beeing used however their Partner wants to, as there are people who want todo everything with their partner without having to ask.

It is ofcourse a mental question how you stand to this topic, in my case i feel uncomftorble with just taking my girl, even tho she wants to,  as it just feels unnatural to me to have sex with a person without atleast knowing what they want that day, as interest and mood changes quickly, beeing able to talk during the game and so on. 

The important point on this topic is: Rape fantasys are okay, aslong as they are lived out consentualy or not atall

or people who simply feel both dominant and submissive,

It is almost as stupid to tell a switch (Someone who likes to be both dominant and submissive) "you simply cant decide what you like more so you stick with both" as telling that to a bi-sexuell person.

To face it, Fetishs and Kinks are a very complex thing going on in the Mind and for someone to understand it is very hard, basicly impossible.

So the next time your stumbeling across a Fetish you didnt know yet, dont try to argue with the Person having it that its stupid or weird.

Try to respect their interests, as they will respect yours.

Aslong as everything is consentual, its not your decission what someone else likes in bed...

Dont get me wrong, i understand the thrill some may have at this "domination + rape" fantasys.

I just want to make Clear here, that BDSM is Consentual play, like every Sex should be and not a form of Rape as some media may show.

BDSM is build on multiple systems, the most commen used is S.S.C:

Safe

Sane

Consentual

safe: attempts should be made to identify and prevent risks to health

sane: activities should be undertaken in a sane and sensible frame of mind

consensual: all activities should involve the full consent of all parties involved.

Its a thrill to think about having total control of someone, specially if they cant defend theirself. Thats why its such a whidely spread fantasy. There are also many members of my local BDSM community who show interest in "Fake Rape" where Partners that know another since a very long time (and know what their partner likes, dislikes, where their limits are) just randomly grab them and do whatever they want with them.

This is still done with Safewords tho.

(for everyone who doesnt know what Safewords are, in the spoiler below i will try to explain it)

So i can totaly understand anyone having Rape fantasys, there is nothing wrong about them. Its just important to seperate those fantasys from real life BDSM, otherwise misconseptions will be created and already exist, 50 shades for example, which  already caused bodily and mental harm to multiple people i know and to myself.

I hope this thread explained some things for people new to BDSM