Diamond City, Commonwealth, Summer of 2285

Piper Wright has discovered recent disturbing activities and they require intensified investigation and publication in her Publick Occurences.

But some other equally interesting topics are more suitable for her fresh branch publication: The UNPublick Occurrences

Recommended music to match the mood of Jente:
Spikeroog (Witcher 3 Soundtrack), e.g. here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SX9d2wolx6I

Thanks to
- Andrzej Sapkowski for his ever-fascinating Witcher-Saga
- farbeyondourstars (https://farbeyondourstars.com/) for the inspiration that triggered all of this and for proof-reading

Sections:

1. Anxietas Examinis

2. Letter to Line

3. Letter to the family 

Also at the Archive Of Our Own (AO3)

Also at DeviantArt (DA)  here, here and here

Letter to the family

To: Family Diel, Diel Metalworks, Maribor, Temeria

From: Jente Diel, Temple of Melitele, Ellander, Temeria

Ellander, the night of 12th to 13th of March, 1260

Dear Valerie, dear Yannick,

Just a few more days and you will be the proud parents of an ordained priestess to our beloved goddess Melitele.

Of course, I’ve passed all mandatory pre-exams and made it to the final ceremonial week - Examinatio et Probatio. It was very demanding and hard work to master everything during the winter months. My deep devotion and determination got me through it.

Thank you very much for that thick jacket, but there is no need to worry about me. I am well, and the order is taking so much care of us. We have plenty more than we need. Mind you, that once I am ordained, it will be upon me to care for the people in the world.

Please give everybody a hug from me, especially grandmother and grandfather.

Love you,

Jente

Letter to Line

To: Line Diel, Diel Metalworks, Maribor, Temeria

From: Jente Diel, Temple of Melitele, Ellander, Temeria

Ellander,  the night of 12th to 13th of March, 1260

My dear Liny,

Once this letter has reached you and you are reading this, you will be the twin-sister of a true and ordained priestess to our beloved goddess Melitele. Well, sort of. Probably. At least I hope so.

I am scared to death. It is almost midnight, and I should either be sleeping or keep on learning. But I can’t do either.

Since midwinter, I wanted to write letters to all of you, but I was far too tired from getting all that stuff into my head. So, tonight it is.

I did mention Yanna, my roommate since last summer, didn’t I? She is from the Skellige isles and a real hero to me. Right now, though, she is snoring like a bear and keeping me even more awake. I could kick her butt, and she wouldn’t notice. I envy her for being able to sleep tonight. But she is such a far better student than I am; she won’t have to worry at all about passing our final exam week. She will be a truly blessed and gifted priestess.

Anyway, to me, it won’t make much of a difference if I sleep now one night more or less.

All will start in a few hours at sunrise. This year, eight of us were accepted to attempt the exams. It was a close call. If it wasn’t for Mother Nenneke, I guess the seven others would have to make do without your stupid sister.

I am exhausted from the last month of learning. Yet, I still can’t memorize the constellations of the stars in the night-sky, I can’t sing the liturgy with the right tones, I am too much of an oaf to find the right words for funerals, and aside from cleaning toilets I am useless for the temple’s chores. Feeding the poor people with my food will kill them just a bit quicker than starving them to death - exactly those were the words of Sister Hrosvitha last week. And on and on it goes.

And even though I am very good at the martial arts lessons, I am too thin and too weak to wear the plate armour of our knight-order for a full day. Good reflexes, but barely enough strength. Being able to run for hours or doing backflips won’t protect any temple from harm. Useless, even for them. Maybe I can still be useful as a healer or herbalist?

(* The ink is smeared here, as if some water dropped on it and was dried off with some cloths later? *)

You know me better than anybody else in the world. Ever since we were eight, all I dreamed of was to become a priestess to Melitele. I wish for nothing more. Just like Sister Majia!

Is she still serving at the shrine in Maribor? We heard little from the outside world during the winter. Ellander was cut off under a huge blanket of ice and snow.

Almost as if Tedd Deireádh - The Final Age - had come upon us. Snowmelt started for us just two weeks ago.

Please, give Sister Majia a big hug from me. Even if I pass the exams, I doubt the temple would send me to serve in Maribor. Mother Nenneke never sends young priestesses anywhere near their home.

(* The paper is a bit crumbled, and the ink is smeared, as if some tears dropped on it and were dried with some rough cloths later *)

Back to the coming days. I already mentioned in my last letter that nobody really knows what will be going during exam week. All we know is that it will test everything we’ve learned in the last years and that, somehow, we will be pushed beyond our limits. We can of course imagine how that will work with the theoretical and practical tests. But none of us candidates has any idea how anybody could challenge our faith and spirit? Nevertheless, it is explicitly written in the statute of the temple: „a trial of faith and spirit, an experience only to be mastered with divine blessing.“ That is the big question to all of us. And that is what scares me the most.

However, afterwards I will never ever be able to tell you about it. Not even a hint! It will be the first secret between us in our lives. And It must remain one for all times. Please forgive me, but I hope you understand?

Right after breakfast, it is going to be real. There will be a big ceremony, and we will swear a sacred vow. Taking the secret of the exams to our graves will be part of that. As every year, all other novices and guests will leave the temple grounds. Only those under oath will stay.

I even heard a rumour that a handful of knights and men-at-arms will form a protective shield around the temple grounds. Just to make sure outsiders will be kept out for good.

Everybody else will return to the temple during the next days after Birke at the 22nd or 23rd. That’s when all is over and when the first of us will already have left the temple for tasks and missions far out in the world. To make it easier for us candidates, right after today’s breakfast, we say farewell to all our younger sisters. It’s weird putting it like this, but if all goes well, I might never see some of them again in my life.

I said above that one night less wouldn’t make much of a difference today, and you probably wonder why?

It is because, first of all, there will be almost no rest for any of us the whole week. There simply isn’t enough time to rest between all the tasks where we need to prove our abilities.

Second, all the mistakes we made during the last months or in the pre-exams will be tested especially thoroughly. The more you failed earlier, the more you have to prove now. And your inept sister failed a lot.

Top of all, it’s red menace week. My last two were worse than ever. I was bleeding like a butchered pig and couldn’t stand upright for three days. It’s a big surprise to me. You know I never had any real problems in all my life before, and I just don’t know what my body is doing to me right now. Though, simply, it could just be the accumulated exhaustion of the last months.

Funny thing is, there is a concoction in our alchemy books to meddle with a woman's bleeding. It has the possibility of very dangerous side effects, but right now, I don’t care. I'll take every chance I get. I can’t allow myself to fail this week. Least of all, not because of myself lying on the ground in cramps with a pool of blood between my legs.

If you ever need it, we call it Cheating The Moons. Just talk to a Sister in private, but really, really, really listen to her when she warns you about the side effects - promise me that!

I can’t even drink my beloved Cider. Not even in the weeks after.

Before I forget: You asked me in your last letter about the new names that priestesses get. No, I don’t know my new name yet. What we were told is that it is not really our own choice-by-will. It is related to how we succeed in the final exams. Our new name will symbolise much more what we really are than the name given by our parents. It’s a choice-by-doing. So, I guess I’ll become Sister Has-no-clue, Sister Kills-you-with-food, or even worse.

But please, don’t tell anybody about this letter. Least of all, don’t tell our parents! They will get a second letter so they won’t worry too much. Sister Majia is an exception. You can show her the letter if you like. I hope so much not to disappoint her. I owe her my life.

(* The ink is smeared, some tears must have dropped on it *)

Now, I’ll put my fate in the hands of our Goddess Melitele

Va fáill sor’ca, a’baeth,

Your Jente

PS: If that creepy fucker from the city clerk’s office touches you EVER again, use the green powder that I’ll attach to this letter and mix it in his food or drink, somehow. A few grains will suffice. It’ll be the end of his foul prick once and for all. My acquired alchemy knowledge must be good for something. And if you won’t do it, just tell me. Knives and scalpels are among the few things that I am VERY good at.

(* a small vial with a brown powder is attached *)

Another completely irrational and utterly foolish, one might even say idiotic, phenomenon is called Anxietas Examinis, or test anxiety, as my lesser cultivated, but nevertheless highly regarded colleagues at the Imperial Academy would call it.

The avid observer can study this unproductive phenomenon in a wide range of extraordinary subjects among our students. Nevertheless, many much lesser distinguished subjects are available outside of our hallowed halls, exempli gratia at religious schools, public schools, apprentices of craftsmanships, and other similar occurrences among people of common education.

Years of methodical studies prove a strong correlation of symptoms and the date of scheduled exams. We have little correlation with unscheduled surprise assessments. We will discuss this relation in section 2.

The subjects exhibit a wide range of (unfortunately) unspecific symptoms like failure to take repose, lack of good sleep, inability to concentrate, lack of appetite, nervousness, et cetera. 
In one common consequence, these symptoms are completely unhelpful and are unsuited to increase the performance of the student. We shall deliberate upon these symptoms at length in section 3.

A small yet significant group of students is not even aware of their state and thus is not even worthy to receive any kind of attention by our esteemed institutions at all.

Among those who do realize their state, or those who receive well-intentioned advice from our caring collegium, we have the largest group of subjects who will ignore all their training, all common sense, and will fall back on fairy-tale remediations, religious refuge, shamanic rituals, foolish abuse of (mostly low-quality) substances, or even worse. We will discuss these imbecile approaches to the phenomenon in section 4.

Only a minuscule group of subjects is self-aware AND sufficiently competent to employ well-known methods, cleansing themselves from this repulsive kind of emotional thinking, and return to the praiseworthy earnestness which symbolises the superiority of our institution.

(..)

— Bartalasar Emilio Farlesce, 1259, A scientific observation of irrational behaviours and obsessions, 23rd edition, University of Oxenfurt