About true love, impossible crushes and real life

[Myst42]

What the title says. Do u guys think true love exists?

LL therapy time!

[Please refrain from reading if you're not a certified LL internet forum therapist]

 

 

My whole life is so fucked up regarding relationships...

I've always been a hopeless romantic, and it has brought me nothing but misery.

 

I've had a few relationships over my life, but It always ends boringly. It's basically the fact that I'm in love with a dream.

An impossible idea of "perfect love" where I find this muse that inspires me to be a better man, that walks beside me as I walk beside her, and that we love each other unconditionally as we go through life facing the many dangers of it and we can always count on each other. A kind of love that lasts through time and space no matter what obstacles stand in the way, because kindred spirits always find each other even in the most utter darkness.

 

Usually the kind of person that I'm attracted to, gathers rare qualities, such as intelligence, a kind of ethereal beauty, mysticism, and a creative soul. Of course I can find a lot of different types of people attractive, but there's only a handful of qualities that make me "want to marry" someone.

As most if these ideas are just fantasies, I often find myself severly dissapointed by reality and feel the need to walk away and never look back.

And dont get me wrong, I know I'm not perfect, I'm not looking for "a perfect person" either. It's just "my kind of perfection", dunno If I'm explaining right... I just wanted something that made me feel whole and realized, and I'm quite aware something like that doesnt fall out of the sky nor it comes for free, one has to work for it.

 

Up to a few weeks ago, I had given up. Entirely resigned myself to the notion that I was in love with a dream and I had to settle myself with what reality had to offer, I thought my dream girl was impossible, and I was content with making a mental creation of such idea in my game chars, it was stable, it was virtual, and that idea would never betray me with the harshness of reality, plust It would remain a fantasy and allowed me to live my real life in peace

 

Until I heard this singer.., And her voice just reached into my soul and tore it to tiny little pieces. I tried to find out more about her but apparently, she's one of the few remaining real mysteries in music industry.

And I found myself again, in love with an idea. An idea I know I don't actually know as a real person, apart from the fact we have a terrible age difference, and we live on different sides of the planet. So I'm not a delusional stalker or anything.

I'm not sure if I explain mysef... I don't think it's the actual person, but the idea of that person.

If anything, the age difference only makes it worse, as it creates a "memory of the past" feeling that mimics the pain of something lost, never to come back. She's still alive, still beautiful and still sings, but she's gone really underground though.

And I'm under the impression they don't "make" women like her anymore.

I don't even know if it's love, but it hurts and it certainly has those ugly neurotransmiters and chemicals that flood your brain and make you feel crappy involved.

It's the notion that a creature of such beauty can actually exist, the idea that someone who can make you fall in love with a simple glare, is real, the idea that a person that only needs 2 minutes of singing to break your heart to pieces is out there somewhere or was at some point in history. Hell, even her talking voice is able to do that. And ultimately, mixed with feelings of how ephemeral everything is, the uncertainty that it'll ever happen again.

 

Curently there are like a few women in my life I flirt with every now and then.... we can talk about stuff, have a couple of laughs and ocassionally, seductive gestures happen. But even though I sense interest, I refrain myself from taking it further mostly because I'm afraid of the ussual dissapointment and the lack of that dream vibe I yearn. Yes' they're attractive, but it certainly doesnt feel the same, not on that level anyway.

I find myself coming back to that girl's music even though I'm more the hard-rock and a bit dark music kind of person... not that that's exclusive or anything. But music is a drug and this one is one of the most narcotic types I've ever heard.

I feel indifferent, angry, frustrated and numbed at what reality has to offer, as if I couldn't feel anything else anymore.

These kinds of states have come to me before, and they usually wear off in a couple of months but there's always a beseline that keeps returning.

If only I could find a woman like her in this era...

 

And that's about it, hope I dont make too much of a pathetic fool of myself or was too boring, as I've seen often people sharing similar inner stuff here...

I'ts good to get stuff out of one's chest... With any luck I'll be back to not-caring soon enough...

 

Please do tell me what the wise council of LL therapists, philosophers and scientists thinks and if you have any useful words for a lost soul.

 

I'll leave a few videos of the girl's music in question, her name is ironically, Hope.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGiSKrE6EBghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdQMtvwD7iohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL0269xbykQ

 

 

 

[Caffeine Addict]

What the title says. Do u guys think true love exists?

LL therapy time!

[Please refrain from reading if you're not a certified LL internet forum therapist]

 

I am sorry, I am not certified, my answer has no scientific or empirical evidence, it is purely based on my experience.

 

Does true love exist?

First we have to come to common ground when talking about true love.

 

Do you mean all of the following applies? 

 

You wake up with a smile, because you think of the person.

You have trouble to fall asleep, because you think of the person, but once you do, you do with a smile.

You are distracted from everything you do, because you daydream and can not conenctrate even on little tasks?

Your heart beats faster when you talk to the person.

You have no fun in things you normally enjoy, if you have to do them alone.

You forget to eat.

You feel like half of you is missing when the other person is not around.

You want to share every experience with the person from now on.

You long for the person being by your side all the time.

You want to walk hand in hand or arm in arm down the street.

You want to laugh together at silly things or movies.

You want to give up everything if it is needed to be together.

You want to be a rock during stormy times and give all the support you can.

You want to learn how to dance, so you can dance with the person.

You do not care for distance, because you know it is only a temporary problem.

You can look the person in the eyes and say "I love you" without saying a word and you can read the reply "I love you too" without a spoken word.

You want to watch sunsets and sunrises together

You want to lay on the grass and look at the clouds, telling each other what you see.

You see colours even on a rainy and grey day.

You hum songs and do little happy dances out of the blue.

You do silly walks and skip steps but do not care if people thing you are crazy.

You feel complete and at peace because you found and love your soulmate.

You never want to let go.

The other person also answers every point on the list with "yes".

 

Then I can say: "Yes, true love exists."

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Comrade Selina Kyle]

 

What the title says. Do u guys think true love exists?

LL therapy time!

[Please refrain from reading if you're not a certified LL internet forum therapist]

 

I am sorry, I am not certified, my answer has no scientific or empirical evidence, it is purely based on my experience.

 

Does true love exist?

First we have to come to common ground when talking about true love.

 

Do you mean all of the following applies? 

 

You wake up with a smile, because you think of the person.

You have trouble to fall asleep, because you think of the person, but once you do, you do with a smile.

You are distracted from everything you do, because you daydream and can not conenctrate even on little tasks?

Your heart beats faster when you talk to the person.

You have no fun in things you normally enjoy, if you have to do them alone.

You forget to eat.

You feel like half of you is missing when the other person is not around.

You want to share every experience with the person from now on.

You long for the person being by your side all the time.

You want to walk hand in hand or arm in arm down the street.

You want to laugh together at silly things or movies.

You want to give up everything if it is needed to be together.

You want to be a rock during stormy times and give all the support you can.

You want to learn how to dance, so you can dance with the person.

You do not care for distance, because you know it is only a temporary problem.

You can look the person in the eyes and say "I love you" without saying a word and you can read the reply "I love you too" without a spoken word.

You want to watch sunsets and sunrises together

You want to lay on the grass and look at the clouds, telling each other what you see.

You see colours even on a rainy and grey day.

You hum songs and do little happy dances out of the blue.

You do silly walks and skip steps but do not care if people thing you are crazy.

You feel complete and at peace because you found and love your soulmate.

You never want to let go.

The other person also answers every point on the list with "yes".

 

Then I can say: "Yes, true love exists."

 

 

I am not certified as well and I agree with everything above   

 

My heart is yours

*love sigh*

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest ...failure]

 

What the title says. Do u guys think true love exists?

LL therapy time!

[Please refrain from reading if you're not a certified LL internet forum therapist]

 

I am sorry, I am not certified, my answer has no scientific or empirical evidence, it is purely based on my experience.

 

Does true love exist?

First we have to come to common ground when talking about true love.

 

Do you mean all of the following applies? 

 

You wake up with a smile, because you think of the person.

You have trouble to fall asleep, because you think of the person, but once you do, you do with a smile.

You are distracted from everything you do, because you daydream and can not conenctrate even on little tasks?

Your heart beats faster when you talk to the person.

You have no fun in things you normally enjoy, if you have to do them alone.

You forget to eat.

You feel like half of you is missing when the other person is not around.

You want to share every experience with the person from now on.

You long for the person being by your side all the time.

You want to walk hand in hand or arm in arm down the street.

You want to laugh together at silly things or movies.

You want to give up everything if it is needed to be together.

You want to be a rock during stormy times and give all the support you can.

You want to learn how to dance, so you can dance with the person.

You do not care for distance, because you know it is only a temporary problem.

You can look the person in the eyes and say "I love you" without saying a word and you can read the reply "I love you too" without a spoken word.

You want to watch sunsets and sunrises together

You want to lay on the grass and look at the clouds, telling each other what you see.

You see colours even on a rainy and grey day.

You hum songs and do little happy dances out of the blue.

You do silly walks and skip steps but do not care if people thing you are crazy.

You feel complete and at peace because you found and love your soulmate.

You never want to let go.

The other person also answers every point on the list with "yes".

 

Then I can say: "Yes, true love exists."

 

 

 

THIS

IS

 

[legendarytoyou]

"True love exists in the border between happiness and pain.  Hitting the target is the real challenge." -Unknown

 

Heard that once, not sure who the author is but I have to admit OP you and I are about the same; I'm a hopeless romantic in love with a dream.  A dream I know isn't based in reality mostly because I suffer from a different perspective;

 

I have almost 0 faith in humanity.

 

I try to understand and even hope there is some semblance of good in people but every day the news says differently.  Murders, rapes, assaults, mindless butchery, mindless violence and indiscriminate hatred among the people.  Muslim extremists hate everyone because they're not Muslim, racists hate people who are different color and radical feminists hate men because they were simply born male.  The world at times seems to be drowning in hate because it seems that's all we are capable of doing.  It's hard to feel loving when you are constantly reminded that we're adrift in a sea of blood.  

 

Its the reason I keep 9 year old little girls face on my desktop; to remind me that I should never give up hope.  There is some good left in the world and she's proof of it.  I may never find my ideal mate in life (preferably female, loving, non violent, intelligent and philosophical at heart) but as long as I remember that sweet little face it'll keep me strong.  Keep me sane.  Keep me from outright just leaving humanity to its self-eating fate.  There is good left in this world...and it's worth fighting for.

 

I'll of course still keep hope that someday I'll meet my better half, but at the age of 40 and still find my passion in video games and writing I have my doubts that some woman out their shares my passions.  After all; I'm one of the few men in this world that loves to watch The Young & The Restless =D

[Caffeine Addict]

 

~snip~

 

You know, this reminded me of one of the (in my opinion) most heartwarming moments from the Simpsons:

 

 

 

 

 

I have to admit, I felt a lot like you, but it took only one person to restore my faith in humanity.

"Finding" (I use quotation marks because I wasn't searching, it just happened) the special person turned my view of the world upside down 

and changed everything for me. I have hope for the future and look forward, not downward.

 

Maybe it happened because I wasn't searching or looking? Do we put too much pressure onto ourselves if we try too hard?

If it happens, it just happens and rushes over you like a wave

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

I'll just leave this here

 

 

 

[Myst42]

 

 

@Comrades:

Awwww...

And

"XD" btw...

Alright It's ok, not to be certified

About the concept I'd say It englobes all of that.

Though It's difficult to separate true from chemicals. When something like that endures over time and doesnt wear off I'd say It's about as true as it gets

Hope you continue down this path... "living the dream" and may it be long and happily ever after.

I know the point of stop looking, from experience and observation I can also tell that doesn't seem to be the way it works, and it just "happens"

The problem is staying awake enough to notice when it does happen.

 

 

So... I'm not the only one then?

It's curious how you mention all the hate in humanity

From certain philosophical points of view, love is very closely related to hate. Like one can turn into the other in the blink of an eye and there cannot be hate without love, it simply doesnt have the strength and it's called apathy instead. Strongests forms of hatred are often born of broken love. So maybe there is potential in humanity to turn all that hate around... maybe...

And this is what I hate the most about my own nature. One minute I am the grumpiest of cats, the next I feel hope again... I mean... maybe there are still people out there with that same beauty and power to make one fall in love in a second, and somewhere out there there's another one just like that waiting for the right one... But until that happens, I'm a bit bipolarish

 

I'll just leave this here

And that's exactly one of my worries too.

Chemicals can be deceiving, the brain is tricky and some brains are more prone to chemicals than others.

So how does one learn to tell the difference if there is one?

I want to believe there is.

[Queen Bee]

Normally I'm a lot more verbose about this sort of thing, so I apologize if I'm a bit to brief. I just don't have the free time I used to.

 

I've always been a hopeless romantic, and it has brought me nothing but misery.

This might sound really, really cynical, but if something like that is bringing you pain and misery you're probably better off without it. This isn't 'tis better to have loved and lost' territory here, this is 'interfering with the daily function of my being'. What good is love if it brings down the quality of your life?

 

I've had a few relationships over my life, but It always ends boringly. It's basically the fact that I'm in love with a dream.

An impossible idea of "perfect love" where I find this muse that inspires me to be a better man, that walks beside me as I walk beside her, and that we love each other unconditionally as we go through life facing the many dangers of it and we can always count on each other. A kind of love that lasts through time and space no matter what obstacles stand in the way, because kindred spirits always find each other even in the most utter darkness.

 

This kind of love doesn't exist outside of Hollywood. I'm sorry. Take it from someone who's been around the block quite a few times. Love, real love, isn't about things being instantly easier just because you're with that one special person. Sure, things might be like that at first, but I guarantee you no one in a successful relationship that has lasted for years would claim it's still like that. The dust always settles, your bodies catch up with momentum, and you all float on all right. It sounds like you consider that to be 'ending boringly', which makes me wonder if you're even still putting forth effort by that point.

 

Real love takes a metric fuckton of work. You can't just bask in the glow 24/7 and expect everything to be perfect for all time. If you're not giving as much as you get, of course it'll die. Love is like a baby, it needs to be fed and cared for. The idea that it'll last 'no matter what obstacles stand in the way' needs to leave your head, because it's the overcoming of those obstacles that feeds love in the first place. That shit's gotta come from both of you, a mutual cooperation.

 

And shit son, love is blind as a deaf bat. Love is not going to guide you through the darkness, you're going to guide love. It's in those moments of doubt and separation that you need to show love you can stand the test of time, not the other way around. Prove you're up to the challenge and love may yet stand tall. Because if you're not in it 100%, why do you deserve it in the first place?

 

Usually the kind of person that I'm attracted to, gathers rare qualities, such as intelligence, a kind of ethereal beauty, mysticism, and a creative soul. Of course I can find a lot of different types of people attractive, but there's only a handful of qualities that make me "want to marry" someone.

As most if these ideas are just fantasies, I often find myself severly dissapointed by reality and feel the need to walk away and never look back.

And dont get me wrong, I know I'm not perfect, I'm not looking for "a perfect person" either. It's just "my kind of perfection", dunno If I'm explaining right... I just wanted something that made me feel whole and realized, and I'm quite aware something like that doesnt fall out of the sky nor it comes for free, one has to work for it.

 

Okay, so you do understand this takes work. Fantastic. I hope that means you'll take my above advice to heart.

 

Having ideals is great and all, but you said it yourself, you're disappointed by reality. You call it fantasy to want someone like this, so you're aware someone like that doesn't really exist (or at least, not without a lot of flaws that counter the merits). What it sounds like to me is, as disappointed by reality as you are, you're still clinging to that ideal as though you can wish it into existence. I got more bad news for you, that will never happen.

 

I know people like me are branded jaded cynics, and we get told shit like "You just don't understand! You've never felt the way I've felt!" Except yeah, I have, and I know what it's like after the rainbow has faded and the pot of gold has tarnished. We don't live in a magic fairyland, we live in reality, and even if we're not seeking perfection but our own personal version of it, we're in for some disappointment unless we keep a practical eye on things.

 

Let me be clear, I'm not saying don't seek someone worth your time. I'm not saying settle for less, or take whatever you can get. You're worth spending time with someone good for you, a puzzle that fits. But no two puzzles fit perfectly. You need to look for someone who you love for their flaws as much as their merits, someone who will love you for yours. Everyone's got baggage, and like the song says, "life is short, time is flying, I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine."

 

Up to a few weeks ago, I had given up. Entirely resigned myself to the notion that I was in love with a dream and I had to settle myself with what reality had to offer, I thought my dream girl was impossible, and I was content with making a mental creation of such idea in my game chars, it was stable, it was virtual, and that idea would never betray me with the harshness of reality, plust It would remain a fantasy and allowed me to live my real life in peace

 

Until I heard this singer.., And her voice just reached into my soul and tore it to tiny little pieces. I tried to find out more about her but apparently, she's one of the few remaining real mysteries in music industry.

And I found myself again, in love with an idea. An idea I know I don't actually know as a real person, apart from the fact we have a terrible age difference, and we live on different sides of the planet. So I'm not a delusional stalker or anything.

I'm not sure if I explain mysef... I don't think it's the actual person, but the idea of that person.

If anything, the age difference only makes it worse, as it creates a "memory of the past" feeling that mimics the pain of something lost, never to come back. She's still alive, still beautiful and still sings, but she's gone really underground though.

And I'm under the impression they don't "make" women like her anymore.

I don't even know if it's love, but it hurts and it certainly has those ugly neurotransmiters and chemicals that flood your brain and make you feel crappy involved.

It's the notion that a creature of such beauty can actually exist, the idea that someone who can make you fall in love with a simple glare, is real, the idea that a person that only needs 2 minutes of singing to break your heart to pieces is out there somewhere or was at some point in history. Hell, even her talking voice is able to do that. And ultimately, mixed with feelings of how ephemeral everything is, the uncertainty that it'll ever happen again.

 

Damn, boy, you got it bad.

 

I remember my first crush on a singer. You might laugh (everyone does), but it was Bjork. And I still think she's great. She's creative, lovely, funny, smart, kinda crazy...all the qualities I like. God, I would play her music on repeat for fucking hours. Drove my friends crazy.

 

And then I grew out of it. It happens. I know you don't think it will (I certainly didn't), but give it time and the pain of love will subside and you'll find someone else. Trust me, you don't need to worry about this not happening again. In fact, you'll have the opposite problem as you go through life, it'll happen all the fucking time. At least, until you're older and wiser and less susceptible to this sort of thing. My advice here is to just ride it out.

 

Curently there are like a few women in my life I flirt with every now and then.... we can talk about stuff, have a couple of laughs and ocassionally, seductive gestures happen. But even though I sense interest, I refrain myself from taking it further mostly because I'm afraid of the ussual dissapointment and the lack of that dream vibe I yearn. Yes' they're attractive, but it certainly doesnt feel the same, not on that level anyway.

I find myself coming back to that girl's music even though I'm more the hard-rock and a bit dark music kind of person... not that that's exclusive or anything. But music is a drug and this one is one of the most narcotic types I've ever heard.

I feel indifferent, angry, frustrated and numbed at what reality has to offer, as if I couldn't feel anything else anymore.

These kinds of states have come to me before, and they usually wear off in a couple of months but there's always a beseline that keeps returning.

If only I could find a woman like her in this era...

 

I said it before and I'll say it again, you need to get rid of those pesky ideals! They might seem like a great standard to hold women to, but it sounds to me like they are absolutely killing your love life. You're so afraid of being disappointed because a potential mate isn't exactly the type of woman you want, so even though you're apparently surrounded by suitors you still make no move. I know people who would gladly skin you alive and wear your flesh like a suit so they could take your place.

 

You can't let fear paralyze you. You can't let it rule your decisions. If you want love, go out there and fucking get it. Don't dismiss opportunity that's staring you in the face. That'd be like someone offering you a free million dollars on the street and you saying, "No thanks, I'm holding out for the billion dollar jackpot lottery I just entered".

 

Look, there are no guarantees in love. That super ideal woman that doesn't exist? What if she did? What if you went up to her and started talking to her and she rejected you? What then? Hell, I've been rejected by people I had a super hot ladyboner for, and it fucking hurts but I'm still here. I've had pretty much my ideal woman turn me away for shitty reasons. It crushed me, I wallowed in depression, but when that got old I dragged myself out of it and forced myself back to having as normal a life as I could. And then I met the man that is now my husband. Ain't life funny like that?

 

My point is, you have no idea what could be around the next corner. And you're never going to find out until you turn it.

 

So turn it.

 

And that's about it, hope I dont make too much of a pathetic fool of myself or was too boring, as I've seen often people sharing similar inner stuff here...

I'ts good to get stuff out of one's chest... With any luck I'll be back to not-caring soon enough...

 

Please do tell me what the wise council of LL therapists, philosophers and scientists thinks and if you have any useful words for a lost soul.

 

I'll leave a few videos of the girl's music in question, her name is ironically, Hope.

Ah, Mazzy Star. Yeah, she's got a great voice. I grew up listening to her in the 90s. You're not alone in your crush, my friend.

 

You are distracted from everything you do, because you daydream and can not conenctrate even on little tasks?

 

You have no fun in things you normally enjoy, if you have to do them alone.

You forget to eat.

You feel like half of you is missing when the other person is not around.

You want to share every experience with the person from now on.

You long for the person being by your side all the time.

 

You want to give up everything if it is needed to be together.

 

You feel complete and at peace because you found and love your soulmate.

You never want to let go.

The other person also answers every point on the list with "yes".

 

Then I can say: "Yes, true love exists."

I'm sorry, but these in particular sound horrible. I showed this to my husband and he said they're horrible. We're two people in love telling you this is horrible. I hope that helps.

[Guest Mogie56]

It exists for "those" who are willing to work for it. and "those" meaning a pair of people not just one or the other. Both have to be willing to work at it every single day and communicate no matter what. Failed relationships only happen if one or the other or even both aren't putting forth the effort. Non-communication is huge because it shows an unwillingness to work on the relationship. But it doesn't have to be and shouldn't be a full time job just to stay together, if that's the case then something is wrong and needs communication to even have a chance of resolving it. But YES it does exist but not without effort and honesty from both sides.

[Caffeine Addict]

 

You are distracted from everything you do, because you daydream and can not conenctrate even on little tasks?

 

You have no fun in things you normally enjoy, if you have to do them alone.

You forget to eat.

You feel like half of you is missing when the other person is not around.

You want to share every experience with the person from now on.

You long for the person being by your side all the time.

 

You want to give up everything if it is needed to be together.

 

You feel complete and at peace because you found and love your soulmate.

You never want to let go.

The other person also answers every point on the list with "yes".

 

Then I can say: "Yes, true love exists."

I'm sorry, but these in particular sound horrible. I showed this to my husband and he said they're horrible. We're two people in love telling you this is horrible. I hope that helps.

 

 

What should it help with? It is ok if you two think it is horrible, but I guess to each their own. I am ok with you thinking otherwise, but like I said, I wrote from my experience and I enjoy every moment of it and woudn't want to feel any other way.

I just wanted to share how I feel and did not want to discuss my feelings or wanted them to be judged

You might want to take a piss on it, but it doesn't change how I feel and that I am absolutely happy in love. 

And I won't comment again, since I do not feel like I have to defend my feelings and my love to anybody.

 

Peace out.

[Queen Bee]

 

 

You are distracted from everything you do, because you daydream and can not conenctrate even on little tasks?

 

You have no fun in things you normally enjoy, if you have to do them alone.

You forget to eat.

You feel like half of you is missing when the other person is not around.

You want to share every experience with the person from now on.

You long for the person being by your side all the time.

 

You want to give up everything if it is needed to be together.

 

You feel complete and at peace because you found and love your soulmate.

You never want to let go.

The other person also answers every point on the list with "yes".

 

Then I can say: "Yes, true love exists."

I'm sorry, but these in particular sound horrible. I showed this to my husband and he said they're horrible. We're two people in love telling you this is horrible. I hope that helps.

 

 

What should it help with? It is ok if you two think it is horrible, but I guess to each their own. I am ok with you thinking otherwise, but like I said, I wrote from my experience and I enjoy every moment of it and woudn't want to feel any other way.

I just wanted to share how I feel and did not want to discuss my feelings or wanted them to be judged

You might want to take a piss on it, but it doesn't change how I feel and that I am absolutely happy in love. 

And I won't comment again, since I do not feel like I have to defend my feelings and my love to anybody.

 

Peace out.

 

Eh, your call. It wasn't my intention to attack you but to challenge you. I think it's more interesting to open a dialog about our respective interpretations of love. If yours can't take a bloody nose now and then, I wonder if it's really that strong to begin with.

[Swiftstep]

I believe one could say: true love is like the female orgasm - it's not needed to become pregnant.

 

Takes some time to see a philosophical guideline in this.

[Chaos63]

Love sucks ass. Friendship is 9000x better. And more enjoyable.

[Myst42]

 

Hah!

You were always the "tough love" kinda person, from what I recall

I guess we can all agree the real thing needs work.

About ideals, I understand that "perfect" (for me) does not mean "flawless" But I guess you're right, I cling to the idea of certain qualities I keep falling for and It's hard as hell to let go. Some people have those qualities for real but some times one just looks too impulsively and falls for illusions than can break apart at any second.

As for my little crush, I just wish it happened with real available people instead of dreams... It's a bit comforting to know I'm not alone, though. It intrigues me how can someone wield such power, and I wish I could find someone like that in real life. That kind of power is how to put it... "It just ain't fair" Huh...Talking about chaising fairies...

Too bad you're telling me to take the long route and "ride it out"... Wanted the short, painless way.

And no I wont laugh about Bjork... I get it. And I'd be a terrible hypocrite if I laughed. Besides again, it's comforting to know it happens.

TBH I'm divided between "believing life has a way of surprising you if you just ride along" and "entirely losing faith in any kind of real happiness because it's just not possible" Brain and reason say one thing, chemicals say many different things and just keep constantly beating the crap out of each other.

Anyway, Your tough love comes very handy in trying to accept reality as it comes.

There's some serious stuff to think about...

 

About comrades' love... I have to agree with "to each their own"

Some people like tough love, some people like valentine's day and some people like twilight, Shit for some is almost guaranteed to be another man's gold

[Guest Comrade Selina Kyle]

 

 

 

You are distracted from everything you do, because you daydream and can not conenctrate even on little tasks?

 

You have no fun in things you normally enjoy, if you have to do them alone.

You forget to eat.

You feel like half of you is missing when the other person is not around.

You want to share every experience with the person from now on.

You long for the person being by your side all the time.

 

You want to give up everything if it is needed to be together.

 

You feel complete and at peace because you found and love your soulmate.

You never want to let go.

The other person also answers every point on the list with "yes".

 

Then I can say: "Yes, true love exists."

I'm sorry, but these in particular sound horrible. I showed this to my husband and he said they're horrible. We're two people in love telling you this is horrible. I hope that helps.

 

 

What should it help with? It is ok if you two think it is horrible, but I guess to each their own. I am ok with you thinking otherwise, but like I said, I wrote from my experience and I enjoy every moment of it and woudn't want to feel any other way.

I just wanted to share how I feel and did not want to discuss my feelings or wanted them to be judged

You might want to take a piss on it, but it doesn't change how I feel and that I am absolutely happy in love. 

And I won't comment again, since I do not feel like I have to defend my feelings and my love to anybody.

 

Peace out.

 

Eh, your call. It wasn't my intention to attack you but to challenge you. I think it's more interesting to open a dialog about our respective interpretations of love. If yours can't take a bloody nose now and then, I wonder if it's really that strong to begin with.

 

 

Let me explain in my point of view, probably should be what my Martian wanted explain

 

 

You are distracted from everything you do, because you daydream and can not conenctrate even on little tasks?

 

When you have been thinking on that person who's far far away from you. Not that you are not concentrate or left aside what you need to do in your job , but for a minute you starts to thinking on and missing his presence and losing your concentration.. .yep sometimes it happens. I'm sorry but if you don't feel missing of your friends , family or love, of course, someone who makes you feel happy, probably you are not human.

 

You have no fun in things you normally enjoy, if you have to do them alone.

 

 

Like play video games. I'm Kidding. No I love videogames, being the joystick 2 , ok.

Watch a movie, eat a pizza, visit your parents, have a christmas party, nothing has sense when you need to do it alone.

 

You forget to eat.

 

When you are in love for someone, sometimes your stomach has a kind of strange effect, right. I guess it happens when you could be a bit anxious, when you kiss in first time, when you get married, when you have a kid, even in your first steps on earth as human babies, this is the effect, you probably felt the same by your husband when you had seen him for the first dates, confess it.

 

 

 

 

You feel like half of you is missing when the other person is not around.

You want to share every experience with the person from now on.

You long for the person being by your side all the time.

You want to give up everything if it is needed to be together.

 

We live in different countries, apart by the ocean. We just feel it.  So when he wrote this above, was because of it.

 

 

 

You feel complete and at peace because you found and love your soulmate.

 

We share the same feelings and beliefs, we have a lot of things we like to do and philosophical thoughts in common, sharing tastes so... we only  being apart in each part of the world but is like the another half is calling by the other, when I think on him he answer me... only some particular coincidences.

You never want to let go.

The other person also answers every point on the list with "yes".

Then I can say: "Yes, true love exists."

 

I'm sorry, but when you really loves someone, you never wants let him go, right. If you want, probably you don't love this person. Of course, we respect own freedom and different interests, because we have another different persons inside our lives (family, job, friends...) who need us not in the same time of our interests, anyway, we never want something good and wonderful be finished, right.

Not sound horrible when you stop to thinking on how this simple thing has a great meaning inside your life. just sayin.

 

[Queen Bee]

 

 

Hah!

You were always the "tough love" kinda person, from what I recall

I guess we can all agree the real thing needs work.

About ideals, I understand that "perfect" (for me) does not mean "flawless" But I guess you're right, I cling to the idea of certain qualities I keep falling for and It's hard as hell to let go. Some people have those qualities for real but some times one just looks too impulsively and falls for illusions than can break apart at any second.

As for my little crush, I just wish it happened with real available people instead of dreams... It's a bit comforting to know I'm not alone, though. It intrigues me how can someone wield such power, and I wish I could find someone like that in real life. That kind of power is how to put it... "It just ain't fair" Huh...Talking about chaising fairies...

Too bad you're telling me to take the long route and "ride it out"... Wanted the short, painless way.

And no I wont laugh about Bjork... I get it. And I'd be a terrible hypocrite if I laughed. Besides again, it's comforting to know it happens.

TBH I'm divided between "believing life has a way of surprising you if you just ride along" and "entirely losing faith in any kind of real happiness because it's just not possible" Brain and reason say one thing, chemicals say many different things and just keep constantly beating the crap out of each other.

Anyway, Your tough love comes very handy in trying to accept reality as it comes.

There's some serious stuff to think about...

 

About comrades' love... I have to agree with "to each their own"

Some people like tough love, some people like valentine's day and some people like twilight, Shit for some is almost guaranteed to be another man's gold

 

 

Oh, you remember me? I'm terrible, I leave and come back and can't remember anyone. Well, almost anyone.

 

The thing about love is it has to adapt to survive, in the truest Darwinian sense. You're right that I believe in tough love, but that's not the only form I expect love to take. You know how Jack Black sings, "you don't always have to fuck her hard". Well, that goes for love, too. Sometimes love can be hard and harsh, like the love that makes you shout at your best friend for driving drunk. Sometimes it can be soft, like when you hold your baby nephew for the first time. It all depends on the situation. The most important thing above all is to keep the faith. Love is out there, and it can be found.

 

As for the 'short, painless way' of getting rid of your crush, I point again to my suggestion of turning that corner and looking elsewhere. Take risks, let yourself get hurt, break some hearts, and eventually you'll find what you're looking for. No one said it would be easy. And really, nothing this amazing should be.

 

[Myst42]

Oh, you remember me? I'm terrible, I leave and come back and can't remember anyone. Well, almost anyone.

 

The thing about love is it has to adapt to survive, in the truest Darwinian sense. You're right that I believe in tough love, but that's not the only form I expect love to take. You know how Jack Black sings, "you don't always have to fuck her hard". Well, that goes for love, too. Sometimes love can be hard and harsh, like the love that makes you shout at your best friend for driving drunk. Sometimes it can be soft, like when you hold your baby nephew for the first time. It all depends on the situation. The most important thing above all is to keep the faith. Love is out there, and it can be found.

 

As for the 'short, painless way' of getting rid of your crush, I point again to my suggestion of turning that corner and looking elsewhere. Take risks, let yourself get hurt, break some hearts, and eventually you'll find what you're looking for. No one said it would be easy. And really, nothing this amazing should be.

 

Well.... I was another person until recently so still...

 

It gives one hope to know even in this horrible world where people live stressed and angry, obsessed with making money, completely nihilistic to anything and relationships are usually about nothing more than just fucking and "having a good time" there is still people who believes in something more to it.

For now, facing my own nature, I can only think on one thing... "just keep going"

My hope resides on the possibility that If I dont stop, maybe I'll find some answers... With any luck, that's good enough...

That's the only rational thing that makes sense without being a dark abyss of nihilism and grumpyness, so I'll just have to stick to it and keep repeating it.

[jorgen.klein]

Does true love exist? yes most certainly, First we all need to realise that love is a two way system, and NEVER addressed to ones self, but always towards the other. Secondly one needs to realise that when you are in a relationship you stop belonging to yourself, but your partner owns you and you own your partner. In a way is a love relationship an sort of being best friends with your partner only then, one step further. Would you betray or being disloyal towards your best friend?! I guess not.

 

The things described as events here, have little to do with real love, but much more with feeling of being in love. Being in love doesn't mean that the love is real or mutual. But gives you the sign that you really like the person and want to know that person. That is also the function of feeling in love with another person, to get to know another, to see if you both fit with each other, but that doesn't mean that it will. The greatest TRAP in which many have felt on, is SEX when you have that mutual interest and you both decide that you both want to have sex that the risk is very well present that the relationship is based on SEX, but that is not a good foundation for any future development or sustainability. The older we get the more difficult we can move our body, so logical wise the sex will also become less interesting and in the long run... the sex will also be the cause of the break-up.

 

If you found someone and he/she is interested in you as you are into him/her and you both have decided that you want to be in a love relationship.... Then ask yourself the following questions:

- Am I willing to grow old with this person (imagine yourself with your partner as old couple sitting in a park)?

- Am I willing to take care of my partner if he/she become disabled (even to a point that sex becomes impossible)?

- Do I see my partner as the father/mother of my children ? (even when you have no wish for children, you have to ask this)

- Will my partner answer the same on these questions?

 

If you and your partner answer these questions with a definitive "YES" THEN and ONLY then you have found true love.

REMEMBER; LOVE IS NOT ABOUT YOU OR YOUR PARTNER, IT'S ABOUT YOU BOTH!!!

What the title says. Do u guys think true love exists?

LL therapy time!

[Please refrain from reading if you're not a certified LL internet forum therapist]

 

 

My whole life is so fucked up regarding relationships...

I've always been a hopeless romantic, and it has brought me nothing but misery.

 

I've had a few relationships over my life, but It always ends boringly. It's basically the fact that I'm in love with a dream.

An impossible idea of "perfect love" where I find this muse that inspires me to be a better man, that walks beside me as I walk beside her, and that we love each other unconditionally as we go through life facing the many dangers of it and we can always count on each other. A kind of love that lasts through time and space no matter what obstacles stand in the way, because kindred spirits always find each other even in the most utter darkness.

 

Usually the kind of person that I'm attracted to, gathers rare qualities, such as intelligence, a kind of ethereal beauty, mysticism, and a creative soul. Of course I can find a lot of different types of people attractive, but there's only a handful of qualities that make me "want to marry" someone.

As most if these ideas are just fantasies, I often find myself severly dissapointed by reality and feel the need to walk away and never look back.

And dont get me wrong, I know I'm not perfect, I'm not looking for "a perfect person" either. It's just "my kind of perfection", dunno If I'm explaining right... I just wanted something that made me feel whole and realized, and I'm quite aware something like that doesnt fall out of the sky nor it comes for free, one has to work for it.

 

Up to a few weeks ago, I had given up. Entirely resigned myself to the notion that I was in love with a dream and I had to settle myself with what reality had to offer, I thought my dream girl was impossible, and I was content with making a mental creation of such idea in my game chars, it was stable, it was virtual, and that idea would never betray me with the harshness of reality, plust It would remain a fantasy and allowed me to live my real life in peace

 

Until I heard this singer.., And her voice just reached into my soul and tore it to tiny little pieces. I tried to find out more about her but apparently, she's one of the few remaining real mysteries in music industry.

And I found myself again, in love with an idea. An idea I know I don't actually know as a real person, apart from the fact we have a terrible age difference, and we live on different sides of the planet. So I'm not a delusional stalker or anything.

I'm not sure if I explain mysef... I don't think it's the actual person, but the idea of that person.

If anything, the age difference only makes it worse, as it creates a "memory of the past" feeling that mimics the pain of something lost, never to come back. She's still alive, still beautiful and still sings, but she's gone really underground though.

And I'm under the impression they don't "make" women like her anymore.

I don't even know if it's love, but it hurts and it certainly has those ugly neurotransmiters and chemicals that flood your brain and make you feel crappy involved.

It's the notion that a creature of such beauty can actually exist, the idea that someone who can make you fall in love with a simple glare, is real, the idea that a person that only needs 2 minutes of singing to break your heart to pieces is out there somewhere or was at some point in history. Hell, even her talking voice is able to do that. And ultimately, mixed with feelings of how ephemeral everything is, the uncertainty that it'll ever happen again.

 

Curently there are like a few women in my life I flirt with every now and then.... we can talk about stuff, have a couple of laughs and ocassionally, seductive gestures happen. But even though I sense interest, I refrain myself from taking it further mostly because I'm afraid of the ussual dissapointment and the lack of that dream vibe I yearn. Yes' they're attractive, but it certainly doesnt feel the same, not on that level anyway.

I find myself coming back to that girl's music even though I'm more the hard-rock and a bit dark music kind of person... not that that's exclusive or anything. But music is a drug and this one is one of the most narcotic types I've ever heard.

I feel indifferent, angry, frustrated and numbed at what reality has to offer, as if I couldn't feel anything else anymore.

These kinds of states have come to me before, and they usually wear off in a couple of months but there's always a beseline that keeps returning.

If only I could find a woman like her in this era...

 

And that's about it, hope I dont make too much of a pathetic fool of myself or was too boring, as I've seen often people sharing similar inner stuff here...

I'ts good to get stuff out of one's chest... With any luck I'll be back to not-caring soon enough...

 

Please do tell me what the wise council of LL therapists, philosophers and scientists thinks and if you have any useful words for a lost soul.

 

I'll leave a few videos of the girl's music in question, her name is ironically, Hope.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGiSKrE6EBghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdQMtvwD7iohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL0269xbykQ