Twenty followers and not one of them with the wit to cross the water. This may take a while.

Of course as soon as the wolf is finally dead . . .

I don't recognise this place. ?

Onwards and inwards. Vanilla but I can't remember what is in there.

Oh, it's these. Texture looks different than I remember.

Not a lot happened in here and the loot was poor. I did get a series of onscreen messages - grahl shags troll, grahl shags follower X, troll shags follower Y. I didn't see any of them due to the overcrowding/cramped space but I would have liked to have seen the first one.

This might be needing a rename - "It's no snow Snow Veil Sanctum". ?

Nothing for us here, I've never been in the place.

It's all a bit quiet really. This whole area is usually crawling with Man Eaters, bandits and animals.

Whistling Mine crowded but boring.

Whistling Mine still crowded and still boring.

We find a couple of dead Man Eaters and a bandit.

Next stop Stillborn Cave which I always think this is rieklings for some reason. Approaching with caution as there is often a fight to be had outside the cave. Beyond the cave it generally gets very lively.

The cave was quiet enough with not even an HSO villain attack. So we exit and sure enough it's game on. I can't anything but there are usually draugr battling with mages here plus some wolves(?).

The team are off fighting to the left. I am watching what looks like vampires fighting something, possibly mages.

I decide to go and see what the team are up to and do a bit of looting on the way.

It's a bit busier than I thought. So we have skellies and Vigilants or vampires dressed as Vigilants, possibly mages and the dead thing near me looks like either a bandit or one of the wandering adventurer types from Pop Roads or similar mod. Now that's what I call mod conflict. ?

The team appears to be holding its own.

The core of the fight down there was the horse from the carriage on the road who, being protected was taking on all-comers. I had to put it down humanely with a console kill. ?

The rest of that fight was sorting itself out so I decided to head back to the road. Skellies, mages, vamps and at least one of my followers.

Hang on, we haven't quite finished down there yet.

Our Marcia is taking a pounding. ?

Eventually the fighting here finishes and normal service is resumed.

Back on the road and we still haven't quite finished.

We finally make it to the fort.

That name's a bit of a gob full.

Apparently I've got some new doors. ?‍♂️

We did the inside and walked out to witness the end of a fight between rieklings and the resident mages.

More skellies on the road below the fort but no fighting.

While we were up at Yorgrim's Overlook I remembered something I wanted to check.

Looks like I was right. ?

I thought I'd spotted one of mine using a staff in the fighting outside Stillborn.

Rosy-cheeked Dawn is about to appear so I decide to admire the view. ☹️ Poxy ice. Well there's the day off to a great start.

Almost to Windhelm. Just wolves which is strange at level 40. You get a giant at lower levels. ?

I let the team deal with the wolves but was attacked by a bristleback for my troubles.

A dozy Bounty Collector pulled me while I was stopped to admire some passing miners.

Why is there no ice on the left, decent looking ice in the centre and shit looking ice on the right? ?

I spot our first patch of ice.

"Scientists predict that the Sea of Ghosts will be ice-free in the next twenty seconds".

When we came down from there for some reason I went one way and everyone else went the other way (unbeknown to me). I got down to the water and turned right and had a split second to see a bunch of Man Eaters running at me before a fireball exploded in my face and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I immediately spun around thinking I was running back to the team but I ran straight into a massive Man Eater so I spun around again and ran through the regular sized Man Eaters dropping a couple of fireballs myself. I did this a couple of times before the team arrived and I tried to hide behind them but the massive fella was determined to get me. ? More running and eventually the team did for the regular Man Eaters and we all ganged up on the big fella.

The Wreck of the Pride of Tel Vos. Tricky one this. If I approach it from the right then the followers always get stuck not knowing how to get on the ship then the mages and archers on the ship cause havoc and I have to spend weeks standing there trying to take everyone out with long distance fireballs. So from the left then.

We got to here without being spotted but for some reason I decided we should nip and do Skytemple Ruins first. ? On the way back I came round from the side where the giant is while everyone took the scenic route.

The team will be here soon enough so I decide to get things under way. ?

I'm level 40 and there are two of these but the team will be here soon enough. ?

I'm old enough to remember when I had a team of followers. ? I'm getting there though - only three left. ?

I've cleared the ship so time for some looting. Ayup, the cavalry has arrived. Colour me impressed.

"Scientists warn that rising sea-levels will make parts of Skyrim uninhabitable within the next twenty seconds"

A bandit in the water and the team are clueless on how to get at it.

We got to Winterhold where we were attacked by the mandatory lone nutter.

Did a bit of buying and selling and we are ready for the off. Now there is usually a giant just over that brow and then lots of hostile types scattered across the landscape.

No sign of the giant so our first stop is Glacier Edge bandit camp or whatever it is called. We find the bandits taking on a pack of mountain horkers who have been forced south by the retreating ice (or something) ? Anyway, raining down fireballs on everything, including a couple of ice wraiths, did the trick.

I'm picking up strong Man Eater vibes here.

Inside we come to a fork in the path ("Get out the meatballs mother, we've come to a fork in the road") I go left and find myself taking on three Man Eaters.

Having killed the three Man Eaters I turn around to see the team running across from right to left. They, as in all twenty, went for the other room which had two Man Eaters in it. ?

Luckily we are at sea-level.

Next stop Forgotten Bastion another rambling ruin. Nothing much happening until this. I've never seen SLAC do a multi actor animation before. Then I remember that I have changed to a new version of SLAC (Osmel's tweaked version?)

Sharp as a billiard ball.

Next thing i know it's like something out of the Three Musketeers - "all for one and all are up for it".

This never fails to do my head in. We go through a locked door to find one of the team waiting for us. ?

We will leave here and continue to head for Winterhold.

I'm not getting excited yet but no sign of any ice or snow on the LOD front.

Our first fight of the day (I'm not including the 3 horkers just outside Dawnstar). Bandits fighting Man Eaters until the gels put an end to the violence.

A bit further on and a War Zones Imps vs Stormies battle.

Once we got to that spot things got confusing. The WZ fight, which doesn't involve us, was over or almost over as we arrived with the Stormies coming out as the winners. Then some rieklings appeared and set to with the Stormies. For some reason the gels got involved in the fighting and at first I thought it was just wolves or a sabrecat that had got dragged in. Before I can figure out what is going on Stormies and rieklings are all dead and the gels are running off on a killing spree. ☹️

There were some strangely clad Stormies in there. ?

The gels are off all over the place so I continue up the hill to the Winterhold Imp camp. I'm on my own and I know that an HSO villain will show up so I hang back to see which way the wind blows. Discretion being the better part of valour and all that.

Well it turned out the wind was blowing in my direction as the Imps made short work of the HSO villain and then turned on me. ?

I ended up reloading and moving off before they turned on me.

Still no sign of the team so I carry on to Frostflow where one follower turns up as I arrive.

"I don't give a flying fuck how you self-identify, do you want to buy skooma or not?"

She threatened to report me to the guards. Fuckin' snowflake.

Here's a fun challenge. Grab the contents of the knapsack and get out of this confined space with a chaurus and umpteen followers trying to stop you. ?

I did it in just under three weeks. Not bad.

Ayup. Santa's Grotto was never like this when I were a lad.

"Blood and sand. Will yer give me a minute?"

Apparently not. ?

Finally. Does anyone else have this? It is on the ramp up after killing the boss chaurus. It's been in my game for as long as I can remember (or not been in my game).

Dropped a major clanger not parking the team for this one. ? Only eight of them between me and the trapdoor. ?

Exit Frostflow and turn left for Alfthand and Hobb's Fall. But first some wolves.

Then a sabrecat and another wolf before I can move.

In Alfthand Tower and attacked by four Sons of Atmoran. I can't remember if they are normally hostile or not.

Another close call on leaving, though the drop wasn't as big as it looked in the dark.

Once we down from there we can see a fight taking place.

Turns out to be draugr and skellies taking a large wolf pack.

Hang on a minute. ?

I'll take that if you don't mind.

And then the team all hare off again. Oh, how we laughed.

I may as well make myself useful.

The fight involved draugr, skellies, Man Eaters and vampires but eventually my team return and we headed for Hobb's Fall.

Here we go again.

We were attacked by HSO's Sanguine's Puppy then it was noraml service is resumed.

None of these sex shots are staged they just happen as and when certain mods kick-in.

I'm hoping we get to Winterhold before Xmas. ?

[Note to self: This time do not, repeat do not, forget to pick up Wylandriah's doo-dah]

Before we left I had another go at getting a PC who looks something like I want.

I was this:

First thing I tried was a skin change to the original Mature Skin with the 'old' option/variant.

Next attempt and I try with a tweaked/improved Mature Skin by some other guy. With the 'old' variant again.

Once more unto the breach dear friends . . .

At least she is starting to look how I feel. ?

The neck isn't great but she will do for now.

Time to leave Dead Men's Respite but not before a quick team-talk.

"And if I so much as think I heard any sniggering you lot will wish you hadn't been born".

It's 19 gels plus Coda at this point.

Coda's half broke at the minute. I took him 'off the clock' with TDF to get my share of the money off him but now I've put him to work again I don't get the dialogue option to ask an NPC if they fancy a turn with Coda and talking to Coda doesn't give the 'get your own clients' option.

Before moving on from here I exited and had a diddle with my LODs. It didn't seem to have done much though there wasn't a lot wrong here. ? I've since also altered a couple of settings in Bethini dealing with the distance at which things like grass load in and out of view. The verdict is still out on those changes.

We stop by Crabber's Shanty to find that the NPC who has been female since god was a lad is now male.

We are heading for Brood Cavern and as we cross the river Juni's stats pop up - she's obviously fighting something. Not a lot of fucks being given by the rest of the team.

I'm just thinking about going to find her when she comes running to join the back of the queue. The blonde piece, three gels above my head.

Up to Brood Cavern and it's "Howdy, cowboy".

I can't recall ever seeing one of these outside the Rift. Maybe it's not a SIC monster. It was two-thirds dead before it attacked us wherever it came from. We'd had enough of Minos' bull (ancient Greek joke )

I nearly came to grief on exiting the cavern. When you transition something (EFF?) places you far enough forward to accommodate the followers landing behind you. Brood Cavern entrance area has a very short landing strip. A few more followers and I'd have been a goner. ?

On the main road just outside Morthal we were passed by a Stormcloak patrol who entered the town just before us. First thing they did was take on out the Guards.

Second thing they did was make for the battle-cruiser for a pint. I was expecting to be met by WW3 when I followed them in.

We mooched about waiting for the shops and whatnot to open. I call in to see what Falion has to offer. FFS

[Note to self: look into alternatives to this armour replacer.

Next stop Lami's place but wait . . . it's none other than the courier . . . could it be . . .

 . . . could it chuff. Another letter of inheritance. ☹️

This spot outside Stonehills is always lepidoptera city. There's always some sort of crowd scene here as well.

A mixed bag of Imps and wandering this and travelling thats with bodyguards.

A bit further on and a big fight at the Ambushed Caravan.

A Master Sorcerer (or should that be a Mistress Sorceress?) is the last man standing among the dead Man Eaters and bandits. I didn't notice her atronach doing much, or doing anything come to that. I'm glad she won though. The others wouldn't have bought a bottle of double-distilled skooma. ?

Next up Frostmere Crypt. Handful of bandits killed outside and three as soon as we stepped through the door. I managed to dish out a few biffs myself.

Strolled through the place and just as we are heading out - it's follower of the female persuasion number 20.

Ay caramba. She is taller than she looks.

Not far from Dawnstar and we come across a fight involving a Frost Giant and presumably the bandits from the camp. I can also see that my LODs are still not right.

Not the type of fight I like. It's dark, the gels get pulled in and hare off in umpteen different directions and I haven't got any hostiles on my radar.

It turned out okay though.

It'll be Dawnstar to trade and whatnot then probably Winterhold and Windhelm while popping in anywhere we come across.

Into DB and the first lone nutter attack of the day. Swiftly dealt with - dead and looted before she knew what had hit her.

Pillory texture definitely fixed as this was the one I took a screenie of with missing texture. I found a discrepancy of three dds files between the Zaz installed and the Zaz archive.

A quick visit to the trader and I head off to the blacksmith. I didn't see this mentioned on anyone's C.V. ?

I must have missed it.

All of it.

Look at Coda Cabbagehead trying to look all cool and nonchalant with his foot on the step. It took him about twenty attempts to get his foot on there. ?

To be fair, there may be a reason for his foot trouble. I've recently upgraded him from orcish to ebonish and I may have got his shoe size wrong.

I thought 20 ingots was a lot for a pair of boots. ? We are at Karth River Henge, or whatever it's called, just about to descend on the little bandit camp by the water.

Easy, peasy, lemon squeezy.

We found a Forgotten Skyrim dungeon so in we went.

Huge place but not a lot in there. Bandits but mostly too few, too weak and spaced out too far apart until near the end. Not long in I lost contact with all but one of my followers which livened it up a bit. ?

Scarlett the second and I were doing okay until we ran into a bunch of bandits and I got killed.

I issued the EFF "get your arses over here" command to get everyone back on track. That's the new gel, Alina on the left in green.

I'm now paranoid about losing them again.

Just checkin'

We bumped into Sinbad an HSO villain towards the end. How do they know I have Forgotten Skyrim installed? ?

Just at the exit and I'm thinking of having a makeover. I don't know if it is because of the HP head but all my PC presets look too smooth-faced these days.

Here's an old screenshot. Like an idiot I deleted this and many other presets by mistake. Part of the look is from the skin which I thought was the 'old' option of Mature Skin but I tried that at the start of this game and it didn't cut it.

Here's two using more or less the same preset from now.

Here's a different preset but same story.

Anyway we came out of the dungeon and were attacked by werewolves. We didn't need it but we got help from some rieklings.

Shortly after the fight I went down with cramp but luckily the rieklings had a physio with them.

Best served with Cyrodilic slaughterchips?

We found a Wisp Mother just standing there hovering. ?‍♂️

This camp turned out to be empty for some reason. Strange, it's usually full of bandits around here. That's the back door exit to Ft Snowhawk on the radar.

Did you spot it? It's been a while since I saw one of these.

This is what it was looking at.

We moved round to the front of Fort Snowhawk (itsa neagle ?) ready for the appearance of the HSO villain. Instead everyone went haring down the road after someone or something. No way I'm going in the fort grounds on my own.

Usually what happens is that the rieklings spawn in the grounds of the fort while the necros are around where I'm standing and also dotted about the fort ramparts along with their skelly mates. Once the rieklings and the necros start fighting, the HSO villain spawns and all hell breaks loose. The necros also attack anything moving along the road.

The body on the road in front of me is a bodyguard and there was what looked like a merchant or noble way down the road there. Why my gels would attack that I don't know.

The plot thickens. Once I got my gels back we ventured through the gate and found the remains of an HSO something. There were some dead rieklings and necros as well.

Going off what was dropped, I don't think it was the Flash Archer. The remains look different as well (I think). I'm thinking it may have been the Riekling Slayer though I've not seen him around here before. Ah well, another mystery.

After the fort we got pulled off course a bit and ended up here watching this fighting coming down the river bank towards us. That's Crabber's Shanty on the radar and Dead Man's Respite is off to our right.

We killed a bandit who was doing the fire magic. A dead sabrecat floated down the river and there was at least one dead skeever. The Sacred Band girls were all dead but there's no way a single bandit mage would have taken them out. While I'm stood pondering this mystery, this ambles past us.

That's Valerie the vamp from Chipped Tooth Cave at far left, and Juni in the centre, she's a bit of a worrier, bless.

Our next stop is Dead Man's Respite.

Yes! More like a no really. It was a letter of inheritance. ? (Lilly always appears behind you for some reason).

Right, on to the sawmill then. At least I have bit of good news - I've fixed my missing texture on the pillory (assuming this one had the problem ? ). And there is our first follower, Whysper.

Solitude Sawmill, Skyrim's largest pencil maker. 'Guaranteed to last a lifetime'.

More good news on the texture front. Harmonicas were missing a texture too.

Minor problem with the second follower. She's in here.

At least she should be in there. I broke in but there was no sign of her. ?‍♂️ So back in the summer did I move her location or uninstall her or am I getting her location mixed up or something? It doesn't help that I can't remember her name.

? I am fairy certain that I have a screenshot of her though.  I exit the game and look in my screenshots folder. Upstairs for thinking, downstairs for dancin'.

Success. There she is - Alina.

There she is - another Alina. ?

I trawl through 260 followers in XEdit but only find one Alina. I decide to invoke my motto "Never put off until tomorrow what you can postpone indefinitely". Alina can wait.

A quick swim across the bay and a check to make sure everyone agreed to follow.

We don't to wait long for our first dead body. Just the usual, common or garden Beaked Dinosaur Zebra. ?

We are almost at High Gate when we see three wolves chasing . . . the courier! ? We leap into action and slay the foul beasts but the courier didn't stop running and had disappeared by the time we were done. ?

I have a couple of mods which add couriers to the game but they just run about the place looking busy. Only Lilly delivers the goods and that was Lilly being chased by the wolves. There is a Lilly look-alike which is thrown up by one of the mods but whether it was her or the real thing who knows? What any courier is doing out here in the middle of nowhere in the first place is anyone's guess.

Into High Gate and we find this sleeping beauty. She claims to be from vanilla Skyrim ? [Click and drag to move] Lucky she is friendly as here level 100 is a bit more than out current level 30-odd.

Sanguine must be struggling to get decent staff these days.

We did High Gate without any trouble - never get an HSO villain in there. So outside I have think about where next when . . .

Why do LODs hate me?

I got rid of all this once upon a time. No idea how but I did.

I decided to do the Brinehammer. I knew an HSO villain will turn up here so I brought the gels onboard with me. Smart move there, champ. ?

The villain turned to be Sanguine's Puppy which is the weakest of the villains and easily dealt with solo. The bandits were few and weak as were the mudcrabs. The gels were plentiful and a ferkin' nightmare. Something broke and I couldn't get off the ship. Every time I tried to exit I got zoned off to an empty ship's hull. In the end I had to do a TCL to get outside.

Me still wondering where to go; LODs still hatin' me.

I did see a sea-horse.

We trudged back to Solitude to give the courier one last chance which she didn't take so time for a new plan. From Soli to DB then Morthal, taking in whatever off-road locations we see. While we were in Soli I used Are You There to bring Alina to me so we now have her with us, taking us to 17 gels plus Coda I think.

Vamps and skellies running about and magic going off everywhere and then 12 or so followers joined in. ? The HSO duty villain was Wild Rabbit who I spotted in the middle of things just before she died and had a 'raise dead' put on her almost before she hit the floor. ? The vamps and skellies were still up for a fight but my gels calmed down. Then it dawned on me that there is a follower in here and the vamps are not liking it.

I had to save, exit, XEdit to add the follower to the vamp faction and reload. That got things calmed down enough for me to get the follower to join me even though some of the vamps were still trying to kill her.

After some detective work I worked out that there were at least three mods' worth of vampires in there for a total of about 15.

When we left we walked into an attack by a bandit.

Back on the road we see a trail of bodies and someone fighting up ahead.

Seems to have been vampires fighting these things. I've only just noticed that they aren't Rieklings. ?

Next up is some Pop Roads people fighting something.

Turns out to have been Hammerfell Bandits.

Back to the road and there's more fighting ahead and I'm over weight from the looting. Fucking magic.

More body-strokers.

Finally Rorikstead. Oh, FFS.

While I'm doing a bit of crafting while waiting for daylight we get attacked by another lone nutter. No sooner is he down than the body-strokers move in.

Daylight arrives and the body-strokers are out in force. Vanilla guards plus NPCs from at least 3 mods.

Things are starting to get crowded. They could probably do with another dead body. Siph-thud. "There ya go."

Another lone nutter attacked not long after this.

Finally we can leave Rorikstead heading for Solitude.

Ambush Caravan junction is a bit of an anti-climax with only a single ambusher.

This guy can see something up ahead. It was only a couple or three bandits and some wolves I think.

Anyway it brought us to Rubbers George which is always chock-full of miscreants and ne'er-do-wells. The two on the bridge were Pop Roads fighters and horned helmet, bare arse is a slaver from HSG. They are tough cookies but it will take more than three of them to get through here.

We move in. I die. We reload. I ran straight into HSO's Pigman who can shift for such a fat bastard. ☹️

Rubbers George - Take 2.

For some reason there was a pack of skeevers here battling with the bandits. The mudcrab came scuttling out of the river as we crossed the bridge. Initially I let the girls run in while I stood on the bridge fireballing the bandits who were fighting on the road to the left of the fort. I nearly died as there were too many magic users who turned their attention to me. I was getting hit by fire and two lots of ice then a shock mage turned up and I couldn't generate any juice for my spells.

Well I died again anyway as there is a guy there (just to the left of the dead skeever) swinging a warhammer who was level 50 to my level 30-odd.

HSO's Mona the Fire Witch was involved in either Take 2 or 3. She went down easy enough as we had her pinned against the wall so she couldn't whizz about.

Rubbers George - Take 3.

It looks quiet enough.

The gels did most of the work while I took on a few mages who were outside the fort. We ended up with the usual fuck up as there were two bandits hiding behind rocks so I couldn't fireball them. Everyone in the fort was dead but the gels are still pumped but haven't got the AI to get out at the bandits.

I ended up going through the trap door to the lake where the gels followed me. When we got on the bank there was no sign of any bandits but about five appeared in the fort. ? Either one of gels never made it out of the fort or somehow managed to find her way back in but anyway she took on the bandits in the fort while I got myself to some high ground and started pumping out fireballs.

Just as i thought it was all done and dusted a fight broke out on the bridge between someone. Some of the gels were on it and it ended quickly enough.

Finally after seventeen years we had done with Rubbers George and we began the walk to Dragon Bridge. I'm getting low on succubus energy and my stats are starting to drop. Time for a quick shag with a passer-by. A horse turns up to stand there in a horse-like manner. I've clocked a giant off to the right there.

We bump into my friend Titch from HSG.

We got as far as the dead merchants at the junction where there was a Warzones Imps versus the stormies fight going on. The fight had moved on but there was an Imp stood near the wagon. I had a mooch around to see if there was anything worth lifting and as I turned to move off he killed me. ?

On the reload there was no sign of the Imp but I decided to stay clear of the fight anyway.

At last we enter Dragon Bridge. Cue the lone nutter.

There were in fact two lone nutters. ?

Another lone nutter attacked later and at one point a bear attacked. You can see it on the walkway over the gate.

After doing some crafting and trading we left DB and made it to Solitude without any incidents of note.

There was this I suppose. They're up to no good, you mark my words. I'll bet the pervy bloke in the bush on the right is the leader.

I was hoping that the courier would have turned up by now. I've parked 17 gels and Coda Cabbagehead outside the city while I do some trading and whatnot. If the courier doesn't turn up by the time I've finished I'm planning on nipping across the bay to Highgate Ruins and I think there is a Forgotten Skyrim place close by.

There are a couple of followers at Solitude Sawmill which I'm tempted to grab.

I step off the buzz at Falkreath to find myself staring down the barrel of an arrow. Luckily she was aiming at the bristleback behind me.

I spot Hera, one of the travelling merchants from HSO and step up to buy some fire salts (skooma ingredient). As I do so a dozy bounty hunter appears behind out of thin air.

I 'pay' my bounty and suddenly it all kicks off. The bounty hunter is dead before I can turn around and the team are galloping off after something else. Just as I'm thinking this is going to be a reload as the town will go hostile, it is all over. Net result is one dead bounty hunter and for some reason one dead Gleipnir merc outside the longhouse.

In the alchemists shop I find a follower so I grab her and head into the longhouse.

"Bloody hellfire".

I grab the 2 followers from the longhouse including this new one.

Of course as soon as we step outside we are attacked by a lone nutter.

Falkreath Cemetery, or as I like to call it Nightshade City.

I grab another follower from the Hall of the Dead and we hit the road. Just before the junction where you can turn right and head to Riverwood along the lake we spot our first dead body - a stormy. As we approach junction we can see fire spells going off.

At the junction this guy comes strolling along heading towards Riverwood. Personally I think he is being a little too optimistic.

Looks like I was correct.

We pass some dead hoppers as the sun starts to come up.

As we are approaching Half Moon Mill I see one of the girls from Not Chicks Have Hot Sisters, to wit, Hert's sister, walk into the cabin and drop her raised dead ally. From what it dropped it looked like a Hammerfell bandit so fair play to her.

Just as I'm thinking about this all hell breaks loose with the gels haring off. By the time I react they've dealt with that one and are off down the road in the direction we have just come from.

I had a quick look around but I could find anything. Probably just wolves.

To be honest I'm surprised we got this far with so little trouble but as we set off again we pass another dead hopper then come across these two body strokers.

The road looks clear from here but if I move up to just past the body strokers . . .

These were an experienced rogue, mage and warrior who travel together from one of my mods.

It's all downhill from here.

We have Tolstoy the Wanderer and one of those farmers who is off to join the legion or the stormies. The mammoth is already fighting something.

Perhaps I should say 'was fighting' as he keeled over two seconds later. ☹️ There's a dead sabrecat and a wandering trader and some other guy running for it.

It now goes mental.

We get to the junction and the gels go aggro. I haven't a clue as to what is going as there are people running all over the place and already dead bodies lying around.

By the time I get onto the main road the fighting seems to have ended and this comes creeping out of the grass (there was a guy with her).

Berserkers are tough but I don't think tough enough to solo a mammoth and they don't ride horses.

Okay, so there's the sneaky guy, now a long way behind sneaky gal. That's a companion from Pop Roads just on my left shoulder and long comes a pilgrim. I still looting at this stage and it's all quiet.

Off we set when suddenly off we go for round two.

That was about 6 dots on the radar. There's a giant about somewhere plus a couple of unidentified fighter types. I've not swung a blow yet.

The giant's cow runs past.

Sneaky guy is a Wandering Trader but he doesn't seem in any hurry. Either that or the glass axe is a lot heavier than you'd think.

There's the giant looking at cabbagehead and there's cabbagehead looking at the giant. ?? ?

We make it onto the Rorikstead Road and see more dead bodies. Mr Sneaky is still sneakin' it.

As we proceeded more fighting broke out further down the road. People ran across the road from left to right and there was magic going off. Something tells me that at least one of the mages didn't make it.

Sometimes it is best just to try to avoid eye contact and carry on as if nothing has happened. This was one of those times.

So the horse from the mammoth fight made it as far as here and there is still people running across the road fighting.

Maybe it is a level thing but there are usually a band of Hammerfell bandits around here.

Tosspot the Wanderer taking on a bunch of Forsworn - smart move. Dead slave but no sign of the slavers.

Follow the money Follow the bodies.

Death Hounds, Zombie Dogs and magic flying about.

Dead Zombie Dogs and Forsworn.

Same again.

And they are still at it.

I've had enough so I'm going to nip in Chipped Tooth Cave to see if there is a cup of tea on the go. There again, there is always an HSO villain in there.

Just past the Three Sentinels and the team spot an Ancient Glass Golem and hare off. I haven't seen one of these for many a game and I was beginning to wonder what had happened to them.

Well here is the fort looking all picture postcard like.

Before we go any further the team spot something and go haring off again. FFS.?

I didn't realise it was an HSO villain and nearly got killed. We took a pounding. ?

The fight ended here so I thought 'why not?' I was surprised that we hadn't attracted the attention of the fort's inhabitants.

Into the fort proper and our first fight.

There were 5 of them in that fight.

Beyond repair would be my guess.

We made it through the fort without any problems and then the exterior of the fort only had 4 or 5 bandits. Typical, if I'd been solo it would have 14 or 15. The place is always stuffed with bandits.

I glanced back towards Riften and spotted some Forsworn battling with somebody. What the hell Forsworn are doing round here I have no idea.

We arrive in Shor's Stone and immediately we are in a fight. Two fights really - bears and a lone nutter at the other end.

These mods pay for themselves. We agree to do the spiders in the mine gig for Filmstar.

And we have not even drawn weapons. How civilised is that? ?

Take your pick.

On our way back through the fort we spot this.

Then we find what was probably fighting with the Forsworn.

And then we get attacked by the usual lone nutter.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't like this when we left it.

Back in Riften and the plan now is to catch buzz ter Falkreath grab some more followers and then walk the road back to Solitude hopefully meeting the courier along the way to get Potema part 2.

I made an interesting discovery while I was back in Riften. For some reason I no longer had Ordinator installed so my perks were not doing what they should have been doing. Reinstall Ordinator got my perk points back did the needful. Now my armour rating has gone up and I hit harder plus other benefits. ?

We came across this follower in the blacksmith's shop. I hardly ever go in the place so she was quite a surprise. There is a similar lady in Warmaiden's ?

The joys of the Sticc to Thicc body. Episode 01 - Thicc.

All followers are created equal but some just do not merge patch well. ?

I'm hoping I have fixed this but I wont know until I go back to Solitude or the Sleeping Giant.

My favourite spot in all of Skyrim. Castle Doower doower. ?

"He said it was how big?"

My visuals are very good in this game. More by luck than judgement I might add. It used to be the case that my jpg screenshots looked better than things did in the game but my game seems to have, well, upped its game. ?

Anyway, next stop the bus stop.

"How much is it from here to . . ."

We step off the bus and into a fight with a lone nutter. ?

We entered the town and didn't get attacked so that was nice.

The joys of the Sticc to Thicc body. Episode 02 - Sticc.

My <cough>pharmaceutical supplier<cough>

Time for a bit of fund-raising. The steward is partial to a Sleeping Tree Sap while Laila Raw-Liver likes the regular skooma. Wylandriah goes for the STS as well.

The Joys of the Sticc to Thicc body. Episode 03 - Legs of death.

We pop into Alchemists R Us.

Old Elgrim there is a Nord Elder as far as I know and his head texture is fine. Old Nils in Windhelm and Rorik's sidekick have grey face.

Hafjorg likes her Panacea skooma, she says it helps with her stretching exercises.

A new follower. Not to be confused with Luna I, Luna II, Luna III or Luna IV. ?

The plan at this point is to have a quick run through the Ratway then grab a gang of followers to do the run to Shor's Stone. I'll need the followers to get past Fort Greenwall.

Coda and I get through the two goons and then Gian the Fist when the radar lights up. Eh? ?

Three arse kickings later the penny drops and I decide to go with Plan B. We will get the followers now and then do the Ratway. ?

Back in town and it looks like it was raining arrows.

We must have missed something while we were in the Ratway.

Followed by 'nice legs, shame about the face'.

A couple of followers hired but Loona doesn't have the dialogue option. Another one for my 'to do' list.

Into the Ratway with my new team. Ten or eleven gels plus Brain of Britain. No sign of any enemies until we have just left the Ragged Flagon and the radar goes ballistic. Gulp. ?

I managed to squeeze past the gels and re-enter the Flagon but there was no sign of any enemies so we left again and this time there was no sign of any enemies. ?

We came across a room full of skeevers.

Then we came across lots of dead in a room. The floating ash pile was a former skeever according to the loot.

On the steps.

And in the room itself. Apart from the werewolf everything here would have been friendly.

It turns out that the werewolf was from Enemy Plus though I have no idea what or where the 'Pass' is.

We made it out the Ratway without meeting any hostiles. ? ?‍♂️

I went back to the Bee and Barb just to make sure I hadn't missed any followers in there. I popped upstairs and got attacked by a lone nutter. I dealt with him myself as I'd parked everyone outside.

There are circumcisions and there are circumcisions. ?

Outside, the good news is that I've cured one problem. Turns out is was just a matter of manually swapping the load order of two mods.

I couldn't fix Loona by adding the follower factions she was missing though.

Spookily, a bit further on there was a dead Agent with the same face as the Thalmor.

I got everyone's weapon crafted up and enchanted and we are ready for the off.

Bruca's has more forsworn outside than I recall plus there was a minor problem with Inte's cages.

This guy must have ruffled some feathers.

No sooner had we left Bruca's when I spot this.

On closer inspection it turns out to be another Forgotten Skyrim location.

It's a huge place but not much of interest in there apart from this little fellow.

And this guy.

"Put some clothes on. You'll catch your death"

And of course we couldn't get through without an HSO villain.

Taken after the by now mandatory second attempt backed up by several draugr. ☹️

On we go.

Dragon Bridge by moonlight. We managed to get here with only a single bandit and a werewolf and wolves to fight.

Apparently the jarl has ordered the guard in Dragon Bridge to keep a low profile.

Time to enter the inn to wait for the shops opening and to check on the number of followers in there. Fingers crossed there are no surprises awaiting inside.

"Blood and sand"

Interesting texture difference here between the armour and the shield. Probably because the armour is from a SAM armour mod and the shield is just vanilla as far as I know.

Coda's has now got an ebony axe we picked up along the way crafted and enchanted so if he ever gets stuck in a wet paper bag he can fight his way out.

"Close that bloody window, there's a right draft"

She's from the same mod as Coda.

Five followers in the inn but now the shops are open so first stop the blacksmith.

That Coda, What a guy.

?

Either this has just had a fresh coat of paint or it's missing its texture.

We step out of the trader's store and a head goes rolling down the street, and at a fair rate of knots I might add.

What's in a name?

Through the gate and a few yards up the hill we discover the source of the head.

A few yards on and a dead poacher.

Followed a few yards on by a dead wolf.

 Solitude is starting to look a long way off. ?

We get to the junction and look up the road. Slavers so they aren't hostile.

There was one or more dead stormies around here as well.

Waste not, want not. Time for a spot of looting.

No sign of daddy thrall though.

Back to the main road and we find an Imperial patrol who think staring at a rock face is a better option than risking the road.

Finally we make it to Solitude.

"Hey Coda. I think you dropped your brain"

"Blood and sand. She should change her name to Hilde the Rear."

You can tell we are in the palace by the quality of the furniture.

The chaise longue is from Lord's animation pack.

I've discovered a use for Coda.

When's the last time that floor saw a mop and bucket?

Not sure where to go after Solitude. I've still got Potema part 2 to do so we will be back here for that. When I've done Potty 2 I usually do the north coast. I haven't been to Riften or Falkreath yet so i might catch the bus to Riften and then bus it from there to Falkreath and see where we are up to when the courier finds us.

I've got some mods I want to install and have a look at as well. ?

Across the bridge we find this guard threatening a dead body. That's a Silver-Blood mercenary who, technically, is on the same side as the guard. The merc is one of the dead from the forsworn attack.

I'm looking these images and thinking that my roads still aren't 100%. ?

We head up the hill towards the Lover's Stone and come across a Durzog deep in thought. He actually attacked us a bit further on which is strange.

Shortly thereafter we get attacked by a half-dead spriggan. A bit later as we pass the 'Confluence of the Karth River' I realise we have taken the wrong turn off the road. ?  A few steps after that we find what is probably the cause of the spriggan's half-deadness - a fully dead haggy.

Lover's Stone done and it's back down the hill to the road. We arrive just in time to see the forsworn take out some passing adventurer type.

I think the problem is the road edges or trims. Another one for the 'to do' list.

We did Kolskeggr without taking any screenshots so I don't get to say my 'that place is a real gold mine' joke.

Next stop Blind Cliff Cave. Before entering I get HSO villain vibes. ?

I think they need to break out the lawn mower.

A disappointing run by Melka this time around. She didn't make it past the first forsworn and dog.

Wild Rabbit "Surprise"

Me "Oh shit"

It took two attempts to get rid of her.

We finished Blind Cliff and walked over the hill to enter Karthwasten from the back so we didn't get to the milk place.

I found an orc shield in Blind Cliff for my man Coda. Slight upgrade, not great but he can do with all the help he can get.

We enter the mine and get attacked by a Knight of the Faith while a single Pilgrim khajiit stands and watches.

Our work in Karthwasten done it's time to head out. Some dead guy on the path who was nothing to do with us. We are going to take the path off to the left there, just beyond the mercs and slavers.

Before we go there is one last thing I want to check.

Yes! I've fixed my DoS orcs. I dickied about with the facegen files but I think the uninstall/reinstall did the business. I can cross that one off my list. Deep joy!

Over the hill and down to the river where there is a running fight between forsworn and stormies on the opposite bank. While we are watching, a stormy swims across to this side, runs past us and along the bank and tries to swim back across to the other side.

"Hold it right there, Bald Eagle". More forsworn appear out of nowhere and are waiting for him so he retreats to mid-river, thinks for a while then retreats the way he came.

We get to Harmugstahl to find forsworn outside which is new. One of Inte's cages having issues up at the top right.

Inside I kill the spiders while Brain of Britain watches from a safe distance. He's from Immersive Followers BTW.

A bit later there is a doorway where you have to hack through webs - my man Coda had my back on that one. ?

This puzzle always gets me. The info on the web say levers 1 and 3 but it was 1 and 2 that did it (after much faffing around).

We leave Harmugstahl and find a dead Spriggan Matron probably down to the forsworn. We picked up some orc armour for him in Harmugstahl.

Next stop Solitude by way of Bruca's Leap and Dragon Bridge.

One of the first things I notice is Ghorza has the same problem as the rest of the DoS orcs. I knew she would have but it still annoyed me. Anyway I had a quick run around town selling loot, discovering a new follower in the Hag's Cure and failing to save Margret.

I enter to the inn to see how many followers I have in there these days. While I'm there I nip into one of the side rooms to sell skooma and when I return to the main room, I find this:

A guy has been murderised and nobody bats an eyelid. The place has gone to the dogs since I was last here. ☹️

Into the Treasury House to sell some skooma. Over-staffed much?

"You aint nothin' but a house dog"

On to the keep. "Bloody hellfire! There's not many of them in a pound." ?

Time for my second annoyance. This is because one of the mage robes from the SAM armour/clothing mods has the missing mesh. I thought I'd swapped all the mages to a different one but I must have missed Calcium, or his sidekick, in the esp. One more for the 'to do' list.

"Spiderman, Spiderman,

He can't do a spider like what I can".

I decided to do New Zealand (sp?) while I was down here. He's new.

Too many cooks spoil the broth?

Time for annoyance number three. I visit the temple to see how many followers I have in there and . . . ?

Why or how she looks like this, I have no idea.

She used to be perfect. XEdit shows nothing; nifskope has the correct paths etc, etc. ☹️ I know this because I exited the game to check. When I reload I have this:

Who, where, what, when, how? My PC decides to go for a new look while I'm busy elsewhere.

I also notice this. I know the solution to this is simple but I have only done it a couple of times and I haven't done it in years so I'm going to have to refresh my memory before I do it. Where did I put my 'to do' list?

I've had enough of Markarth by this time so my plan is to leave and head to the Lover's Stone, Blind Cliff Cave, the Milk place and Karthwasten.

Just outside Markarth gate is a shady, buys stolen goods type guy from a mod so I stop to sell him some loot. I turn around and . . .

Here we go. Forsworn attack. There is a troop of Silver-Blood mercenaries who live outside just to my right plus several more stationed up and down the road. There are also sundry passers-by and guards. It shouldn't involve me so I wait for the looting.

The mercs didn't last long. I enjoyed watching this. The was a guard on the steps outside the gate who stayed there and just stuck with shooting his bow - he actually saw off more forsworn than the mercs and the guards who dived in. At one point there was an unsaddled horse appeared to the left of the carriage and was looking the part for quite a while but eventually dropped. Then a saddled horse come running in from the direction of the stables, gave it big licks briefly before turning tail and galloping off back to the stables. One of the forsworn sent a fireball up its arse to help it on its way.

Eventually I did some looting and left them to it.

Oops.

I almost forgot. While I was in Markarth I enlisted a male follower from a mod. We were attacked by one of the usual lone nutters before we left the city - my man was shit and got flattened and I had to deal with the nutter. I left Markarth and there was no sign of him. ? Fuck him, I'm not going looking for him.

Into Left hand Mine and lo! he decides to turn up. To be fair he may be shit at fighting but his camp beds are something else.

'Badass' my arse. Nevermind, there's plenty more fish in the sea.

I can make some money shaggin' too. "Get yo' skinny white ass over here".

This lad must have been near the front of the queue when SOS was loading.

Forgotten Lair is one huge dungeon. I had been wandering around in there for about five years when who do I bump into? HSO villain Mona the Fire Witch. WTF? And then I died.

Take 2 featured the usual tactic of poisoning my blade, running back into a room full of necromancers, letting them take some of the pep out of her and hopefully coming out on the winning team.

Seeing as the lighting was good in here I decided to give my PC and new look. I did a showracemenu* and had a look at a few presets.

* I call it show rackem enoo. And why not?

I settled on this one, at least for the time being. I wasn't convinced by the hair colour but it'll do for noo.

It lasted until I pulled back the camera about 30 seconds later.

Exit game, go to my Custom Races Redguard textures folder and everything is present and correct. This preset is just a variation of the first one. When I was creating this character I did about 5 or 6 variations. The only things I changed were things like weight, hair style, hair colour etc. They were all the same race, body and skin texture.

I decided to go for a different mesh and skin texture while I was out of the game. I didn't change the preset.

So the body and skin changed to the new ones but the head reverted to the original. ☹️ ?‍♂️

Eventually I finish leave Forgotten Lair my pockets full and my skooma stocks reduced. ?

I exit and get attacked by wolves. Here we go.

I want to drop by Dushnikh Yal (Dushy) to sell some loot but I see a fight going on.

This guy seems to be taking on all-comers.

Whoever he is, he has taken out 10 or 12 forsworn that I can see without looking around too much. He doesn't appear to be hostile to me. Let's hope it stays that way. ?

[Major panic there. I thought I was losing my connection to LL and was going to lose all this. I think it has just gone dog-slow.]

He was non-hostile and was some sort of 'Adventurer' but obviously not one of the lone nutter types who attack me everywhere. I forgot to look to see what mod he was from.

I get to Dushy and . . .

My orcs are from Dames of Skyrim. I've used DoS since it was released years ago. I have never had a moments trouble with DoS. All the vanilla females in Dushy are like this. WTF? ?

It is just the vanillas. Bumzel the Bald is good.

Exit game. XEdit, nifskope, everything fine.

It's one thing when you try something and it screw up something but when something that has been perfect for several years just ups and screws up  . . .

Ivis with the body she has used thus far:

And with the new look. Not much difference, maybe a bit slimmer on t' 'ips. What I should have done is also have a look at the four or so followers who are at the other end of the inn.

I'm having a think about what is going on in the game. I'm level 27 so those HSO villains, although dangerous, should not be that deadly. The same for some of the other things that have been flattening me. ?

The problem, I realise, is that I am mixing my play styles up.

First: I have lots of mods which add extra hostiles to my game and when I play with those mods active I play with lots of followers. If I want to play solo I deactivate a lot of those mods before I start. At the moment I am running with only Ivis as back-up but I still have all my mods active. ?

Second: Regardless of whether I run solo or with a pack of followers, I can use armour in the regular way or do without it and rely on Untamed giving me 'natural' armour from shagging creatures. Thus far I'm not wearing (torso) armour and not really shagging enough creatures. Ergo and ipso facto, my armour rating is nowhere near good enough to cope. ?

So my options are either to deactivate some mods; to get some serious backup; or to get a decent armour rating one way or the other. The only other option is to put off the decision until some time in the future.

After a good 10 seconds of thinking I decide to put off the decision. ? And just to show that I know what I'm doing, I dismiss Ivis. What could possibly go wrong? ?‍♂️

Looking at the image above I realise that the first order of business is to get that energy bar filled.

Hrold Hrolden Hrinn is not the busiest place in Skyrim so time for the off. Gloomreach first, I think.

Not far out of the inn and the first dead bodies. There is usually a Dreugh here but no sign of it.

Closely followed by a dead sabrecat. A group of Pilgrims chasing something up in the top right. My spider senses are tingling.

I can just about make out a riderless horse up ahead. Pilgrims don't ride horses but lone nutter Adventurers do and oh, look a red dot appears on the radar.

Sure enough the Adventurer comes charging down the road and just for laughs all the Pilgrims decide to go hostile too. ☹️ Bugger this.

I stood on this side of the river watching the red dots run up and down the road obviously in some sort of fight with something. It got down to one dot which I assumed was the Adventurer so I moved off. I fired off a few speculative fireballs just for the sake of it. ?

There is usually a friendly Durzhog around here that takes on all-comers - anything from slaughterfish upwards. He doesn't give a flying fuck, you step on his riverbank you face the consequences. Maybe he only works days.

I turn around and nearly trip over a dead wolf. I'm guessing he met the Durzhog.

I get to the junction where you can turn right to go up the hill and a Thalmor Patrol decides to attack me. I dropped a bollock because I ran through them up the hill - it was dark up there and I couldn't see crutch. I ran around like a lunatic launching fireballs and swinging at shadows.

They didn't take long to deal with and I made it to Gloomreach. I'm getting strong HSO villain vibes.

Yep, there she is. Rabbit by name. This shot is from my first attempt as she turned around and killed me very quickly. ? The second attempt involved letting a few falmer do some of the heavy lifting before I stepped in. 

I can't remember this bear or the other dead animals being a feature of this dungeon.

This guy has to be taking the piss. He doesn't even have a proper name, wears rags, lives in a cave with falmer and chaurus yet thinks he can take the moral high-ground.

After leaving Gloomreach with my energy fully charged I am passed by a skeleton sauntering along the path. Friendly enough cove though I've never seen that type before.

A little further on I meet two draugr, like you do. ?‍♂️

A little later, not so good. A dead Hammerfell Bandit and a dead Goblin. I don't remember Hammerfell Bandits round these parts before and they travel in groups.

Some civilised folk for once.

I decide to take a detour up the the hill and get attacked by a Huge Cave Bear who isn't in his huge cave.

Closely followed by an attack by a sabrecat. Then I find this.

When we entered this chamber there were three dwarven things. I ran down to engage and Ivis stood watching at the top of the stairs. I killed these three then three more pop out of those big pipe things. Ivis ran to here, went into block while I dealt with the second three. Thanks Ivis.

The real problem began when I turned round to see this step out.

First round to the big guy. Thanks Ivis.

Borked defeat sequence so reload.

Two can play at that game so on the second attempt I made sure Ivis was involved then let her meet the Centurion first. She went down and I did my mad run around launching fireballs routine.

Finally ready to leave Forgotten Station and do the Sinkhole but before we go . . .

 .  .  . does my bum look big in this?

Five in the morning and it seems quiet enough. Too quiet?

Hmm. My succubus needs to do some shaggin' get to get her energy levels back up to speed  - stats will be taking a hit at this level. ☹️

The quiet doesn't last long.

Waterfish an HSO villain. She spams frost then fire then comes at you with a sword while all the time whizzing around at 100mph. Between being blinded by the fire and her whizzing around she is a nightmare to land a blow on.

"Oh woe is me. I am undone"  - again.

How difficult can it be to get from one end of Soljund's to the other?

A reload or two later and Waterfish is no more. Just as I'm stood trying to gather my shattered nerves a guard comes strolling along like nothing has happened.

I can't remember an HSO villain ever showing up before we entered the sinkhole though. ?

Thirty game minutes gone and we aren't at the sinkhole yet.

Before we can go anywhere a fight start up near the Forgotten Station so off we go to see what is happening.

One dead Vigilant found so maybe a Forsworn did it. Nothing for us to worry about anyway so back to the sinkhole.

We pass an SE user. Probably looking for a good spot for some fishing.

Note that Ivis is doing that wait and then run to catch up thing again.

Finally we are in the sinkhole. Time to top up those energy levels.

You know how in football with a free kick just outside the penalty area the attacking team often puts a man in the wall?

Anyway we do the needful in the Sinkhole and exit. . .

 . . . straight into an HSO villain called Kirin. FFS. ?

She's not too bad. Apart from the shout or whatever it is that bounces you off walls and whatnot she is mostly melee.

We nip back up to the trader at the other end of the street to sell some loot. When we exit the shop we run into yet another HSO villain, this time it is Pig Man who we last met near the giant camp after crossing the river just before Roriksted. FFS, FFS. I most definitely do not recall ever before having to fight three HSO villains in Soljund's Sinkhole.

Pig Man's not too bad if you survive his initial onslaught. He can dish it out but he can't take it. Especially if you pull up your inventory and poison your weapon. ?

Two hours after leaving Forgotten Station we finally leave Soljund's Sinkhole. Just to remind us that we can't relax we pass a dead troll on the way out.

We get to Hrold Hrolden Inn where we are attacked by mandatory lone nutter. We had help from a Friendly Riekling.

Looking at the image I've just realised why my energy level is still so low after shagging umpteen draugr.  I have PSQ set to not get energy from undead. ?

With the emphasis on 'friendly' apparently.

No rush. Whenever you are finished.

The door to the inn, so near yet so far.

The action seems to be round the back of the inn. No idea who these people are but the bad guys were necromancers who attack the village from the back here. That's been happening for about a year now, no idea what mod it is. Probably just coincidence but they started not long after I edited the HSO esp to stop the attacks by the ash hoppers.

Excitement over we head for the traders to sell our loot. We aren't in there five minutes when we come out . . .

I'm just about to move on when I realise there are a couple of people I haven't seen.

Ah, there they are. Meet Ivy and Enoch from HSO. The seating problem, I'm guessing, is because I recently installed JK's Whiterun SE. I should look into why Ivy is naked I suppose.

Right we are ready for the offski.

I take a look back at Rorikstead. Thanks Ivis. You just can't get the staff these days.

I turn around and we have our first sign of trouble. Forsworn, Flame Atronachs and fireballs. Effin hell. Not sure who is fighting who but there is Moldering Ruins off to the left so we will pop in there.

Mystery solved? A dead Imperial. Possibly a Warzones gig.

Usually we would be getting attacked by Death Hounds about now but no sign of them so we make it into the vampire den without further ado. We arrive just as the fighting is finishing. Against an HSO villain would be my guess and it is a good one.

More vampires than usual in there plus a cage from Inte's cage mod. And the dead HSO villain.

I decide to pay a quick visit to Breakwind Bluff and on the way find a dead Death Hound. Lesson to be learned: Never mistake a Forsworn for the postman.

We doing alright for once. Not had to do any fighting so far and still picked up a bit of loot. ? How long will it last though?

We get to the top of Breakwind Bluff just as the fighting comes to an end. Yet another HSO villain, this time Sanguine's Puppy who is a bit of a waste of time compared to the rest of the villains.

We arrive at our destination without any incidents.

A nice shot if I say so myself. It looks so peaceful but I'm not fooled.

Not too bad, a couple of Knights of the Raging Bear. A third one attacked a bit further on but we had help from a couple of Friendly Riekling mine guards. ? I'm surprised there were not more of the Knights but maybe they got into a fight with the Forsworn who hang around near to where I took the previous shot from.

So we made it. Now our first place to visit will be that Dwemer tower on the radar. Forgotten Station or some-such. Easy enough place, no falmer just mechanical dwarven this and that. After that we do the mine which wont be a problem. The problem comes once we walk out of the mine. An HSO villain runs amok. I can't remember which villain it is but I know it is generally a pain.

This is us just at the exit of the ruin. The river is just below the bandit fort and the road is not far behind it with Rorikstead off to the right somewhere.

I've not been this way since the beginning of the year but if memory serves, the fort is crowded and there are some other things which get pulled in if you go anywhere near it. So . . . ?

 . . . no thank you. We will try another route.

If we head around the ruin in the other direction we get - Rannveig's Fast. I try to remember where the exit comes out but fail miserably.

I do remember that an HSO villain turns up in there. I also recall bandits attacking outside the place. Up we go.

We get up there, no sign of any bandits but there are a bunch of Zombie Dogs. There was something I've been wondering about them.

Obviously the answer was in the affirmative. ?

We had a bit of trouble with the HSO villain - it took about three attempts to kill her. I think I've broke Naked Defeat as Ivis no longer seems to be involved in it. When the HSO villain put me down she kept on fighting killed the villain and broke things. Hence the three attempts. I had to make her wait while I did tgm and went in alone.

Not much else in there so we killed Sild, looted and left. (I'm awarding myself an extra point for the alliteration).

On exiting the first thing we see is a troop of goblins taking on a mammoth.

We turn right and head down the hill to a bandit camp. Only three bandits and they went down easily enough. Looks like they had just been fighting Zombie Dogs.

We survey the scene and weigh our options. The scene says my LODs are still not right (LODs hate me) but the issue is can I get down from up here without getting too close to the fort. At this point I'm starting to get unpleasant memories and I'm wondering if crossing the river in broad daylight is such a good idea.

Note the beauty spot and the giant camp markers on the radar.

As luck would have it, there is another FD Nordic ruin down there on this side of the river.

We kill some time in there. Huge place but shoddy on the loot front.

We get down to the river and it looks like my memories didn't let me down for once. Note the beauty spot and the giant camp marker to get an idea of where we are relative to the fort.

I'm not liking the look of that level 50 fellow. We offer prayers to the gods of Navmesh and Pathfinding that they can't cross the river. We decide to move to the right and try further downstream. Well I moved downstream while Ivis decided to stay here. ?

Darkness falls and I decide to make my move. I remember that the giant here is one of the aggressive variety so I run across the river, straight through the camp, turn to see what's happening and stagger forward as I get a power attack to the back of my napper form Pigman, an HSO villain, who has decided to appear out of the blue. Five seconds after this image was taken I'm dead.

River crossing take 2.

After the reload I decide to move even further downstream before attempting to cross. Ivis is still way upstream aggroing the bandits. Unfortunately there are more bandits here but they are fighting another group of bandits. ?‍♂️

I engage in a bout of sniping with fireballs and get down to the last few bandits who are on my side of the river. Ivis decided to turn up at about this point.

By the time we had chased down the last of the bandits we weren't far from Orotheim so . . .

Eleven bandits and a dog later and Orotheim is ours.

Finally we get across the river and not long after I have completely lost my bearings. I can't reconcile the picture in head of where I think we are with what the radar is saying. Partly that is down to the stream. I can't recall there being running water up here.

Let's have a look at the map.

Too far NE, gotcha.

We blunder about for a bit longer until at last I spot somewhere I recognise.

We had to kill a bunch of bandits and Hammerfell bandits but Ivis put in a man of the match performance. After we finished fighting the one surviving slave made of those comments about me not looking well so I checked. ?

Not so clever and I haven't got a potion. Maybe I can get one in Rorikstead if the place still inhabited after all this time.

We start down to the hill on what, hopefully, will be the last leg of the journey. We've not gone 100 yards, let alone 100 metres, when we are attacked by a sabrecat. Not a big deal except . . .

I should check Ivis. She might have caught half-wit bane. ?

Ta-bloody-Da!

Due to a recent series of unfortunate events involving inns I am ready for anything once I step through the door. Nothing happened initially but it wasn't long before a solo nutter came in from somewhere.

Old Skyrim proverb.

The plan was to head for Markarth using the main road but now I'm thinking across the plain to Rorikstead, up over the plateau and on to Markarth that way. The fact that I can pick up some Nightshade (skooma ingredient) from Hamvir's Rest makes the decision.

Girls go West.

At this point I realise that half the day has already gone which means we are going to be lucky to get to anywhere civilised before nightfall. ?

We don't get off to a great start as I run and jump over that rocky thing only to realise that the drop on the other side is a lot bigger than anticipated. It didn't do any damage but Ivis wasn't for having it so I had to stand around waiting for her as she took the scenic route.

Only gone a few paces when we have our first encounter with a rhino, a woolly rhino no less. It looked like an acrylic rhino to me but I'm not an expert on pachyderms. One thing I did learn here is that a rhino can take out a wolf quicker than I can draw my sword. Luckily the beast was friendly enough.

A few yards more and we get to Breakwind Basin. Now in my game there at at least three different types of giant and they fall into three groups - friendly; friendly if you don't come too close; and downright hostile. I'm looking at three giants and at least three mammoths and thinking that these are in either the second or third group.

Time for our first cunning plan. Run through the camp, snaffle the nirnroot and keep running before the giants can react. Pray that Ivis doesn't do anything stupid.

It wasn't entirely down to Ivis. We had just made it through the camp without incident when my radar lit up and my outfit enchantment kicked in. I spun around to see Ivis giving it plenty with here greatsword. There was a rhino, at least one mammoth and maybe something else all with the green effect from a spriggan. This sent all the giants and mammoths hostile so time for a sharp exit and no mistake.

Luckily there was a fight going on nearby between Stormies and Imps courtesy of Warzones. So I ran through that fight with the giants and mammoths in tow. Looks like Ivis has taken one for the team.

This is going to take a while.

Hmm. Fighting to the west that has nothing to do with me.

Fighting to the north that has nothing to do with me. Still no sign of Ivis. ?

At this point I turned east just in time to find the giants and mammoths almost on top of me so off I ran again. Time for a cunning plan - cheese tactic combo. Head for Dustman's Cairn, drag in that fight going on in the previous screenshot and hope that the skellies and draugr at Hamvir's Rest get involved.

Well I made it to Dustman's and the giants got sidetracked by something but . . .

I should point out at this stage that:

(i) I am either just short of level 25 or just turned level 25.

(ii) It has taken just short of 4 hours to get from Whiterun to Dustman's Cairn even though most of that time was spent running.

(iii) I am still short one follwer.

Bring it on.

Boo!

The mammoth can't get in but my fireballs can get out. Just finished dealing with the mammoth when a giant showed up but he must have been at death's door as one fireball finished him.

Time to weigh up the situation.

Fireball en route to finish off one mammoth and a giant still standing but hopefully only just.

Unfortunately the giant was still in tip-top condition. Oh look. I think he wants a word. ☹️

So I jump back into Dustman's Cairn except . . .

 . . . giants can do that too. ?

"You don't have enough Magicka" is not what I want to hear at this stage. The giant is struggling with the concept of steps but I don't know how long this will last.

Hopes raised only to be cruelly dashed as 3 draugr enter stage right and jump in. Sadly they jumped in just as one of my fireballs landed so they only lasted as long as it took for the giant to do 3 hits. A few seconds later a skellie enters stage left and gets one-shotted by the giant. A few seconds after that a second skellie does a rinse and repeat.

Meanwhile I learn that it requires a lot of fireballs to take down a full health level 58 Giant Beserker.

I'm old enough to remember when I had a follower named 'Ivis'. I suppose I should go and look for her before the light goes.

I backtrack as far as Silent Moons when I see a large running battle between who knows. I try to get a bit closer to see if Ivis is involved . . .

 . . .  When the time comes to write the history of stupid, this will go down as the most stupid thing on Stupid Street in Stupidtown. I was spotted.

I was doing okay running around like a lunatic, desperately looking for some friendlies to drag in until I learned that ash hoppers can run as fast as hell and still have time to hurt you from behind. Bugger!

Naked Defeat kicked in and we go into a run of captured, shagged, fight - captured, shagged, fight until all the bandits have gone.

This was the last one who just wandered off after the sex.

At least Ivis has turned up.

So onwards and upwards. I get my nightshade from Hamvir's and we continue towards Rorikstead and en route we bump into, near Greenspring Hollow I think, some Zombie Dogs who are new to me (I'm guessing Demonic Creatures).

Not far from Greenspring Hollow is a bandit camp next so the water. We get into a running fight with the bandits and initially we are doing okay.

The bandits' numbers eventually tell and I get captured.

Game goes south.

Thing get confusing at this point. Naked Defeat kicks in, does it's thing then we get back to fighting. We get to having only 4 bandits left, I get captured and Ivis is down, the ND sequence starts, Ivis recovers and takes out the three bandits who are waiting for their turn. This borked things. This borked things good style.

To unbork things took forever. Cancel running animations in SLF - no. Debug option in ND - no. Save, exit, clean save - no. Save, exit, manually clean save (by pure guesswork) - partial success. Save, exit, manually clean some more - more partial success. There may have been one or two more of those until I got to the stage where I could walk but not access the inventory or the MCMs, couldn't draw my weapon or cast a fireball. Ivis had gone into bleedout at some point but I now had her up on her feet with her weapon drawn but she wouldn't sheathe it. I wracking my brains here as I know I've had this before but it was years ago.

I decide to carry on anyway in the hope that something clicks. It does! A sneaky suspicion appears in the back of my mind. We carry on until we come across a pair of Vigilants in the middle of nowhere who have just taken out some vampires. Time to see if my suspicion is correct. I ask one of the viggies if they are interested in sex, courtesy of TDF APP. Bingo! He is and the animation kicks in.  Animation does its thing and then ends. And . . . I do a couple of shudders and Ivis sheathes her weapon. A few key presses later and everything is good. A close call there as my last non quicksave would be the autosave on leaving Whiterun.

After approximately 16 hours we are about half way to Rorikstead. Who needs fast travel? ?