As I reached to flush the toilet, I caught wind of an onion-like smell. Frantically sniffing, I looked around the bathroom. “Is that me?!” I said aloud, immediately smelling my underarms. Yes, it was most definitely me. When was the last time I showered? What day is it? Did I eat yesterday? I looked at my reflection in the mirror, leaning close. I ran my hand along the length of my bush of a beard. Pulling back, I stood still and absorbed the man looking back at me. With a sigh, I looked to the shower. I supposed it was time I took one of those.

I turned the water on. The old pipes squeaked and vibrated through the walls. The water trickled out, cold as ice. It always took forever to get hot water to emerge. I kicked off my boxers and stood outside the shower, naked and chilled. With a blank stare I watched the water swirl down the rusty drain. I reached my hand in to test – ah yes – warm droplets greeted my hand. Carefully, I stepped in.

With my back to the shower head, I closed my eyes and let the warm water hold me. I watched the little paths it took as it meandered around the swells of my muscles. I wondered why I hadn’t done this sooner. It was like exercise – you start off dreading it, but once you’re out there, you wonder why the hell you ever stopped. I turned toward the shower head so the water could spill onto my face. I tipped my head and watched the water stream downward from my unkempt hair.

It felt so good. The water became warmer, steamy. I ran my hand down my chest and reached for my cock. This was always one of my favorite times to jerk off. It was already a bit thick, which I assumed was simply from my body’s arousal system becoming activated by the warmth of the shower. I cupped my balls and my dick, which was too much to hold in just one hand. I gave it a firm squeeze and gently massaged it all. I formed a soap lather in my hands and began to stroke. With my arm, I leaned against the shower wall, closed my eyes and slowly ran my hand up and down my cock. It quickly stood up, full and big. It’s pink tip looked so alive as I did dirty things to it while covered in soap. I groaned with pleasure, with need, with agony.

I closed my eyes and imagined her – no this time a petite, fair skinned, woman from Asia. She’s so tiny, I could break her with just a hug. Normally a woman this tiny is a no-go, but right now…I want to force her to take it. We’re alone, in the deep, back woods of my property. I had enticed her with a romantic view of a glowing, full moon. She’s comfortable with my kisses and my hand wonders to her small, sweet tits. I arouse her nipple and it plumps beneath my finger.

I feel her body become tense as I run my fingers up her stretchy, little black skirt. I’m greeted by the lace of her panties, snug against her skin like a tattoo. In one smooth movement, I tug them down to her ankles. She winces, wide-eyed and looks to me, “I’d like to keep things light tonight. Let’s save this for another time.” We seem in sync on one level because she can read that I don’t agree with her suggestion.

As she reaches for her panties, I swiftly remove my clothes, flip her over onto her stomach and climb atop her. I don’t want her to panic, just yet. I kiss her neck and rub my hands along her waist and firm little ass. I lean in and whisper, “I want you, and I want you tonight.”

I pull her up to her feet and demand her to stand still. I want her to see my cock and be afraid of what’s coming. I envision her pretty face, looking up at me as I tower over her, eyes wide with both curiosity and fear at seeing such a monstrous appendage.

I place my hands on both of her shoulders and push her to her knees so she’s eye level with my cock. With this view, she has a full understanding of why I need her tonight. When a beast is hungry, it must hunt – it’s ravenous hunger must be satisfied, and its prey has no choice in the matter. As we are out here in the wilds of nature, we do as natures beasts do.

Now that I’ve shown her mine, I want to see hers. “Lie down”, I demand. Hesitantly obeying me, she sits but determinedly defends the gem between her legs. I smile, finding her cute in the moment. I kneel, pry her legs apart, and am pleased to discover a pussy so small it appears sealed shut.

Upon laying my eyes on her velvety folds, my cock throbs, reminding me that it can no longer withstand such teasing. Light as a feather, I finagle her atop me, spit into my hand and glide my slippery fingers between her lips until I find her tight hole. I guide my cock, throbbing with a life of it’s own, to her pussy. She’s crying and pleading with me to be gentle. At this point, she knows better than to ask me to stop.

Feeling the warmth of her pussy against my swollen tip, I frantically grab her hips and pull her downward. Initially, she doesn’t budge and screams out as my cock has no choice but to slowly stretch her small tunnel. I lift her and her cries ease, but then forcefully shove her back down. She howls as my cock forces her open, filling all the space between her hips. Just the pressure alone is bringing me close to an enormous explosion.

My cock, so hard, doesn’t give or bend. The greenish veins bulge as her pussy relentlessly chokes it. It’s her instinctual way of fighting back, voraciously victimizing my mind as everything I have is fueling my now dangerously powerful cock. I watch her face and I’m increasingly able to bring her further down, closer to me. Tears stream down her face, with each thrust she loudly winces. Her once calm, gentle lips are now red and swollen as they struggle to swallow this monster prying them open.

I’m fucking close. I can hardly take any more of it, but I don’t want to end before I fuck her from behind. Once again, I reposition us, her ass in the air, her pussy puffy. I guide my cock to it, and jam it in.

This time, we both cry out as I bury myself into her. I grab her hips and I thrust and groan. Thrust and groan. THRUST AND GROAN. Oh fuck! I separate my legs a bit to ground myself as I prepare for this. One more thrust and…..

The voice of the beast between my legs speaks through me as I growl and howl at the moon as I cum. My prey sobs, fearing that I may actually fully transform into a beast. She looks back at me to see the veins of my neck protrude, my face red as I struggle to survive this explosion. My legs grow weak and tremble as I endure this animalistic release.

Little does she know, but to this beast, I am a victim, too. With a suction sound, I pull myself out and immediately fall to my knees. Residual cum oozes from me as my cock, heavy, starts to rest. She lies on the ground, shuddering, reaching for her aching pussy. With a trembling hand, she gently slides her finger between her legs and discovers a burning, gaping hole. Her crying picks up again as she realizes her once perfect pussy is now painfully disfigured.

She winces and moans as I tell her to stand and bend over for me. She does. “Legs apart”, I instruct. She sniffles, reaches to the ground and holds a wide V stance. Dear god, I destroyed her. Surrounded by raw, swollen lips resides a wide, black hole. Her cries grow louder as it stretches while bending.

I sit and catch my breath, looking at the piece of art I both created and destroyed.

I opened my eyes to find myself on the shower floor, backed into a corner. I looked to my cock and realized it was tremendously sore from such a beating. I don’t think I’d ever gotten off that hard before or have gotten so lost in a fantasy. I had actually lost touch with reality for a few moments. Scary.

I finished up my shower and, now exhausted, decided to lie down for a moment. For the first time in a long time, I felt surprisingly satisfied. Though, simultaneously, I felt sick. How could I get such satisfaction from basically raping a woman? How could this be my “thing”? Should I suppress this? Do I dare allow myself to go there again?

I told myself that the answer ought to be no, but as usual, the bulge between my legs beckoned, YES! And the ONLY answer would be to take this to a new level. If it meant ruining pussies, rather than running from them, that’s what I’d do.

This behavior, delusional yet completely real, is not unfamiliar to me. I’ve struggled with depression for as long as I can remember. I’ve found that most people around me didn’t understand. Usually, I got a firm slap on the back followed by advice to “man up” or “stop being a pussy”.  In the moment I let their words sit with me and I can temporarily, perhaps for that day or for a few hours, believe that I’m just being ungrateful and selfish. I pick myself up by the bootstraps and continue with whatever I’m doing with false vigor. This, in case you’ve ever wondered, explains why a loved one might say after a suicide, “I never knew he was depressed. He was always so happy”.

Lately, when I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize myself. My dark eyes sunken, muscles withered, beard out of control – this shell of a man disgusts me.

I’ve been black-out drinking almost every night and wake up in the morning reaching for more. The days merge and when I open my eyes to see a glowing, orange sky, I’m not sure whether the sun is rising or setting.

I find reprieve in my sexual fantasies, since I can’t seem to manage real sex.  

I imagine a busty blonde, teasing me with a preview of what’s to come by willingly exposing her tits and her tiny, pink hole

Before I know it, she’s mounted and riding my horse cock. She’s an animal too, and she can take it all. Her pussy stretches taught around the thickest part; she cries out every time she stretches that wide. But she wants more, she loves when her pussy swells from the beating and lord knows I do too.

Her big, fleshy tits wobble in my face – they spill from my hands as I squeeze them.

That has been one of my most frequented fantasies – a simple one to make my dick swell and then release, making a huge mess. Yes, with a huge dick comes massive amounts of cum. But lately I’ve needed more than this blonde fantasy. While it’s nice to imagine a horny woman spreading and begging for me, I want to demand it from her. I’m tired of sex being all about what the woman is comfortable with. What about me? I’ve lived my life so concerned about not hurting women, but because of that I’m now a fucking loner.

I know I need to make some real changes here; I need to clean myself up and get out of the house. I’ve got to find a woman. I want to make a woman mine. I want one that I can fuck whenever I want. I’ll stretch her pussy wider than it’s ever been before and I don’t fucking care if it hurts.

Yes. I need to get out of the house. It’s time to scout.

Since I was 15, I’ve had a sex addiction. To be kind, perhaps it hasn’t been an addiction, but it’s been a coping mechanism and form of pleasure for me. Ha, I guess those are major components of addiction. I used to masturbate around a dozen times per day back then. Internet porn was just becoming available to me, and I had a massive porn stash. I spent hours in my room, alone, watching people fuck and women flaunt their bodies. Tits were my thing, sometimes I’d just spend hours searching the web for “huge tits” and jerk off whenever I found a pair that turned me on. I was mesmerized by the female form and couldn’t think of a more perfect creation.

Even at 32, I’m constantly touching myself, and quite often unknowingly. For example, if I’m watching tv, my hands are down my pants, gripping my dick. This, unsurprisingly, arouses me and then I need to jerk off. So, imagine just how often I’m doing that.

There’s not really much to share about myself when it comes to accomplishments though, I do have a B.S. in Information Technology. That’s my line of work – I’m a boring IT guy who spends way too much time on computers. I’ve never been married, have zero kids, and am currently single. I live in an absolute dump, but there’s an explanation for this. From my grandfather, I inherited a generous piece of land which included a shack of a house. It’s set far off the street, buried deep within old, towering trees. It’s incredibly quiet and serene. I hear owls hooting during the night and the leaves rustling with the wind. Once all the legalities of it were complete, I decided to move out of my outrageously expensive and small apartment to live there. With the land came a hefty inheritance, so, I also quit my IT job to focus on other things for a while. My plan was to tear down the shack, clean up the property and build a new home. I didn’t want anything extravagant, of course, but a new house suitable for a man like myself – single and needing an obscene amount of privacy, it would certainly do.

I haven’t started renovations just yet, I’m compiling information about logistics and what I’ll need. So, for now, it’s in complete squalor, but at the very least, I had somebody come out and connect me to the internet. Lord knows I need my porn.

One of the very first questions I tend to be asked is why I’ve never been married. I’ve been told by many that I’m a good-looking man. I mean, I’m tall, big, strong, and very masculine looking. I suppose one could say I have attributes of the ideal, “sexy man”. And to that, I can nod my head in agreement, however, there are quirks about me that others generally don’t know. As I’ve previously explained, there’s the sex addition thing. Basically, all the women I’ve dated couldn’t match or refused to submit to my overwhelming need for sex. So, there’s been no serious monogamy for this guy.

There’s another thing I haven’t mentioned. My theory is that women often can’t physically handle sex with me. Period. I have a monstrous cock, as in, it’s fucking huge. My cock can outshine any pornstar out there, believe me, I’ve probably seen it all. Even with my own large hands, I can’t fully grip it at its thickest girth. I quite literally have injured women with it, though that’s never been my intention. I, like anybody else, want love and sex, but with this heavy beast between my legs I scare women away.

Here’s another theory. I’ve often wondered if my libido is through the roof because it’s so big. I mean, it’s always just….there. It’s visible through my pants, at least, there’s a huge bulge. When I sit, it forms a big mound in my lap. I’m constantly adjusting myself and sometimes just the simple gesture of my hand moving my dick gets it all excited. It brushes up against things because its, well, out there. I’m hyper aware of it being noticeable, too, when just out in public. I constantly feel it brush against my thighs because I usually wear boxers. Other types of more supportive underwear tend to fit too tightly, especially because I get so many erections throughout the day.

I don’t know, maybe those are just side notes, not reasons. To put it plainly, my sex drive is out of this world and because I have a massive dick, there’s little I can do about it when it comes to women. Therefore, I’m left sexually frustrated, angry, anxious, and uncomfortable. I’ll just say it, I’ve been unfulfilled by never having a long-term partner and honestly, it’s quite depressing. I do, though, have hope that I’ll find a woman who is the perfect fit. Ha! See what I did there?

Here’s another fun fact. I’ve never been able to insert my entire cock into a woman. When watching porn, I’m envious of the guys who can plunge all the way into a pussy. It’s so fucking erotic how close and intense that looks. And God, watching women ride a cock, sit all the way down and grind on the guy is, for me, the stuff dreams are made of. I want to feel her warm, tight pussy grind against me as I fill her up. For huge-dick guys like me, if there are any others, this is only a fantasy.

I don’t know if I’ll ever find what I’m looking for, but I’m becoming achingly desperate. Desperate people can commit horrendous acts, so lately I’ve been jerking off even more often as a means of taming myself. I, at the very least, get some temporary relief from my worries after I cum. But the urges are becoming too frequent and are becoming increasingly powerful. The possibilities as to solving this are taking me to some dark and unexplored places…