What's on your mind?

[Stross97]

I have extreme personality flaws that, I assume, have some form of undiagnosed problem(s) behind them. I constantly try to justify my thoughts and actions and other things that happen to me, but it brings little comfort. Somewhere, something in my mind is telling me that I'm the cause of all my problems, and whether or not that is true, I can't help but believe it. I din't grow up in the best of homes, and family life was.... dysfunctional, to say the least, but it was, in no way, the worst place to grow up, either. (NOTE: I'm not looking for a pity party. I'm just getting this off my mind.) Although I wasn't really physically abused, I was verbally and emotionally abused (yes, I know a lot of people don't believe in abuse that's not physical, but it exists). I tend to try and hold that accountable for my lack of any form of decent social skills, near constant depression and anxiety, and my fear of letting people, who care about me, know how I feel. The major problems come when I try to deal with my emotional state of mind. Due to my childhood, I learned to hide my feelings, keep my thoughts quiet, and compartmentalize my life in a way that has probably done more harm than good. My family knows the least about me, my thoughts, and my feelings. I have become more and more disconnected from them as time goes on, and I feel less appreciated. I'm struggling to cling to the ropes of success from my family members and that's causing me to see myself as a failure. I avoid talking to them about this because, I don't want a lot of questions to be thrown at me. My friends, on the other hand, each have their own specialized purpose. One of them, even though they're there for me and all, doesn't fit into the niche for me to talk about how I feel. I get uncomfortable with that. The other was there for a kind of emotional support when I was overwhelmed and finally snapped, but.... Not so much anymore. And that's it. Two friends. I'm horrible with trying to make friends, but I justify it by telling myself "Quality over quantity, Stross, quality over quantity." I don't want or need a lot of friends, but... I really don't know what I want... I'm done with this now. I may come back to add on some thoughts. I know this is excessively long, but the name of the thread is "What's on your mind?" This is what's on mine.

[reaper66689]

been thinking who a better pm for the uk may or a trained monkey

[Captain Cobra]

'NORTED AQUA WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Di3sIrae]

@Stross97 Oh, i came here to talk what was on my mind and your post made me think about it, so let's say this is what is on my mind.
Although i consider myself a person with a good quality of mind, so no anxiety or depression (actually i am very calm and patient, and overall, happy), the part of friends suits me well (and even not having a troubled childhood, i don't quite feel confortable talking about some things with my family). See, i have lots of people that i know and can consider friends. But i have tons of things that i have no one to talk about. And sometimes i just wish that i had someone to talk about anything, and i don't have. I do have a friend that i like and that would listen to me, but kinda i don't want to bother him with some things. And all the others. I just think that some things are just not for everyone. Just like you, i don't want people to know what i am trully feeling because they will make questions, think of things that are not true or just become preoccupated.

And i came here to tell what was on my mind. That i don't know what to do with my life, must find a new job but i am not sure of what i want to do. Some things i wanted to do i am not doing. No one to really talk about these things. My parents are absolutely against me trying to make a life in another country (i just started to dislike here more than ever), and i think that only doing a big change things will get on their way again. Also i don't like to go out and because of this i can't meet new people, and i need and want to. Finding the love of my life wound't be bad too xD
I think i will give some time and see how things will go on.

Stross, i know it is hard sometimes, but try living more for yourself, so there is nothing to expect, no one to compare, and no delusions. Just you. All the other things comes as a bonus. And give importance for the little things is good too. Maybe some people are not what we want but they help the way they can

[flutie]

I WANT CLOSURE

, WHY , EVERYTHING I DO, I MISS HIM

 

[Tripleekz]

You all suffer from gaming disorder.

A new medical study says so. Personally I feel it is the same old shit, first alcoholism was medicalized so they could make money off those who are addicted to alcohol by calling alcoholism a disease.

Now to Make even more money off the gaming industry they medicalized it and call it "Gaming disorder".

And now we get to watch parents go sue crazy for every single little twitch there kids develope. Once you give something a medical name it becomes open season on that industry.

[Captain Cobra]

We're losing a whole generation of young men to video games.

We're losing a whole generation of young men to rock n' roll.

We're losing a whole generation of young men to hot-rodding.

We're losing a whole generation of young men to comic books.

We're losing a whole generation of young men to cattle rustling.

[Reginald_001]

44 years old... Just exercised through my pain for the first time in my life. I always gave up! This time I found the power to continue. My body is shaking and it's hard to lift my arms, or even move my legs, but I love it. What I love even more is how quick my body is shaping up. I've been gaining weight in all sorts of places and I find I'm eating so much more these days.. Shit I lover power training.

[Vacaliga]

Come on let's twist again

Like we did last summer!

Yeah, let's twist agai.......

 

Ahhh! Get out of my head you damn song!

[Psalam]

19 minutes ago, Vacaliga said:

Come on let's twist again

Like we did last summer!

Yeah, let's twist agai.......

 

Ahhh! Get out of my head you damn song!

Is this any better? Lol!

My daddy is sleepin'
And mama ain't around
Yeah, daddy just sleepin'
And mama ain't around
We're gonna twisty twisty twisty
Till we tear the house down

[GimmeBACON]

Cait from Fallout 4... and her accent. Boston has a high concentration of Irish-Americans, and people adopt local dialects, so why is she the only npc in the Commonwealth to have one. Some people online think she's from Ireland, or that she learned about the Irish stereotype and somehow picked up the accent as part of it (Which still wouldn't explain how she developed it, did she find holotapes and a holotape player?) Isn't it simpler and more likely that whatever area her family came from was largely Irish-American survivors and their accents come from other people also having the same accent?

 

I know I'm thinking to much into it, but still...

[RitualClarity]

On 6/19/2018 at 1:10 PM, Reginald_001 said:

44 years old... Just exercised through my pain for the first time in my life. I always gave up! This time I found the power to continue. My body is shaking and it's hard to lift my arms, or even move my legs, but I love it. What I love even more is how quick my body is shaping up. I've been gaining weight in all sorts of places and I find I'm eating so much more these days.. Shit I lover power training.

Endorphins or some shit like that is the cause. Be careful as you can very well get carried away and not realize you are doing too much and hurt yourself. best to caution on the side of safety due to your mentioned age. It would take a bit longer to recover from a strained muscle etc and quick quicker to loose your progress at this age compared to a 24 year old.

 

However, with age comes determination,and dedication ... you can focus more and get shit done, maybe not as fast as some 24 year old but with more consistency. This will lead you to success when many younger will fail. 

 

Keep in mind some of the greatest scientific ( and other achievements) occurred in famous perople's lives at around this age and on.

[Reginald_001]

2 hours ago, RitualClarity said:

Endorphins or some shit like that is the cause. Be careful as you can very well get carried away and not realize you are doing too much and hurt yourself. best to caution on the side of safety due to your mentioned age. It would take a bit longer to recover from a strained muscle etc and quick quicker to loose your progress at this age compared to a 24 year old.

 

However, with age comes determination,and dedication ... you can focus more and get shit done, maybe not as fast as some 24 year old but with more consistency. This will lead you to success when many younger will fail. 

 

Keep in mind some of the greatest scientific ( and other achievements) occurred in famous perople's lives at around this age and on.

For that very reason I have a personal trainer.

[Reginald_001]

I just realized that the reason why people are so grossed out by seeing their parents kiss or show affection is a defense mechanism, they don't want the competition of another sibling, which would diminish their chance of survival as the parents will need to divide their attention. After realizing this, I'm connecting a lot of dots between people I know that are only child, just have one sibling, or have multiple siblings and their personality.

[RitualClarity]

2 hours ago, TheWhite said:

I got done super fast today at work. Makes me worry that I didn't do everything needed.?

Well, then you do it tomorrow or the next time you are at work   It happens. Be as good as you can be in your position taking care of as much of your work as possible, mistakes will happen and if you are good, they should understand. If not, time to get another job ... at my place of work the celebrate when I do something wrong... lol Really, they celebrate and it is the talk of the place if I do something wrong or miss something. That is a bit much... I think my direct boss doesn't like it. Guess there is something to being too good... lol

7 hours ago, Reginald_001 said:

For that very reason I have a personal trainer.

Hopefully he/she is good at their job and knows when to not push you (when you are just not into it vs when you shouldn't be doing more ;)) Most I have met are good at the technical aspects (get loss of weight, build muscles etc) but not good at judgement of your status.

[KoolHndLuke]

10 hours ago, GimmeBACON said:

Isn't it simpler and more likely that whatever area her family came from was largely Irish-American survivors and their accents come from other people also having the same accent?

I just like to think it's her style. I knew a guy like that once that liked to sound Irish even though his family had lived here in the states for several generations and had shed their accents mostly already. I knew another guy who liked to sound like an English gent- and his family was from Poland.

[RitualClarity]

1 hour ago, KoolHndLuke said:

I just like to think it's her style. I knew a guy like that once that liked to sound Irish even though his family had lived here in the states for several generations and had shed their accents mostly already. I knew another guy who liked to sound like an English gent- and his family was from Poland.

https://www.utdallas.edu/research/FAS/

 

She is a fighter and heavy drug user etc. Possible brain damage. (However, haven't heard of people sounding Irish with this but other accents yes)

[Reginald_001]

"Oh but (s)he does that because (s)he's insecure".

 

I never feel comfortable around insecure persons, and even more uncomfortable when I am insecure myself.

You see, there are two types of 'insecure' people.

 

1) A person that genuinely does not think they are worthy of a thing.

I can deal with these people. Because they are open for being lifted up into a more positive place. They would like to be better, but often just lack the means to do so. Give them the means, and you can see them live up to and then far beyond their own expectations.

 

2) A person that is a perfectionist and does not live up to their own expectations.

I have a big problem with the 2nd type of 'insecure' people. Often their lack of social skills is not because of deep rooted insecurity, it's because of deep rooted underlying arrogance. They feel that they themselves, and everyone else should be better. These are the ones that talk behind your back, make passive aggressive attacks and are commonly not very nice people.... while claiming to have high principles and morals at the same time. Usually they don't even see their own folly!

 

You see, these 'perfectionists' often project their own unreasonable expectations into the world and the people around them. So where they lack faith in themselves, they usually also lack faith in you. There's no winning with these people, because they are insecure by choice, they are not willing to adjust their own expectations and are doomed to live in a negative cycle of insecurity, dragging everyone with them, often resulting in self-destructive behavior.

 

The bitch about it, is that you have dig first, before you can find out whether people are type 1 'insecure' or type 2 'insecure'... so I have commonly just started to avoid insecure people in general. Sure I'll talk and be friendly and will work with them, but I genuinely don't trust them until I get to know them better. Besides, why should I trust them, when they don't even trust themselves?

 

*DISCLAIMER: This topic is 'what's on your mind', that means that the above might not in any way reflect my eventual stance on this subject. My opinions and views are always changing and evolving. So this is just 'what's on my mind' right now.

[KoolHndLuke]

Well, this has been a shitty Summer so far financially for me. Bad investment, can't sell anything, other money I was going to make gone due to a fuck-up on their part. Much more of this shit and I'll be sleeping behind a dumpster somewhere.

[ToJKa]

Dark Souls: that hollow has a shield. If i hit it, i'll recoil and leave myself open for a counterattack. And trying to get behind him is likely to cause him to bash me with it.

Doom 2016: that zombie has a shield. Shooting at it is pointless, i need to get something explosive behind him. Or just chainsaw trough it, but the gas is limited and i may need it later.

Skyrim: That bandit has shield. I'll just knock on it until he drops dead.

?

[Reginald_001]

About to fly off, will be picked up in less than 30 minutes by the taxi driver. I'm searching for ways to cancel, cause I don't wanna go.. Even though it should be fun because it's a holiday. I just want to hide and stay at home, where it's safe and friendly. I really am quite scared of the outside world.

 

*Smokes 7th cigarette

 

 

[FauxFurry]

Anything but the Devil's Haircut this time. Perhaps I ponder the nature of the Devil concept itself?

The good intentions which pave the road to Hell might be as important as what awaits in that metaphorical Hell itself.

[FauxFurry]

22 hours ago, ToJKa said:

Dark Souls: that hollow has a shield. If i hit it, i'll recoil and leave myself open for a counterattack. And trying to get behind him is likely to cause him to bash me with it.

Doom 2016: that zombie has a shield. Shooting at it is pointless, i need to get something explosive behind him. Or just chainsaw trough it, but the gas is limited and i may need it later.

Skyrim: That bandit has shield. I'll just knock on it until he drops dead.

?

Its better to use one's own shield to charge right through the bandit's defense than to power attack through his defense.

The best counter-defense is absolute defense...or something like that.

[theposhmudcrab]

I cracked open a cold one alone, I wish I could crack open a cold one with the boys.

[GimmeBACON]

... Fucking Oxhorn.