Jump to content

How to deal with mild-social anxiety?


playprey

Recommended Posts

Greetings,

 

Odd place for me to ask this but everywhere else I get replies that doesn't help the slightest...

 

I am 19 year's old and ive been single my entire life, I want to meet new people but it has often ended up badly which has made me afraid of making mistakes when talking to people, I am very quiet if anything. 

 

Now it's been a few years since I even met a new girl but I doubt much has changed.

 

Any advice when talking to a girl? :)

 

If you have any questions that could be personal in order to help me, PM them,- Ill reply but I don't want them public. 

 

Link to comment

Don't consider or treat women any different than how you would speak to a man. Be yourself. If confidence is something that is difficult to come by just be honest.

 

You're still quite young. Only 19 you have not entered your golden years yet.

 

I am 30 still single and I have immense social anxiety to the point where I am a extreme introvert. Maybe I should practice what I preach eh? :P

Link to comment

i was like you- was. i changed.

maybe you should change too.

really good advice to starting a

conversation would be to be 

charming, confident, and interesting.

you got those three tools and it

will take you far. 

Link to comment

i was like you- was. i changed.

maybe you should change too.

really good advice to starting a

conversation would be to be 

charming, confident, and interesting.

you got those three tools and it

will take you far. 

I can't say I'm confident, should I just pretend to be? haha.

Don't consider or treat women any different than how you would speak to a man. Be yourself. If confidence is something that is difficult to come by just be honest.

 

You're still quite young. Only 19 you have not entered your golden years yet.

 

I am 30 still single and I have immense social anxiety to the point where I am a extreme introvert. Maybe I should practice what I preach eh? :P

Good point.. Guess I'm just jealous of everyone that have found one they can share their life with. 

Link to comment

 

i was like you- was. i changed.

maybe you should change too.

really good advice to starting a

conversation would be to be 

charming, confident, and interesting.

you got those three tools and it

will take you far. 

I can't say I'm confident, should I just pretend to be? haha.

Don't consider or treat women any different than how you would speak to a man. Be yourself. If confidence is something that is difficult to come by just be honest.

 

You're still quite young. Only 19 you have not entered your golden years yet.

 

I am 30 still single and I have immense social anxiety to the point where I am a extreme introvert. Maybe I should practice what I preach eh? :P

Good point.. Guess I'm just jealous of everyone that have found one they can share their life with. 

 

I know exactly how you feel, I'm still fairly young myself and haven't met anyone. I get the standard "be confident, fake it til you make it" spiel all the damn time but if you ask me that's terrible advice, I just don't know how to fake confidence. Like Molevalence said, be yourself. One of my best friends actually first approached me because, in her words, "your awkwardness is cute".

 

Frankly, the best advice I can offer is that you have time, so take that time. Don't bother wasting energy trying to force a friendship, that worked out badly for me. Most of my friends approached me first because I have zero confidence, but that's not necessarily a bad thing even if it feels like it at our ages. It is difficult at times, I wont pretend it's not, but ultimately it means I make friends with people like me who aren't always comfortable in social situations, who understand. That kind of person can be the best kind of friend because they understand and value their friends- I've had some rough times in the past few years with multiple major operations and to be honest I was terrified my friends would go do their own thing when they realised I wasn't able to do the same things they could. Instead they literally visited my house uninvited to just chat for ten minutes when I couldn't go visit them myself. Introverts are awesome once you get to know them past that introverted first impression.

 

In short, in my experience the people who are worth knowing don't need you to be confident or outgoing. But with regards to women, I'm not even going to try to give you any advice. It would be a tad hypocritical considering I haven't met a girl like that either.

Link to comment

The only way I got out of it was by literally roleplaying the shit out of it. When I dated I pretended to be mysterious and charming, pretending to be someone else really, definitely, helps to pick up women. The problem is though.. they fall for that guy you pretended to be and when they find out who you really are. Then you get the choice of keeping on pretending (like I did) or not. Eventually after 10 years of marriage it fell apart and now I'm nearly 40 and back to sqaure 1.

 

So listen up, solider... The only advice I can give is three fold:

 

1) Speak and learn as many people as you can. Join a hobby club if you're into a hobby, get friends, not girlfriends, just friends. Get to know as many new people as you can. It's the law of numbers, speak to as much different individuals as you can. But choose them in a place of your liking. If you're a fan of a tv show, go to the cons, become part of a fanclub, anything to become part of new social circles.

 

2) BE YOUR FUCKING SELF.

With all your doubts, with all your fears and anxieties. Speak about them with as many people as you can, speak openly about them and they will dissipate. Never hide your true self, because the person who would love that TRUE self will never get to know him if you don't show them. There are many women that like quirky, quiet men. If your quirky and quiet, be quirky and quiet, but do so while you follow advice 1. Be quirky and quiet around other people. If you're not, then don't be. If you're a clutz, be a clutz. Whatever you are, be yourself and see as many new people that you can.

 

3) Tell to people that you get to know (both men and women) that you are single and open for a new relationship. All those new people that you got to know at the hobbyclub, electricity club, fanclub, comic con etc..etc... will keep their eyes open for you. Secretly, everyone likes to be a match maker, give them the opportunity.

 

As soon as I'm out of this drag of a marriage I will follow these three pieces of advice whole heartedly.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. For more information, see our Privacy Policy & Terms of Use